Total Drama Insanity
by Ohfortheloveofpete
Summary: After Chris is sent to prison for turning Total Drama Island into a toxic dump, Blaineley decides to take over the show and make twenty-two previous campers compete for a million dollars and fifty cents. Who will win the fifth season of Total Drama?
1. Day 1: Introducing the Campers

Total Drama Insanity

_Well, everyone, I've decided to create a Total Drama Island fic. Why you may ask? Well, considering how many fanfics have already been created dealing with Total Drama Island…I figured that I couldn't go too wrong. And I figured I could probably create a fic that's a parody of sorts, as you can tell by the title._

_Nonetheless, let me know what you think of this fic, and if there's anything I can do better. Feel free to leave me any suggestions in your reviews._

**Chapter 1: Introducing The Campers**

Blaineley was standing outside the docks of Total Drama Island holding a microphone. She had a big smile on her face, and looked eager to begin the show.

"Hello everyone, and welcome to the next season of Total Drama Island! I'm your host, Blaineley!" she exclaimed. "You're probably wondering what happened to Chris and why he isn't hosting this season. To make a long story short, he's in prison for turning the island into a toxic dump. So if you're not happy that I've replaced him, then too bad! Deal with it!"

"Anyways," she continued. "Due to the fact that I did not feel like watching audition tapes, I decided to include campers that have already competed in previous seasons. First of all, let's welcome Owen, the winner of the original Total Drama Island!"

Shortly afterwards, a yacht arrived, and standing onboard was Owen, who was eating a delicious hamburger.

"Hey Blaineley. I thought you were-"

"Of course not, silly! Everyone knows I'm hotter than I'm a boiling volcano!" Blaineley cut off Owen. "And I also happen to know a very good doctor."

_FLASHBACK_

_Blaineley was strapped to an operating table, and a mad doctor approached her._

"_Don't worry, this is a completely safe medical procedure! Unfortunately due to budget cuts, I won't be able to use anesthesia! But it will be over in just a jiffy!"_

_Blaineley immediately screamed, but unfortunately due to her bandages she wasn't able to do so effectively. All she could do really was watch as the mad doctor pulled out a bunch of medical instruments._

"By the way, I heard about what happened to Chris. He's in prison for making the island radioactive, right?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm…apparently it wasn't such a good idea to start mutating the local life, now was it? He got what he deserved…and I got what I deserved because they picked me to be in charge of the show!" Blaineley squealed.

_Meanwhile at a maximum security prison…_

"This isn't fair! Let me out of here! I didn't do anything to deserve this! I am perfect, I tell you! Perfect!" he screamed, shaking the bars as he did so.

Chris peeled his hair out in frustration. How could the government do this to the hottest man in the world? Apparently they were jealous of his good looks. And he heard on the newspaper that they hired Blaineley to take over the show as a replacement. This infuriated him to no end.

"How can this get any worse?" he asked.

Chris's question was then answered when a rather obese inmate known by the name of "Chubby" went up to him. He looked angry for some strange reason. Maybe he didn't have lunch.

"Um…hello?" greeted the former millionaire.

For a moment it looked like he was going to attack him…but then Chubby recognized him as the host of Total Drama Island. However, this did not prove fortunate for Chris at all.

"Hey I know you! You're Chris Maclean, the host of Total Drama Island! I am such a big fan!" he squealed. He picked up Chris and began hugging him tightly.

"We're going to be the best of friends!" he squealed once again.

"Someone kill me!" screamed Chris.

_Back to the campers…_

"Wow, Chris certainly has a rough life ahead of him." spoke Owen.

"Anyways, let's welcome our next contestant…who by the way managed to win Total Drama Revenge of the Island! At least he did so in the American version…I don't understand why they keep mixing the winners and the runner-ups around. Their brains must be scrambled or something." Blaineley stated.

"Lightning is in the house!" exclaimed Lightning as he walked towards the dock.

"So, how does it feel to have worn the fourth season? It must be nice to have your own stadium. " asked the hostess.

"It sure does! Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll be able to give Cameron a wedgie this season!" exclaimed the jock.

"Alright then…let's welcome our third contestant…Gwen!" greeted Blaineley.

"Oh look. I'm back for another round of Total Drama Island." said the goth girl.

"How does it feel to be back after missing out on the fourth season?" greeted the blonde.

"I really don't know what to say. I just hope that I don't have to eat eucalyptus again." Gwen explained.

"Our fourth contestant is Dawn!" exclaimed Blaineley.

As it turns out, the moonchild was busy meditating, and therefore she did not seem to notice them. Blaineley was not amused that she wasn't paying attention to her, and she immediately pulled out a foghorn.

"Wake up!" demanded the angry former talk show host.

Dawn immediately jumped in surprise. "Huh? What? Sorry. I must have gone into a trance. I'm pleased to meet you all." apologized Dawn.

"So, are you happy to be in the fifth season?" asked Blaineley.

"Just as long as I don't get framed for stealing from others again. Stupid Scott." she mumbled.

"Scott is a jerk! Lightning is glad that he ended up being crippled! I sure would love to get him a wedgie, that's for sure!" replied Lightning.

"Well, it looks like you're going to get your chance because our next contestant is Scott!" answered Blaineley.

"WHAT?!" Dawn and Lightning both screamed.

Scott chuckled to himself as the yacht pulled over to the dock.

"Heh heh, it's good to be back." he chuckled to himself.

"I see that you've been cured from your paralysis. Are you ready for another season of Total Drama Island?" Blaineley asked.

"I sure am. Heh heh." answered Scott.

Immediately, Owen and Gwen got the feeling that Scott was a total jerk, and that they wouldn't be enjoying the show with him around.

"Our next contestant is another fan favorite, please welcome Zoey!" welcomed Blaineley.

"Hi everyone! It's nice to be on the show again." greeted Zoey.

"So, are you ready for another season?" asked the hostess.

"As long as I'll get to be with Mike. He's the perfect boyfriend!" replied the indie chick.

"Well guess what! He's one of the contestants too!" said Blaineley.

Zoey was very happy about this, to say the very least. As soon as Mike arrived on the island, she immediately gave him a great big hug.

"It's nice to see you too, Zoey." answered Mike.

"Our eighth contestant is a fan favorite, and is possibly the craziest person in the world! Please welcome Izzy!" shouted Blaineley.

"Woohoo! I'm back for another season!" squealed Izzy.

"I bet you're excited." said Blaineley.

"You bet I am! I'm going to rock this island! And best of all, the RCMP will never get me alive!" exclaimed the fiery redhead, raising her hands into the air.

"Sheesh, and people call me crazy." thought Mike, who began to wonder if Izzy was an escaped asylum inmate.

"We've got even more contestants coming! Say hello to Sam!" yelled Blaineley.

Unsurprisingly, Sam was making out with his girlfriend Dakota, and therefore wasn't paying attention. Once again, Blaineley got angry and resorted to using the foghorn.

"Quit making out and introduce yourselves already!" she screamed.

"Whoops sorry! I might have not been paying attention." apologized Sam.

"Sheesh, take it easy! You're not the only one whose a celebrity, you know." complained Dakota.

"Mm-hmm sure. So Sam, have you been looking forward to another season of Total Drama Island? Or have you been just sitting at home playing video games?" asked Blaineley.

"Both, actually." replied Sam.

"As for you Dakota, I see that you're no longer a mutant." stated the hostess.

"Believe me, it took ages for those scientists to finally turn me back to normal. But it feels great to be back on the island again." answered Dakota.

"Shame, I actually enjoyed how you looked when you were a mutant." replied Sam.

"Am I going to become a mutant again?" the fame monger asked Dawn. "You warned me that disasters would happen if I stayed on the island…and well…"

"Nope. I do not sense any mutations to any of the campers happening in the near future…except for maybe memetic mutations. But it's not like I'm perfect." answered Dawn.

Dakota let out a sigh of relief.

"Speaking of mutants, guess who's going to be competing this time!" yelled Blaineley.

"Do you have an indoors voice?" asked Gwen.

"Not when I'm greeting contestants!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Soon enough the next boat arrived, and on it was another camper that had experienced mutation…like Dakota, he had mysteriously turned back to normal, and was now wearing a horseshoe around his neck.

"Hey everyone. I'm surprised you've brought me back after what happened during Total Drama World Tour to be honest…to think I would end up becoming a creature from The Lord of The Rings that wanted nothing less than to obtain the million dollar prize money…I'm glad that I've finally come back to my senses." explained Ezekiel.

"What's that around your neck?" asked Owen.

"Oh that. My dad gave it towards me to give it good luck…hopefully that way I won't end up becoming a monster like I did last season. It felt so weird." Ezekiel stated.

"Tell me about it." answered Dakota.

"Here comes Cameron!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Hi everyone! It's good to be back on the island, and it's great to see you all again." greeted Cameron.

Unfortunately for the bubble boy, Lightning lived up to his name when he ran up behind him and before he could react, gave him a wedgie, causing him to grimace.

"Aargh! What was that for!" he screamed.

"Hey look everyone! He's wearing Hello Kitty underwear!" Lightning taunted.

"Did you really have to give him a wedgie?" inquired Dawn.

"But giving wedgies is fun!" he answered.

"Not to me." whimpered the nerd.

"Says you!" retorted the jock.

"You can save the wedgies for later, because right now we're welcoming yet another contestant! Here comes Tyler!" screeched Blaineley.

"I sure hope Lindsay is here this season…it just wouldn't be the same without her." said Tyler as he stepped onto the dock.

"Actually, she is. Her boat is coming up right now." Blaineley explained.

Tyler immediately smiled at the sight of his girlfriend.

"Hey Skyler! I see that you've one of the contestants too…am I right?" asked Lindsay.

"Mm-hmm. And my name is Tyler! Don't you remember?" asked Tyler.

"Of course I remember! Your name is Phil!" Lindsay exclaimed.

Tyler facepalmed. Why was his name so hard for his girlfriend to remember? It's not like any of the other contestants had trouble remembering it.

"Our next contestant is Heather." explained Blaineley.

Gwen groaned.

"I thought you were dead." answered Cameron.

"Of course I'm not dead! Who the heck even dies on this stupid show! I certainly don't, that's for sure!" yelled Heather.

"Didn't you perish in the zeppelin explosion?" asked Lightning.

"Ah yes…about that…let's just say that I'm glad I had health insurance." answered Heather.

"I still don't understand how you survived." Dawn stated.

"Shut up!" exclaimed Heather.

"Our next contestant for some reason, never talks." Blaineley stated.

Immediately, Dawn realized who it was, and she immediately smiled.

B simply waved to his fellow campers.

"Does he ever talk?" asked Gwen.

"Apparently not." answered Tyler.

Izzy herself was particularly curious.

"Hello…is there anyone there? Hello?! C'mon, say something!" Izzy demanded.

B simply shrugged.

"It's a good thing we have Dawn to translate." thought Cameron.

"For our next contestant, we have Duncan!" shouted Blaineley.

Duncan arrived on the island, looking indifferent like Gwen.

"I don't really see why you want me on the show so bad, you know? Then again, it's not like I have anything better to do." stated the bully.

"He reminds me of Lightning." thought Cameron.

Immediately, Gwen gave Duncan a hug.

"I missed you too…I guess." he answered.

"Now let's welcome his ex-girlfriend Courtney!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Oh no…" thought Duncan.

"Before you make me participate in any more horrible challenges, I'll let you know that I have the right to a lawyer!" yelled out Courtney.

"Sheesh." thought Zoey.

"Yeah yeah yeah, who cares? Let's welcome Brick, shall we?" said Blaineley.

As soon as Brick arrived on the island, he immediately gave his fellow campers a military salute.

"You're not going to make me drop down and give you twenty, are you?" asked Tyler.

"What? Of course not. I'm just here so I can stay in shape. And maybe get some prize money too. And of course make new friends." answered Brick.

"Nice to see you again, Brick!" greeted Zoey.

"Should I drop down and give you twenty?" asked Mike.

"If you want you can give me twenty dollars." shrugged the cadet.

"Sorry, I don't have that money on me. I spent it all on getting that pendant for Zoey." answered the teen with multi-personality disaster.

"Very well then." he said.

"Once again, let's welcome another contestant. Here comes Cody!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Um, hi?" asked Cody. "I was expecting Chris."

"He's behind bars! He can rot in Hell for all I care!" exclaimed the hostess.

"OK…" whimpered Cody.

"Anyways, let's welcome your little girlfriend Sierra…" answered Blaineley.

"Oh no…" he thought.

Immediately, Sierra pounced on top of Cody and began making out with him.

"I thought we agreed to be friends!" he exclaimed.

"That looks like fun! Let me try!" exclaimed Izzy.

Gwen simply facepalmed. "Sheesh, and to think I turned Cody down every time he tried to go out with me…" she muttered.

"Our last contestant is Alejandro!" yelled Blaineley.

Unsurprisingly, several of the Total Drama Island campers fell for his good looks…but the other contestants simply groaned, remembering all the horrible things he had done last season. And how had he recovered anyway? Did a wizard heal him or something? If so, that might have explained why Scott was in tip-top shape as well.

"So, how does it feel to be back?" asked the hostess of Total Drama.

"I'm just glad not to have to wear that suit that makes me look like Darth Vader anymore. Did Chris think what happened to me was a joke or what? Sheesh, and people say I'm evil." answered Alejandro.

"Now then, let me explain what you're all going to get if you win this particular season of Total Drama Island." Blaineley explained. "If you manage to win this season…you'll be getting one million dollars…"

Most of the campers smiled at the thought of winning that kind of money…

"-and fifty cents." continued Blaineley.

The campers then sweatdropped.

"Is Chef still cooking?" asked Owen.

The sound of an oven exploding confirmed this theory.

"Dang nabbit! I knew I shouldn't have bought that oven on Ebay! Now I'm going to have to go and get another one…" grumbled Chef.

**Confessional: Time To Confess To All The Horrible Things You've Ever Done…Or Just Stop By To Talk To Yourself**

**Owen: You know it's funny…if I hadn't thrown the hundred thousand dollars away for a chance to win a million…there probably wouldn't even be a fifth season…**

**Gwen: *yawn* This show is the same every year…one camper wins, the others get nothing. And that's what always happens to me.**

**Heather: Why is it that every time I compete something bad always happens to me? The first time I participated on this show I had my head shaved!**

**Duncan: I wonder if I can make another million on this show…then again it's not like I enjoy this show in the first place.**

**Izzy: Million dollars and fifty cents here I come!**

**Zoey: I just hope that I don't get eliminated by a jock again.**

**Mike: Did Blaineley really have to include Scott as a contestant? It's not like anyone likes him…I sure don't anyway.**

**Scott: *he is rubbing his hands together***

**Alejandro: *he is smiling to the camera***

**Cody: *he is covered with kiss marks***

**Sierra: Maybe if I win this season, Cody will finally love me! Then again it probably doesn't work that way…*sigh***

**Brick: *he is giving a military salute***

**Courtney: If I don't win the show this time, I'm going to sue it into oblivion!**

**Cameron: Getting a wedgie hurts.**

**Lightning: *he is flexing his muscles***

**Lindsay: What was I going to say again?**

**Tyler: I just hope that I don't encounter any more chickens…*shudder***

**Dakota: I sure hope Dawn is right and I don't end up being mutated again…**

**Ezekiel: *sigh* I'm probably going to be voted off first again…**

**Sam: *he is playing a videogame***

**B: *he is simply smiling and waving to the camera***

After introducing all the campers, Blaineley began to feel exhausted. Talking to all the campers had taken away all her energy, and she wanted to take a nice relaxing break. After changing into her rather revealing swimsuit, she decided to go over and have a nice relaxing soak in the hot tub she had reserved for herself personally. However, just when she was about to step in…

"GRAARGGHHH!" screamed a teenage boy, who emerged from the water.

"Aah! Who the heck are you!" screamed Blaineley

The teenager was wearing a white shirt and blue jeans, had blonde hair, was wearing glasses, and above all else, he looked angry.

"My name is James! But what does that even matter? This fanfic sucks! It's not original at all! Everyone is completely out of character! Chris isn't even the host of the show! This fanfic is complete and utter garbage! I demand Ohforftheloveofpete to take it off the site immediately!" screamed the boy.

"I don't think the author's making them that out of character…wait, what am I saying? Get out of here now! I need my privacy!" demanded Blaineley.

"Not until the author deletes this piece of garbage!" exclaimed James.

"But if he does that, we won't see the end of the story…and therefore we won't get to see who wins the season…wait where was I? Ah yes, security!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Two security guards immediately grabbed James by the arms and took him away.

"Don't think this is over, Ohforftheloveofpete! I will not rest until this fanfic is off of forever!" bellowed James as he was dragged away.

_And the fifth season of Total Drama Island is underway…what do you think is going to happen? And what do you think of James? Has any one of you encountered someone like him before? I know I have…in fact, I included him as a take that, if you get what I'm saying._

_In the next chapter, the contestants are going to be assigned teams…which team will they end up in, you ask? You'll find out._


	2. Day 1: Assigning Teams

Total Drama Insanity

_Seeing though you enjoyed the opening chapter, I've decided to continue this fic…like I said, I will appreciate any suggestions to improve the story…but for now, Blaineley is going to assign the campers into two teams…perhaps she's hoping that they'll all be at each other's throats? Then again it's always been the rule to split the campers into two opposing teams…_

_Let's see whose going to be on which team…personally I wonder whose going to make it to the merge and who isn't. You never know what's going to happen, even if many of the contestants are fan favorites and others are the most hated Total Drama contestants in history._

_But for the time being, nobody is going to be eliminated…but knowing the nature of the show this is going to change shortly, as you will find out._

**Chapter 2: Assigning Teams**

Blaineley was once again standing outside on the docks, explaining what had happened in the previous chapter. Why you may ask? Because she was a big fan of exposition, and therefore wanted everything to know what was happening in the show.

"I bet you're looking for a recap, are you not? Blame those lousy commercial breaks! Nobody loves them! Anyways, now where was I? Ah yes…in the last chapter, I introduced all twenty-two campers that would be competing this season…" explained Blaineley.

"It took ages and ages…and suffice to say I felt really exhausted after I was finally finished, so I decided to use my trusty hot tub. But guess what…apparently someone was already using it…he kept yelling at me about some fanfic being horrible and that he wanted it to be deleted off of . I had to use my bodyguards to take him away! What is his problem? Sheesh."

"Anyways, in this episode, I'm going to assign the campers two different teams. Maybe if I'm lucky, they'll beat the crud out of each other. But that's probably just wishful thinking. For the time being, they are currently having lunch in the mess hall, so I guess I better go get them. Until then, you can listen to the Total Drama Theme Song that keeps getting stuck in your heads. I hope your eardrums don't explode."

*one theme song later*

As it turns out, the campers were in fact eating lunch at the Mess Hall. For some reason, Chef's food never seemed to taste too good. It was rather unfortunate that he was the only chef on the island. Our campers began to wonder if he had ever graduated from culinary school.

"If there's one thing I hate about this show, it's the lousy cooking." stated Gwen.

"I don't see why you're complaining, Gwen. This food is delicious! I could eat it every single day…which is fitting considering that we're going to be spending so much time here." exclaimed Owen.

"Personally, I think Chef's cooking is better than the rations I always get at military school." agreed Brick.

"Says you." retorted Heather.

**Confessional: Chef's cooking is not something that you want to eat, contrary to what Owen and Brick have to say. I wouldn't eat it even if it was covered with ketchup and mustard! Or salt or pepper!**

**Chef: It's true, I never did graduate from culinary school! In fact, all I ever got was Fs!*he begins to sob***

Suddenly, Blaineley came into the mess hall.

"It's time for you all to be assigned into-wait hold on I seem to be getting a phone call." stated Blaineley, who began to wonder who was calling."

"_Hello. I'm looking for someone named Boifrend. First name Anita." _ explained the caller, who mysteriously was chuckling underneath his breath.

"That's weird. Hey everyone! Anita Boifrend! C'mon! Anita Boifrend!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Immediately, all the campers began to laugh. In fact, some of them even fell out of their seats. It was just that funny.

"I bet you do! Maybe you should go to a dating website!" answered Izzy.

"Wait a minute…" Blaineley said, realizing that she had been prank phone called. "Listen to me you rotten weasel, when I catch you, I'm going to freaking kill you! With a freaking chainsaw! You got that?!"

As she did so, Duncan (who was in the confessional) immediately chuckled to himself. She had fallen for it so easily.

**Confessional: Don't try that at home…or you'll get arrested! And you'll go to jail! And you'll get a criminal record! Basically you'll be in strife.**

**Duncan: *snickering* That was totally worth it.**

**Dakota: I wonder who prank phone called Blaineley…maybe we should give them a high five.**

**Blaineley: *she is holding out a picture with a skull and crossbones on it* Your days are numbered, prank phone caller!**

**Chef: What's so funny? Why are the campers laughing? Did I forget to shave this morning? Oh wait, I don't think I have that much hair to begin with…**

"Now then, please forgive me for that outburst. As you are no doubt aware, I am going to assign you into two teams. Unless you want to be voted off, I suggest that you work together with your teammates and try not to get on their nerves." explained Blaineley.

All the campers nodded in agreement.

"Now then, I'm going to give you this hat. I've placed in two different kinds of coin inside of different colors…they will determine what team you're assigned on." continued Blaineley.

Curious, Owen decided to reach into the hat. He pulled out a red coin with Blaineley's face on it.

"I've got a red coin." stated the fat teenager.

"Good. That means you're on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot."

"Didn't Alejandro come up with a similar team name last season?" questioned Tyler.

"I sure did. Only it was Chris Is Really Really Really Hot." answered Alejandro.

"In my opinion, Chris is as ugly as sin." stated Blaineley.

**Confessional: If he really is ugly, then maybe it's a good thing he's behind bars. Of course, maybe Chef should be behind bars too. His horrible food is probably poisonous.**

**Blaineley: *she is holding out a picture of Chris with horns and a goatee on it* Maybe I should use a picture of him as a dartboard. That would be a good way to pass the time.**

Scott reached into the hat, and pulled out a blue coin with Bridgette's face on it…that for some reason was crossed out.

"I got a blue coin." said the devious teenager.

"That means you're on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself." explained Blaineley.

"I heard that!" exclaimed Chef.

_Meanwhile at the aftermath studio…_

"Is something the matter, Bridge?" asked Geoff.

"Nothing, I just can't help but think that Blaineley is making fun of me on her show." answered Bridgette. "What did I ever do to her?"

"I wouldn't worry about it. It's probably not a big deal. She just needs to grow up and act her age for a change. If she doesn't, I might have to reveal embarrassing secrets about her again!" answered Geoff.

"I hope you're right. I can't help but shake the feeling she still has a grudge against me." pointed out Bridgette. "I just hope that she doesn't send me off to Antarctica again. I nearly froze to death!"

_Back to our happy campers…_

Gwen reached into the hat and pulled out a red coin.

"I guess that means you'll be on the same team as Owen." stated the hostess.

"Huh. I feel a sense of déjà vu." said Gwen.

Zoey reached into the hat and pulled out a red coin.

"I hope I'm on the same team as Mike." hoped Zoey.

"We'll see about that." answered Blaineley.

Mike reached into the hat and pulled out a red coin. Zoey immediately cheered.

"Yes!" squealed Zoey.

"Today's my lucky day." thought Mike.

Lightning reached into the hat…and pulled out a blue coin.

"No way! Lightning is not going to be on the same team as that cretin Scott!" exclaimed Lightning.

**Confessional: Poor Lightning. Blaineley isn't giving him a break, is she?**

**Scott: *snickering* Let's see who I can get voted off before the finals…**

**Lightning: I should give Scott a wedgie. That should teach him!**

**Chef: Am I really that ugly?**

"Too bad! You pulled the same color coin as he did so you're working with him whether you like it or not!" yelled Blaineley.

"He doesn't even work with others! All he does is sabotage his own team and then persuade his "teammates" to vote someone else off instead of him!" shouted Lightning.

"If that happens, you can always vote Scott off. Now don't argue with me unless you want to be automatically eliminated! Speaking of which, I came up with a new method to kick you guys off the show during the bonfire ceremonies…" argued Blaineley.

Heather reached into the hat and pulled out a blue coin.

"Ugh! Now I'm going to have to work with ugly people!" exclaimed Heather.

"Boohoo for you." retorted the hostess.

Alejandro reached into the hat…and he ended up getting a blue coin as well.

"You can't put me on this team! I'm not ugly!" exclaimed the handsome contestant.

**Confessional: Isn't it ironic that two of the prettiest contestants are on such an ugly team?**

**Heather: *she is pouting***

**Alejandro: Does this mean I won't be able to use my good looks to my advantage? I wonder…**

"Too bad for you." answered Blaineley.

Dawn reached into the hat… and she ended up pulling out a red coin.

"Funny, that's what I predicted." she said.

"Save your oracle nonsense for later! I don't want to hear it! It's not like anything you say ever comes true…" Blaineley exclaimed.

"Take it easy." stated Dawn.

B also reached into the hat…and pulled out a red coin. Dawn immediately smiled.

**Confessional: Who's going to end up on which team?**

**Dawn: I'm just glad that I'm not on the same team as Scott…I still have nightmares about being in that foul-smelling garbage bag because of him.**

**B: *he is giving the thumbs-up***

Courtney reached into the hat…and pulled out a blue coin. She wasn't too happy.

"I am not ugly! I command you to let me on the red team where the hot people are!" demanded Courtney.

"Actually Courtney, a surprising amount of people find you to be as ugly as Medusa herself. Let's hope you don't turn us to stone." retorted Blaineley.

"Aargh! I'll get you for this!" screamed Courtney.

Ezekiel reached into the hat…and pulled out a blue coin.

"Please don't vote me off first. I'll do anything! I'll give you my hat! I'll give you my lucky horseshoe!" begged Ezekiel.

"I hope it doesn't come down to that." agreed Zoey. It was never fun to be eliminated first. Just look at what happened to Staci.

**Confessional: Ezekiel is CragmiteBlaster's favorite character. If you don't know him, feel free to read his fics!**

**Ezekiel: No really! I don't want to get voted off first! Is that too much to ask for? I just want to get another shot at the game…**

**Dakota: I feel sorry for Ezekiel…I had to take the hurl of shame three times! I guess I know how he feels…**

Sierra reached into the hat…and pulled out a blue coin.

"Yes! I'm going to be with Cody!" exclaimed Sierra.

"Oh no…" thought Cody. Why did this always happen to him?

"Lucky you." replied Gwen sarcastically.

Dakota reached into the hat and pulled out a red coin.

"Yes!" exclaimed Dakota.

"Now let's hope that you don't transform into a mutant again and cause destruction all across the island. By the way, how did you ever get cured of your condition, anyway?" asked Blaineley.

"Erm…well you see…" answered Dakota.

FLASHBACK

"_Alright, we're going to try out these different chemicals until you're back to your normal self. Granted, we don't know how half of them work…but one of them is bound to turn you back to normal." stated one of the scientists._

_The scientists then began pouring the potions on Dakotazoid…which had varying effects, but did not produce a successful result._

"_Bawk bawk bawk!" stated Dakota who was now a giant chicken._

"_Nope, that didn't work." answered one of the scientists._

_They then tried another formula, which transformed Dakota into a pig._

"_Oink oink oink!" she exclaimed._

"_Do all of these turn people into farm animals?" inquired the head scientist._

"_Well there's one that transforms people into The Thing…and another that transforms people into the Incredible Hulk…" pointed out another scientist._

"_Hey everyone! I found something!" shouted one of the scientists._

_Curious, they discovered that he was holding a potion…it said "Use To Cure Mutants"._

"_Why didn't we use this one before?" answered the head scientist._

"_I don't know, why didn't we? It was just lying there in plain sight out on the shelf." asked another scientist._

_The head scientist poured the potion on Dakota, causing her to turn back to normal._

"_Yes! I'm finally cured! You are miracle workers! Thank thank thank you so much!" exclaimed Dakota._

"_Now let's hope this doesn't happen again the next time you decide to compete on Total Drama Island." answered another scientist._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"That's a rather strange story." pointed out Sam as he reached into the hat. He pulled out yet another red coin. "Huh, this must be my lucky day."

"It sure is!" exclaimed Dakota.

Brick reached into the hat and discovered that he was on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself.

"Well, it's better me than my comrades." stated the cadet.

Lindsay reached into the hat and pulled out a red coin.

"Darn it! I was hoping she would end up on Team Bridgette." thought Blaineley.

"Yes! Thank you so much for letting me on this team, Stanley!" exclaimed Lindsay.

"My name is Blaineley! And that's a boy's name you stupid idiot!" screamed the hostess.

"Hey! Don't call my girlfriend stupid!" demanded Tyler.

"Sure thing, doofus." she retorted.

Izzy reached into the hat and pulled out a blue coin.

"Aww, I was hoping to be on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot." she complained.

"Too bad! I think you're an inhuman freak just like Bridgette anyway!" she exclaimed.

"Hey! Don't call her a freak! She used to be my girlfriend!" demanded Owen.

"Thanks Owen." answered Izzy.

Blaineley simply sighed.

**Confessional: Only a few more selections to go before we can get this season over with.**

**Dawn: Funny, this reminds me of the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter. Speaking of which, I just love that book series!**

**Cameron: I wonder what team I'm going to end up on…I just hope that I'm not on the same team as Lightning.**

"Cameron, you're finally up." answered Blaineley.

Cameron reached into the sorting hat, and he pulled out a red coin.

"Yes…now I won't be on the same team as Lightning. Maybe that way I won't have to worry about getting a wedgie…" he said.

"Wrong!" stated Lightning, who immediately snuck behind the boy and gave him another wedgie.

"Aargh! Not again! This really hurts! Somebody help me!" he exclaimed.

"You really need to stop doing that. It's not funny, you know." stated Gwen.

"I think it's funny." answered Heather.

"Duncan, seeing though Cameron took the last red token, it looks like you're going to be on Team Bridgette." stated Blaineley.

"Fair enough." Duncan stated.

**Confessional: Did you notice a bit of a pattern in the teammates?**

**Zoey: I wonder what our first challenge is going to be?**

**Scott: Now to sabotage my own team so that I won't have to worry about them in the merge…heh heh.**

**Ezekiel: I'm going to be the first one voted off, aren't I?**

"Now that I've gotten the teams underway, feel free to go to your cabins. I'll call you for the first challenge soon enough." stated Blaineley.

Unsurprisingly, the Team Blaineley cabin was nice and neat, while the Team Bridgette cabin looked rundown and looked like it was going to collapse soon. It was if Blaineley was trying to make Bridgette look bad in as many ways as possible. She certainly was not fond of her.

"I want a better cabin!" demanded Courtney.

"Don't we all." agreed Heather.

"It's not like I'm going to be sleeping in there anyway." pointed out Ezekiel.

"Why are you so cynical? Cheer up!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Why should I? Everyone knows you're going to vote me off first anyway…it's the same every time! I'm lucky that I even got onto this season anyway." murmured Ezekiel.

**Confessional: Ezekiel is done for…or is he? Dun dun dun!**

**Courtney: I'm a princess! Blaineley can't do this to me!**

**Brick: I wonder how Team Blaineley is doing in their cabin…**

_If you're curious, the teams are as follows just to make sure that you don't forget…because I know I might._

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Gwen, Dakota, Sam, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Courtney, Heather, Duncan, Brick, Alejandro, Scott, Cody, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy**

_So, what do you think the first challenge is going to be? I'm all up for your ideas to be honest…I'd like to hear from you guys and see if you've got anything to say about the subject. Surely you'd have a thing or do to say to me about this fic whether you hate it (like James does) or love it._

_Like I said before, feel free to leave suggestions in your reviews…just don't put it any suggestions I've used already because that would be repetitive…you're not a bunch of parrots are you?_

_In the next chapter, our heroes are going to be saving a princess…or at least they're going to be doing a parody of that particular genre…bring out the fiery dragon!_


	3. Day 1: Dungeons and Death

Total Drama Insanity

_Well, so far I've gotten some pretty positive reviews…granted, I've only received a few so far so I hope I'll be able to get more of them if I keep updating the story._

_But for the time being, things are beginning to get interesting. The first challenge is going to start soon…and shortly after that there's going to be the first bonfire ceremony… Who do you think is going to get voted off first? It's going to depend on which team loses the challenge…_

**Chapter 3: Dungeons and Death**

Scott was once again plotting against his fellow contestants. What was he up to you ask? As it turns out, he was once again planning to sabotage his own team and make them lose the challenge. However, there was someone who did not approve of this.

"Maybe if I'm lucky this time, I'll actually end up winning. Yeah, that'll show them!" stated Scott.

"Hey you! Yeah you!" exclaimed someone.

"Who's there?" asked Scott.

"I'm in your head! I'm your conscience! Listen, you can't just go around and sabotage your own team to make them lose challenges! It's not fair to them at all!" exclaimed the conscience, who curiously resembled an old man.

"Who cares? And why are you an old man? Shouldn't you be a cricket?" inquired Scott.

"Those are for puppets that don't know right and wrong! And you are not a ventriloquist dummy…at least not from where I'm standing. Anyways, I command you not to sabotage your own team!" exclaimed the conscience.

"Whatever. I'm not listening to you. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go back to plotting against my own team. Maybe if I'm lucky I can dispose of Lightning…with him gone things are bound to get a lot easier for me. Or maybe I should get rid of Izzy…of course, I could just call the RCMP and get her arrested. Wouldn't that be nice." he said.

The conscience peeled his white hair out in frustration.

"This is going to cost you, Scott! You remember what happened the last time you tried playing the game dishonestly, don't you? It wasn't a lot of fun for you, now was it?" inquired the conscience.

Scott immediately gulped, remembering the time he had spent in the trauma chair.

"I assume you don't want that to happen to you again, do you? I assure you if you keep on being a jerk to others, you're going to experience pain. And lots of it." retorted the conscience.

"Whatever. I'm through talking with you." answered Scott.

**Confessional: Scott should listen to his conscience more often. Too bad he's not a good listener.**

**Scott: So what if my conscience says that I should play the game fairly? What does he know! He's just a stupid old man who probably sleeps all day.**

**Cameron: I heard Scott talking to himself…has he gone crazy from his time during the Trauma Chair or something? Or is he just lonely? I'm not sure.**

_In the boys side of the Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot…_

"It feels nice to be in a cabin like this. Shame that the other team didn't get a fancy cabin though. I think Blaineley is being biased…" stated Cameron.

"I know, right? I think Blaineley must like me." answered Owen, pointing to the picture of him on the wall.

B examined the picture of Owen, and noticed that there was a signature on it. Apparently, Blaineley had actually made the picture herself.

Sam was simply playing one of his video games. Unfortunately, he was having a hard time.

"Ugh! This game is hard! I'm starting to feel like throwing my controller against the wall…I wonder if I should get one of my friends to play with me…then again they might not be into video games like I am." he said to himself.

**Confessional: Have you ever felt like hurling your controller against the wall? I know you probably have…**

**Sam: You know it's funny, Blaineley picked 13 guy contestants but only nine girls for this season…maybe she's looking for a boyfriend or something?**

**Owen: I wonder if there's a picture in the girl's cabin too…not like I want to go in there…heh heh.**

_Meanwhile in the girl's cabin…_

Dawn was busy meditating like always, trying to breathe in the air around her. Naturally, the other girls began to take notice.

"Why do you think she does that?" asked Gwen.

Dakota shrugged. "I don't know. She did it all the time back when we were in Season 4."

"Maybe it helps her focus? Personally I wonder if I should start doing it…" answered Zoey.

"Ah yes…for some strange reason, Chris decided to call the season Total Drama: Revenge of the Island…I wonder why?" questioned Lindsay.

"Maybe because he wanted to do more horrible things to innocent people…" she thought, remembering how she and most of the other campers were hurled off the island using a catapult.

"Ah yes…being a mutant wasn't pleasant at all. And I ended up losing all my hair too… I'm just glad that I'm finally back to normal and my hair grew back…" Dakota answered.

**Confessional: It's no fun being bald…isn't that right Nakia?**

**Lindsay: I wonder if things are going to be a bit different now that Blaineley is in charge. She can't be as sadistic as Chris…can she?**

**Dakota: I hope Blaineley isn't keeping any nuclear waste around…I really don't want to be a mutant again.**

**Dawn: Chris needs to stop polluting the environment…it's not a good idea to mess around with mother nature. If we're unlucky he might end up creating treants or something…**

_On the boys side of the Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself Cabin…_

Ezekiel was begging to his lord and savior not to be voted off first, or end up becoming a Gollum-like being. Of course, considering what the hosts of Total Drama Island were alike, they would probably rig the competition so that Ezekiel would deliberately end up that way.

"In your dreams, farm boy. Everyone knows that I'm going to win this season…and none of you is going to stop me!" taunted Scott.

"No taunting your own teammates!" demanded Scott's conscience.

"Shut up!" demanded Scott.

"Did you just tell me to shut up?!" screamed Brick, who began cracking his knuckles.

"Um…no." stated the ginger hick.

"Good answer." replied Brick.

"I heard about what happened to you last season...apparently, you were sent in the Trauma Chair for your atrocities...personally I feel a rather odd sense of deja vu." spoke Alejandro.

"Lightning thought it was funny! In fact, it was the funniest thing to ever happen on television!" Lightning exclaimed.

"Ah yes. I heard that Revenge of the Island killed in the ratings…you think it had anything to do with it?" nodded Duncan.

"You thought it was funny, did you? I'd like to see how you'd feel if you were in that crummy metal box! I had to pay an enormous medical bill to get out of it, too! That stupid mutant shark…" grumbled Scott.

**Confessional: Will Ezekiel be the first contestant voted off once again?**

**Ezekiel: I'll do anything for you…just don't make me be voted off first! Is that too much to ask?**

**Scott: *he shudders at the thought of once again being in the trauma chair***

**Duncan: Maybe I should watch the last episode of Total Drama Revenge of the Island…then again I'm not too happy that Lightning won…**

**Lightning: *he is flexing his muscles to the camera***

_In the girls side of the cabin…_

"Aargh! Why are they treating me like this! I demand to get a better cabin than this dump!" bellowed Courtney.

"You don't see me complaining." retorted Heather. "Although granted it would be nice to be on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Hot…of course then I'd have to put up with Gwen…"

"What did she ever do to you?" asked Sierra.

"Hey, where's Izzy?" asked Courtney.

As it turns out, she was running outdoors, trying to chase a butterfly.

"Sometimes I just don't understand her." stated Heather.

**Confessional: Courtney sure is awfully demanding, isn't she?**

**Izzy: You can't get away from me, butterfly! I'll catch you if it's the last thing I'll ever do!**

**Butterfly: *he is holding a small sign saying "You'll never get me alive!"***

**Sierra: I wonder why she wants to catch that butterfly anyway? Did it do something to her or something? Or does she just like capturing insects?**

Shortly after the contestants had gotten accustomed to their new cabins, they heard the horn that signaled the start of a challenge.

"Meet me at the docks!" demanded Blaineley.

Our heroes immediately got out of their cabins and went towards the docks, where naturally the hostess was waiting for them.

"It's time for our first challenge! You're probably expecting this one to be easy, aren't you?" she asked.

The contestants simply shrugged. The first challenges always seemed to subvert their expectations.

"I decided that for this challenge it should be something simple…so all you have to do this challenge…is save a princess from a dragon!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"A princess from a what?" inquired Sam.

"Surely you've played video games of that genre, have you not?" inquired the hostess.

"It seems to be all the rage, actually." answered the hardcore gamer.

"Now then…let's see whose going to be the princess, shall we?" asked Blaineley. "For Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot…aka my favorite team…they'll be trying to save…"

A drumroll was heard. The campers began to wonder where it was coming from.

"Zoey!"

Zoey simply shrugged. She always seemed to have a knack for getting into trouble.

"Good luck out there, you guys." answered the Indie Chick.

"As for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself…which I hope is completely wiped out before the merge like Team Victory was...their princess that they're going to rescue is…"

Another drumroll was heard. Once again, the campers began to wonder where the music was coming from.

"Courtney!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"You better make it quick!" the "princess" exclaimed.

**Confessional: Not all princesses are pure of soul, apparently.**

**Zoey: Personally, I'm hoping that Mikey is going to rescue me…but I suppose I'll accept anyone really. Beggers can't be choosers.**

**Courtney: Blaineley sucks! I'm probably going to have wait an hour and a half or so in some dungeon! Ugh!**

"Can I stop drumrolling now? I'm getting tired and I need to make dinner for the contestants after the challenge is over." asked Chef.

"You are excused." nodded Blaineley. Anyways, let me explain the rules to you. Like I said, this challenge is simple. All you have to do is be the first one to rescue your princess…in other words, I'd suggest that you try to save her as soon as possible. Just watch out for the monsters and the traps…if they get you, you're going to have to go all the way back to the beginning of the dungeon."

"Suffice to say that will really slow you down and therefore will give the opposing team a lot of time to rescue their princess first, and I doubt you want that. Now then, I want you to put on these holographic helmets so that you can literally get your head into the game…and the rest of your bodies for that matter." Blaineley explained.

The campers all did as Blaineley instructed, and they instantly found themselves warped into what appeared to be a dungeon.

**Confessional: Time for an old-fashioned dungeon crawl.**

**Sam: *he is now dressed like a fighter* Funny, I've actually played Dungeons and Dragons before…I never thought I'd end up going inside a dungeon and slaying monsters for real though.**

**Dakota: *she is now dressed like a sorceress* This outfit is rather impractical. Why are the sleeves detached? Why is it baring my midriff? And why isn't it falling down? On second thought, I probably shouldn't ask the last one.**

**Lightning: *he is now dressed like a barbarian* Lightning smash puny goblins! And other puny creatures! Especially a puny dragon!**

**Cameron: *he is now dressed like a cleric* I guess I'm supposed to be the party healer…let's hope that my teammates don't hurt themselves too much.**

**Brick: *he is now dressed like a paladin* This is rather ironic…some of my friends say that I'm a defender of righteousness. I guess they were right.**

**Duncan: *he is now dressed like a rogue* I guess my job is to steal things now…not like I have any problems with that…**

**Dawn: *she is now dressed like an archer* I'm not sure if I'm going to be good at aiming…I might accidentally shoot my friends…**

**B: *he is now dressed like a monk* *he starts performing several karate moves***

**Lindsay: *she is now a bard* Am I supposed to sing a song or something? Because the only song I know is Friday…**

_On Team Blaineley Is Really Really Hot's side of the dungeon…_

"Where are we?" asked Mike.

"It looks like we're in some sort of dark dungeon…" Lindsay stated.

"I can understand that Lindsie…it's part of the challenge, after all. I just wish we had a map of some kind…" stated Tyler.

Soon enough, our heroes found a map of the dungeon inside a nearby treasure chest. Apparently, the dragon was all the way at the bottom, so they needed to look for some staircases.

"I had a feeling that it would be all the way down there…that's how a dungeon typically works after all. The only problem now is getting to the bottom before the other team does." answered Sam.

"We've got company!" warned Dakota.

Soon enough several goblins rushed towards them, carrying clubs in their green hands. Judging from the wicked grins on their faces, they were planning on whacking them all like piñatas.

Thankfully, goblins were rather weak creatures, and therefore our heroes had little trouble disposing of them. They had a feeling there were more monsters inside the dungeon however.

**Confessional: Goblins are little more than cannon fodder for adventurers, really. Unless you're roleplaying as one…**

**Dakota: Why are goblins so ugly? You'd think that Blaineley would make them prettier considering how vain she is…but I suppose she simply decided to design them that way.**

**Sam: I wonder where the staircase is? It's got to be around here somewhere…**

**Lindsay: People say that goblins are dumb…of course people always seem to call me stupid as well…maybe I'm secretly half-goblin? *she shrugs***

_On Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's side of the dungeon…_

"Hmph, this dungeon is going to be a cakewalk. I just know it." answered Duncan.

"Try not to get overly confident, you guys. You remember what Blaineley said, don't you?" warned Cody.

"Yeah yeah yeah, about us all getting sent back to the beginning when we die. Not like that's going to happen to me…" Heather stated.

"Everyone knows that I'm too good-looking to die!" exclaimed Alejandro.

"Uh-huh, sure." retorted Duncan.

Suddenly, Cody ended up walking into a pitfall.

"Aah!" yelled the boy as he fell to his doom.

"Cody!" screamed Sierra.

Thankfully, since they were still at the beginning of the dungeon, he walked back up to them just a few minutes later.

"I've got to be more careful." noted Cody.

**Confessional: It's a trap!**

**Cody: It's times like this when I wish I had wings…not like that would help me get away from Sierra.**

**Sierra: How could you do this to Cody, Blaineley! I hate you!**

**Blaineley: *she is chuckling evilly* Being a dungeon master is so much fun!**

_Back to Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Ug-I mean Really Really Really Really Hot…_

Our heroes found themselves facing a rather big…and ugly obstacle.

"If you want to get across this bridge, you're going to have to pay me over nine thousand gold!" demanded the angry troll.

As it turns out, our heroes were trying to cross a wooden bridge over boiling lava…however the guard wasn't making things easy for them.

"But we don't have that kind of money!" exclaimed Dawn.

"Too bad then! Get out of my sight!" demanded the troll.

"Should I body slam him? I have the bulk to do so…" inquired Owen.

"That's probably not a good idea, I heard that trolls can regenerate from wounds…unless of course you use fire or acid." answered Sam.

"Can't we just toss him into the lava?" inquired Dakota.

"But trolls are super-strong! If we tried doing that, we might end up in the lava instead!" warned Cameron.

"And then we'd end up like the Wicked Witch of the West." pointed out Tyler.

"What are we going to do then?" asked Mike.

Suddenly, Lindsay of all people came up with an idea.

"Can you please let us across the bridge? Pretty please?" asked the blonde.

The troll must have been rather lecherous, because he immediately began drooling upon seeing the pretty cheerleader.

"Hey! Stay away from my girlfriend!" Tyler demanded.

The ferocious humanoid growled at the jock, forcing him to remain silent.

"Sure, I have a thing for pretty girls, so go on right ahead." answered the brute.

"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be." noted Sam.

Unfortunately for our heroes, the bridge across the lava turned out to be rather rickety, and soon enough one of our unfortunate heroes fell in.

"Nooo!" screamed Cameron as one of the boards collapsed.

"Cameron!" our other heroes screamed.

"I'm melting…" the nerd stated the obvious as he was engulfed by the lava.

"This is just perfect. Now we're going to have to adventure without a healer. Who's going to return us to health the next time we encounter a powerful monster?" pointed out Gwen.

"You're right, Gwen. Without a healer we're up a creek without a paddle…and besides, healers are great at taking out undead…" agreed Sam.

Suffice to say, things didn't look too well for Team Blaineley Was Really Really Hot.

**Confessional: Oh, what a world!**

**Cameron: That lava bath was hot…in fact, it was even hotter than Blaineley herself. *he chuckles nervously***

**Dakota: I wonder if Team Bridgette has lost their healer yet…if not we might be in trouble.**

_Time to check on Team Bridgette Is Ugly As Chef Himself…_

"Oh great, there are ogres up ahead…" stated Heather. "Ugh…and I thought Owen was ugly…"

"Lightning demands you to let us pass!" bellowed Lightning.

One of the ogres responded by farting directly in the jock's face.

"My nose! It burns!" he screamed, covering his nose as he did so.

The ogre then followed by sitting on top of the adventurer, trapping him underneath the massive blob.

"Noooooo!" exclaimed Lightning as he suffocated due to the lack of oxygen.

"Shouldn't we have done something to help him?" inquired Brick.

"To be honest, I'm rather glad that he's gone." answered Heather.

Suddenly, Izzy pulled out a spear and started stabbing the ogres in the stomachs like some sort of savage warrior…this proved to be surprisingly effective due to how fat they were and before long they were all dead.

"I think I understand why Blaineley made her a barbarian…remind me not to get on her bad side." stated Ezekiel.

"Maybe I should try to seduce her…but seeing though she's a lunatic that might not work…" thought Alejandro.

Unbeknownst to the adventuring party, Scott had slipped away from the party in order to plot how to sabotage them.

"Hmm…how should I sabotage my team this time? They all seem to be working together so well…" he thought.

"What did I tell you about sabotaging your own team?!" bellowed Scott's conscience.

"Oh it's you again. Back to telling me not to do evil things, are we? You do realize that's like telling a bird not to fly or telling a fish not to swim, am I right?" he inquired.

"Why do you never listen to me! You have ears for a reason you know!" retorted the conscience.

"Because I don't feel like listening to you, you're just a stupid old man who needs to visit a retirement home. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to open up that treasure chest right over there." answered Scott.

"Don't open that! It might be a trap!" screamed the conscience.

"Says you." he replied.

Unfortunately for him, it did turn out to be a trap, as the ginger discovered when it began to leak poisonous gas.

"Why does it smell so funny all of a sudden?" inquired Scott.

He then died shortly afterward, and found himself back at the beginning of the dungeon.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" yelled Scott's conscience.

**Confessional: To answer Scott's question, splitting the party is a great way to end a dungeon run prematurely.**

**Lightning: Lightning should have brought a nose peg…**

**Scott: My conscience is like an insect…his only goal in life is to annoy everyone he can…including me.**

**Izzy: Yeah! Those fat ogres are no match for me! Funnily enough they remind me a bit of Owen…oh well.**

_Once again, we're going to check on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot…_

Our heroes found themselves trying to cross what appeared to be a forest…but what was a forest doing inside a dungeon? Then again our heroes never knew what they were going to encounter next…

"I'm confused…" stated Tyler.

"Personally, I'm glad for the change of scenery…I just love trees after all." stated Dawn, who began walking over to one.

Unfortunately for Dawn, the tree suddenly came to life.

"Aah!" she screamed.

"Treants!" bellowed Sam.

B tried to save her, but the other trees came to life as well and began throwing coconuts at him. Before long he was crushed to death underneath their milky goodness.

As for Dawn, the tree did something rather ironic…it grabbed her and then snapped her just like a twig.

"Noooo!" exclaimed Sam.

"Sheesh, we're all been dying so fast ever since we lost Cameron to that lava…." stated Gwen. "Who's going to be next? Then again it's probably going to be me…"

Thankfully, our heroes were able to chop down the trees…(or in Dakota's case, set them on fire), and were able to keep on moving forward.

**Confessional: When trees attack!**

**Dawn: How could they do this to me? What did I ever do to them? *sighs***

**B: *he is rubbing his head from being hit by so many coconuts***

_I bet you want to see how Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is doing, am I correct? That's what I thought…_

"Has anyone seen Scott?" asked Ezekiel.

"It's not like anybody cared about him." answered Heather.

"Good point." answered Lightning.

Suddenly, he noticed what appeared to be a demon…and a rather pretty one at that.

"Um, hello?" asked Cody.

The more our heroes looked at the demon, the more pretty it seemed to become. Personally, Alejandro thought it was ripping off his style, and therefore decided to stay away from it. Cody, on the other hand…

"Oh my gosh! You're so pretty! You're even hotter than Blaineley!" he exclaimed, no longer able to resist her charms.

The succubus simply smiled.

"Please marry me! You are so hot!" he exclaimed.

The succubus simply chuckled.

For a while, it seemed that they were actually hitting it off, which infuriated Sierra to no end. Unfortunately for Cody, the succubus eventually grew tired of playing around with him, and suddenly she set him on fire.

"Aargh! I'm on fire!" he exclaimed.

"Get some water!" ordered Ezekiel.

Unfortunately, it was too late for him, and he was eventually reduced to ash from the terrible heat from the flames. Sierra was not too happy.

"I'll kill you!" the purple-haired clingy jealous girl screamed, lunging towards the succubus.

The succubus was caught off-guard, and therefore Sierra was eventually able to gain the upper hand after a brief struggle…and eventually she was banished back towards the plane she came from.

"And that's why nobody messes with Codykins!" she screamed.

**Confessional: Remind me not to harm Cody in the near future.**

**Cody: Wow…Sierra must really be protective of me…**

**Sierra: *she is snarling in rage***

**Blaineley: Serves that stupid succubus right! Nobody is hotter than me! Nobody!**

**Remaining Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot Adventurers: Tyler, Lindsay, Mike, Gwen, Dakota, Sam, Owen**

**Remaining Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself Adventurers: Alejandro, Heather, Ezekiel, Sierra, Duncan, Izzy, Brick**

_Well, since I didn't want to keep you guys waiting, I decided to split this chapter into two parts…but since a bunch of other Total Drama Island authors I know also do that it's probably not a big deal. After all, I haven't yet received too many suggestions to this story since I haven't gotten many reviews yet..._

_But how are you enjoying this dungeon-crawling escapade so far? So far both teams seem to be getting a lot smaller…at this rate, only one of them is going to reach the dragon…if that happens, can they defeat the dragon solo? And can they save the princess? You'll find out in the next chapter…and of course you'll get to find out who gets voted off first. Believe me, they're probably going to deserve it…_

_So just kick and back and relax while I continue writing for this story…_


	4. Day 1: The Dragonslayer

Total Drama Insanity

In this chapter, our heroes are going to continue playing Dungeons and Dragons using a simulation...who will slay the dragon first? Will be it Team Blaineley? Or will it be Team Bridgette?

Chapter 4: Dragonslayer

"Welcome back to Total Drama." greeted Blaineley. "In the last episode, I just sent the campers into a dungeon filled with evil monsters...and right now several of them have already died. But before you go around sueing me for murdering the contestants, I'll have you know that they're safe and sound...but unfortunately they were sent back to the beginning to the dungeon and I don't think they'll be able to regroup with their teammates..." Blaineley explained.

"Let's just hope that one of the teams gets a total party kill...now that would be hilarious! At least, I think that would be funny. Personally, I'm hoping that Team Bridgette will end up this way...since you all know how much I hate her...I don't know about you though...but who cares about your opinion? Anyways, let's get back to them now..."

Time to see how Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is doing...

Once again, our heroes (well, some of our heroes) found themselves facing another deadly obstacle that would end up costing them the life of one of their teammates. In this case, it was a shiny bracelet that was lying out in the open with no monsters nearby...suffice tosay it was obviously a trap.

But unfortunately, Lindsay did not catch on.

"Yay! Another one for my collection!" she squealed.

"Lindsay, no! It might be a t-"

Tyler was too late to save his girlfriend, as immediately she opened the chest and was skewered with several deadly arrows...Suffice to say it ended rather messily, and the blonde ended up back at the beginning.

"Noooo!" he screamed.

Sam placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Why?! Why do I always have to go through these cruel challenges! Why?!" screamed the jock, upset about the loss about his girlfriend.

"Blame Blaineley, she's a witch." answered Gwen.

Confessional: Lindsay should have been more careful.

Dakota: I may be blonde...but I'm not stupid. Lindsay seems to be a walking blonde stereotype if you ask me though...

Tyler: I'll get you for this, Blaineley!

Blaineley: Goodbye and good riddance, I say.

Time to see if Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself are going to have any more mishaps...

Team Bridgette saw who their next foe is going to be...and immediately realized that they were in trouble. Standing before them was none other than Chuck Norris! Or rather a simulated version of him. Apparently, Blaineley didn't want Team Bridgette to win.

"This isn't fair! Chuck Norris isn't even a Dungeons and Dragons monster! Why did Blaineley even include him?" Sam screamed.

"Blaineley must naturally hate us." answered Heather.

Before any of the heroes could even react, Chuck Norris then snapped Ezekiel's neck.

"Run for it!" screamed Brick.

Thankfully, the rest of the team was able to escape...except for ironically Brick, who ended up being vaporized after Chuck Norris shot lasers out of his eyes.

"Oh c'mon!" screeched Ezekiel at Blaineley's blatant cheating as he went back to the beginning.

Confessional: Don't mess with Chuck Norris. He's invincible!

Ezekiel: This isn't fair, Blaineley! I don't think any of our attacks would have even scratched him...

Brick: Why isn't Blaineley giving us a chance?! Is it simply because he named our team after something we hate? I figure it's probably something petty...

Time to see who's going to die next in Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot...

"You know it's weird...ever since we crossed that troll bridge and Cameron melted in the lava...we seem to be losing a lot of party members..." stated Gwen. "I know that Blaineley wants to attract more viewers, but couldn't she go easy on us?"

"It's not like Chris ever cared about the contestants...in fact, I bet he's even greedier than Scrooge McDuck." Sam stated.

"At least he didn't leave around nuclear waste for people to stumble into..." Dakota shuddered.

"But if we're going to keep losing party members, then whose going to be next?" asked Tyler.

His question was answered when suddenly a cute little bunny rabbit stumbled right next to them.

"Aww...how cute." stated Dakota.

Suddenly, the bunny sank its toxic fangs into Tyler's neck, causing him to die rapidly due to blood loss and the fact that his virtual avatar could not tolerate that much venom.

"Was Blaineley running out of ideas?" he wondered as he went back to the start.

Thankfully, our remaining heroes were able to overcome the rabbit quite easily now that it had blown its cover...it was as if it was a cannon made out of glass.

"It must be humilating to be defeated by a rabbit." pointed out Owen.

"Mm-hmm...I guess now it's just the five of us..." answered Gwen.

"We better get to the dragon soon." agreed Mike.

Confessional: Rabbits in reality are essentially turning Australia into a wasteland.

Tyler: Really Blaineley? Do you have to humilate me like this? A killer bunny, really?

Chef: Maybe I should make some hasenpfeffer some time...those rabbits are dangerous. They're eating all the crops!

We now return to Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot...

"Funny, I think I can see the entrance to the dragon's lair up ahead..." stated Sam.

"Um...we've got a problem." warned Dakota.

As it turns out, a bunch of powerful monsters were close to the entrance...apparently they didn't want the adventurers to have a meeting with their master.

"What are we going to do?" asked Owen.

"Pray to Blaineley that we'll actually reach the dragon?" answered Gwen.

"Maybe one of us needs to attack the dragon while the others attack the monsters and keep them occupied...but which one of us should it be?" inquired Mike.

"Well, Zoey's your girlfriend...maybe you should rescue her." suggested the goth chick.

"You know, that's actually a great idea...maybe she'll make out with me afterwards!" answered Mike.

"Is that all you ever think about?" asked Dakota.

"You're probably thinking about making out with Sam as we speak, aren't you?" questioned Mike.

"What can I say? For a nerd he's a surprisingly good kisser..." answered the celeb.

"Do you really have to call me a nerd?" asked the geek.

"Sorry if I offended you." apologized his girlfriend.

"People do it all the time...anyways, let's get ready to rumble, shall we?" answered Sam.

And so the four heroes sacrificed themselves so that Mike could enter the Dragon's Lair and rescue his girlfriend...would it pay off in the end? Or would they have to start their dungeon run all over again?

You probably want to see Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot slay the dragon...but you can wait a little, can't you?

Team Bridgette as it turns out was also approaching the dragon's lair...however, they would not have as much luck as their Team Blaineley counterparts did...mainly due to the fact that Blaineley was rather biased towards the team that was named after her.

"We're doomed!" screamed Sierra.

And apparently they were. The overpowered monsters (ranging from Tarrasques to Beholders) wasted no time in attacking Team Bridgette. Not even Izzy could handle the impossible odds...although she did manage to kill a surprising amount of monsters.

But during the chaos, one member of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself managed to escape...and he would be the one to slay the dragon, as he was one of the greatest heroes in Total Drama history!

"Actually, a lot of people seem to think I'm a jerk." Duncan stated.

Well, you're the only hero we've got, so you'd better slay the dragon and make Courtney proud!

"I don't like her that much anyways." answered the bully.

But surely you want to win the challenge for the team?

"I wouldn't even mind being voted off first, to be quite frank with you. Although I do fact actually like my teammates to be honest with you...except Scott. But besides, I've already won season two..." pointed out Duncan.

Would you mind not breaking the fourth wall? I'm worried that I might get flamed again...

"What are you talking about?" he inquired.

Just hurry up and slay the dragon.

"Fine fine fine." the bully answered, entering the dragon's lair.

Breaking the fourth wall is fun...but I don't want to go overboard...that might attract James, and not even Blaineley likes him. Besides, don't you want to see Mike slay the dragon instead of me arguing?

Mike approached the dragon's lair. Unsurprisingly, it was decorated with treasure...why a dragon even needed that Dungeons and Dragons may never know...but it spelled jackpot for most players.

"Funny...I get the feeling that this is worth more than the prize money that Blaineley promised us...she must be tantalizing us or something." he murmured.

"Mike! You made it!" exclaimed Zoey, who was trapped inside a blue bubble.

"What can I say? Nothing can keep us apart!" answered Mike.

Immediately, he tried releasing his girlfriend from the bubble...but without much success.

"Um, I think you're supposed to slay the dragon first..." explained Zoey.

"But where is the dragon?" inquired Mike.

Suddenly, he heard a roaring noise, and the overgrown reptile stepped into the room.

"Well speak of Chris Maclean." he answered.

For some strange reason, the dragon loosely resembled Blaineley, and it was surprisingly beautiful...at least for a monster that wanted to turn him into barbecue.

"Blaineley is so vain. I get the feeling she based this dragon on herself." thought Mike.

The dragon breathed flames on Mike, but thankfully he blocked it with his shield. It then tried clawing at him, but he simply sidestepped.

"Yay! Go Mike! Kick that dragon's butt!" exclaimed Zoey.

Our hero responded by kicking the reptile in the tushie.

"I didn't mean that literally." answered the redhead.

"Lousy double entendres..." mumbled the teenage boy.

Unfortunately, this allowed the dragon to knock over Mike with a tail swipe. Due to his heavy armor, he was having a hard time standing back up.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! I knew I should have gotten Lifecare..." he noted.

This gave the dragon the opportunity to attack him with his fire breath, causing an enormous smoke cloud to appear.

"Nooo! Mike!" screamed Zoey.

The dragon roared triumphantly, and then went to sleep. It looked like nobody was going to rescue the princess...

But when the smoke cleared, Mike was still alive.

"Whew!" our damsel in distress exclaimed.

However, his heavy armor had been destroyed by the flames...he was now in his boxers, and therefore he was now shirtless.

"Oh no..." stated Zoey.

Suffice to say, Mike then went into his Vito personality...

"Graarghhh!" he roared.

Unsurprisingly, the dragon was overcome with surprise, which allowed Vito to gain the upper hand over the dragon. Blood rapidly spread throughout the treasury, along with dragon guts and other things I do not want to discuss in full detail.

"Ugh..." murmured the Indie chick, who for a moment felt like he wanted to hurl.

Fortunately, it was all over in just a few seconds...and the dragon didn't suffer much. The barrier that was imprisoning Zoey then disappeared.

"I knew you'd save me, Mike. I just knew it." she answered, giving her boyfriend a kiss.

"Zoey, when I find out who did this to you, I'm going to dip them in freaking acid! And then I'm going to defenestrate them for dressing you like some shameless flirt!" he bellowed.

"Er, Mike, this is part of the challenge, remember? And this is how I normally dress." answered Zoey.

Mike sweatdropped.

Confessional: Mike is now officially a dragonslayer!

Zoey: To be honest, sometimes Mike's multiple personality disorder embarrasses me...but what I can say! He's still my boyfriend!

Mike: That'll teach you to mess with my girlfriend, you stupid fat reptile!

I guess it's time for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself to step up to the plate...and perhaps make a dragon platebody from the dragon's hide or something, I dunno.

Duncan carefully scanned the area. He noticed that there was treasure in the dragon's cave...and part of him wished that it was real.

"Lousy simulation..." grumbled Duncan.

"There you are! Hurry up and get me out of this bubble already! I've been waiting for hours!" exclaimed Courtney.

"It's not like we've been dungeon crawling for that long...each episode of the show is supposed to be about thirty minutes or so...and that's with commercials. Wait, why am I even saying that?" he retorted.

Suddenly, the dragon entered the room...and boy was it ugly. And for some strange reason, it loosely resembled Bridgette.

"Really funny, Blaineley. Really funny. You simply can't bury the hatchet." stated Duncan.

The dragon roared, and then lunged toward him. He was too quick.

"Too slow, sister." answered the bully.

It then followed using its flame breath.

"Flames? How original." he retorted, easily dodging it like before.

Suffice to say, Duncan enjoyed toying with the dragon, watching it grow increasingly frustrated as it was unable to hit him. Being a rogue had its perks. At one point, he even decided to blow a raspberry. However, Courtney was not amused.

"I said, save me already! You're as slow as a turtle!" she bellowed.

"Fine then. Hey, dragon, what's that behind you?" he asked.

Curious, the dragon decided to see what was behind him as Duncan suggested...

...and ended up with several sharp knives in his back...as well as dead.

"Not as tough as you look, aren't you?" he taunted.

The bubble trapping Courtney disappeared, allowing her to go up to Duncan...

...and give him a slap on the face.

"Ouch! What's the big idea!" he stated.

"You are the worst dragonslayer ever! Even I could have done better than that!" exclaimed Courtney.

"Sheesh." muttered Duncan.

Confessional: Courtney's not very grateful, is she?

Duncan: You know...maybe I shouldn't have rescued Courtney after all. Maybe I should have gotten someone else to do it...she's simply not worth it.

Courtney: Finally! Now we can get this stupid challenge over with! I bet we're going to win this!

After slaying their respective dragons, our heroes finally completed the challenge. They were all exhausted...but had their efforts actually paid off?

"Ah, I see that you managed to rescue your princesses...but guess who managed to rescue their princess first? Let's find out." answered Blaineley.

Once again, Chris played the drum, causing them all to wonder who actually won the challenge.

"The winner is..." continued Blaineley.

...

...

...

...

...

"Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot!" she exclaimed.

Suffice to say, Team Blaineley immediately began to cheer. They had won the first challenge of the fifth season!

"Woohoo! I knew we could do it!" exclaimed Zoey.

"I guess today's our lucky day." said Cameron.

"Shame...I would have enjoyed getting the opportunity to get a marshmallow...but at least I won't risk getting voted off." answered Owen.

Dawn simply began meditating once again. She had a smile on her face however, which suggested that she was happy.

B also smiled, content at helping to win the challenge for the team.

On the other hand, Team Bridgette Was As Ugly As Chef Himself were not too happy about losing.

"I knew it! I'm going to get voted off first!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

Cody let out a sigh.

Sierra began crying.

"Lightning hates losing! This bites!" exclaimed Lightning.

"Just as I planned..." Scott thought to himself.

But the most disappointed of all was Courtney, who was even peeling her hair out in frustration.

"You all freaking suck! You're the worst team in Total Drama history! I knew this was going to happen!" she exclaimed.

Immediately, she screamed in red hot anger, and went back to the girl's cabin.

"She needs to take a chill pill." noted Alejandro.

Confessional: Guess whose approach to the challenge was more effective: Zoey's or Courtney's?

Courtney: *her face is red with rage*

Dawn: I already know who's going to get voted off first...but I won't spoil that for you.

Izzy: So what if we lost! Big deal! We can always try again! Am I right?

"Now then, as a reward for surviving the challenge...I'm giving Dungeons and Dragons tabletop games to Mike, Gwen, Dakota, Sam, and Owen." answered Blaineley.

"Actually, I died while I was fighting the mon-"

"Nobody cares!" Blaineley interrupted Owen.

"As for you Team Bridgette As Ugly As Chef Himself, since you're a bunch of losers today I'm not giving any of you one! Sucks to be you!" she exclaimed.

"But I didn't-"

"Silence!" Blaineley cut off Duncan.

Confessional: Time to see who's voted off first.

Ezekiel: My time has come...farewell Total Drama Island...*sigh*

Courtney: I'm voting for Ezekiel, he's useless!

Scott: I know who's going to be voted off this time...but just because I like screwing with people...I'll be voting for someone else.

Duncan: I'm voting for Courtney...nobody slaps me in the face.

Lightning: I'm voting for Scott...why you ask? Because Lightning hates losing!

A few hours later, at the bonfire ceremony...

Blaineley was dressed just like the Grim Reaper...apparently she was taking delight in watching Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself lose a member. She was holding ten marshmallows on a plate.

"Well well well, it looks like you've screwed up this time, haven't we? Well guess what! Now you're going to have to vote off one of your fellow campers! Like I said, it sucks to be you!" she answered.

"We know, Blaineley." answered Duncan.

"Silence! Anyways, you all know how this works...if I throw you a marshmallow, that means you're still in the game...if not, then have fun at the Playas Des Losers! Oh, and for this season, you'll be shot out of a cannon!" she exclaimed.

"A cannon?" questioned Cody.

"Yes, a cannon! Now then, let's get this over with, I don't have all night." she answered.

"The first marshmallow goes to Duncan." she stated, tossing a marshmallow.

"Oh, would you look at that...I get the first marshmallow of the season." he thought.

"Next up is...Sierra!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"I hope Codykins isn't eliminated. If he is, I'll go crazy!" she thought.

"Cody!"

Sierra sighed in relief.

"Brick!"

"Heather!"

"Alejandro!"

"Lightning!"

"Izzy!"

"Scott!"

Courtney and Ezekiel were still without marshmallows...it was clear that one of them was going to get voted off. Ezekiel's head sank while Courtney let out a smile.

"I've been waiting a long time for this...the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Ezekiel."

Ezekiel gasped in surprise while Courtney's face immediately turned red.

Confessional: Did you see that coming? Then again you probably didn't...

Ezekiel: Yes! Yes!

Courtney: Aarghh!

Ezekiel raised his hands into the air, while Courtney immediately screamed in rage.

"It looks like you're going to be the first one to use the Cannon of Shame, Courtney! Consider it an honor!" taunted the hostess.

The angry teenager walked up to Blaineley.

"Can I help you? You do realize that you need to enter the Cannon of Shame now, am I right? Or are you too stupid to even realize that?" she inquired.

"You can't do this to me! I have the right to a lawyer! And an attorney! And some other guy!" she screamed.

"Well believe me, I have the right to a lawyer too...in fact, I have a ton of them." retorted Blaineley.

"I command you to not vote me off first! Get rid of Ezekiel already! He always gets voted off first!" screeched Courtney.

"Not today!" he squealed.

"How about no. In fact, I suggest that you get out of here immediately." Blaineley stated.

She then pulled out a cell phone, and started calling somebody.

"Hey, could you release the hounds? You can? Great. Bye bye." she answered.

"Who did you just call?" the counselor-in-training questioned.

"Let's just say that his dogs should probably be euthanized. If you don't want to be dog food, then you had better leave." retorted the hostess.

"You're lying." answered Courtney.

Suddenly, angry barking noises began to be heard...apparently the dogs had already picked up her scent.

"Oh snap..." she stated.

"Sayonara!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Immediately, Courtney ran into the cannon as she tried to escape the ferocious dogs...who judging from the looks of their faces were planning on tearing her limb from limb.

Chef then lit the cannon, causing her to be sent flying towards the Playas Des Losers.

"Now then, where was I? Ah yes...better luck next time...not like it's going to help you since you all stink at challenges...but I'll see you tommorrow." stated Blaineley, as she went towards her dressing room.

A few minutes later...

Blaineley was glad to finally be alone. Now she could try out that new makeup she had purchased online. However, there was someone standing in your way.

"You freaking suck! You booted out Courtney! She was my favorite camper! How could you do this to her? I hate you!" James screamed.

"Security!" the hostess once again yelled.

Immediately, two men in black suits came into the room.

"I thought I told you to get rid of him!" she screamed.

"We tried, but he weaseled out of our grip! He's tougher than he looks!" answered the security guard.

"This story is complete and utter garbage! Why doesn't the author delete it already? He'd do us all a favor!" bellowed James.

Once again, the fanfiction reviewer found himself being dragged away by two muscular men.

"This fanfic is pure unconcentrated pain!" he bellowed as he was forced to leave.

"Why can't he just leave me alone?" wondered Blaineley.

Votes:

Duncan: Courtney

Scott: Ezekiel

Courtney: Ezekiel

Lightning: Scott

Brick: Courtney

Cody: Courtney

Sierra: Courtney

Izzy: Izzy

Heather: Courtney

Alejandro: Courtney

Total votes:

Courtney: 6

Ezekiel: 2

Izzy: 1

Voted off: Courtney

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Gwen, Dakota, Sam, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Alejandro, Scott, Cody, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning

It seems that James had once again decided to yell about how horrible this story is...personally, I hope that you don't feel that way, and that you can forgive me for voting off Courtney first...she did deserve it, am I right? And we should all probably give Ezekiel a chance...it's not like he's a jerk like Scott is...right?

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is now a little smaller...can they catch up to Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really hot? Or will they lose again? Considering that Blaineley's rigging the challenges in her namesake's favor...


	5. Day 2: The Worst Movies Ever Made

Total Drama Insanity

_Well, so far I've gotten some pretty favorable reviews...thankfully none of you seemed to object to me making Courtney get voted off first...I mean, she was being mean to her fellow teammates...that's never a good idea on this show, is it? _

_Then again, for some strange reason, the evil people in this show always seem to make it far...how do they do it? Do they have a guardian devil or something? Does Chris rig the game in their favor like Blaineley does with the team she named after herself? Then again it's probably simply because the villain writes the plot...ah well._

**Chapter 5: The Worst Movies Ever Made**

"Welcome to another episode of Total Drama Island! You probably want me to recap what happened in the last episode...so I must as well explain to you what happened since you're so ignorant..." recapped Blaineley.

"Anyways, in the last episode, our heroes went on a Dungeons and Dragons campaign...each team had to slay a dragon and rescue the princess...and in order to win the challenge had to be the first one to do so. Naturally, the team I named after myself managed to win...and the team that I named after who I hate ended up losing. Sucks to be them. Feel free to point and laugh."

"In the end, Courtney ended up being voted off because she threw a temper tantrum and slapped her rescuer in the face simply because he took too long. And for the first time in Total Drama history, Ezekiel wasn't voted off first. Talk about a surprise, huh? Of course, knowing how unlucky his team is it's only a matter of time before they lose again...and I'll be waiting for them! Hahahaha! Now where was I! Ah yes! Now for the theme song!"

*one theme song later*

_At the boys side of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot..._

"Well, it feels good to be the winner of the first challenge for a change. I remember how often we lost back when Scott was on our team...that little weasel. I'm glad that he ended up in the trauma chair. It's exactly what he deserved." answered Sam.

"Mm-hmm...I'm glad I could give you a hand in that considering I won the first season...I always seem to do well at the bonfire ceremonies and the challenges for some reason...it's too bad Izzy isn't in our team...I miss her..." agreed Owen.

B also gave his sign of approval, remembering how Scott had betrayed and then manipulated his teammates into voting him off simply because he thought he was a threat. Hopefully it would not happen again.

"Personally, I'm happy that I managed to slay the dragon...even if I switched to one of my multiple personalities while I was at it. Vito really embarrases me, to be honest with you. Then again, at least someone likes him...too bad it's not Zoey." stated Mike.

"Mm-hmm...I'm glad that you're on our side. I just hope that your multiple personalities don't cause us to lose...but so far it hasn't gotten in our way. Then again it would probably be kind of funny to watch...no offense though." nodded Sam.

"I think I've actually gotten the hang of controlling them to be honest with you...I don't think I've changed my personality as much as before...Maybe it's because I'm with Zoey now? Love's a magical thing if you ask me." questioned Mike.

**Confessional: Let's hope that Scott once again meets a horrible end.**

**Sam: I think with Scott not on our team we actually have a good chance of winning this...I can't say the same for the other team though...I actually feel sorry for them.**

**B: *he is holding out a picture of Scott with horns and a goatee on it* *he tears it to shreds***

**Mike: I remember Scott...he blackmailed me and then voted me off...I'm glad Zoey trounced him...I knew I made a good choice.**

**Owen: I don't know much about Scott...but I heard that he was a real jerk. Does he even have a conscience? I can't help but wonder.**

_On the girl's side of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot..._

"So, did you predict that we would win the challenge?" Zoey questioned. "You always seem to able to predict the future...it makes me wonder whether you're psychic or something."

"It really wasn't all that hard. Blaineley's rigging the challenges in our favor, to be honest with you. And I could tell that Courtney was going to be voted off first...she shouldn't have yelled at Duncan." answered Dawn.

"I should have probably listened to you while I still had the chance...maybe that way I wouldn't end up becoming a mutant...speaking of which, I wonder what Courtney would be like if she ever became a mutant...she doesn't seem to have much of a sense of self-control." Dakota thought out loud.

"Ah yes...personally, I'm glad she's gone, she wasn't much of a help to anyone, not even to her own team. No wonder they got tired of her whining and complaining and decided to boot her off." nodded Gwen.

"Believe me, it's fortunate that this island is no longer a toxic dump...I feel sorry for all of the mutant animals...at least the scientists are likely turning them back to normal..." Dawn agreed.

"I hope my boyfriend Wesley doesn't end up being mutated. He'd probably end up destroying the entire cabin! And that we'd all have to share the same cabin together..." exclaimed Lindsay.

"His name is Tyler." stated Gwen, who begn asking herself why couldn't Lindsay ever get his name right? He was her boyfriend...and besides, his name was rather short.

**Confessional: I wonder how Chris is doing in prison with his new cellmate?**

**Dawn: I predict that our team is going to do well in the future. Team Bridgette, not so much...*sigh* Why is Blaineley so biased?**

**Zoey: With Mike at our side, we're going to be unstoppable! At least I hope so...Lightning's probably going to eliminate me again...**

**Gwen: I actually feel good for a change...with Courtney gone maybe life will be easier and that I won't have to worry about going deaf.**

_At the boy's side of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

Ezekiel found himself unable to sleep. He had actually managed to avoid being voted off first! He felt like celebrating!

"I feel powerful! I feel invincible! I feel pretty! I feel like singing! OK, maybe I'm getting a little carried away..." he exclaimed.

"Do you mind? We're trying to sleep here so that we can get ready for the next challenge. Maybe if we're lucky we might be able to win this time." asked Brick.

"Sorry, I guess I got a little carried away. Still, I'm having a hard time trying to rest after what just happened." Ezekiel explained.

"I suppose it was a change of pace that you weren't the first voted off...although it's probably not going to do you any good in the end." agreed Alejandro.

"Don't get too excited! We just lost one of our teammates! Now we're probably going to lose again!" exclaimed Lightning.

Scott immediately chuckled. He probably wouldn't even need to sabotage his own team this time! If he could simply manipulate the other team members into voting for someone else, then he would get to the merge in no time!

Unfortunately, someone was not too happy towards him for using that very selfish and overall uncaring strategy.

"You're hoping that your team is going to lose again, aren't you! Ugh, you absolutely disgust me! You make me want to vomit in a barf bag! That's how bad you are!" exclaimed the conscience.

"Well, I was actually thinking about getting rid of Lightning this time considering he won last season...without him surely life will be easier for me at the merge...and then I'll be swimming in money! Maybe even literally!" answered Scott.

"Ugh! You drive me crazy, you know that? You just never listen! What did I ever do to you? Did I eat your sandwich or something? Did I make fun of you in fourth grade? I just can't think of anything!" bellowed the old man, who was now peeling his hair out.

"Nothing really, I just like making you mad. You're so funny when you're angry, to be quite frank with you." stated the hick.

"You're going to get what's coming to you! Again! Mark my words!" answered the conscience.

"Yeah right. What happened to me last season was just a one-time fluke. It's not going to happen again. Fang the Shark isn't even here!" answered the mischevious teenager.

"Oh believe me...I'm going to take care of that soon enough..." responded the conscience, who then decided to leave.

"Scott, why are you talking to yourself?" asked Ezekiel, curious to why Scott seemed to be arguing.

"It's none of you business, you little farm animal. Now go to bed." retorted Scott.

"Farm animal? Maybe you should get a new insult book..." questioned the farmer.

"Just go to sleep already. I'm tired of your yelling!" stated Scott.

**Confessional: Scott never listens to his conscience...it's going to cost him, I can tell you that.**

**Conscience: I hate my job. I really do. Why can't I be someone else's conscience? Surely that would be a lot easier...**

**Scott: Why should I listen to my conscience? It's not like he can do anything to make me pay attention to him...**

**Ezekiel: *he is jumping up and down* Million dollars, here I come!**

**Lightning: Scott can't escape elimination forever! Sooner or later he's going to be struck, by Lightning!**

**Alejandro: Scott is so ugly...but then again it's not like everyone can be blessed with good looks like I am...**

_Let's check up on the girl's side...which is now one girl short..._

"You know, I'm actually glad that Courtney is gone...to be honest she was beginning to drive me crazy." stated Heather.

"You think we should throw a party? I brought fireworks!" Izzy exclaimed.

"You did?" questioned Sierra.

"Yeah! I put them in my suitcase!" squealed Izzy.

"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea...except maybe if we threw the party in Cody's honor." she answered.

"I'm surrounded by asylum inmates..." thought Heather.

**Confessional: If Heather leaves the girl's side of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is going to become Bedlam.**

**Heather: *she is yawning* I can't believe I'm stuck sleeping with those two...how am I going to get my beauty sleep now?**

**Izzy: *she is displaying her illegal fireworks* I got them from the black market! Aren't they awesome?**

**Sierra: Those fireworks look dangerous...but maybe I could give them a try...**

_One day later...at Chef's kitchen where he creates the rat poison, I mean food that the campers eat..._

Shortly after he had cooked breakfast and later lunch for the campers (which he didn't spend much time and effort in at all), Chef decided to read the newspaper, although he wasn't expecting it not to be particularly interesting. Personally, he found Canada to be too ordinary for his liking, although his friends and family didn't feel the same way.

"Nothing exciting ever happens here in Canada...it's always the same thing every time. I honestly wish that something actually newsworthy would show up in these papers." he thought.

He also remembered that Blaineley wanted him to pop popcorn that particular day, and he began to wonder what she had planned for the challenge. Was she going to make them watch a video? That didn't sound too difficult. He thought about it for a moment, then back to the newspaper.

Suddenly, he encountered some interesting information about what had happened just a few days ago. Curious, he decided to read further to see if he could find anything else that caught his eye.

"Maybe I was wrong after all. It looks like something is happening for a chance." he thought.

Apparently, two kids from the Tri-State Area named Phineas and Ferb had illegally immigrated to Ontario, and had blown up a building using deadly explosives that killed quite a few people.

"Funny, I haven't actually heard of the Tri-State a-wait, what?!" exclaimed Chef in disbelief.

Apparently, even the Prime Minister of Canada had taken action against what they had done, and he would not rest until the two were brought to justice. Phineas and Ferb were already #1 and #2 respectively on the RCMP Wanted List, and had bounties on their heads that made this season's prize money look like a nickel.

Suffice to say it looked like Izzy might not actually be arrested this particular season...she was rather low priority in comparision to the two lunatics, after all. In fact, if she was lucky enough, the fiery redhead might not even end up in prison after the show had ended, either. She might be able to head back home a free woman and even throw a party.

"What were those kids thinking? And here I thought Izzy was insane...then again I also thought children were innocent. Now I take that back. Those kids must be pure evil or something...even I knew what they did was wrong...and I've been helping Chris throughout the four seasons throughout the show...then again I am helping Blaineley out now, and she's not that much better..." he thought to himself.

Curious, he wondered if he should start reading other newspapers to see if he could find anything else that was interesting. Maybe he was wrong about nothing ever happening in Canada after all, and that maybe a gigantic meteor was going to strike the island.

Suddenly, he heard Blaineley demanding that all the campers report to the next challenge. She had mentioned to them that she was going to make them watch movies in order to win immunity for their team, and Chef began to grow suspicious.

"Something tells me that the movies that she's going to make them watch are box office bombs..." he thought. She was clearly up to no good.

**Confessional: I'm afraid she isn't. What exactly is she planning against our heroes? She is essentially the Big Bad after all...**

**Chef: I wonder why Blaineley thinks it's alright to torment the campers...then again I never understood that about Chris either. Well, aside from the fact that he's a sadist...but still!**

**Blaineley: *she is grinning maliciously* The campers are not going to like this challenge...I can promise them that.**

_A few minutes later...after Blaineley had invited all of the campers for the next challenge..._

The campers went over to Blaineley to see what she had prepared for them this time. Curiously enough, she had brought them all microwaved popcorn, and looked rather excited to see them.

"Are you going to show us a video for this challenge? Because this popcorn looks delicious! It's even got butter on it!" asked Owen.

"As a matter of fact, I sure am! In fact, I'm going to show you a bunch of movies! Then again, you've probably heard of these ones before!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Yay! I love movies! Roll the tapes! C'mon, I'm getting impatient!" exclaimed Izzy.

"But before I do so, has any one of you ever been to a movie theater? Feel free to be honest. I'm not judging." the hostess inquired.

The campers raised their hands...with the curious exception of Ezekiel.

"I've lived in a farm most of my life, actually. It's a shame though, I probably would like to see a movie...I hear that some of them make a lot of money..." he explained.

"Well then, all of you are probably thinking that all movies are good, and that you're going to enjoy these movies that I'm going to show you, am I right?" Blaineley once again asked.

The campers nodded, although a few of them raised an eyebrow. Was she trying to hint them at something?

"Well guess what! You're not going to enjoy these movies, because they're not good at all! In fact, these movies are essentially the worst that have ever been made. They shouldn't even exist, but for some reason they exist anyway!" she exclaimed.

"I sure hope you aren't going to make us watch that video from The Ring..." worried Alejandro.

The campers immediately began to become worried. Something was wrong about this challenge...something very wrong. Even Ezekiel and Lindsay began to grow a little suspicious.

"In just a few moments, you're about to see one heck of a bad movie! Now then, what abomination should I start with first...I know! Sam, you like to play video games, do you not?" asked Blaineley.

Sam nodded his head. "Er, what does that have to do with this challenge? I don't understand."

"Well, Sam, this movie was based off of a video game...but suffice to say it didn't turn out too well. To make a long story short, movies that are based off of video games suck!" exclaimed the hostess.

"That's too bad. I like video games and I like movies too...why can't they overlap? Lousy executive meddling..." he questioned.

"This movie however took that obstacle beyond the norm...as you'll find out in just a few moments when I actually stick the video in the TV and start the movie." Blaineley stated.

**Confessional: Don't do this, Blaineley! I'm begging you!**

**Sam: I've got a bad feeling about this challenge...I can feel it in my bones.**

**Chef: What is Blaineley thinking? She simply cannot make the campers watch these movies! I've seen one of them myself and it was absolutely atrocious!**

**Lindsay: I don't understand...do these movies really suck as much as Blaineley says they do?**

Blaineley stuck the movie into the TV, and soon enough the movie began to play. It didn't take long before the campers realized how horrible the movie was.

"Why is this intro so long? Already I'm starting to hate this movie...in fact, I'm starting to feel a little sleepy..." stated Heather.

"Funny, that's actually something that we agree on. Not like we can ever get along..." agreed Gwen, who began to yawn.

As the movie went on, the campers started to hate the movie more and more. How could the creators possibly have screwed up that bad? Not only were the "scary" monsters were shoddily animated, and the movie clearly did not have anything to do with the series it was based on.

And even if it did, there were still numerous plotholes, a lousy fighting sequence where for some reason a man could endure bullets without wearing a bulletproof vest but could not survive being impaled by a sharp object that probably wasn't even that lethal, two characters making out for no reason, really bad acting, and there was even a corpse raising her head after her "untimely" demise like she was becoming a zombie.

All of the campers suffered from the lousy movie, but eventually two members of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot cracked under the enormous pressure. In this case, it was Sam and Dakota, mainly due to the fact that Sam was disappointed that it was based off a movie that he enjoyed playing and therefore was the one that hated the movie the most.

"Sorry guys, but I can't take this anymore! This movie is horrible! In fact, it's the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life! I never want to play Alone in the Dark again! In fact, I don't think I'll even look at a horror video game the same way again!" he exclaimed.

"I'm with my boyfriend on this one. I'm afraid that I've been scarred for life...and I should know how that feels! I became a mutant, for crying out loud!" agreed Dakota.

"This movie is scary...but for all the wrong reasons! I think my teeth are going to start chattering pretty soon!" exclaimed Gwen.

"I wouldn't even show this movie as a prank on another camper...that's how bad it is! No wonder the Nostalgia Critic reviewed this with two other people! Good lord!" stated Duncan.

**Confessional: I do not want to be alone in the dark with this movie. Heck, I wouldn't watch it even with my friends!**

**Sam: This movie destroyed one of my favorite video game franchises! Curse you, Uwe Boll! Curse you!**

**Dakota: This movie is going to give me nightmares...I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep in the cabin tonight...unless maybe if I sleep with Sam...wait what I am saying?**

**Ezekiel: This may be my first movie I've ever seen...but I still think it sucks! Jeez!**

Thankfully, the movie finally ended after what felt like hours, and our heroes could finally rest in peace...until Blaineley pulled out another video.

"I see that most of you actually endured that movie...you must be tougher than you look...then again you've all competed in previous seasons...Let's watch another movie that destroyed a popular movie franchise and see if I can get any more of you to run to your mothers..."

"Oh heck no..." Duncan stated, realizing what Blaineley was going to show them next.

_Can our heroes survive these horrible movies? Or will they all go insane from watching these movies that ended up costing their studios a lot of money? Anyways, I take it you won't mind that this is a fast update...everyone loves surprises as long as they're pleasant, am I right?_

_Hopefully one team can pull through...if not, Blaineley might end up making our heroes watch these movies again...or something worse...and nobody wants that._

_Let the bad movie-a-thon commence!_


	6. Day 2: Drama Office Bomb

"Total Drama Insanity

_Well, it's time for another exciting episode of Total Drama Island...suffice to say, if you're like Helen, then maybe you should stay away. Suffice to say our heroes (and villains) are going to have to watch even more horrible movies if they want to win immunity..._

_Who will snap next? Who will win the challenge? And who will get voted off second? Dawn's actually already predicted one of these questions...maybe she's psychic or something?_

_Either way, I hope you enjoy it._

**Chapter 6: Drama Office Bomb**

Blaineley was once again standing outside on the docks, ready to explain the audience what they may or may not already know.

"I suppose you want a recap of what I did to the campers prior to one of those obnoxious commercial breaks...to make a long story short, I made them watch one of the worst movies ever made...personally, I wonder what idiot would even make that kind of trash...but it's not the only horrible movie I'm going to show them today...in fact, I'm going to keep showing them lousy movies until only one team is left standing." she stated.

"Personally, I wonder if Team Bridgette is going to lose again...or if Team Blaineley's guardian angel, also known as me, is going to abandon them. I guess you'll just have to watch the episode and find out...personally, I hope that I don't end up being flamed again...anyways, I bet you want to see the campers right about now and don't want to pay attention to me...jerks."

_A few minutes later..._

"Alright, for our next video, let's watch Jaws: The Revenge!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Not that movie! It killed one of my favorite movie franchises! Why are you even doing this to us?!" screamed Duncan.

"Because I felt like it. Now if you excuse me, let's roll another tape." she stated, placing the movie in.

"This isn't going to be fun..." thought Gwen.

**Confessional: If the movie's called Jaws: The Revenge, then what did we even do to Steven Spielberg?**

**Gwen: I agree with Duncan...I can't believe Blaineley is making us watch this pathetic excuse of a horror movie. In my opinion, she's not much better than Chris.**

**Duncan: *he is peeling his mohawk out in frustration***

**Blaineley: Maybe I should make a challenge based off of Jaws...but who should I make the shark? Chef...or one of the interns...**

Suffice to say the campers immediately realized how low the Jaws franchise had sunk just by watching this movie. Why you may ask? For one thing, there were enormous plot holes that were big enough for entire characters in the movie to fall into. Suffice to say, the plot didn't even make that much sense.

For some strange reason, the shark had declared revenge on the Brody family...they didn't really explain why the ferocious underwater predator had a bone to pick with them...maybe they ate his sandwich or something?

Ellen Brody also claimed that Sheriff Brody had died because he was afraid of the shark...but considering that he killed the shark in the first movie that seemed a rather lame way for him to die.

"Ugh...why Steven Spielberg why? How could you have screwed this movie up? This is one of the best movie franchises ever and you ruined it! To think that you would sink low like that..." screamed Duncan.

"Actually, this movie was made by another director named Joseph Sargant..." said Blaineley.

"Curse you, Joseph Sargent..." muttered Gwen.

Eventually, Gwen and Duncan both decided to leave. Apparently, they couldn't stand what had happened to the Jaws movie series...and they didn't want to take part in the challenge anymore.

"Let's see if I can get anyone else to leave...surely one of these has got to be the worst movie ever made..." thought Blaineley.

Finally, they got to the scene where the shark was destroyed...which revealed its rather lousy model.

"This movie is scary...but for all of the wrong reasons!" exclaimed Cameron.

"I hope that whoever created this shamovie gets struck by lightning! That means you Steven Spielberg!" agreed Lightning.

"That's it! I can't take this movie anymore, let alone the challenge! Let's get out of here before we go insane, Mike." demanded Zoey.

Mike agreed that the movie was evil, and he decided to do what his girlfriend said. Hopefully he would be able to watch another movie that was actually enjoyable.

**Confessional: Now you know why there haven't been any more Jaws movies lately.**

**Zoey: I'd rather wrestle a shark than watch that movie again...after all, I might go commando and end up beating it, after all.**

**Mike: *he is whimpering* Can't sleep, badly animated shark will eat me...**

**Fang: (he is speaking in subtitles) I may be a vicious, bloodthirsty shark, but even I hate this movie! It belongs in Davy Jones' locker!**

"I personally don't think I can take much more of this." stated Ezekiel.

"Neither can I, actually." agreed Cody.

"I don't see what the problem is about this movie! I loved it!" exclaimed Izzy.

"That's because you enjoy pain, Izzy." stated Owen.

"Oh right! How could I have forgotten that? Oh well." answered the masochist.

The campers began trembling in fear as soon as Blaineley pulled out another movie...it was known simply as North.

"I don't understand...why is it named after a cardinal direction?" inquired Lindsay.

"It's actually the name of the main character who decides to travel to different countries to escape his parents that can never get along..." stated Tyler.

"Then what's so bad about the movie?" she asked.

"Let's just say that apparently the creator got lazy and decided to use horrible stereotypes..." stated the boy.

"I sense deep racism in this movie..." murmured Dawn.

B immediately frowned. Whenever Dawn made a prediction, it almost always came true. And what she said certainly did not sound good.

Blaineley once again inserted a tape into the recorder, so that they could all see how horrible it was.

Like Tyler had said, the movie was about a kid that went all around the world because of his lousy parents...but as soon as they watched the movie, the campers began to notice that something was wrong.

"Quick, loosen his pants!" exclaimed North's father when he noticed North was having a heart attack.

"I don't understand...is North wearing Hello Kitty underwear or something?" asked Ezekiel.

"I just hope that Sierra doesn't try to do that to me..." stated Cody.

"Why not?" asked Sierra.

"Because that would be...well you know..." stated the boy.

Sierra raised an eyebrow.

Shortly afterwards, North decided to abandon his parents to find better ones using a court of law...for some strange reason, they were frozen solid like statues as soon as they realized what was happened.

"Your honor, the defense rests." stated the judge.

"Ugh...that joke was lame." answered Ezekiel. "Are all movies really this bad?"

"Most of them are good, fortunately. But not these ones." stated Owen.

Afterwards, North decided to go to Texas to see if he could find a loving family...but for some strange reason, everyone there were dumb hillbillies...one of them even claimed the horrible death of their obese son was a mighty big loss.

"Ugh! It's as if they're too stupid to even feel empathy! Are they smoking crack or something?!" screamed Tyler.

"A mighty big loss? I don't understand...why would they joke about something like that? Didn't they love him?" wondered Lindsay.

They then began to sing a really horrible song that would get stuck in anyone's head...and likely make them bang their head against the wall. At this point, both the jock and the cheerleader decided to call it quits.

"So long guys...I just can't stand this movie anymore. To think they actually thought people would enjoy thees horrible stereotypes..." said Tyler.

"I agree with Billy! I wonder who would act this unrealistically?" questioned Lindsay.

**Confessional: Only Kim would enjoy this kind of racial insensitivity.**

**Tyler: There's also these perverted Hawaiians who go around showing other people little boy's butts...*shudder***

**Lindsay: Thank goodness that was actually the only song in the movie...at least I hope so because that one burst my eardrums...**

After witnessing the Texans that lacked empathy towards their children and loved to sing songs that were worse than over nine thousand cats yelling at once, North then went to see the lecherous Hawaiians, who likely wanted to touch him in a place and a way that made him feel uncomfortable. Like Blaineley said, this movie was no good.

Eventually, the campers reached the point where the creepy Hawaiian created the billboard showing the octopus pulling off North's swim trunks...the campers immediately covered their eyes in disgust.

"Never in my entire life have I seen anything this horrible...even my military instructor was benevolent compared to this..." stated Brick.

Eventually, Brick decided to leave, unable to tolerate the horrors of the Hawaiian billboard.

The movie then turned to North deciding to head to Alaska...which was home to Eskimos that gleefully executed their own grandparents.

"In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have eaten before this challenge..." stated Owen.

"Don't you always eat before a challenge? You seem to have a disorder or something..." questioned Cody.

"I could never do that...they'd get to my thighs." answered Heather.

"Do you always talk about yourself? It's getting on my nerves." questioned Sierra.

"What? It's not like there's anything wrong with it...unlike you." retorted Heather.

**Confessional: Natasha definitely wouldn't approve of this movie...in fact, she'd probably be traumatized.**

**Brick: They're making jokes out of executing Eskimos? Is that the best they can come up with?**

**Heather: Why can't Sierra stop obsessing about Cody? I don't really see what she sees in him...or what she sees in herself.**

**Alejandro: I may be bad, but I still think this movie crosses the line in every way! At least I don't treat killing people as some sort of celebration...**

The movie then showed North finally finding acceptance...but something still wasn't right. Meanwhile the evil Winchell was taking advantage of the fame North had gotten from his actions and was trying to take over the world for some reason.

"Really? Is that the best the creators could think of? All of a sudden this movie is becoming really unrealistic here...he even has a hitman!" wondered Ezekiel.

Unfortunately, now that North was trying to return to his parents, Winchell was worried that he would end up losing his power...and he decided to get everyone all around the world to bring him his head.

"Good grief...all this just so that he can stay in power." thought DJ.

Thankfully, just when things looked bleak for North, it turned out to be a dream.

"Does this mean that North is racist? And hasn't this been already done before?" questioned Dawn.

B nodded.

A few minutes later, the movie finally ended, and the campers let out a sigh of relief...until Blaineley pulled out M. Night Shyamalan's Last Airbender.

"I don't get it...people say that Avatar: The Last Airbender is really good...why are you showing us a movie based off of it?" questioned DJ.

"Let's just say that M. Night changed everything and ruined the series for everyone." answered Blaineley, sticking the tape into the recorder.

Once again, the campers found themselves watching yet another horrible movie that should have never been made. Interestingly enough, despite how lousy it was, it still managed to recoup its budget...but that didn't stop it from winning 5 razzie awards.

It didn't take much sense to realize why. Apparently, Shamalyan had decided to throw the personalities of the characters on the show out the window...in fact, he even changed their races.

For one thing, Sokka was no longer funny and was in fact now outcharacterized by his boomerang, Katara was as weak as a kitten, and Aang wanting nothing more than to simply hide under a cardboard box like Solid Snake.

Also, despite the fact that earthbenders can bend...well earth, and that their prison camp was located on land, Aang still had to remind them that they could high-tail it out of them. Because Katara was now the wimpiest girl on the planet, she did not remind them herself like she had done in the series.

"To think that Avatar could go from such a great show to one of the worst movies of all time..." thought Cameron.

"I'd rather watch a sports movie...anything would be shabetter than this." said Lightning.

Also, some of the earthbenders apparently sucked at earthbending. It took six of them to hurl a boulder, but only one of them to create a stone wall. Not to mention Sokka and Yue magically fell in love with each other, and Zuko decided to ask a random soldier about his own backstory because he apparently was genetically engineered with no brain.

Also, despite the fact that our heroes insisted that they shouldn't give any of the Firebenders any fire to work with, the idiot Waterbenders decided to light the torches anyway.

And to top it all off, Zhao was drowned by waterbenders for no reason after he escaped the battlefield.

Suddenly, Scott (who was having difficulty watching the movies himself despite what a nasty person he was) got an idea to sabotage his own team.

"Hey Izzy, there's cake in the mess hall." lied Scott.

"Yay!" she exclaimed, immediately running away from the theater.

The remaining Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself members glared at him for trying to cost his team the challenge.

"Well, maybe that wasn't such a good idea." he thought.

"You think?" retorted his conscience.

And to make matters worse, he decided to leave shortly afterwards to go to the bathroom and take a leak, leaving his campers to deal with the horrible movies themselves.

"It seems that most of you have decided not to watch any more horrible movies...I guess we'll only need one more movie...and I've got just the one." stated Blaineley.

Immediately, she pulled out a copy of The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. The remaining campers gasped in horror.

"Not that movie! Anything but that! I'll barf up my lunch if you make us watch this trash!" exclaimed Owen.

"Garbage Pail Kids? That sounds disgusting. There's no way I'm watching that." said Heather.

Immediately, Heather decided to leave. Alejandro shrugged and went with her. Owen unsurprisingly chose to leave as well.

As for the rest of the campers, they were about to witness an unspeakable movie that only earned a million and half and was even removed from theaters for its rather inappropriate humour.

Suffice to say, it didn't take long before the campers started to run away from the scary-looking Garbage Pail Kids. It was no wonder that they were equivalent to the horrors of Pandora's Box. And yet, for some strange reason, the man who actually owned the pail wanted to rescue them from the State Home For The Ugly to save them from being killed by the government.

Suffice to say, it was rather disturbing that the government would actually make such a thing in the first place. And for some strange reason, they were going to kill Gandhi, Santa Claus, and Abraham Lincoln, bringing chaos to the world. And the climax featured them all farting and vomiting.

The movie was definitely not appropriate for children...or anyone who still had a speck of sanity left in them, for that matter. The movie was simply pure evil, and did not belong in this world...or even in the galaxy...or the universe even.

"I'm out of here...Those puppets are going to give me nightmares when I sleep at night." exclaimed Cameron.

"Actually, they're people in costumes...and I actually shagree with you on this one...run for your sanity!" screamed Lightning.

"This movie isn't worth it...I've already seen enough horrible movies to last a lifetime...and to think these are the first movies I have ever seen." thought Ezekiel, who decided to head back to the mess hall.

Now, all that was left were Cody, Sierra, Dawn, and B...they had done well to make it this far...but luck was about to run out.

Suddenly, Sierra hugged Cody so tightly that he was unable to breathe, and he passed out on the floor. She immediately panicked and rushed him to the medical tent...

"Oh dear, it looks like Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself has lost the challenge. That means Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot once again wins today!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Dawn let out a sigh of relief while B let out a smile. Watching those bad movies had scarred them for life, but they had managed to pull through.

**Confessional: Thankfully, nobody ended up in the asylum...otherwise we'd be short quite a few contestants.**

**Dawn: Thank goodness...I don't know how much longer I could take those movies...**

**Sierra: *she is giving Cody CPR***

**B: *he is smiling out of relief***

_A few minutes later, at the bonfire ceremony._

Blaineley was once again dressed up like the Grim Reaper...apparently she was once again taking delight in booting off members of the team that she despised.

"Well well well. It looks like you lost again. I guess it really does suck to be you. So far you are shaping out to be the worst team in Total Drama Island history..." Blaineley stated.

"Just hurry up and give us the marshmallows, why don't you!" Heather demanded.

"Fine fine fine, I just like toying with you." retorted Blaineley.

She immediately started handing out marshmallows to the campers as usual.

"Ezekiel."

"Yes!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

"Cody."

"Brick."

"Duncan."

"Lightning."

"Heather."

"Alejandro."

"Izzy."

Only Sierra and Scott were left without a marshmallow...immediately Sierra began to get worried while Scott simply smiled.

"Well, both of you played a role in making your team lose...but who's going to be shot out of a cannon this time? Let's find out...the final marshmallow of the night goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Sierra."

Sierra let out a sigh of relief while Scott stamped his foot in frustration.

"Well, Scott, have fun being shot out of a cannon." stated Blaineley.

"Oh c'mon!" he screamed.

"See, I told you that bad things would happen if you lost." the consicence told him.

"Shut up!" exclaimed Scott.

Blaineley's face turned red with rage.

"Did you just tell me to shut up?!" she screeched.

"Um..." murmured Scott.

Immediately, Blaineley called for Chef, who grabbed Scott by the arms...and then stuck him into a garbage bag. He then started carrying him to the cannon.

"Let me out!" exclaimed the ginger hick, who started kicking and screaming.

"On second thought, I'm not going to fire you straight towards the Playas Des Losers. I'm going to fire you into the water so that you can find your own way there." Blaineley taunted.

"Oh heck no." answered Scott.

Chef aimed the cannon downwards before firing, causing him to land into the ocean and make an enormous splash.

"I'll get you for this!" he screamed.

"Well, that takes care of him. Personally, I hope you end up losing another member of you team...you'll end up being even more likely to lose that way." Blaineley stated.

The remaining Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself members simply sighed.

_Meanwhile out in the water..._

"Well, Scott, I have to say I feel like throwing a party right about now...you're stuck out in the ocean and you're probably going to end up drowning!" taunted the conscience.

"At least things can't get any worse now..." thought Scott.

"Actually, I decided to send in a friend of mine to make sure that you keep out of trouble...I'm sure that you remember him from last season, don't you?"

Suddenly, Jaws theme music began to play...

"What the deuce?! You can't do this to me! You're just a figment of my imagination!" the ginger exclaimed.

"You're right...I'm only just a figment of your imagination...or am I?" he questioned.

Before Scott could answer that, Fang the Shark immediately devoured the garbage bag...suffice to say he was going to have plenty of injuries when he finally arrived at the Playa.

Votes:

Heather: Sierra

Lightning: Scott

Scott: Sierra

Cody: Scott

Brick: Scott

Alejandro: Scott

Izzy: Izzy

Duncan: Scott

Ezekiel: Scott

Sierra: Scott

Total votes:

Scott: 6

Sierra: 2

Izzy: 1

Voted off: Courtney, Scott

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Gwen, Dakota, Sam, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Alejandro, Cody, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

_Well, you probably saw something like that coming...Scott is now out of the competition and when he participates in the aftermath special he's probably not going to look so good...if you get what I'm saying..._

_In the next chapter...our heroes will be vandalizing two houses that Blaineley bought...so that she can collect the insurance money._


	7. Day 3: Entering and Breaking

Total Drama Insanity

_In this chapter, there's going to be another challenge that involves vandalism...apparently Blaineley wants to collect some insurance money from some houses that she didn't even want in the first place. How she got the high insurance policies we may never know...but anyways..._

**Chapter 7: Entering and Breaking**

"Welcome to another exciting episode of Total Drama Island...of course, some of you might not think that Total Drama Island is boring rather than exciting...in that case, go jump off the Thousand-Foot Gorge. Nobody liked you anyway, and I doubt that your family would miss you if you did." stated Blaineley.

"Of course, you probably want me to recap the episode...personally I hate doing that...but since my contract insisted that I do it whenever there was a new episode...I don't have exactly that much of a choice. Who wrote that contract anyway? Probably some horrible dictator I haven't even heard of." she continued.

"To make a long story short, I made them watch some of the worst movies that have ever been made. Why people thought these movies would be good ideas I'm not exactly sure...do the Garbage Pail Kids Movie and The Last Airbender even sound like good movies to you? Someone should find the creators of those movies and throw tomatoes at them...or rotten eggs, or whatever they prefer. It's not like they're limited to one object."

"Now that I've gotten that stupid recap over with, it's time for the next episode of Total Drama Island. And no, I'm not going to say that dramatically like Chris did. It was so overused it wasn't even funny anymore." spoke Blaineley. "Anyways, let's hear it for the theme song...at least that never gets old...although nowadays it seems to get stuck in my head."

_One theme song later..._

Despite the fact that his team had lost again, Ezekiel was feeling rather pleased with himself. He had survived not one but two elimination ceremonies...if he was lucky he might even win this season...that would certainly be something to celebrate about. Maybe he could throw a party at the Playas Des Losers if he succeeded in the competition.

Of course, it also helped that Scott was gone, and that he would no longer be sabotaging his own team. Why did he do that anyway? He did realize that every time his team lost he would end up participating in a bonfire ceremony, didn't he? Then again it's not like anyone ever voted for him back then...at least until they found out what a horrible teenager he was.

On the other hand, Alejandro was still around, and he had caused many eliminations during his time on World Tour. Hopefully he wouldn't end up being eliminated by him this time...he had completely and utterly destroyed Team Victory, after all.

And to make matters worse, he was on the same team this time. Would he persuade everyone else to vote him off during the bonfire ceremony? Of course, so far Courtney and Scott had already been booted off due to their actions, so Alejandro might not be on the show for long.

Speaking of Alejandro, he was currently sleeping...and he was dreaming about pretty girls. He was also talking in his sleep about said pretty girls. Apparently he still thought he was a ladies' man despite the fact that the majority of the campers hated him for his actions during World Tour.

"You are all beautiful...you are so freaking hot...I want to make out with each and every one of you...then again you're not as beautiful as I am..." he kept sleep talking.

"Eh? What's he dreaming about? Something about hot babes?" asked Ezekiel.

"We probably don't want to know...this story's rated T already. Let's not make it M." answered Brick.

"Something tells me the dream is something perverted." stated Duncan.

"Lightning has perverted thoughts all the time." said Lightning.

"OK..." spoke Cameron, trying to get the imagery out of his mind.

"For some reason I always have nightmares about Sierra. Why can't she just leave me alone? She always seems to follow me wherever I go. To be honest, this is probably the only place where I'm safe from her..." explained Cody.

"OK...that's rather disturbing. I hope she stops bugging you soon. That obsession of hers with you is kind of creepy..." agreed Brick.

**Confessional: He's probably dreaming about girls that he can manipulate...if you get what I'm saying.**

**Ezekiel: I suppose it wouldn't be so bad even if Alejandro did get me eliminated this time...it's just a game I suppose...still, I'm happy I wasn't voted off first this time...why did that keep happening to me in the first place?**

**Brick: Personally, I think Alejandro belongs in military school more than I do. Something tells me he hasn't learned his lesson after what happened to him in season three...**

**Alejandro: *he is holding out a scrapbook of several pretty girls***

**Duncan: To be honest, I think that Chris is even more of a jerk than people say I am...then again I did rob that bank last week...**

_Let's see how Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is doing on the girl's side..._

Unsurprisingly, Sierra was very happy that she didn't get eliminated during the bonfire ceremony. After all, she would end up being separated from Cody if she boarded the Boat of Losers.

Unfortunately, not everyone was happy with her unhealthy relationship with Cody...aside from Cody himself of course.

"You do realize you're harassing someone that doesn't really want anything to do with you, am I right?" questioned Heather.

"He said that we could still be friends...at least that's something." answered Sierra.

"He probably just said that just to get you to stop bugging him..." retorted Heather.

Sierra frowned. Was what Heather said true? Did Cody hate her?

Suddenly, Heather and Sierra wondered where Izzy was...she always seemed to disappear whenever they decided to speak with each other.

Their question was answered when there was an enormous explosion followed by the sound of Chef yelling in horror and fury.

"I'm going to get you for this Izzy, if it's the last thing I ever do! Sheesh, what the heck is your problem?!" yelled Chef.

Apparently, she had thought that it was a good idea to start a gas leak in a kitchen...unsuprisingly it ended badly as soon as Chef tried to cook something using a frying pan.

Thankfully, nobody ever dies in the Total Drama universe (except for the interns, but nobody ever cares about them, at least not Chris), so although he was covered in ash, Hatchet was perfectly OK. Nonetheless, he wasn't very happy that Izzy had vandalized his kitchen.

He decided to call Blaineley to tell her what had happened. Maybe if was lucky, she would end up being booted off the show.

"Hello? I'm kind of busy right now...I'm trying to think of a new challenge." she stated.

"Well, I've got a problem. Izzy just blew up my kitchen...and without it I can't make meals for the campers..."

"Wait, hold on, I just got an idea for a new challenge..." stated Blaineley.

"But what about my kitchen?! You're not forgetting about that, are you?!" exclaimed Chef.

"Fine, I'll get someone to fix it...hold your horses, why don't you?." answered the hostess.

**Confessional: What the f-boom!**

**Izzy: Causing explosions is so much fun! No wonder they invented the atomic bomb! Let's do it again!**

**Chef: Izzy does realize that none of the campers are going to be able to feast until the kitchen is repaired, right?**

**Heather: *she is facepalming* I'm surrounded by idiots...especially my teammates. No wonder they were so easy to manipulate in the first season...**

_Now to see how the guys on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is doing..._

Things were looking good for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot. They had lost no members so far, so they would have an advantage in future challenges. If they were extremely lucky, all of them would be able to make the merge. Owen in particular was pleased, albeit due to the fact that he was eating a delicious candy bar.

"It's a shame that there isn't a vending machine...I still have a lot of cash from winning the first season..." stated Owen.

"I take it you've been spending most of it on food?" questioned Cameron.

"Well yeah...I still haven't really decided on what to spend it on though...my parents told me not to spend it in one place..." answered the boy.

"Like at McDonalds? That would explain a lot..." questioned Mike.

"Very funny..." murmured Owen, who in fact had spent much of the money at Burger King.

"If I ever won a season of Total Drama...I'd probably spend some of the money buying a few video games...I already have a lot of consoles though..." Sam stated.

B began wondering what he should spend the money in if he ever won. Seeing though Scott was gone, maybe he would have a chance of winning this time. Then again, it was only a matter of time before the other campers saw him as a threat. Would he be able to pull off an immunity run during the merge?

Suddenly, they heard the sound of the kitchen exploding. Owen looked outside and immediately screamed in horror.

"Nooo! Not the kitchen! How am I going to get something to eat now!" he screamed.

He was then surprised to see that Izzy was responsible.

"How could you betray me like this, Izzy?! How could you?! Oh the humanity!" screeched Owen. Out of all the people who could have done such a thing...

"I never liked Chef's cooking anyway. He always seem to overcook it." stated Mike.

"Still, it's not going to be easy to win challenges if we can't eat..." Cameron pointed out.

"You're right...let's hope the kitchen is repaired soon..." agreed the teen with multiple personality disorder.

**Confessional: Remember to throw the grenade, not the pin.**

**Owen: Why does Izzy have to be so cruel?! *he begins sobbing***

**Mike: I'm starting to see why Izzy is on the RCMP's wanted list. She should have known better than that.**

**Cameron: Why Izzy isn't in a straitjacket yet I'm not exactly sure. Maybe she's too young to go to a mental institute?**

**On the girl's side of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot...**

Zoey suffice to say was having a rather good day. Scott had been eliminated once again...and it looked like he wouldn't be blackmailing her boyfriend anymore. Maybe if she was lucky he would once again end up in the Trauma Chair. That was always hilarious to watch, at least in her opinion.

Dakota suffice to say was in a good mood as well, considering that Scott had caused her elimination last season. Why he was such a jerk, the world may never know. Personally, she was wondering why Scott was always talking to himself nowadays. Did he secretly have Multiple Personality Disorder like Mike? Apparently he had no friends due to his horrible actions.

Curious, she decided to ask Dawn about what she thought about Scott. Unsurprisingly, she also thought he was a demon. She however also noted that nowadays that someone was trying to keep his evilness under control without much success. What exactly was she talking about? Did it have to do with the fact that Scott was always arguing with himself? Or was Dawn just being crazy? Then again she wasn't exactly Izzy-level crazy...

"Well, we can all agree on one thing." Zoey stated.

"Scott is a jerk." all three girls stated in unison.

"He is?" questioned Lindsay.

**Confessional: I bet CragmiteBlaster has a dartboard with Scott's face on it.**

**Dawn: Personally, I think if Scott died he wouldn't be going to heaven...if you understand what I'm saying.**

**Dakota: I'm glad that Zoey took down Scott last season...it would have been a disaster if he managed to win...just like Heather winning the third season...**

**Zoey: Personally, whenever I see Scott I always imagine him in a devil costume...maybe he's secretly the devil? Then again, it's always the one that you least expect...I hope it's not Mike.**

_A few minutes later at breakfast time at the mess hall..._

Alejandro was trying to flirt with the campers similar to what he had done in World Tour...but for some reason it was no longer working.

"Get away from me, you freak! I'm not going to let you manipulate me again!" exclaimed Lindsay.

"She's my girlfriend, not yours! Go get your own, you pervert! Hands off!" bellowed Tyler.

"Oh brother. It looks like you're trying to manipulate the female contestants again. Didn't you remember what happened last time, Darth Vader?" pointed out Gwen.

"I already have Codykins!" exclaimed Sierra.

"We're not dating!" contradicted Cody.

Alejandro even tried flirting with the campers from Revenge of the Island even though he hadn't known them for nearly as long...but Dawn warned them that he was evil and that all the female contestants should stay away from him so they became suspicious.

"You saw what I did to Scott when he kept manipulating the contestants to do his bidding, didn't you?" stated Zoey.

Alejandro gulped, remembering how Scott had ended up in the Trauma Chair last season...would he end up sharing the same fate? He really didn't look forward to being only able to answer yes or no questions and having all but his head trapped inside a metal box.

It looked like he wouldn't be able to use his looks to get ahead in the game this time, and that he was going to have to come up with another strategy.

Chef came up with some horribly burnt food that he had salvaged from the kitchen...unsurprisingly, nobody wanted to eat it, not even Owen or Brick, even though their stomachs were grumbling.

"Ugh...why did Izzy have to destroy the kitchen?" questioned Heather.

"She suffers from a variety of mental illnesses." answered Dawn.

"I can see that." agreed Dakota.

**Confessional: Serves Alejandro right. None of the campers are going to fall for the same trick twice.**

**Alejandro: Why isn't it working? Am I not beautiful anymore? Do I have something on my face? *gasps* It might be a pimple!**

**Lindsay: People say that I'm dumb for some reason...but I'm not falling for Ricardio's charms. No sirree! He's not getting me eliminated this time!**

**Tyler: If he ever tries flirting with Lindsay again, or I ever see him near her, I'm going to vote him off pronto!**

Eventually, the campers were once again called for the next challenge. Much to their surprise, they discovered that there were two enormous mansions standing in front of them, one of which was red and one of which was blue for representing each team. What was the challenge going to be this time?

Blaineley once again greeted them...and told them that the challenge was going to be fun for some of them...apparently, they were going to vandalize the mansion using some hammers.

"So let me get this straight, you're going to award us for vandalism?" questioned Owen.

"I actually have an enormous insurance policy for these that's way more than what the mansions cost, actually." stated Blaineley.

"Wouldn't that, you know, be insurance fraud?" questioned Sam.

Blaineley immediately sweatdropped, realizing that one of the campers were already on to her. She couldn't let them tell the police about what was going on, now could she? She had to do something fast.

"Er, forget what I said! Just go out there and have fun vandalizing! This is all the challenge is, really! There's nothing else about it, honestly!" stated Blaineley.

"Something tells me she's hiding something from us..." thought the gamer, realizing how specific her words were.

Reluctantly, the campers stepped inside, looking for valuable things that they could break easily.

Naturally, Izzy was enjoying the challenge the most, and was smashing things like crazy.

"Yay! I love vandalism! It's so exciting! I'm going to break everything inside this mansion!" exclaimed Izzy.

"I think we might be able to win this time." stated Brick.

Duncan was also enjoying the vandalism, albeit not quite as much as Izzy.

"Finally, I can commit a crime and actually get awarded for it..." stated Duncan. "Unless of course i count all the times I stole something..."

"You never really seem to suffer consequences from your actions, do you?" questioned Heather.

"Ah yes...I seem to remember you having your head shaved by one of Lindsay's dares...talk about karma." retorted Duncan.

"Shut up." demanded Heather.

"And of course there was that time where you ended up losing all the money you earned after Ezekiel dumped it into the volcano...how he even survived that, I have no idea." answered the rebel.

"Shut up!" exclaimed the queen bee.

"Why should I? All you ever do is manipulate other people to do your bidding...it's not like you're a tough cookie yourself..." taunted Duncan.

"That's it!" exclaimed Heather, who began attacking him savagely.

"Sheesh, Heather really has anger issues, does she?" questioned Cody.

"Eh, I bet she could use a few anger management classes." agreed Ezekiel.

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself decided simply to keep on vandalizing and ignore the fight that was unfolding...it wasn't worth the time and energy, and they had already lost the first two challenges, so therefore they needed to hurry.

**Confessional: Why can't Heather and Duncan just get along?**

**Alejandro: Personally, I'm hoping Heather manages to win the battle...it'd be funny to see Duncan get beat by a girl...**

**Izzy: This challenge is better than television! Even though we're already on television! Isn't it weird?**

**Brick: We sure are causing a lot of damage...will we able to win the challenge this time?**

_Let's see how Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is doing..._

Like Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot was hard at work destroying everything that was in the mansion...everything inside looked rather expensive, and they began to wonder if destroying the objects was such a good idea.

"It sure is a great stress reliever...too bad I probably won't be able to do this again whenever I get mad...since it's you know, the law." noted Zoey.

"It's not like Chris ever obeyed the law anyway...and he was the host of the show, so pretty much everyone in the whole world saw what he was doing. Why didn't he get arrested sooner?" nodded Owen.

B agreed. The longer Chris stayed in prison, the better. He really needed to suffer consequences for everything that he had done to the campers and interns throughout the show...what happened to Dakota and Ezekiel during the third and fourth season came to mind. He should have taken better care of them than that.

"Too bad whoever made these mansions spend a lot of time and money...should we really be destroying all of this?" pointed out Cameron.

"Well, Blaineley told us to do it...then again, I'm not exactly fond of her..." answered Dakota.

"She seems to be enjoying making us suffer like Chris...at least, she always seems to be trying to make our opponents suffer." explained Sam.

"Ah yes...you think she's rigging the competition in our favor? Personally, I'd like it to be a bit more well-balanced...I'm starting to feel sorry for them...at this rate they're going to be completely wiped out." answered Mike.

Suddenly, our heroes noticed that there was a self-destruct button in the mansion...and it was hidden in plain sight.

"Should we press that button? If we did that, we'd probably win the challenge instantly." suggested Cameron.

"I don't know...we might not survive the explosion...it's probably going to be enormous." argued Mike.

"Blaineley really is making this too easy for us." agreed Sam.

In the end, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot decided not to press the button, mainly because they sympathized with Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself and wanted to spite Blaineley.

**Confessional: Chances are pressing that button would make their opponents' chances of winning go up in smoke.**

**Blaineley: Ugh! Those idiots! I gave them exactly what they needed to win and they didn't use it! This is hopeless! Fine, be that way! See if I care!**

**Owen: Funny, didn't Chef's kitchen explode just a few minutes earlier? Now that I think of it this challenge is rather ironic...**

**Chef: If Blaineley puts a self-destruct button in my kitchen, then I'm leaving the show. That is all.**

Outside the mansion, Blaineley was watching the chaos unfold with delight comparable to Chris's sadism.

"Perfect, I'm going to make millions by burning these to the ground! Then again I never spended that much money on these anyway...I personally bought Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot's mansion off of Ebay to make sure that they would break easily..." she stated.

Suddenly, the chimney of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's mansion fell off.

"Well, shoot." murmured the hostess.

_It looks like there's going to be a lot of vandalism in this challenge...but who will be able to cause the most destruction? Will Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself lose once again? Or will the winds of change turn in their favor? You'll have to find out in the next chapter..._


	8. Day 3: The Big Bang

Total Drama Insanity

_Well, it's time to pick up where we left off...you know, with all the campers vandalizing mansions and all that...but who will cause the most destruction and most damage to public property? You're going to find out in this chapter...it's going to be a blast...well, in more than one way of speaking, that is._

**Chapter 8: The Big Bang**

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island...I bet you hate those lousy commercial breaks, don't you? They just make you want to fall asleep or start calling the cable company...but that's how the world works...it's a cruel world full of mean nasty people! Get over it!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Anyway...the contestants are vandalizing the luxurious mansions as we speak...eventually we're going to have a winner...personally I hope that it' s going to be Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot again...because you know, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is the worst team in history..."

"Now then, let's sit back and watch the fun...at least I know I'm going to have fun...those campers always get themselves in so many hilarious situations...why nobody ever dies on the show, I have no idea. Do the campers have a guardian angel watching over them or something?" she stated.

_In the Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot (although personally I think she's really really really really really not) mansion..._

For a moment, it looked like things were going well for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot. They had already destroyed much of the furniture and were destroying more of it at a rapid pace. To make a long story short, it looked as if they were winning, and that nothing could possibly go wrong.

But all good things must come to an end, and the tables would eventually turn in their opponent's favor...as Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot were unfortunately about to discover.

"Here I go!" exclaimed Mike, getting ready for action.

As usual, the teenager with multiple personality disorder pulled out his overly-sized hammer and got ready to smash a priceless-looking chair to pieces...

...but to put it mildly, his aiming was a bit off. In fact, he missed entirely...and instead ended up hurting himself.

"Oh c'mon!" he screamed, angry at the unfortunate turns of events. How could he have been so clumsy?

And as you may know, whenever Mike got frustrated, his Chester personality kicked in. And it wasn't exactly helpful for challenges that required strength.

"What? Where am I? What are you rascals doing? You're making a racket! Calm yourself down, fellers!" exclaimed Mike.

"Oh dear..." stated Cameron, immediately realizing what was happening.

Mike kept on acting more and more senile. He started rambling about the days he participated in World War I and how he killed fifty men, how he single-handedly destroyed the entire German army, and how he ended up getting a medal for bravery. Suddenly, he fell asleep and began snoring.

"This isn't good...wake up Mikey! This isn't the time or place to be sleeping! You can do it in the cabin!" stated Zoey.

"Do you want to sleep with him or something?" questioned Dakota.

"We're not that intimate yet!" exclaimed the indie chick, her cheeks turning red as she did so.

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot kept trying to wake Mike up, but nothing worked, not even screaming at the top of their lungs or playing Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black music. He simply kept on dozing and dozing and dozing.

"This isn't good...we're short one teammate...what are we going to do?" said Sam.

"Whoopee." retorted Gwen.

"I wonder how the other team is doing? Probably better than we are right now..." questioned Dakota.

"Well, they have two members less than we do...we might still be able to pull through regardless." stated Cameron.

Suddenly, another disaster occurred for the team...in this case, Sam hit his foot with his hammer. More specifically, he hit it really hard.

"OW! OW! OW!" exclaimed Sam. Apparently, he was in a lot of pain all of a sudden. Something was wrong.

"SAM!" screamed Dakota. Was her boyfriend going to be safe?

Unfortunately, it looked as if he had injured his foot rather bad, because all of a sudden he had a rather hard time walking. Would he need to wear crutches? Would he need to use a wheelchair?

B frowned. Why were things getting so bad for his team all of a sudden? It wasn't like Scott was on the island anymore...yet for some reason it seemed like his teammates were still getting sabotaged and that they were still failing. What was the world coming to?

"Just when things were looking so well for us...are we going to be able to keep our winning streak? It looks like this might be the winds of change for us...that's what happened in the first season, after all." thought Tyler.

**Confessional: What a horrible twist of fate for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot.**

**Mike: *he is still sleeping* Zoey is so freaking hot...zzz...**

**Sam: I might need to have Nurse Hatchet take a look at it...still, looking at Chef in a nurse's outfit is rather horrifying. Hopefully my foot will get better soon.**

**Dakota: Is Sam going to be OK? I heard that the Playas Des Losers has amazing medical care...but if Blaineley can help it I don't want him to be booted out so early like I was last season...stupid Scott...**

**Zoey: Maybe if I make out with Mike, then he'll wake up...still, I'm not sure if I should try that in public.**

**Gwen: This challenge seemed like a disaster from the start if you ask me...I mean, does it even sound like a good idea to you? What was Blaineley thinking?**

_Meanwhile in the other mansion..._

As it turns out, Heather and Duncan were still fighting over something rather petty. Apparently neither of them could overcome a grudge. On the lighter side of things, they were destroying quite a few things during their rampage.

Izzy had even gotten some popcorn for her campers to eat as well as some soda...apparently, she enjoyed it a little too much. Alejandro's money was on Heather, while Brick's money was on Duncan's.

The needless violence and fighting between Heather and Duncan raged on and on...until suddenly, something unexpected happened...they ended up accidentally pressing the self-destruct button.

As it turned out, Blaineley had also placed a self-destruct button in Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's mansion that would blow up the building after a certain period of time.

Of course, this would put the campers in serious danger if one of them decided to press it, but she wasn't exactly caring. Besides, all the interns were now dead or at the hospital due to Chris's actions, so she couldn't give it a test run.

Due to the fact that she was biased towards their opponents, she had hid it rather well...but due to the fact that Heather and Duncan were fighting rather blindly this did not hinder them at all.

A warning message started blaring throughout the mansion, and red lights started illuminating it. Things certainly looked bad. In fact, it looked as if our campers' days were now numbered.

"This mansion will self-destruct in just a few minutes. Thank you and have a nice day assuming you don't perish in the blast. Maybe if you survive you'll be in the news. Won't that be fine and dandy?" stated a lady's voice.

"What the heck was Blaineley thinking?! Does she want us to get killed or something?! Then again she does seem to hate us a lot...she named us after her archenemy after all." screamed Alejandro.

"Are we going to die? I have so much more to live for! Except maybe for Sierra making out with me..." asked Cody.

On cue, Sierra began to hug Cody. Really tightly. In fact, he was starting to run out of oxygen. Would he better off hugging a cactus?

"I've always loved you, Cody!" exclaimed Sierra.

"Help me..." he murmured.

"Run for your lives! And hope Blaineley gets sued by our parents for putting them in danger!" exclaimed Lightning.

And run the campers did. Unsurprisingly, Cameron and Duncan ended up screaming like little girls as they did so...as for the female teammates...they simply screamed like teenage girls. Everyone else screamed like a guy.

Thankfully, the mansion did not collapse in any way or form whatsoever, so nobody ended up being pinned under any rubble. In fact, everyone managed to escape the mansion without getting hurt...with the unfortunate exception of Izzy, who stayed behind and ended up being covered with ashes when the mansion finally exploded.

Strangely, she did not seem to be harmed by the explosion at all. Perhaps it was because she was a cartoon character.

"That was totally wicked! Let's do it again! Maybe if we're lucky we'll be able to do it in slow motion!" exclaimed Izzy.

"How'd you survive the explosion? And I don't think we should try that again...we might not be as lucky if there's a next time." questioned Brick.

"We're probably better off not knowing how she survived. Some mysteries are best left unsolved...although personally I'm curious too." answered Cody.

"A wizard did it!" exclaimed Izzy.

"A wizard? You've been reading way too much Harry Potter." questioned Heather.

"Snape kills Dumbledore!" yelled Izzy.

"I haven't read that part yet! What the heck was that for? Sheesh! Can't I just read a book from beginning to end?" bellowed Brick.

Unsurprisingly, Blaineley wasn't too happy about the turn of events, as she was hoping Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself would lose yet again and that therefore Team Blaineley Is As Really Really Really Really Hot would get a three-day winning streak.

"You've got to be kidding me...fine fine fine, since you blew up the entire mansion, you don't have to vote someone off today...but I hope that next time you will!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Hooray!" exclaimed Ezekiel. Suffice to say, he was pretty happy since victory meant no bonfire ceremony.

Sierra even hugged Cody...although he wasn't too thrilled about that.

"You're choking me..." he murmured.

**Confessional: Today's a lucky day for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself.**

**Chef: I have to question Blaineley's logic in putting a self-destruct button in the mansion...everyone knows those are incredibly dangerous...and there's always someone that wants to press it.**

**Cody: *he is gasping for breath* Must... get...a...restraining...order...against...Sierra.. .**

**Blaineley: *her face is red for rage* Oh c'mon! This cannot be happening! I am so freaking mad right now! They must have cheated or something! Ugh!**

**Ezekiel: *he is celebrating* Yes! At this rate I'm going to win this season for sure!**

Shortly afterward, Blaineley called Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot and told them that they had lost the challenge for today.

They immediately groaned in unison. Now they were the ones that were going to have to attend a bonfire ceremony! In other words, they were going to lose a possibly valuable member of their team.

Granted, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself would still be lacking a team member so they would still have the advantage, but it still really wasn't something they should look forward to.

"In retrospect we should have seen this one coming...how could we have done so badly? Then again Blaineley did give us a self-destruct button to help us win the challenge...but still!" questioned Owen.

"I was afraid that this was going to happen...it's just as I predicted." stated Dawn.

B immediately frowned. Would he once again end up being the third contestant voted off? Then again, Scott had already been eliminated, and he wasn't on the same team as him this time.

For some strange reason, was still sleeping despite the fact that his team lost...it was actually rather ironic considering bonfire ceremonies were usually nightmares considering what happened there. He probably wouldn't be taking a snooze if he ended up being voted off the island.

Zoey began to worry. Would her boyfriend end up being voted off? He had decided to take a snooze during the challenge...which naturally wasn't too helpful for her teammates.

"Who are we going to vote off now? We've all known each other since last season...this is going to be really hard." questioned Dakota.

"That's your problem. Deal with it!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot sighed. Apparently Blaineley wasn't being too sympathetic with them seeing though they were the big losers for today.

"I just hope Lindsay doesn't get voted off...people keep saying that she isn't bright..." thought Tyler.

**Confessional: It's hard to vote people off the island...unless there are filler characters or jerkfaces around...those are usually easy to vote off...**

**Lindsay: Let's just hope that I don't accidentally vote myself off like I did in Total Drama Action...erm, what were my contestants' names again? I always have such a hard time voting...**

**Tyler: I'm voting for Mike...hopefully he can get some rest at the playa. It's supposed to be like heaven after all.**

**Dawn: A winning streak can only go for so long. It was only a matter of time before we'd end up like this.**

**Owen: I guess I'll vote for Sam...he's not exactly fit for challenges with his foot being injured like that.**

_Later at the mess hall..._

Ezekiel was feeling rather satisfied...for once he was part of the winning team for a change...today was his lucky day. However, his teammates did not see why he had to raise his hands in the air and celebrate his victory all the time.

"Take it easy, dude. It's just a game, remember?" Cody stated.

"Eh? If it's just a game, then why is there a million dollars and fifty cents at stake?" questioned Ezekiel.

"I mostly just think about the million and not the fifty cents that go with it...but then again that's just me." answered Brick.

"If one of us wins, then what should we do with the fifty cents? Get a gumball or something? Personally I'd like to share a milkshake with Cody if I won..." questioned Sierra.

Cody sweatdropped.

"If Lightning wins again, he's going to buy another football stadium!" exclaimed Lightning.

"What are you going to do with another football stadium? Something tells me that you never even use it..." interrogated Heather.

"You're just wasting your money, you know. You should spend it on something that will give you good looks. That way everyone will adore you." retorted Alejandro.

"I'd use it to buy a rocket launcher! That would be awesome! I'll blow everything to smithereens!" exclaimed Izzy.

"Those are dangerous, Izzy. They're not exactly toys. You could kill someone using those." pointed out Cody, not wanting her to end up hurting herself even though she enjoyed pain.

"Who cares?" asked the redhead.

"Like Cody said, they're not something that you should play with." warned Ezekiel.

"But I love playing with explosives!" exclaimed Izzy.

"Stop playing with them then." answered Heather.

**Confessional: Cody is right. You should never play with explosives...you'll blow your arm off or something, and that would be a tragedy. Unless of course you're Scott, since nobody cares about you.**

**Izzy: Wait! I got a better idea! Maybe I should buy an atomic bomb! Or a nuke! Those are totally wicked!**

**Cody: I have to wonder if having Izzy in our team is going to harm us in the near future...of course, we can always vote her off, but still!**

**Heather: Why do I have to bunk with people that belong in an asylum?**

**Alejandro: It's a shame that I can't use my good looks on my contestants anymore...it's just not the same. At least maybe this time I won't end up like Darth Vader...lousy Star Wars references...**

**Ezekiel: Hopefully, I won't end up as a Gollum-like being like I did in the third season...that was kind of embarrasing to be honest with you...**

_At the bonfire ceremony of doom..._

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot were being yelled at Blaineley, who wasn't too happy at them for losing despite the fact that she had tilted the game in their favor. This only made them feel worse about themselves.

Of course, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself had gotten rather lucky for a change...especially Ezekiel, since he now had a spot for the next day of the challenge. As for them, not so much.

"I'm seriously disappointed in you all. I gave you what you needed to win the challenge, yet you decided to lose it anyway! You are really dumb, you know that? Sheesh, I could have sworn that you were smarter..." bellowed Blaineley.

Suffice to say, Blaineley really liked to rub salt in the wound, and the campers immediately began to sigh. Unsurprisingly, they certainly did not want to lose another challenge. Would they have better luck tommorrow?

"Will you just shut up?" inquired Gwen.

"You better not be telling that to Lindsay." pouted Tyler, who as always was trying to defend his girlfriend.

"Why are people always calling me stupid? I always got fantastic grades at elementary school...Fs for short." answered Lindsay.

Tyler facepalmed.

Sam's foot was wrapped in a cast...apparently, it wasn't going to be getting any better soon. Would he be in shape for future challenges? Personally his teammates doubted it.

Mike on the other head was now snoring...apparently he was dreaming about Zoey because he kept talking about how hot she was. Zoey immediately sweatdropped.

"Let's just get this over with and hope you won't be disappointing failures in the next episode." said Blaineley.

"Did you just break the fourth wall?" questioned Cameron.

"Who cares? This is a freaking reality show! I can do whatever I want! Now then, let's see whose going to be in the next episode...hopefully not you." retorted Blaineley. "Now then, I'm going to give you your marshmallows, so you better shut up."

Blaineley then started throwing marshmallows at the campers. They noted that they were rather stale.

"First up is...Zoey."

"Next is Beverly...I mean B."

B blushed in embarrasment. Did she just reveal his true name on purpose?

"Dawn."

"Lindsay."

"Tyler."

"Cameron..." said Blaineley, coughing shortly afterwards.

"Owen."

"Dakota."

"Gwen."

All that were left now were Mike and Sam...Mike simply continued snoring while Sam began to get concerned.

"And the last marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Mike."

Mike suddenly woke up upon hearing his name.

"Finally!" exclaimed Gwen.

"What's going on? Where am I? Wait...why am I at the bonfire ceremony?" he asked.

"Because we lost the challenge, Mikey." answered Zoey sadly.

Sam and Dakota were both unhappy at the turn of events, and decided to share a farewell kiss.

"Try to win the next challenge for me and your teammates, OK Dakota? I don't want you to give up just because of me..." asked Sam.

"I will, Sam. I will." answered Dakota.

"It's no big deal...I'm sure you'll get voted off in the next episode, anyway. It's not like you ever had any fans." taunted Blaineley.

Dakota frowned.

"Real mature, Blaineley." answered Gwen, rolling her eyes.

After Sam and Dakota gave their farewells, Sam was launched out of the cannon and into the night.

"It's not like anyone liked that nerd anyway. Goodbye and good riddance. Now then, I hope Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself loses in the near future..." Blaineley stated.

Afterwards, the campers went back to their cabins. Our least favorite hostess then began to think of a way to make Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself lose once more so that her favorite team could stay in the game.

"There must be a way to stop Team Bridgette from winning...I just need to think of something...hmm...what should I do?" she thought. She had to come up with a plan of some kind if she was going to prevent Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot from losing again.

Suddenly, she got an idea...

"I know exactly what to do...I'll just cheat them out of the game! That's what Bridgette herself deserves after all...that's what happened to her in season three...it was hilarious, I can tell you that." Blaineley stated.

"Why are you talking to yourself?" questioned Chef. As it turns out, he had decided to pay her a visit.

"None of your beeswax!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Sheesh...take it easy Blaineley. I just wanted to talk to you. Apparently the workers that repaired my kitchen have decided to go on strike because you weren't paying them too well." answered Chef.

"Nobody cares about them! My money is more important!" bellowed Blaineley.

"They say that money can't buy happiness." pointed out Chef.

"Of course it can!" shouted Blaineley.

"Whatever you say." stated Chef.

Votes:

Owen: Sam

Dakota: Mike

Zoey: Sam

Gwen: Mike

Dawn: Mike

B: Mike

Lindsay: Sam

Tyler: Sam

Sam: Mike

Cameron: Sam

Mike: Sam

Sam: 6

Mike: 5

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Gwen, Dakota, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Alejandro, Cody, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam

_What a surprising elimination this turned to be...of course, you probably saw Courtney and Scott's eliminations coming from a mile away...but I can't make all the bonfire ceremonies predictable...that wouldn't be too exciting, now would it?_

_But not to worry, you'll be seeing Sam in the aftermath specials...since you guys all love him, am I right?_

_In the next chapter, our heroes are going to be playing a game of baseball...you know, three strikes and you're out and all that..._


	9. Day 4: Batter Up

Total Drama Insanity

_In this chapter, the campers are going to be playing a game of baseball...hopefully they're going to have fun and not have any horrible accidents...since you know, those are never fun. Unless of course they happen to Scott since CragmiteBlaster hates him so much and apparently wants all kinds of horrible things to happen to him._

_Of course, considering how unlikable he is, that's not too surprising. He also hates Phineas and Ferb...which is why I decided to make fun of them in this story. Then again, unlike Scott, they're usually sweet and friendly. Hmm..._

**Chapter 9: Batter Up**

"In the last episode, the contestants were required to vandalize a mansion as part of a challenge...and before you ask, it wasn't so I could collect the insurance money! Sheesh, what is wrong with you people? Always accusing me of doing things that I would never even consider doing." announced Blaineley.

"Surprisingly, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot did not do so well. Not only did they not press the self-destruct button that was in plain sight, but Mike fell asleep and Sam ended up injuring his foot. Also, Duncan and Heather got into a really big fight that caused a lot of destruction."

"Anyways, due to the fact that they cheated, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself managed to win, and Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot had to send someone to the Playas Des Losers for a change. In the end, it was Sam who had to use the Cannon of Shame...although personally I don't think anyone is going to miss him...if he's lucky he might get some fan mail at the aftermath studio though. Who knows?" she continued.

"Anyways, to make a long story short, is Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot going to lose once again? Or was what happened to them simply a one-time fluke? You'll find out in this episode of Total Drama-er what was the name of the season again? Let me think...Oh yes! Now I remember! Total Drama Insanity!"

_Catchy theme song time!_

_In the kitchen..._

Chef had already cooked breakfast for the campers, so he once again decided to read the newspaper to see if he could find any more unusual stories. After all, the last time he had decided to read the newspaper, he encountered a story about two very evil boys named Phineas and Ferb who did one horrible crime after another mainly for personal pleasure.

This time there was another interesting story on the newspaper about how a Japanese girl that moved to Italy named Zoe Orimoto had broken several bones after she tripped and fell on her face.

"She must have been a real wimp...I slipped over one of Owen's banana peels once and I was hardly injured at all...and I was holding my frying pan. She needs to take some vitamins or something." thought Chef.

According to her parents, she also suffered a fractured skull during the winter after her friend Tommy threw a snowball at her head.

"What kind of walking girl stereotype is she? I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for her. At this rate she's going to end up in the Trauma Chair just like Scott did last season. Not like he didn't deserve it." wondered Chef.

Also, apparently she had been chosen by a digital angel to join a team of superheroes...but even then she lost horribly to an evil tree that had been created by three evil mushrooms when they had merged together.

"Good grief..." thought Hatchet, who began to wonder what that angel was thinking. Apparently, even the little boy in the group was stronger than she was although she transformed into a fairy princess while he simply transformed into a polar bear cub.

"Wow...just wow." murmured Chef.

Also, Phineas and Ferb had struck again...they had robbed Fort Knox and had made off with tons of gold bars. Rumor has it that they were planning on attacking a reality show known as Total Drama Insanity.

Chef immediately gulped. Were he and everyone else on the show going to die? The campers always seemed to get themselves in horrible situations, but if Phineas and Ferb attacked the show, they were in for a lot of pain.

However, the police were currently investigating their atrocities and had noticed that as of late there had been a pattern in their atrocities. Hopefully, they would be able to stop them before they struck again.

"I sure hope they catch them..." thought Chef. Every crime they committed seemed more horrible than the last, to say the very least. When would they ever get busted? The sooner they were arrested, the better.

He had read in the last paper about their first crime, which was rather unforgivable. Phineas and Ferb had built a roller coaster that was horribly unsafe and failed numerous safety inspections...but they decided to charge admission for it anyway.

"What the heck were they thinking?!" exclaimed Chef.

Unsurprisingly, it fell off the track and killed most of the people that were riding it and badly injured the rest. The police arrived shortly afterward, but by then, Phineas and Ferb were long gone, along with the money that their victims had paid them.

Some of their other crimes included drowning a monkey using a shower, eating Frankenstein's brain, urinating in public, eating human flesh, public nudity, sending their sister to a mental institution from all the horrible crimes they had committed, killing their own parents, flooding Danville using tidal waves, and failing to report to jury duty.

"Those sick little monkeys...wait, don't you need to be eighteen years old to be assigned jury duty? I'm confused." said Chef.

Would they ever stop doing such horrible things? It seemed that there was simply no end to their atrocities. If they were about eight years older or so, they would probably end up getting the death penalty for all the capital crimes they committed.

He wondered what unusual story he would find in the newspaper next...as he decided to continue reading the paper. To think it had been so boring just last week ago. How the world had changed.

**Confessional: Curse you, Phineas and Ferb!**

**Chef: Phineas and Ferb, you need to stop being evil! Now! I mean it! Granted, I'm not sure you actually watch this show...but anyways...cut it out!**

_Now to check on some of our campers...let's start with Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, shall we?_

Things were a bit quieter now that Sam was gone, to say the very least. None of the campers currently residing in the cabin expected that they would end up losing the challenge, nor did they expect that Sam would end up being voted off.

"It feels a bit funny with him gone...he was always playing video games...I could understand why Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself voted off Courtney and Scott...but I wasn't expecting us to vote him off..."

"It wasn't exactly an easy choice...although personally part of me was expecting that Lindsay would go...I wish people wouldn't think that she was so stupid...she is my girlfriend after all." agreed Tyler.

B himself wasn't too happy about the turn of events either. While he had already beaten his record last season, he still wasn't excited to see the nerd go. He was on the same team as him during Revenge of the Island, after all.

"I'm really sorry that I fell asleep during the challenge...I tried to stop myself from changing personality but I just couldn't control it." apologized Mike.

B gave him a thumbs up as a sign of forgiveness.

Hopefully this would not happen again, and they would all be able to stay together for one more day.

**Confessional: On the other hand, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself finally won a challenge.**

**Mike: Like I said, I've mostly quit changing my personality...but it doesn't always work out for me...**

**Owen: I may not known Sam for too long...but I still feel kind of sorry for him. If only I got to know him a bit better. Then again, maybe I'll get voted off next time and sent to the Playa where I can meet up with him. Who knows?**

**Tyler: We've got to win the next challenge...otherwise Lindsay might be the next one to go.**

**B: *he is holding a picture of his team that he drew himself, with a halo on Sam's head***

_Let's see what the girls have to say about Sam's elimination..._

Dakota wasn't feeling too happy, to put it mildly. His boyfriend had just been eliminated and now she was going to have to continue the competition without him. What was she going to do?

"Don't worry Dakota, I'm sure he wanted you to stay." comforted Dawn.

"I'm sure he did, Dawn, I'm sure he did." answered Dakota.

"I hope that we can win the next challenge...maybe that way there won't be any more split couples." stated Gwen.

"I just hope that Kyle won't get voted off..." said Lindsay.

"Don't you mean Tyler?" questioned Dakota.

"Oh right. How could I possibly forget?" wondered Lindsay.

Gwen simply sighed.

**Confessional: Everyone feels sorry for poor Sam.**

**Dakota: At least Scott got booted off before Sam did...that was an elimination that people surely don't feel sorry about...**

**Dawn: Let's be grateful that Chef didn't take away Sam's video games this time...I heard that he went all crazy...**

**Lindsay: Seeing though I'm a cheerleader...maybe I should start cheering my teammates on...that way we can win the next challenge more easily.**

**Gwen: I wonder how many of us are going to make it to the merge...we seem to have done pretty well until recently.**

_Now let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

Ezekiel was feeling happier than ever. For once, he had been part of the winning team...and had been able to miss out on a bonfire ceremony. Granted, he was already excited about not being the first one voted off...but this was his biggest victory yet.

However, he was beginning to annoy his teammates...which would possibly affect his odds of surviving another bonfire ceremony. Thankfully, he was trying to calm himself down.

"You really seem glad to be part of this team, Ezekiel..." Brick said.

"Eh? Is that a bad thing?" Ezekiel questioned.

"I'm just glad that you have team spirit...I made the mistake of helping my opponents last time and I ended up being booted off just before the merge...nowadays I feel like I betrayed them..." said Brick.

"I did that all the time during World Tour. The girls simply couldn't keep their eyes off of me." answered Alejandro.

"What?! That's horrible! Ever heard of the phrase leave no man behind?" retorted Brick.

"Were the girls hot?" asked Duncan, who was starting to wish that he was more of a ladies' man even though he already had Gwen.

"You stick to your strategy, and I'll stick to mine...even though it doesn't seem to be as effective this season. Why couldn't there be new campers this season?" wondered Alejandro.

"Maybe Blaineley didn't want you to use your good looks to get your way. Personally, I feel that you deserved what happened to you back at Hawaii...you literally asked for it." said Cody.

"Don't mention that to me again!" yelled Alejandro, who suddenly began having very bad memories about the grand finale of Total Drama World Tour.

**Confessional: I bet you all loved watching Alejandro suffer...although part of me wonders if he really deserved such an extreme punishment.**

**Alejandro: *he is shuddering in fear* I never want to have to wear a robotic suit again...apparently Chris decided to save money by buying a cheap one...and it sucked, to say the very least.**

**Brick: Alejandro got roasted by lava, huh? That sure sounds painful...but wouldn't he melt from contact with it? Then again he is a cartoon character...**

**Cody: I can't help but shake the feeling that someone just broke the fourth wall...wait, are we even real?**

**Duncan: I should rewatch Total Drama World Tour some time...then again, it's not like I was in in that much.**

_Now let's check on the girls...and no, we will not be showing them while they're getting dressed._

Heather at this point was starting to get mad. She was still trapped in a cabin with two crazy people...one of which couldn't stay five feet away from Cody and another that was a wanted criminal. She couldn't tell which one was crazier.

"Ugh...why did I even sign up for the show again? Then again I did lose my million dollars the last time I competed...lousy rabid Ezekiel..." thought Heather.

As it turns out, Izzy was once again doing something crazy...in this case, it was seeing how long she could stand on her head.

"You do realize that all the blood is going to flow away from your body if you keep doing that, right?" questioned Sierra.

"It does?! Hooray!" exclaimed Izzy.

Heather decided that maybe she would be better off ignoring them...then again, the last time she decided to bicker with her fellow contestants, she actually managed to win a challenge for her team. So perhaps it wasn't so bad that she was on a team full of people she hated.

Personally, she was hoping that Duncan would get voted off at the next bonfire ceremony...that way Gwen would be upset. After all, he was her boyfriend...who ironically she didn't get on with either.

**Confessional: Don't feel sorry for Heather because she's stuck with Izzy and Sierra. She is evil.**

**Heather: I hope that one of the girls I'm bunking with gets voted off during the next bonfire ceremony...it would really help me get my beauty sleep.**

**Izzy: Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll be able to get #1 on the RCMP's Wanted List! I deserve that title, am I right?**

**Sierra: *she is holding out a picture of Cody muscular and shirtless* *she swoons***

_Later at the mess hall..._

As it turns out, Blaineley was getting another prank phone call from someone who apparently had a lot of time on their hands. Immediately, the campers began to get curious.

"Is there a Uglyface here? First name Maya?" inquired Duncan.

Blaineley was reminded of the previous phone call she had received...but she paid no heed and decided to ask the campers anyway.

"Has anyone seen Maya Uglyface? C'mon! Everyone look around here for Maya Uglyface!" inquired Blaineley.

Once again, the campers began laughing hysterically. Unsurprisingly, she wasn't amused at all, and once again plotted revenge for something rather petty.

"Ugh! When I catch you, I'm going to cut your head off with a chainsaw and then throw it to the sharks!" exclaimed Blaineley. "Either that or I'll use it for a game of basketball...I can't decide which."

"I wonder if the prank phone call was from the same guy as last time. I feel so much deja vu..." questioned Owen.

"Why is Blaineley even falling for the same trick twice? You think she would be more suspicious after what happened last time." stated Tyler.

"I guess Lindsay isn't the only dumb blonde around here." retorted Heather, still believing that she was on an island full of idiots.

"How many times are people going to call my girlfriend dumb? Cut her some slack, will you?!" exclaimed Tyler.

All the while, Blaineley was plotting her revenge against the prank phone caller who had sent her two separate phone calls simply so that they could make fun of her. Unfortunately, she was lacking Caller ID, so she couldn't tell exactly who it was. Yet for some reason, his voice sounded like she had heard it somewhere before...

"Can't you just call the police? It's not like making death threats is going to make things any better between the two of you." inquired Chef.

"Call the police? Being sent to jail is too good for that cretin! He shall pay the ultimate price for humilating me on national television!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"OK..." answered Chef.

**Confessional: Aren't running gags fun? At least I think so, anyway.**

**Duncan: Seeing though Blaineley pretty much fell for the same trick twice, maybe I should try prank phone calling her again...her death threats are hilarious.**

**Blaineley: I swear, I'm going to make whoever keeps making these obnoxious prank phone calls pay the ultimate price!**

**Chef: Maybe she should simply stop answering those phone calls...that ought to save her a lot of grief.**

_A few minutes later..._

"It's time for the next challenge! So get your butts over here!" exclaimed Blaineley.

The campers did as Blaineley instructed. Much to their surprise, they discovered that there was now a large baseball field in the center of the island. How had she built it so fast? Were her construction workers drinking overcaffeinated coffee or something? She wasn't sure.

"What is the challenge going to be this time?" asked Lindsay.

"You're going to be playing a game of baseball." explained the hostess.

"Sweet! This is Lightning's kind of challenge! Shabam!" exclaimed Lightning.

"Yeah yeah yeah. You all know how to play baseball, right?" questioned Blaineley.

"I don't." answered Lindsay.

Blaineley facepalmed.

"Well it's not exactly hard to learn. All you have to do is get a baseball bat and whack the baseballs away from you. After that you have to run over to one of the bases...unless you're on the defensive in which you try to stop the other team from scoring by throwing the baseball as hard as you can or touching them with the baseball they sent flying." she explained.

"I still don't understand." answered Lindsay.

Blaineley's face turned red.

"You're hopeless, you know that? Hopefully you'll be able to catch on, because if you don't your team is probably going to lose again and you're going to end up eliminated!" she exclaimed.

"Leave Lindsay alone!" bellowed Tyler.

Blaineley sighed.

**Confessional: Tyler sure is protective of Lindsay.**

**Tyler: What did Lindsay ever do to you? For the last time, stop calling Lindsay stupid!**

**Lindsay: *she is scratching her head in confusion***

"Let's just get this challenge over with...I've got a schedule to keep." she said.

And so the challenge began. Unsurprisingly, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot got to go first, and therefore Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself got to try to prevent them from scoring a home run and the like.

Unsurprisingly, they chose Lightning to be the pitcher. He accepted almost immediately.

"This is going to be fun!" he exclaimed, looking forward at throwing baseballs with all of his might.

And unfortunately, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot chose Cameron to be the batter even though he wasn't very good at sports and had probably never played baseball before in his entire life considering that he was a bubble boy until the show came along.

"I'm not so sure this is a good idea..." he said.

Lightning threw the baseball...

...and it ended up in Cameron's crotch.

"Gahhh!" he exclaimed. Apparently he was in a lot of pain.

"What can I say? Lightning's a wild pitcher!" exclaimed Lightning, not feeling too sorry for the trouble had caused.

**Confessional: Strike three! You're out!**

**Cameron: Why does Lightning have to be so mean for me? That really hurt!**

**Zoey: Lightning needs to stop bullying Cameron. It's just not funny...and I'm starting to feel sorry for him.**

**Gwen: Sheesh...why can't Lightning and Cameron just get along?**

**Duncan: *he is laughing***

Shortly afterwards, Cameron was taken towards the medical tent to see if he was OK. Unfortunately, this left Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot with one less teammate to do the challenge with.

"What are we going to do?" asked Lindsay.

"I guess we're going to need a replacement batter..." stated Mike.

"But who should we choose?" questioned Zoey.

"I don't know...someone fierce, I guess." Owen answered.

Eventually, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot decided that Zoey would be the best candidate for the role.

Zoey raised an eyebrow. "How come?"

"Well, you took down Scott last season..." answered Mike.

"If you say so." she stated.

Zoey then went up to bat...

"This is going to be easy." thought Lightning.

...and scored a home run.

"What?!" he exclaimed.

To make a long story short, Zoey scored a point for her team, and it looked like Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot would be winning the challenge.

"Way to go, Zoey!" exclaimed Mike.

Of course, Blaineley was going to try to make sure of that.

"Perfect...now all I have to do now is sabotage Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself when they go up to bat..." she stated.

She then replaced their baseball bats with ones that had been weighed down with lead...baseball bats that would not be too helpful for swatting away baseballs.

"Let's see them try to win this challenge now." she thought.

_And the baseball challenge has begun! Will Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself get lucky again and bring Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot down to their level again? Or will Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot manage to win their third challenge and once again have a significant advantage?_

_Of course, you're going to have to wait for the next chapter...so I bet you'll be hoping that it's going to come out soon...so be patient._


	10. Day 4: Home Run

Total Drama Insanity

_Well, it's time to see who ends up being the fourth contestant being voted off...this of course is the tenth chapter so it's kind of been coming to that...after that there will be eighteen campers left..._

_So, let's watch the latest bonfire ceremony, shall we? It's actually going to be kind of depressing...at least in my opinion. Possibly you'll agree..._

**Chapter 10: Home Run**

"Welcome back to Total Drama. Prior to the obnoxious commercial break, I set up a baseball stadium so that all the campers could play baseball...unsurprisingly, whoever ends up losing is going to have to vote off a teammate...personally, I'm hoping that it's going to be Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself." stated Blaineley.

"In fact, I personally decided to weigh down their baseballs so they couldn't swat them away...that way they won't be able to score and that therefore they won't be able to win! That way Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot won't be cheated out of a victory like they did last time..."

"Now then, let's get back to the show."

_At the baseball stadium..._

Deciding to pay the campers a visit, Chef realized that Blaineley was once again rigging the competition in her namesake team's favor. He immediately noticed that the bats had been weighed down with lead so that the campers couldn't carry them. He immediately frowned.

"Gosh darn it Blaineley...why you can't play fair? It's not fun to watch the show when one team topples the other time and time again...in fact it's just boring. You're going to spoil the ratings." thought Chef.

Deciding to do something about her rampant biased attitude towards Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself and possibly save the show, he switched the lead baseball bats with the ones that Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot was using.

"Hopefully this will teach Blaineley a lesson about rigging reality shows...although personally I doubt it. She is so amnesiac when it comes to learning morals." thought Chef.

He then decided to go back to the kitchen...although it wasn't necessarily where he belonged, seeing though everything he cooked tasted like burnt rubber.

He just hoped that Blaineley wouldn't notice that he had foiled her plans...of course, it would probably become apparent once Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot went up to bat, but he decided it was best not to dwell on it.

**Confessional: Things don't look too good for Team Blaineley.**

**Dawn: All of a sudden I get the feeling that we're going to lose the challenge...I don't know exactly why.**

**B: *he looks rather nervous***

**Ezekiel: Am I going to win again? I just can't help but think that we're going to win this game...we've got Lightning on our side after all.**

Shortly afterwards, it was Team Blaineley's turn to go up to bat...however, they immediately realized that something was wrong.

"I can't lift this bat...it's so freaking heavy! What's up with it?" stated Owen, even though he strained with all of his might.

Suffice to say, before he knew it, he ended up with three strikes...and he was out.

"What happened out there? It looked like you weren't even trying!" questioned Mike.

"I don't know! I think someone weighed down the baseball bats!" explained Owen.

"That's no good! How are we going to play the game now? We can't just swat the baseballs with our bare hands! We'll break them!" wondered Zoey.

"That's a question none of us know how to answer." spoke Gwen, who then let out a sigh.

Time and time again, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot were unable to lift the bats. As a result, they were unable to score, and before they knew it, it was time to go on the defensive.

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself began to wonder what was going on as well...but since they were winning a challenge they decided that it was best not to dwell on it too much.

**Confessional: Not even Batman could score a home run with this kind of cheating.**

**Dakota: What is going on? I feel like someone's sabotaging us...this isn't good! We might end up at the bonfire ceremony tonight!**

**B: *he lets out a sigh, upset that he ended up failing his team***

**Dawn: Why is Blaineley sabotaging us? I thought she was rigging our team in our favor...not our opponents.**

**Blaineley: What the heck is going on? Those baseball bats were for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself!**

**Chef: *he is busy whistling***

Suffice to say, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot was unable to score a single point that round due to the all too common three strikes and you're out rule...and soon it was Team Bridgette's turn to bat.

Once again, Blaineley decided to prevent Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself from scoring.

"This glue should stop the campers right in their tracks." laughed the demented hostess.

However, Chef once again decided to foil her plans.

"I really wish that you would stop doing this...Blaineley...I really wish you would." said Hatchet.

Being sneaky, he washed away the glue and then replaced with some oil that Team Bridgette could effortlessly slide across.

This became apparent when Cody went up to bat and began running around the track. His teammates immediately noticed how fast he was going.

"Way to go, Cody!" squealed Sierra.

"Why is he going so fast?" questioned Brick.

"I don't really care!" exclaimed Izzy.

Blaineley's right eye began to squint.

"Oh c'mon!" she exclaimed. Why was Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself winning again? She had done everything in her power to prevent her namesake team from losing. Was someone foiling her plans?

Time and time again, the hostess continued to cheat. However, every time she did so, Chef would once again spite Blaineley by using her cheating attempts against her favorite team. This made her more and more angry.

"That does it! I can't take this anymore!" she exclaimed. At this point, she decided to call it quits.

**Confessional: Right now karma has set its eyes on Blaineley. And interestingly enough it's because of Chef.**

**Blaineley: When I find out who's been foiling my cheating attempts, I'm going to (static cuts her off).**

**Chef: Oh boy, what she said is going to haunt me in my sleep tonight. I only hope that I can she doesn't find out it was me. *gulp***

**Sierra: *she is holding two pompoms* Go Cody!**

**Cody: Funny, I've never been that great at sports...why am I a pro all of a sudden?**

As time went on, Team Blaineley realized that they were losing horribly. In fact, this was their worst challenge yet.

This was noticed by Gwen, who started getting really angry.

"Ugh! This challenge isn't fair at all! What the heck is going on?!" she screamed.

Eventually, she noticed that the score was 10-1 in their opponent's favour...it was that point that she realized that they were being creamed.

Of course, the rest of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot noticed this too...although they were more optimistic about it than Gwen was.

"You know...maybe we should concede, I just can't take this horrible game anymore." said Gwen.

"Cheer up, Gwen! I'm sure we can still do this!" squealed Lindsay.

"Um, yeah." answered Tyler, who wasn't nearly so sure about that himself.

B gave her a thumbs up.

Suddenly, they noticed that Lightning went up to the field...and wouldn't you know it, he scored a home run.

"Yes! Lightning is the best player ever!" exclaimed the jock, full of himself as always.

Immediately, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself began to cheer for Lightning.

"Ugh! That's it, I'm out of here." said Gwen.

"Come back!" demanded Dakota.

**Confessional: Rage Quit!**

**Brick: I see that Gwen decided not to go down with the ship...that's actually kind of sad.**

**Lightning: I guess Gwen couldn't tolerate my sports skills and decided to quit in a huff.**

**Tyler: I suppose I can sympathize with Gwen...I've never been good at sports either.**

**Lindsay: Gwen's such a sore loser...I mean, the Playas Des Losers is a living heaven! Of course we have to get voted off to get there...**

Shortly after Gwen left, the timer suddenly ran out. Blaineley announced that it was the end of the challenge.

"Well, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself, it looks like you won again. You sure recovered from your losing streak...in fact, you'll be on a level playing field from now on." stated Blaineley, who in fact was cursing underneath her breath.

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself began to cheer, especially Ezekiel. Despite the fact that Blaineley was so biased against them, they had still managed to win twice in a row. They started to wonder if they had a guardian angel...

"As for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot, guess what? You lost again. In fact, you lost miserably! I certainly hope that you do better in the next challenge." she continued.

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot frowned. They had just lost their number advantage. And considering how badly their challenge went, who knows how many more campers they would have to vote off in the future?

Suddenly, Cameron came by wearing a bandage where Lightning had struck him with a baseball.

"What did I miss?" he questioned.

"Well, we lost the challenge, and to make matters worse Gwen decided to bail out on us." recapped Dawn.

"I know...it was actually kind of depressing." said Tyler.

"Sorry to hear that." answered the nearsighted boy.

**Confessional: How the winds of change have blown.**

**Gwen: I'm voting for Cameron...he wasn't helpful during the challenge at all.**

**Lindsay: I'm voting for Gwen...she needs to quit being such a sore loser.**

**Tyler: Gwen's got my vote...**

**Dawn: Sorry Cameron...I just don't want you to get hurt like that again...this show can be awfully dangerous...especially with people like Scott. *shudders***

_A few minutes later...at the mess hall._

At this point, Ezekiel began to wonder if he was dreaming. Did he really survive two bonfire ceremonies? Did he really win a challenge along with the rest of his team twice in a row? Did he really get the opportunity to spend more than one day on the show? These questions began to plague his mind.

"Can you pinch me to see if I'm still here? I just can't help but wonder if I've been eating lotuses or something, eh." said the farmer.

Izzy responded by pinching him on the cheek...really hard.

"Ow! Ow! Not like that! Take it easy, Izzy!" bellowed Ezekiel.

"Whoops! Sorry!" apologized the fiery redhead.

Ezekiel then realized that he wasn't dreaming, and that he had in fact was not voted off first, and had actually been on the winning team for a change.

"Maybe I died and went to Heaven? Then again that wouldn't explain why Heather and Duncan are here with me..." thought the farmer.

"I'm glad that we survived the battle...hopefully we can survive the war." answered Brick.

"To be honest, I don't think I even care about winning the million dollars anymore. I'm surrounded by morons." stated Heather.

"Even me?" questioned Duncan.

"Well maybe not you...you're just a devil." answered the girl.

"Fair enough." answered the delinquent.

"I'm just glad that I can stay with you a little longer, Cody." said Sierra.

"Hehheh, yeah." chuckled Cody nervously.

**Confessional: Heather and Duncan belong in a certain other place...of course, Scott has his own place there.**

**Cody: Maybe if I give Sierra my autograph she'll leave me alone...but somehow I don't think that's going to work.**

**Heather: Why won't Ezekiel lose already? He's only prolonging the inevitable.**

**Ezekiel: If this isn't a dream, then what am I going to dream about when I go to sleep tonight, eh? Beating Chuck Norris in a boxing match?**

**Duncan: I'm a devil, huh? Maybe I should sell my soul to demons...of course, in a movie I just watched that didn't turn out so well for the bad guy...in fact, it was rather disturbing for a Disney villain death...**

_A few minutes later...at the bonfire ceremony..._

"Welcome to another bonfire ceremony since you screwed up the challenge so badly. I swear, I'm starting to wonder if your victories back on the first two episodes of the show were just a fluke and if this team is as unlucky as Ezekiel himself." stated Blaineley.

"He actually seems to be doing quite well this season, actually. Maybe it has something to do with the lucky pendant his dad gave him. I don't know." answered Tyler.

"Of course, he did spend more time at the Playas Des Losers than any other camper in the first season...so maybe he is in fact lucky. Maybe he'll make it to the merge this season." Lindsay answered.

All the campers looked at Lindsay at curiousity.

"What? I just think the playa is awesome, that's all." said the cheerleader who had just acted somewhat out of character.

"It seems that Lindsay might have an IQ that's above zero after all. But it's not like that matters because you're going to lose this show one day or another because you are so annoying!" bellowed Blaineley.

"Hey! Leave her alone! Sheesh, I'd think you'd be nicer to a girl that has the same hair color as you." said Tyler.

"Speaking of hair colors, your hair is as white as a sheet, Dawn. Were you traumatized as a kid or something?" questioned Blaineley.

"Well, there was this one time where I found a boggart in my closet...it scared the heck out of me...it turned into Freddy Krueger and then Jason Voorhees and finally it turned into a Regenerator...and then it tried to bite me in the neck..." said Dawn, who started to look rather frightened.

B put his hand on Dawn's shoulder.

"Thanks, I needed that." she answered.

"What an unusual story. But I grow tired of talking to you guys. Time for you to get your marshmallows!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"First up is...Zoey." said the hostess.

"Next is...Mike."

"Tyler."

"Lindsay."

"Dawn."

"Owen."

"B."

"Dakota."

Cameron and Gwen were sitting without a marshmallow. Gwen didn't look too worried while Cameron began to whimper.

"And the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Well guess what? There was a tie!" Blaineley exclaimed.

"There was?" questioned Cameron.

"What are we going to do?" inquired Gwen.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll just ask the other team who they want to be kicked out of your little group...wait just a second." stated Blaineley. Immediately, she walked towards the mess hall.

She came back a few minutes later...and had a big smile on her face.

"Guess what Gwen! Today you're the big loser! Have fun being launched out of a cannon!" taunted the hostess.

The goth simply shrugged.

"To be honest, I didn't really want to compete this season...but Blaineley insisted that I go back on the show...in case you don't remember...the last time I competed I was forced to put eucalyptus leaves in my mouth, for crying out loud!" Gwen exclaimed.

"Not to mention the second time I competed I got cheated out of the game...and of course the first time I completed I lost at the last secondsimply because Owen really loves food...I mean seriously, what were the chances of that? Is there a guardian angel watching him or something?" she questioned.

"Sorry if I made you disappointed...I didn't get to keep the money anyway. Personally I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to throw away the hundred grand just for a chance to get a million...of course, it's in Duncan's pockets now..." said Owen.

"What did he ever do to deserve that money? He's probably using it to pay his own bail..." questioned Dakota.

"I'm sorry that I bailed out on you guys...I guess I just couldn't stand the pressure anymore...so I guess I'll see one of you tomorrow at the playa." said Gwen.

Afterwards, she was shot out into the night.

"Well, that was actually kind of depressing. I sure hope that she has fun at the playa." said Tyler.

"I'm sure she will." answered Lindsay.

"Well, you've lost another teammate. I hope you do better in the future." said Blaineley.

As she did so, she began chuckling for herself. As it turned out, she loved making people miserable...and Gwen was a perfect target.

"That was too easy." she thought.

**Confessional: Three guesses as to who Blaineley chose for the tie-breaker.**

**Heather: Do I even have to say who I want gone? I'll give you a hint...her name starts with a G, is four letters long, and of course, she's always sarcastic!**

Votes:

Zoey: Gwen

Mike: Gwen

Dawn: Cameron

B: Cameron

Owen: Cameron

Tyler: Gwen

Lindsay: Gwen

Cameron: Gwen

Gwen: Cameron

Dakota: Cameron

Votes:

Gwen: 6 (due to tiebreaker)

Cameron: 5

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Dakota, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Alejandro, Cody, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam, Gwen

_And it looks like Gwen is gone. Of course, it's not like she wanted to be in the game anyway...but she signed a contract and Blaineley used it to its fullest._

_And of course, Blaineley decided to kick her off simply to make her more upset. Isn't she a stinker?_

_Rest assured that she's not going to get away with how badly she's been treating the campers...after all, Chris ended up being arrested for polluting the island...as to what happens, you'll have to wait and see._

_So I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter...even if a fan favorite ended up being voted off...I assure you the next elimination isn't going to be so sad..._

_But before that we're going to host a little aftermath special...hopefully that will cheer you up..._


	11. Total Drama Aftermath 1

Total Drama Insanity

_Well, this chapter is going to be different from the chapters I've already published...why you may ask? Because in this chapter, we're going to be interviewing the four voted off contestants...some of which were voted off surprisingly...others not so much._

_So, let's see what their fans have to say...oh, and by the way, in case it's not obvious, Geoff and Bridgette will be hosting the aftermath this season..._

**Chapter 11: Total Drama Aftermath 1**

"Hello everyone, and welcome to Total Drama Aftermath, where we get to interview all the contestants that have been voted off...and who ends up winning the game." explained Bridgette. "I'm Bridgette, and this is Geoff.", pointing to her boyfriend.

"Let's get this party started!" exclaimed Geoff.

"Graarghhh!"

Curious, Bridgette and Geoff decided to look up...and discovered that James was hanging onto one of the spotlights.

"This is completely unoriginal! You already did this back on Total Drama World Tour! And on Total Drama Action, too! What the heck was the producer was thinking? I want to have a word with him!" bellowed the boy.

"Um, listen dude! I don't think you should be up there...if you're not careful, you're going to-"

Geoff was interrupted when suddenly James lost his grip and fell on the floor.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" he bellowed.

"Are you OK?" questioned Bridgette.

"What do you think?!" yelled James.

Shortly afterwards, a stretcher came so that the boy could get the medical attention he required.

"Sheesh...who would have thought that a fan of the show could be so aggressive?" questioned Bridgette.

"I know, Bridge! I heard that just a few days ago he yelled at Blaineley just because Courtney ended up being voted off first...speaking of which she's going to be our first contestant tonight!" exclaimed Geoff.

Surprisingly enough, the audience clapped and cheered as she walked on stage.

"Sheesh, I wonder why she has such a big fanbase this season...it seemed like all did this season was yell at her other campers and slap Duncan simply because he didn't rescue her fast enough..." pointed out Bridgette.

Despite the applause, Courtney was not in a good mood.

"Care to sit down?" inquired Geoff.

"Just hurry up and get this interview over with already!" demanded the counselor-in-training.

"So, how did it feel to be the first contestant voted off for a change?" inquired Bridgette.

"It freaking sucked! And it's all Ezekiel's fault! And Duncan's too! When I see them I'm going to-"

"Whoa, take it easy!" Geoff cut off Courtney. "It's just a show!"

"Just a show? I just lost a million dollars!" bellowed the CIT.

"Don't forget fifty cents." pointed out Bridgette.

"Whatever! This show is rigged, I tell you! I'll probably never get the opportunity to get that kind of money again!" Courtney screamed.

"Well, there's probably going to be another season. Cheer up!" pointed out Geoff.

"Say, Courtney, I know what might cheer you up. How about we look at your fan mail, shall we? I hear that you have a huge fanbase..." Bridgette said.

Geoff went offstage and came back carrying a heavy bag of letters. He looked like he was sweating uncontrollably.

"Er, do you need help?" inquired Bridgette.

"Don't worry Bridge, I'll be fine. Just give a few moments to catch my breath." answered Geoff.

The counselor-in-training smiled. Perhaps this interview wasn't going to be so bad after all.

However, the first "fan mail" she received was actually a hate letter.

"Dear Courtney, why the heck do you have such a huge fanbase? All you ever do is whine all day about how unbalanced the game show is! Not to mention you terrorized Total Drama Action with your lawyers just so that you could win the season! Personally, I think you're just a spoiled brat who can't stand not getting what you want! From Jake." read Bridgette.

Courtney's face turned red.

"What? How dare you! When I find out who this is, I'm going to get my lawyers and then I'll sue you into oblivion! You'll be living on the street in just a few weeks!" bellowed the CIT.

"Sheesh, someone really doesn't like Courtney." spoke Bridgette.

Bridgette opened up another letter.

"Dear Courtney, I completely agree with you! Blaineley is completely and utterly prejudiced! She named one of the teams Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself, for crying out loud! I hope she gets fired! Maybe that way you'll finally be able to win this freaking show! From James." read the surfing girl.

"Funny, wasn't that the guy who was hanging from one of the spotlights just a few minutes ago?" questioned Geoff.

"I know...it's really weird." agreed Bridgette.

Courtney smiled.

"At least someone understands me." spoke the aggressive girl.

Once again, Bridgette opened up another letter.

"Dear Courtney, go jump off the thousand-foot gorge! You deserved everything you got! From Blaineley." Bridgette read.

"Now how did that get in there? I thought that she was the hostess of this season..." wondered Geoff.

At this point, Courtney looked like she was about to scream.

"I can't take this anymore! I want this to end now!" she yelled.

"Very well then. Go and take a seat over there." spoke Bridgette, pointing to the empty peanut gallery seats.

Courtney grumbled and did as she was told, deciding to sit at the bottom.

"Our next contestant spent his time on the show trying to sabotage his teammates...for some strange reason had arguments with himself...and ended up once again being mauled by Fang the Shark, give a warm welcome to Scott!" exclaimed Bridgette.

Unsurprisingly, nobody gave Scott a warm round of applause. In fact, all of the audience members booed, and some of them threw rotten tomatoes at the teenager.

As it turns out, the evil teenager was once again in a full-body cast, and he was being pushed by an intern due to the fact that he was now in a wheelchair. Apparently Fang the Shark wasn't too friendly with him.

"Well, I guess you won't be needing a seat. Heh heh." chuckled Bridgette nervously. Why was it that Scott was always horribly injured whenever he ended up being voted off? It was something she just couldn't understand.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Just get this interview started already. I've gone through enough as it is." demanded the bad contestant.

"At least you weren't voted off first." pointed out Courtney.

"Sucks to be you." answered Scott.

"So, could you care to explain why you kept arguing with yourself this season? People think you're going crazy!" inquired Geoff.

"It's my stupid conscience! He keeps telling me not to sabotage my own team! It's getting on my nerves! And I can't take it anymore!" exclaimed the evil teenager.

"Maybe you should listen to him to a change...it seems like all you ever do when you're not crippled is spend your time causing your fellow campers grief." pointed out Bridgette.

"What can I say? I'll do pretty much anything if it means getting a million dollars! And besides, sabotaging my own team is so much fun!" he exclaimed.

"I heard that! You make me sick! I hope you never compete on Total Drama Island again! Nobody on the show likes you!" bellowed Scott's conscience.

"Shut the heck up! You're getting on my nerves!" demanded the Russell Hantz wannabe.

"Take it easy Scott, this is only going to take a minute. Well, maybe a few minutes. But you get the idea." said Bridgette.

As before, Geoff pulled out a bag of fan letters...however, said bag was very small.

"I guess you don't have a lot of fans...I wonder why..." spoke Geoff.

"Just hurry up and read them out loud already." demanded Scott.

Bridgette decided to do as he demanded.

"Dear Scott, do you think Dawn is cute? From Freddy." read Bridgette.

Scott was not amused.

"What? No way! She's just a freaky little girl that always has her head in the clouds! I'm glad I framed her up last season! She got what she deserved!" bellowed the teenager.

"OK...let's read the next letter, shall we?" answered the surfer girl, pulling out another letter from the bag.

"I wonder if it's from Blaineley." thought Geoff.

"Dear Scott, quit ripping off my style! You need to choose your own strategy! Is that too much to ask? From Russell Hantz." read Bridgette.

"Who's Russell Hantz? I've never heard of him." inquired Scott.

"Someone who's an awfully lot like you." answered Geoff.

Bridgette opened another letter.

"Dear Scott, when I catch you, I'm going to take your eyes and shove them down your pants, so that you can watch me kick the crud out of you, and then I'm going to use your tongue to paint my boat! From Jake." read Bridgette.

"Two letters from the same guy...what are the odds?" questioned Geoff.

"I wish I had a boat." said Bridgette.

"I see that my fanbase loves me." replied Scott sarcastically.

"Everyone in my fanbase loves me!" yelled Courtney.

"Whatever you say." answered the demon of a contestant as an intern dragged his wheelchair next to where the counselor-in-training was sitting.

"Our third guest of the night really loves to play video games, has hooked up with Dakota, and was the first member of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot to be voted off, please welcome Sam!" exclaimed Geoff.

Sam came onto the stage, using his crutches to get around due to his injured foot. The audience once again exploded into applause.

"Can we get this interview over with quickly? I want to get back to playing my video games...if I go too long without them I start to go crazy." asked Sam as he sat down.

"Sure sure sure. We'll wrap this up quickly." agreed Bridgette.

"So, how does it feel to be separated from Dakota again? I'm sure it must be hard on you." asked Geoff.

"I'm afraid so...although interestingly enough I ended up being voted off before she did this time...it kind of feels like we've switched roles this season. I sure hope she can cope without me." answered Sam.

"I know how you feel." spoke Bridgette, recalling how she was separated from Geoff during the first and third seasons of the show.

"So, are you ready to read your fan mail?" asked Geoff.

Sam nodded.

Geoff once again dragged in a rather heavy sack of fan mail...as before, it was hard work.

"I only have to do this nineteen more times...assuming nobody returns to the game..." he grumbled.

Bridgette pulled out a few letters to read to Sam.

"Dear Sam, what is the worst video game that you have ever played? From Sergei." read Bridgette.

"Two words: Superman 64...or as I call it Superman for the Nintendo 64." stated Sam.

"You've played that horrible game?" questioned Geoff.

"Yes, it was awful...and to think my parents decided that it was a good idea to get me that game as a birthday present...it haunts my nightmares as we speak." said Sam.

He then flashbacked to the day he got his first video game.

_Sam was excited to finally be able to play a video game. He had been looking forward to it for a long time...he had already got a console so all he needed now was a cartridge to play with._

_He looked around in amazement. Unsurprisingly, there were a large amount of video games on sale...some of which he hadn't even heard of._

_"Wow..." he thought._

_"Greetings! How can I help ye?" questioned the shopkeeper, who for some reason looked like Hagrid from Harry Potter._

_"I'm looking for a video game for my Nintendo 64..." answered Sam._

_"Alright then...how 'bout Super Mario 64?" asked the shopkeeper, handing him a cartridge._

_"Sounds good to me." agreed Sam, handing him some money._

_As he prepared to leave the store, the shopkeeper decided to give him a warning._

_"A word of advice, kid. Not all video games are good. Some of them are bad. In fact, one of them went as bad as ye can go...if ye ever see that video game, stay away from it!" demanded the clerk._

_"Whatever you say." agreed Sam._

"I now realize that he wasn't kidding...and that there are absolutely nightmarish games out there..." said the nerd.

Bridgette and Geoff nodded, as the former opened another letter.

"Dear Sam...quit playing video games! You need to exercise more! If you keep playing those all day, you're going to become fatter than Owen! From Kyle." read Bridgette.

Sam looked offended.

"You stick to your interests and I'll stick to mine." answered the nerd.

"Sheesh, someone sure likes to impose their will on others." spoke Geoff.

Bridgette opened the third letter.

"Dear Sam, why do you like to play video games so much? Do you have any other hobbies? From Wesley." read the surfer chick.

Sam simply shrugged.

"I've been playing them for quite some time now...I guess they've just grown on me. As for other hobbies...well, I like making out with Dakota." said the gamer.

"I see...now then, why don't you sit down with the rest of the voted off campers...if you please." spoke Bridgette.

Sam sat down on the peanuts gallery, trying to stay as far away as possible from Courtney and Scott, for obvious reasons.

"Our final guest of the night is a goth, rage quit during a challenge, and is allergic to eucalyptus, please welcome Gwen!" Geoff exclaimed.

The audience once again clapped and cheered, although Gwen wasn't too phased.

"I really was hoping I'd be able to spend more time at the playa before the interview." she said.

"Don't worry, we'll try to make this quick." answered Bridgette.

Gwen sat down on the interview chair, ready to answer questions.

"So...you didn't seem too phased about being voted off fourth. Have you grown tired of being on the show?" questioned Geoff.

"I guess I have...everyone knows there's more to life than money...except for maybe Heather, or Courtney, or Alejandro...or Scott. I just don't really see the need to participate in the game anymore." answered Gwen.

"She's actually got a pretty good point there...did you have any fun at all during the game?" questioned Bridgette.

"Well, to be honest, I was pretty happy when Courtney was eliminated...of course, for the rest of the show, I'm going to have to sit with her in the peanuts gallery..." said Gwen.

"I don't look forward to that anymore than you do." answered Courtney.

Geoff once again strained himself trying to carry in the huge sack of fan mail.

"I'm starting to wonder why this show is so popular..." he thought.

Bridgette once again pulled out a few letters to read out loud to Gwen.

"Dear Gwen, why are you so depressed all the time? You need to loosen up! From Sally." read Bridgette.

"What can I say? There's a lot of things wrong with the world. Like Courtney and Scott here, for example." answered the goth.

"Very funny..." replied Scott.

"What? That's preposterous! Everyone knows that the world can't exist without me!" bellowed Courtney.

"Uh-huh, sure." retorted Gwen.

Bridgette read another letter out loud.

"Dear Gwen, how's it going between you and Duncan? From Phillip." read Bridgette.

"So far so good, although I'm worried that he might cheat on me like he cheated on Courtney." answered Gwen.

Courtney's face turned red.

"When I catch that little pipsqueak I'll-"

"Courtney, watch your language! There are little kids in the audience!" warned Geoff.

The counselor-in-training simply grumbled.

"Sheesh, I'm glad that Dakota never gets that angry..." said Sam as Bridgette opened another letter..

"Dear Gwen, what is your favorite color? From Dennis." read the surfer.

"Isn't it obvious? It's black." answered Gwen.

"I guess someone couldn't think of a question to ask." Bridgette said.

"I know! I'm sure everyone on the show could figure that one out." agreed Geoff.

Bridgette opened a fourth letter.

"No fair! Why does she get four and I only get three!" demanded Courtney.

"Because you decided to shorten the interview because you couldn't take it anymore." answered the surfing girl.

The counselor-in-training facepalmed.

"Dear Gwen, I'm coming to arrest Duncan! It looks like you're going to need a new boyfriend! From Roger." read Bridgette.

"Boo hoo." replied Gwen sarcastically.

"I sure hope I don't get arrested...although personally I bet Scott will be someday." answered Sam.

Scott simply glared at the geek.

Gwen then sat down on the top of the peanuts gallery with Sam...mainly due to the fact that Courtney and Scott were sitting at the bottom.

"Well, that's all we have time for today. I'm Bridgette." said Bridgette.

"And I'm Geoff!" continued Geoff.

"We'll see you again after four more campers have been voted off." said the surfer girl.

Shortly afterwards, everyone left the aftermath studio and went straight to the Playas Des Losers...however, as the studio began to close, someone appeared on stage.

"Don't think this show has seen the last of me! I'll see to it that Blaineley is fired for replacing Chris! Just you wait!" bellowed James.

_A few minutes later..._

"Do you hear something? It sounds like a boat engine..." questioned Gwen.

"I think that someone's starting up the old Boat of Losers...but why would anyone be using it? Nowadays we're just shot out of a cannon...although personally I have to question the safety of that." spoke Sam.

Suddenly, they began to hear yelling and screaming. The voted off campers looked around and discovered that the two interns that had escorted James to the Playa Hospital earlier were trying to stop the boat.

"Well, he sure made a fast recovery." pointed out Courtney.

"I just hope that he ends up being injured again. That fall he took is going to make it in Canada's Funniest Home Videos!" chuckled Scott.

"I thought it was America's Funniest Home Videos." questioned Sam.

"Whatever!" exclaimed the evil contestant.

As the Boat of Losers sped off towards Total Drama Island, the interns realized what was going to happen.

"Blaineley's going to kill us for this..." whimpered one of the interns.

"Not if that angry fan kills her first..." answered the other intern.

_It looks like James is going to be causing trouble again...what nasty things is he going to say this time? Will the other campers decide to do something_ _about him?_

_I can tell you one thing...this is going to be a rather familiar challenge...terrifyingly familiar...heh heh heh._

_So until next time!_


	12. Day 5: An Old Challenge

Total Drama Insanity

_In this chapter, Blaineley is going to use an old challenge from the first season in order to torment the campers...what challenge you may ask? I'll give you a hint...it's going to be scary...at least for the contestants anyway..._

_And of course, James isn't going to be happy about it..._

**Chapter 12: An Old Challenge**

"Welcome to yet another episode of Total Drama Island, which for some reason is still on the air after four seasons. In the last episode, I made the Total Drama campers play a game of baseball...but for some reason, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot did really really really really bad. I really don't know why." recapped Blaineley.

"In the end, Gwen decided to bail out on her teammates because she knew they were going to lose...and she ended up being voted off at the bonfire ceremony after a tiebreaker. Sucks to be her."

"Anyways, I'm going to bring back an old challenge for this episode because I'm feeling a bit lazy today...can you guess what it's going to be?"

Suddenly, Chef decided to pay Blaineley a visit.

"Can I help you?" questioned the hostess.

Chef whispered something in Blaineley's ear.

"Oh! You want me to say the title of this season dramatically like Chris usually does. Alright then! Who will be voted off next on Total...Drama...Insanity!" she bellowed.

Afterwards, she began to cough.

"How does Chris even do that?" Blaineley wondered.

_One theme song later..._

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot weren't happy about the turns of events. It seemed like yesterday when they were toppling Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...but now they were once again facing them on equal terms.

"Sheesh, I wonder why we did so bad during the baseball challenge? Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself had no problems winning at all...it's really weird." questioned Owen.

"It didn't help that Lightning hit me with that killer baseball and I ended up being sent to the infirmiary camp...why does he always get a kick out of bullying me?" questioned Cameron.

B simply shrugged. Perhaps Lightning ended up being bullied himself when he was younger? After all, bullying was rather contagious that way.

"I guess he still thinks you're weak despite everything you did last season. You actually teamed up with him to vote off Jo." answered Mike.

"Funny, I happen to be a jock myself and I don't get a kick out of bullying other contestants...I guess he takes being one too seriously. Then again I'm not very good at being one..." replied Tyler.

"I just hope that he won't be doing that again...at least not for a while." whimpered Cameron.

"Maybe if you're lucky he'll end up being voted off at the next bonfire ceremony...assuming that we actually win this time of course." pointed out Owen.

"I guess that would be icing on the cake if we won another challenge...although seeing though what a powerhouse he is Team Bridgette will probably keep him around for a while longer..." agreed the bubble man.

**Confessional: Thankfully, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot has the hostess on their side...although Chef is supporting Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself.**

**B: *he is holding out a picture he drew of Cameron, only he has tremendous muscles***

**Tyler: Personally, I wish I was as good as sports as Lightning...although maybe if I was I'd be his spitting image...**

**Cameron: I'm starting to miss home already...at least my mother can protect me from bullies...**

**Owen: Let's just hope that we at least do better during the next challenge than we did last time...that challenge was a fiasco!**

_Let's see how the girls are doing..._

"You know it's funny...I actually miss Gwen...now that she's gone the island seems suddenly so sweet and cheerful...it's just not the same..." pointed out Dakota.

"Ah yes...it's a shame that she bailed out on us during the challenge...maybe that way she wouldn't have been voted off..." agreed Dawn.

"Wouldn't that mean Cameron would end up being eliminated?" questioned Lindsay.

"Oh, right. Wouldn't want him to go. I don't really look forward to being on this show without him." agreed Dakota.

"We can only hope that we can avoid more bonfire ceremonies in the future...I don't look forward to being separated from Mike this early on in the game." spoke Zoey.

"I actually predict that something bad is going to happen to one of the members of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...maybe I should warn Blaineley?" questioned Dawn.

"Probably not...we've only been on this island for just over four days and already it's clear how much she hates Team Bridgette...and she probably won't even listen to you..." disagreed Dakota.

"I personally wonder what exactly is going to happen then...for some reason Chris always thought it was funny whenever something crazy happened to us...like when I got attacked by mutant animals..." pointed out Zoey.

"What makes you so sure that one of the Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself members is going to have a tragedy happen to them?" questioned Lindsay.

Dakota shrugged. "Well, it's not like Dawn has ever been wrong before...although her prophecies can be rather obscure...for all we know it could be someone we like or someone we wouldn't miss if they got shot out of the Cannon of Shame..."

"We can only hope the latter, right? I'm just glad that Scott isn't going to frame me again and hopefully I can at least make it to the merge this time." spoke Dawn.

**Confessional: Does this mean that Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is going to win this time due to a technicality?**

**Dawn: *she is trying to concentrate* Now, if only I could determine who exactly is going to end up falling victim to cruel fate...let me think...**

**Lindsay: I wish I could make prophecies just like Denise here...maybe I could fight fate or something that way...**

**Zoey: I sure hope nothing bad happens to Mike...of course, Scott's already gone...but I'm still kind of worried.**

**Dakota: What kind of tragedy is exactly going to befall one of the campers? Are they going to get mauled by a bear? Are they going to drink rat poison? I'm clueless!**

_Let's head to the boys side of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

"Lightning knew that we were going to win! Lightning is the best player ever!" exclaimed Lightning.

"Well, you certainly helped...although personally I think something was wrong with our opponents...they got creamed..." questioned Cody.

"It feels funny to be separated from Gwen...she usually does better than this...then again, it's not like there aren't other pretty girls on this island..." pointed out Duncan.

"Eh? You're not going to cheat on Gwen, are you?" asked Ezekiel.

"What? Of course not! I just like flirting with girls..." spoke the juvenile delinquent.

"I do that all the time." answered Alejandro.

"Yeah, that's because you always use your good looks to your advantage." pointed out Cody.

"It's not like it's the only strategy I ever used..." spoke the manipulator.

"It was pretty much your main strategy. I personally reccommend that you start treating your fellow campers with retrospect." answered Brick.

"Too bad the girls have caught on to my tricks...what's a guy to do?" questioned Alejandro.

**Confessional: If only Alejandro would start playing the game fairly...**

**Cody: Personally, I haven't really flirted with anyone...except maybe for Gwen. On the other hand, Sierra tends to flirt with me a lot...I think she wants to make out with me...**

**Ezekiel: Alejandro completely wiped out my team last season...I sure hope that doesn't happen again eh...then again there are only two teams this season.**

**Alejandro: Maybe I could get my teammates to vote off Ezekiel...personally, I don't understand why he wasn't voted off first...in fact, he should have been off the island a long time ago.**

**Duncan: Maybe I should try flirting with Lindsay...seeing though she's dumb she probably won't realize that I already have a girlfriend...then again I don't think Tyler would be happy if I tried that. *he shrugs***

_Time to check up on the Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself girls..._

Heather felt rather satisfied. She had finally gotten the opportunity to vote off Gwen and get her kicked off the island.

Yet, she began to wonder if she and Gwen should bury the hatchet. They had been fighting each other for what amounted to three seasons...even though they often worked together during challenges.

She couldn't even remember what they began fighting about in the first place. She scratched her head to see if they could remember.

"Hey Heather! Isn't this exciting! We just won two challenges in a row!" exclaimed Sierra.

Heather then realized that she was still trapped in a cabin with Sierra and Izzy...and realized that just because Gwen was gone didn't mean that she was in heaven.

"Uh-huh, sure. Let's just hope that we can keep winning challenges...otherwise I just might vote one of you off simply so that I can get some peace and quiet." answered Heather.

"Aww! Don't be so glum! I know what will cheer you up!" exclaimed Izzy.

"Like...what?" questioned the villainess.

Suddenly, Izzy pulled out what appeared to be a lightsaber.

"Where'd you get that?!" exclaimed Heather.

"I got it from the interns' cabin! Isn't it beautiful?" squealed the redhead.

"I don't think you should mess around in there, Izzy! That's where they keep things they can use to start challenges!" exclaimed Sierra.

"But there's so much fun stuff in there!" yelled Izzy.

Heather simply rolled her eyes. Did anyone on her team have half a brain?

**Confessional: Apparently not.**

**Heather: I swear...the sooner these two are voted off...the sooner I can get my beauty sleep.**

**Izzy: I also found this in the intern's cabin! *she pulls out a minigun* Now, what to shoot with it?**

**Sierra: Why do the interns keep so many dangerous things in the cabin? I hear that they get killed or injured all the time...**

_Later at the mess hall..._

As before, the campers started munching down on their meals, despite the fact that Chef's food usually tasted terrible. As it turns out, they were usually hungry after all the crazy challenges Blaineley put them through.

"I sure wish we had a better cook." spoke Heather.

Cody simply shrugged. "We've already put up with his cooking for three seasons...why can't we put up with it for this one?

"I personally don't see why you're complaining." pointed out Brick.

"That's because you have virtually no taste buds whatsover." replied Heather sarcastically.

"What did he ever do to you?" questioned Ezekiel.

The villainess simply shrugged. "I guess I need to find a new nemesis now that Gwen's gone. I don't know."

Suddenly, Blaineley decided to pay the campers a visit once more. Curiously enough, she was dressed in a witch's costume. Apparently she liked to dress up for challenges just like Chris did at times.

"Oh? Is it time for the next challenge?" questioned Lindsay.

"Curiously enough, you're right Lindsay. In fact, it's going to be an old challenge that some of you may remember from the first season."

Tyler immediately gulped.

"I'll give you a hint...some of you probably had nightmares when you went to sleep during that particular episode...any ideas?" questioned the hostess.

"It was Phobia Factor, wasn't it?" answered Duncan.

"That is correct! Well, guess what, you're going to have to face your fears all over again! Have fun wetting your pants!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Oh no..." thought Tyler. Was he going to get voted off yet again? He always seemed to cost his team challenges...

**Confessional: On Total Drama Island everyone in the world can hear you scream!**

**Lindsay: I sure feel bad for Thomas...I heard that he's afraid of chickens!**

**Lightning: This challenge is going to be easy! Lightning fears nothing!**

**Chef: I wonder what Blaineley is afraid of...probably being fired.**

**Dawn: This challenge reminds me of the Boggarts from Harry Potter...and of course the Dementors...I don't think this challenge is going to be fun for anyone...**

**B: *he has a concerned expression on his face***

"Graarghhh!" someone exclaimed.

"What was that?! Has the challenge already started?" questioned Sierra.

Blaineley immediately facepalmed, recognizing the particular voice.

Suddenly, James barged into the room...he looked very mad. In fact, his face was as red as a tomato.

"You can't just reuse an old challenge! That's not original at all! You suck, Blaineley! Why can't you use your own ideas instead of plagarizing Chris?" bellowed the teenager.

Blaineley started banging her head against the wall.

"Who the heck is this guy?" questioned Dakota. "I don't recognize him at all."

"I have no idea...he sure seems to have some anger issues though. He won't stop screaming at the top of his lungs!" answered Zoey.

"I swear, one of these days you're going to end up on the street! You are the worst hostess ever! This season has already been ruined because of you! This show is probably going to end up being cancelled, and it's going to be all your fault!" he continued.

Blaineley looked like she was about to pass out.

Eventually, the campers began to wonder if they should do about him. He was starting to get rather annoying.

"Why did Chris have to end up in prison, anyway? Turning the island into a toxic dump caused the show's ratings to soar and soar! He even introduced new campers so that people wouldn't get tired of the old ones!" screamed James.

Blaineley fell on the floor, already unconscious from the blows she took to the head.

Suddenly, Izzy noticed that Chef had decided to bake the campers some pies that particular day and had left them out so that they could eat them for dessert later.

However, she had a different idea in mind for the delicious pastry.

While James was still rambling about how the show had jumped Fang the Shark ever since Blaineley became the hostess, Izzy suddenly tossed a pie into his face.

"Aaugh!" he screamed, utterly humilated, even though said pie was cherry, his favorite flavor.

He then decided to run away, which was rather ironic given what the challenge of the day was. Apparently, James was all bark and no bite.

Shortly afterwards, Chef noticed that Blaineley had passed out on the ground and decided to wake her up by pouring water on her head.

The hostess immediately opened up her eyes, looking around to see if James was finally gone.

"You alright there, Blaineley?" inquired Chef.

"I think I will be seeing though that filthy little pest is gone. What is up with him?" questioned Blaineley.

"Beats me." answered Owen.

**Confessional: James really needs a new hobby.**

**James: *he is still crying* Wah! Boohoo! Why do they have to be so mean for me? This isn't fair!**

**Blaineley: Lousy obsessive fans...why can't they have a life outside the show? Surely they have something better to do...**

**Chef: That boy could use a few anger management classes...because if he wrecks my kitchen, he'll never see the light of day again!**

**Izzy: Yay! That was totally awesome! I want to do that again!**

**Owen: I sure am glad that Izzy got rid of him...his yelling was starting to hurt my ears.**

"Now then, let me explain to you how the challenge is going to work...granted, seeing though a lot of you competed in the first season I probably won't need to tell you what to do...but anyways, I'll explain the rules to you." said Blaineley.

"To make a long story short, I'm going to make each and every one of you face the very things that make your skin crawl. I've been watching the original season as well as Revenge on the Island so I have a general idea on what will make you soil your pants." said the hostess.

The other campers began to get worried. What exactly would she make them face?

"If you decide not to wuss out...you'll get a point for your team. But if you decide to be a chicken, I'll make you wear a chicken hat." spoke Blaineley, pulling out one as an example.

Tyler immediately whimpered.

"Wait, aren't those from the very first challenge in the show's run?" questioned Cody.

"What can I say? I'm recycling from two challenges at once. Now then, I look forward to seeing you scream, so let's go outside so that you can all see what horrors await you."

The campers did as Blaineley asked, and shortly afterwards their blood began to run cold. The island now looked absolutely terrifying. It was filled with everything that the campers was afraid of, ranging from planes, sumo wrestlers, to even Celine Dion music store standees. Blaineley had also somehow blocked out the sun...and the water around the island was now red as blood.

"She sure wants to scare us..." thought Cameron. "And to think it's not even Halloween..."

"Now then, let's see which of you are brave and which one of you are cowards...I personally look forward to this challenge...hehhehheh." stated Blaineley.

Suddenly, Chef came by and whispered into her ear.

"What? Already we're going to commercial break! Lousy stupid advertisments...fine fine fine. Feel free to take a deep breath, you chickens." retorted Blaineley.

And so the campers got ready for one of the most horrifying challenges in Total Drama history...

_It looks like Blaineley has made plans to scare the heck out of the poor campers...will any of the have heart attacks? _

_You'll have to find out in the next chapter of Total Drama Insanity...which ironically enough is going to be Chapter 13...what were the chances of that eh? Then again I decided for this to be the fifth challenge...so maybe I did this deliberately, I don't know._

_So will Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot win once again? Or will Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself lose due to the disaster that Dawn mentioned?_

_Of course, you'll find out in the next chapter...just couldn't resist the temptation of leaving you on a cliffhanger like always. So I'll see you later!_


	13. Day 5: The Crash

Total Drama Insanity

_Well, time for yet another exciting chapter of Total Drama Insanity...I hope that you'll enjoy it because I know I probably will...heh heh._

_In case it's not obvious by the chapter title, the disaster Dawn warned the other campers about is going to happen in this chapter...and it's not going to be pretty! And interestingly enough it's going to be Blaineley's fault._

_So let's get this party started!_

**Chapter 13: The Crash**

"Welcome back after that rather obnoxious commercial break. I swear, why do we even have advertisements? Virtually everyone in the universe hates them! They must be the work of the devil or something!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Now I have to recap what happened earlier...well, I decided to make the campers compete in a previous challenge...specifically, a challenge that made the campers in the first season wet their pants...Chris referred to it as Phobia Factor...which I believe is a ripoff of Fear Factor."

"Now then, let's see which of the campers are going to face their fears...and which ones are going to have to wear the chicken hat...I bet this challenge will be absolutely hilarious!"

_Let the challenge begin..._

"Now then, which one of you should go first...I know, let's pick Cameron...he looks awfully squeamish. I bet scaring him wil be easy!" taunted Blaineley.

"Uh-oh..." thought Cameron. Would he be able to pass the challenge for his team?

"Alright, Cameron, your test is to punch Lightning in the arm." said the hostess.

Reluctantly, he did as he was told...but he didn't hurt Lightning at all.

"Oh please! You hit like a girl, Cameron! You'll have to do way better than that!" exclaimed the jock.

"Not everyone can be as muscular as you, you know." answered Cameron.

"Good point." thought Tyler.

**Confessional: This challenge is going to separate the strong from the weak.**

**Cameron: Maybe I should start lifting some weights so that people won't bully me...then again maybe they're jealous of me because I'm smart...**

**Lightning: Cameron is as weak as a kitten! Seriously, he needs to exercise some more!**

**Mike: That was kind of pathetic...but at least he managed to complete his challenge.**

**Zoey: I personally would like to give Lightning a punch or two...I don't like jocks much. Tyler's alright though, so I guess I'm glad I'm on the same team as him.**

"Alright then, Sierra, your challenge is to stay fifty feet away from Cody for one whole minute." answered Blaineley.

Sierra did as asked...but immediately she began to sweat.

After thirty seconds, she ran straight into Cody's arms.

"Are you really that attached to me?" asked Cody.

"Too bad so sad! It looks like you're going to be the first one to wear the chicken hat, Sierra!" exclaimed the hostess.

Sierra frowned.

"Now then, who's going to be next? I guess I'll pick Cody...see that time bomb over there? You have just one whole minute to disarm it..." spoke Blaineley.

Cody gulped and did as she was told.

Thankfully, he had learned how to disarm one from his time away from the show...so he was able to avoid being blown to smithereens.

"Way to go, Cody!" exclaimed Sierra.

Cody smiled.

**Confessional: Cody's the bomb! Literally!**

**Sierra: *she is wearing the chicken hat* I wish I could be brave like Cody is...*sighs***

**Cody: I guess dismantling a time bomb isn't so bad if you know exactly what to do...I don't look forward to doing that again though.**

**Lindsay: Wait...did Blaineley just try to get Cody killed? I wonder what she was thinking!**

**Dawn: I'm glad that Cody defused that bomb...I wouldn't want him to get blown up...Sierra would be heartbroken...in fact she'd probably go insane...unless she is insane already.**

"Lightning, for your fear, we brought in your former baseball coach!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Lightning gulped.

"Drop and give me twenty!" demanded the baseball coach.

He immediately did as the coach said, whimpering as he did so.

"Does he get a point for this or not?" questioned Cody.

"I guess so, this is hilarious!" exclaimed Blaineley.

After Lightning did as the coach said, the hostess then turned towards Dawn.

"I know just what to do with you..." she said.

Immediately, she told Dawn to stuff herself in a garbage bag and stay inside for fifteen minutes.

"So many bad memories..." shuddered Dawn, recalling the night she was eliminated from Revenge of the Island.

Reluctantly, she did as Blaineley told her to do...unfortunately, the demented hostess then tied the bag closed, preventing the moonchild from breathing.

"I can't breathe!" she screamed.

"Fine fine fine." answered Blaineley, pulling out a knife and poking a hole in the bag.

"Aah! That nearly hit me!" Dawn bellowed.

"Don't be such a baby...unless of course, you want to leave that garbage bag and wear the chicken hat." replied the hostess.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" answered the moonchild.

Blaineley then led the remaining members of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot to face the rest of their fears.

Unfortunately, the garbage bag Dawn was in was noticed by Chef...and to make matters worse it was trash day.

"I guess I'll just stick this bag in the trash bin so that the garbage men can pick it up." thought the cook.

He then picked up the bag and tossed it inside.

"Gee, that bag was kind of heavy..." murmured Chef.

"Is someone there? Let me out!" demanded Dawn.

**Confessional: Poor Dawn. Talk about break the cutie...**

**Dakota: I feel sorry for Dawn, I don't think I would want to be in that bag either...**

**Cameron: You know, I'm starting to see why Lightning is always giving me wedgies...his coach is scary!**

**Zoey: It serves Lightning right for being so vain...**

**B: *he is worried about Dawn***

"Alright, B, for you challenge, you have to wear a nametag saying your real name." stated Blaineley.

B immediately got nervous.

Blaineley then stuck the nametag on B's shirt, so that everyone could see his real name...which unfortunately was Beverly.

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot struggled not to laugh, while Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself burst into hysterics.

B's cheeks turned red.

"You'll have to wear that for the next few minutes." explained Blaineley. "Now then, which contestant should I choose next...I know!"

She then pointed to Tyler...

"Well, Tyler, you've got a rather difficult choice here...either you can wear the chicken hat that's likely creeping you out, or you can wrestle that guy in a chicken uniform over there." spoke the hostess.

"You can do this, Thomas!" exclaimed Lindsay.

Tyler didn't look forward to wrestling a fully-grown man in a chicken costume, but he knew that he would have to wear the chicken hat if he didn't face his fear. So he decided to take his chances.

"Here I go!" exclaimed the boy.

And so the two of them got into a battle that raged on and on...and yet only took a few minutes.

Eventually, Tyler dusted him off...but as he did so, the chicken-man opened up an eye.

"I didn't know that you had it in you...especially considering what a coward you were the first season of the show...but hopefully you won't get voted off for being a chicken this season..." said Blaineley.

The jock let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully he wouldn't cost his team any challenges in the near future.

"Let's see if your girlfriend is as brave as you are...Lindsay, I'm going to give you this really ugly-looking wig...so have fun looking ugly! Unless of course you want to wear the chicken hat instead..." spoke the hostess.

Reluctantly, Lindsay put the wig upon her head.

"I think it looks nice on you." answered Tyler.

Lindsay blushed.

**Confessional: Tyler sure loves flattering Lindsay.**

**Tyler: *pant pant pant* I sure hope I don't have to do that challenge again...I'm covered in chicken feathers!**

**Chicken Man: He hasn't seen the last of me! One of these days I'm going to get my revenge! *he cracks his knuckles***

**Lindsay: Maybe wearing this wig won't be so bad...Tony said it was cute after all. *she begins to blush***

"Heather, for your challenge you're going to have to step in this ring with this fat guy over there." said Blaineley.

Standing just a few feet away from Heather was a really fat guy that made Owen seem like he was on a diet.

Heather gulped and stepped in the ring with him.

Immediately, the sumo wrestler sat on top of Heather, trapping her underneath the massive man.

"Help me..." murmured the unfortunate teen.

"What are we going to do?" questioned Cody.

Alejandro shrugged.

"I know! Let's give him a box of donuts!" exclaimed Izzy.

She then pulled out a box of Krispy Kremes.

Immediately, the sumo wrestler leapt off of Heather and started rushing towards the fiery redhead at a surprisingly fast pace...thankfully, Izzy dropped the box of donuts in time.

"You ok, Heather?" questioned Sierra.

Heather simply coughed.

"I wonder if this was the disaster Dawn warned us all about..." questioned Zoey.

**Confessional: It's going to be worse than that.**

**Heather: That was absolutely horrible...I thought for a second that I was going to die!**

**Sumo Wrestler: *he is eating all the donuts like a maniac***

**Izzy: Maybe I should give some donuts to Owen...maybe he would enjoy that!**

"Izzy and Owen, remember that crummy airplane from the first season? Well guess what, you're going to be riding it again!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"What? Everyone knows that plane is dangerous! Do you want us to get killed?!" questioned Owen.

"Maybe?" answered the hostess.

"You're crazy!" bellowed Izzy.

"And so are you. Why do you think the RCMP want you in prison so badly?" questioned Blaineley.

Izzy simply shrugged.

"Now step into the plane unless you two want to wear chicken hats." demanded the hostess.

Reluctantly, the two did as she said.

"You sure they're going to be OK in there?" questioned Mike.

"Relax, it's not like the plane has ever crashed before." answered Blaineley.

"I think Chris only ever used it once..." pointed out Zoey.

"Whatever! Anyways, Zoey...remember the mutant beavers that kidnapped you last season?" questioned the hostess.

"Um...yeah..." she answered back.

"Well, for your challenge, you're going to have to whack them with this conveniently large sledgehammer..." stated Blaineley.

Reluctantly, the indie chick did as he was told...in fact, she played a game of Whack-Of-Gopher with them.

"Well done!" exclaimed the hostess.

**Confessional: That's what they get for abducting a Total Drama contestant.**

**Mutant Beavers: Did we just get beat up by a girl? That's actually kind of embarrasing...**

**Zoey: Hopefully after that they won't try to kidnap me again...then again, Mike would probably be able to rescue me...**

**Mike: I'm glad that Zoey is so brave...personally I wonder how I'm going to do during my fear challenge...**

"Mike, for your fear, you have to reveal your little disorder to everyone on the island." answered Blaineley.

Immediately, the contestants that hadn't competed in Revenge of the Island became curious.

Suddenly, Mike's multiple personality disorder once again kicked in...in this case, it was Svetlana.

Unfortunately, this wasn't exactly helpful for the challenge. Immediately, he screamed like a girl and ran away.

"Oh dear." thought Zoey.

"I guess Mike literally screams like a girl...which is too bad because he will now be wearing the chicken hat." answered Blaineley.

"I guess we're tied then." spoke Ezekiel.

**Confessional: Mike's Multiple Personality Disorder has struck again!**

**Mike: That was really embarrasing...why did my MPD have to go off at that particular time? Curse my luck...**

**Zoey: I still think Mike is a hero...even if he did chicken out...**

**Blaineley: Forget Total Drama Island, that belongs in Canada's Funniest Home Videos! Or was it America's Funniest Home Videos? Either way it's definitely going to bring in ratings!**

Keeping track of the time, B realized that the time that Dawn was supposed to be in the trash bag was now up...but unfortunately it seemed Blaineley had forgotten all about her.

He tried to get her attention, but unfortunately she wouldn't listen to him at all.

"Not now! Can't you see I'm trying to host a challenge here! Just wear your stupid nametag and you'll be done!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Getting desperate, he decided to look around and see if Dawn was OK.

Curious, he decided to check the garbage bin to see if anyone had placed her in there by mistake.

As it turns out, she was in there...and was squriming to get out of her bag.

"Let me out already! It's getting hard to breathe!" demanded Dawn.

Thankfully, B manages to open the bag so that the moonchild could finally be free. Suffice to say she was in a rather happy mood.

"Thank you so much! I thought for a moment I was going to die in there! What was Blaineley thinking?" exclaimed Dawn, who gave B a hug.

B simply smiled.

"Wait, your real name is Beverly?" questioned the moonchild, noticing the nametag on his shirt.

B nodded sadly.

"Funny, I actually think that's kind of cute." answered Dawn.

B's cheeks turned red.

**Confessional: Could this be the start of something special?**

**B: *his cheeks are still red***

**Dawn: I'm glad that B came back this season...he's a hero!**

**Chef: Wait, there was a camper in that garbage bag? Boy do I feel sheepish...**

**Dakota: Funny, part of me wishes that Sam would do something like that for me...then again, I don't want to risk my life unneccessarily.**

"Alright Ezekiel, for your challenge, you have to ride this scary-looking bull." said Blaineley.

Ezekiel immediately became nervous. Nonetheless, he did as he was told.

Unfortunately for Ezekiel, the bull started trying to shake him off. Fortunately for Ezekiel, he was able to hold on.

"I wonder how long he'll be able to stay on that thing?" questioned Cody.

"Probably for a long time." answered Brick. "That lucky pendant of his has done wonders for him."

"I wish I had a lucky pendant." murmured Heather.

Eventually, Ezekiel was forced to let go...but thankfully he landed on his hands and feet.

"Again, I wish I had a lucky pendant." thought Heather.

"Whoa, I feel so dizzy..." said the farmer.

"Now then, for your challenge, Alejandro, you're going to have to cover your face with this bacon grease." Blaineley stated.

"No way no way! I'll get pimples!" exclaimed the teenager.

"Fine, but you'll have to wear the chicken hat." continued the hostess.

Suddenly, the campers heard the sound of an engine failing. They looked up and discovered that the plane Izzy and Owen was in was falling out of the sky due to how cheaply made it was. Of course, it didn't help that Blaineley had forgotten to give it some fuel.

"Huh, maybe I should have listened to them. That plane really was poorly made." thought Blaineley.

"Run!" everyone screamed.

Thankfully, nobody was hurt by the plane crash, as Izzy and Owen managed to parachute out in the nick of time. Well, almost nobody.

"Hmm?" thought the teenage manipulator, wondering why everyone was running away screaming at the top of the lungs.

Unfortunately for Alejandro, the plane ended up crashing straight on top of him, engulfing him in a massive explosion. Thankfully, due to the fact that he was a cartoon character, he was able to survive the crash...although he was still badly injured.

"Ow ow ow..." thought the teenager. Unsurprisingly, he was in a large amount of pain. In fact, he was hardly able to move.

"Oh dear." said Heather.

"What happened?" questioned Brick.

"That sure was a pretty big explosion...how did he even survive that?" asked Cody.

"Maybe because he was a cartoon character? That's the only explanation I can think of for this." questioned Sierra.

"Please don't break the fourth wall guys. It makes me feel so funny." demanded Brick.

They then looked at Alejandro, who was horribly charred and had several bones broken from the explosion.

"Yikes. That's going to leave a mark!" exclaimed Izzy.

"Oh dear oh dear. It looks like Alejandro is going to have to be removed from the game!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"What?!" bellowed the other Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself members.

"It says in your contracts that if a camper is badly injured and cannot compete in any future challenges, then they're out of the game! Enough said! Sucks to be you guys!" continued the hostess.

"Aw, man!" shouted the team.

"In other words, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot wins by default!" exclaimed Blaineley. "Have these toys of popular horror icons!"

Reluctantly, the Team Blaineley members accepted their prize.

"This doll is really creepy...and why is it covered with scars?" questioned Owen, who was holding a Good Guy doll.

Suddenly, the Good Guy doll started trying to stab him in the heart with a knife.

"Gah!" he screamed.

**Confessional: Poor Alejandro.**

**Dawn: This is just what I predicted that would happen...I'm starting to wonder if this show is too dangerous for me...**

**Heather: I honestly don't know what to say about this...something tells me he's going to have to wear that Darth Vader suit again.**

**Alejandro: Nooooooooo!**

**Ezekiel: *sigh* I guess that's the end of our winning streak...sheesh, Alejandro just can't seem to get a break.**

_A few minutes later..._

Alejandro was shot out of the Cannon of Shame towards the Playas Des Losers. Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself dropped their heads sadly, realizing that they were once again one member short of their opponents.

"That's what he gets for being on such an ugly person's team. I personally hope that something like this will happen to Bridgette herself!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Blaineley!" bellowed Cody.

"Now then...what should I choose for the next challenge? So many possible choices..." questioned the hostess.

"Hopefully something that doesn't involve cheaply-built planes." answered Brick.

"Whatever! So until the next episode, I'm Blaineley, and this is Total Drama Island! I'll see you on the next episode...which hopefully will end with another loss for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself!" exclaimed Blaineley.

(As Alejandro was removed by default, no votes were cast)

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Dakota, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Cody, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam, Gwen, Alejandro

_It looks as if tragedy has befallen Alejandro...of course, Dawn predicted something like this would happen, so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise._

_Still, will Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself lose for the fourth time without him? Or will they be able to win the next challenge without his assistance?_

_You'll have to find out on the next episode...which will feature a certain Popcap game..._


	14. Day 6: Blaineley Vs Bridgette

Total Drama Insanity

_In this chapter, the campers are going to use vegetation to fight off campers that just so happen to be undead...well, something like that anyway..._

_Can you guess what challenge this is going to be based on? I'm going to give you a hint...it's one of the games invented by Popcap...in fact there's a sequel coming out that I'm looking forward to..._

**Chapter 14: Blaineley vs. Bridgette**

"In the last episode, I made the campers participate in a very scary challenge...one that would make them soil their pants...to be specific, I made them participate in a challenge that just so happened to be from the first season of the show...why Chris never reused old challenges I may never know." Blaineley recapped.

"Surprisingly, most of them were brave...personally, I was expecting the majority of the campers to run home to their mothers...of course, then again many of the campers had already participated in the challenge..." she continued.

"Among other things, Heather ended up being sat on by a morbidly obese sumo wrestler, Tyler had to wrestle an intern in a chicken suit, Owen and Izzy had to ride a plane, Cameron had to punch Lightning in the arm, and Lightning had to do push-ups for his former coach! And yes, it was absolutely hilarious to watch. For me, anyway. I don't know about you."

"Unfortunately, the challenge was cut short when suddenly the plane Izzy and Owen was in crashed into the ground. Thankfully, they managed to parachute out in time...but the plane fell on top of Alejandro and he ended up badly injured...to make a long story short, I had to boot him out of the game. What an unlucky dude he turned out to be!"

"Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is now down one member...I certainly hope that more disasters will happen to Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself in the near future...that way everyone in Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot will make it to the merge. Then again, considering that Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself has won twice so far...

You know what, let's just wrap this up. Somebody play the theme music!"

_One theme song later..._

"I tried to warn Blaineley that the plane was unsafe...but she didn't listen to me. Personally I regret ever flying it..." stated Owen.

B put his hand on Owen's shoulder.

"Thanks, I needed that." answered the chubby boy.

"Ah yes, that was a tragedy, wasn't it? To think that plane crashes like this happen all the time...no wonder airports are all about security." questioned Cameron.

"It makes me wonder why Chris never installed a metal detector or anything when we went on a world tour with him." said Tyler.

"Maybe he figured that we wouldn't need it, I guess. Still, I feel like Blaineley could have done something to prevent the plane from crashing. Maybe put it in auto pilot instead of making one of the interns fly it around? I think he probably didn't even have a license." noted Owen.

"That would explain why the plane crashed and burned so horribly." agreed Cameron.

B started to become worried. If there were any more vehicle-related challenges in the near future, bad things would probably happen.

"At least you didn't chicken out like I did...lousy multiple personality disorder." mumbled Mike.

"To be fair, it was awfully funny." replied Cameron.

"Not to me it wasn't." he answered.

"Funny, I can't help but shake the feeling that the chicken man is going to try to get revenge on me some day...then again maybe it's just my imagination." said the jock.

"I sure hope so. I don't think I'd be able to eat a chicken if it was as big as he was. Why is an intern dressing up as a chicken anyway? Did he use to work at Kentucky Fried Chicken or something?" wondered Owen.

**Confessional: Tyler's not a chicken...but his archenemy certainly is.**

**B: *he is holding out a picture of Dawn with a heart on it* *his cheeks turn red***

**Cameron: I wonder why Tyler is afraid of chickens anyway? Did they try to peck him or something?**

**Owen: I'm starting to wonder if Blaineley had deliberately endangered our lives using that faulty airplane...if so I have a few words to say to her...**

**Tyler: I can only hope there's not going to be a round two...I don't think I'm ready for that yet.**

**Mike: I hope Zoey still thinks I'm a man even though I screwed up the fear challenge...**

_Meanwhile on the girl's side of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot..._

"It was just as I predicted...someone ended up getting badly hurt...and he was part of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..." sighed Dawn.

"He was a manipulator anyway. He wiped out Team Victory! Including me!" pointed out Lindsay.

"Sorry to hear that. He sure got a lot of campers kicked out of the game, didn't he?" answered Zoey.

"I sure hope that doesn't happen again...at least not in the near future. I swear, people on this show get injured all the time. Just look at all the poor interns. I wish I never became one...I became a mutant!" agreed Dakota.

"I suppose you can blame Chris for that one. He really needs to stop playing with nuclear waste. I wonder if he mutated into a cockroach or something. That would teach him a lesson or two." replied the indie chick.

"Sometimes I wish that I couldn't make prophecies..." thought Dawn. "You can never fight fate."

"That's a rather unfortunate truth of life." agreed Zoey. "Then again, maybe not everything in life is predetermined..."

"I just hope that this doesn't happen to anyone else on the show...I don't know what would I do if a plane ended up falling on B..." said Dawn.

"You really like him, don't you?" questioned Dakota.

"Er, maybe?" answered the moonchild, not entirely sure how she felt.

**Confessional: I think we all know the answer to that one.**

**Dawn: If it weren't for B, I'd still be trapped in that garbage bag...**

**Zoey: Maybe Dawn will get a boyfriend like Dakota and I have...you never know.**

**Dakota: I miss Sam...I sure hope that he's having fun at the playa. Then again the playas des losers is always fun...**

**Lindsay: Ali got what he deserved! And so did Scotch apparently!**

_Now let's check on the boys of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

"Part me of feels unhappy that Alejandro is gone. Maybe if I wasn't wearing my lucky pendant I would have been the one that was crushed underneath the plane eh..." questioned Ezekiel.

"Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. Blame Blaineley and her faulty aircrafts." answered Brick.

"I never liked him anyway." retorted Duncan.

"Why not?" questioned Brick.

"He always seemed so full of himself...I thought that he needed to be taught a lesson. Goodbye and good riddance, I say." answered the juvenile delinquent.

"But a plane fell on top of him! Don't you think that was extreme? He's probably going to have to wear a Darth Vader suit again eh." questioned Ezekiel.

"Big deal. Last time he competed he ended up being roasted by lava. I'm surprised that he even survived that to be honest. That lava was probably over three thousand degrees fahrenheit." pointed out Duncan.

"Or 3000 degrees celsius!" replied Lightning.

"Yeah, what you said." answered the delinquent.

"Ouch. That is something that I would never dive in. In fact, I'd rather dive in ice cold water than do something crazy like that." murmured Brick.

"I wonder if he's ever going to compete again after that...then again having to wear that Darth Vader suit didn't stop him from returning for the fifth season..." pointed out Cody.

"I guess he must be persistent...just like me eh..." answered Ezekiel.

**Confessional: Who's going to get injured next?**

**Duncan: I'm going to rewatch Alejandro getting crushed underneath a plane after the show is released on DVD...that was priceless!**

**Brick: People on this show get injured a lot, don't they?**

**Ezekiel: Part of me wonders if Duncan is going to be the next contestant to go...Scott and Alejandro already suffered horrible fates eh.**

**Cody: Sheesh...why does this show have to be so violent?**

_Meanwhile in the girl's side of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

"Have you seen Heather?" inquired Izzy.

"Actually, I haven't...I think she said that she wanted to be by herself...and that we were driving her crazy.

"I don't see what the big deal is! I'm always crazy!" exclaimed the redhead.

Sierra sweatdropped.

"She's probably up to no good...maybe she's going to cheat someone out of the game?" questioned Sierra.

"Maybe! Then again the show is called Total Drama Island!" exclaimed Izzy.

"That doesn't mean that there has to be people like Heather on the show..." questioned Sierra. "And to think she actually won season three..."

"I know! What were the chances of that? Why didn't Team Amazon vote her off, anyway?" asked Izzy.

Sierra simply shrugged.

"To be honest...I only think that Team Amazon was at a barf bag ceremony once...on the other hand, Team Victory lost every single elimination challenge they ever competed in...what were the odds of that?" she explained.

"You can blame Alejandro for that one!" exclaimed the redhead.

"Ah yes...I don't feel too sorry for him after all the people he got eliminated..." spoke Sierra.

"I know! Wasn't that plane crash wicked?!" bellowed Izzy.

"Weren't you in that plane crash?" asked the Cody fanboy.

"I was?" answered Izzy.

Sierra sweatdropped.

"I'm starting to see why Heather decided to leave the cabin for the day..." she mumbled.

_Meanwhile outside the cabin..._

"Finally I can get some peace and quiet. I just couldn't stand being with those two anymore." Heather thought to herself.

Personally, she found it ironic that Alejandro ended up being sent off the island due to injuries after what happened last season.

Of course, she had also been injured after she tried escaping the island during the volcanic eruption...and due to Ezekiel she did not end up getting the money.

"Curse that farm boy..." she thought.

Nonetheless, she was certain that she would be able to win the game. Granted, everyone on her team was either crazy or incompetent, but for the same reason they would not be a threat to her during the merge.

She just hopped that Blaineley would not try to continue to rig the competition in Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot's favor...it was getting on her nerves and she really wanted it to stop.

"Stupid Blaineley...always taking out her anger on a team that she named after someone she really hates..." she mumbled.

On the other hand, her recent attempts to foil Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself had actually gone in their favor...she in particular remembered the baseball challenge where Gwen ended up being eliminated. Personally, she hoped that something similar would happen in the near future.

Then again, if neither Izzy or Sierra were voted off soon...she might eventually go crazy just like them. After all, every night she had to sleep in a cabin with the two. She began to wonder if she should simply ask Blaineley if she could switch teams.

"Why did Blaineley even make me bunk with them?" questioned Heather.

**Confessional: Possibly because Blaineley doesn't like her...I don't think many people do.**

**Heather: Now then...which of my teammates should I take with me to the merge? So many possibilities...**

**Izzy: *she is holding out a Blaineley voodoo doll* I wonder what will happen if I poke it with this needle? *starts poking it***

**Blaineley: OW! Why does my arm hurt so much all of a sudden? It feels someone keeps poking me! I want it to stop!**

**Sierra: Is Izzy playing with a voodoo doll? She should know those are dangerous!**

_Meanwhile in the kitchen..._

Chef Hatchet realized that his latest newspaer had arrived, and as before, he decided to give it a quick read.

"I wonder why the newspaper is so ridiculous these days." he spoke to himself.

Apparently, Phineas and Ferb had killed their sister by making her listen to the Gummy Bear Song until her head exploded after she threatened to reveal their evil schemes to the authorities.

"Well, apparently that wasn't such a good idea." he thought.

Also, for some strange reason, their pet platypus was actually a secret agent, who spent his life stopping Dr. Doofenshmirtz from succeeding in his evil plans.

"Wait, their platypus is a secret agent? What were the chances of that?" he muttered.

However, as of late, his boss Major Monogram had sent him to stop Phineas and Ferb from blowing up the Tri-State Area...apparently Dr. Doofenshmirtz wasn't nearly such a threat and that the OWCA were now sending a snail to deal with him.

"A snail? Just how incompetent is this Dr. Doofenshmirtz fellow anyway?" questioned Chef.

"What are you reading?" asked Blaineley.

Chef looked startled.

"Oh, I didn't see you there." answered the cook.

"I'm getting ready for the next challenge...and I want you to dress up as a zombie." explained the hostess.

"A zombie? What for?" asked Hatchet.

"We're doing a Plants vs. Zombie challenge." explained Blaineley.

"A Plants vs. Zombies challenge?" inquired Chef.

"Hey, you don't question the challenges I come up with and I won't question if you ever graduated from culinary school." answered the mean hostess.

Chef sweatdropped.

"So, why are you reading the newspaper so much anyway? Is something crazy happening?" questioned Blaineley.

"Well, you see, two kids named Phineas and Ferb are wreaking havoc all across Canada...I'm starting to wonder if they're going to cause a zombie apocalypse like that Popcap game you're using for a challenge." answered Hatchet.

"What? Let me see that!" demanded the hostess of Total Drama.

Curious, Blaineley decided to read the newspaper to see if what Chef had told her was actually true. Much to her surprise, what Chef had told her was actually happening.

"They made their own sister's head explode by making her listen to the Gummy Bear song? OK, even I have to admit that's cruel." she noted.

Chef raised an eyebrow.

"Well, if you excuse me, I'm going to go dress up as a sunflower." Blaineley stated.

Chef Hatchet simply rolled his eyes. What would it be like to dress up as a zombie?

**Confessional: Poor Candace. Then again she was kind of annoying...although not as annoying as Irving, of course.**

**Chef Hatchet: Sheesh...I knew Phineas and Ferb were bad...but I didn't think they would commit sororicide...then again their incredible evil never ceases to astound me.**

**Blaineley: Who would have thought that two boys could be so bad? They're even worse than Duncan...and of course me. But unlike them, everybody loves me!**

**Phineas: Yes, we killed our own sister! And it was absolutely hilarious!**

**Ferb: Killing people is fun. Lots of fun. Lots and lots of fun.**

**Perry the Platypus: *he is growling***

**Cameron: Funny, I could have sworn I just saw two young boys and a platypus enter the confessional...but when I rubbed my glasses they disappeared! Maybe I was just seeing things.**

_A few minutes later..._

"I wonder what challenge it's going to be this time?" questioned Lindsay.

"I sure hope it doesn't involve any more chickens..." answered Tyler.

"Whatever challenge it is, Izzy's ready for it!" exclaimed Izzy.

"I sure hope so." replied Heather.

"Maybe it's going to be eating Chef's cooking?" questioned Brick.

"That would probably be a challenge Blaineley would put us through." noted Dawn.

Lightning and B gulped.

"Hey campers! It's time for your next challenge!" exclaimed Blaineley.

The campers left the mess hall and went to find the hostess.

"Where on the island could she possibly be?" wondered B.

Unsurprisingly, she was standing outside...and for some strange reason, she was dressed up as a sunflower. Also, Chef was dressed up as a zombie. The campers immediately became curious.

"What kind of challenge is this supposed to be?" inquired Cody.

"Oh, just a popular game that you can get on an Ipad." explained Blaineley.

"Oh! I know this game! It's Plants vs. Zombies!" exclaimed Izzy.

"Plants vs. Zombies eh? I've never heard of it eh." answered Ezekiel.

"That's because you've lived underneath a rock your whole l-I mean at a farm. Of course, considering you probably grow plants there, it's rather ironic..." retorted the hostess.

"So what are we supposed to do?" asked Sierra.

"Oh, it's simple really. Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot are going to be plants. Their job is to prevent the zombies from entering that house over there and eating the owner's brains..." explained Blaineley.

"Eating their brains?" questioned Zoey.

"All of a sudden I feel squeamish." agreed Mike.

"As for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...since you guys are so ugly, you're going to be playing as the zombies...your job, of course, is to break into the house and well, eat some brains." continued the hostess.

"Now this is my type of challenge." thought Duncan.

"So to make a long story short, get ready to soil your plants! Now then I'm going to give you some gear so that you can play as a certain type of plant or zombie...don't ask me where I got it from because it doesn't matter!" she exclaimed.

"Whatever you say. Just take it easy, will you?" answered Cameron.

**Confessional: Ready, set, plant!**

**Cameron: *he is a Magnetshroom* I don't get it...what is this plant supposed to do? Pick up loose change or something?**

**Dakota: *she is a sunflower* Am I supposed to make sunlight or something? I don't understand...**

**Lightning: *he is a quarterback zombie* Lightning can be a zombie and a quarterback? Who knew?**

**Mike: *he is a Wall-Nut* Something tells me I'm just here so that I can provide defense...*he sighs***

**Ezekiel: *he is a Balloon Zombie* Why would a zombie ever use a balloon anyway eh? Personally I wish I could be one of the plants. Ah well.**

_So, will Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot manage to save the brains of a random gardener? Or will Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself going to gorge themselves?_

_Of course, another camper is going to be voted off...but you probably don't want me to tell you which one...so you'll find out in the next chapter!_


	15. Day 6: Zombies Have Eaten The Campers

Total Drama Insanity

_It's time to see whose going to be voted off next...again, it's probably going to be a rather surprising one...after all, it wouldn't be as entertaining if it was one that you saw coming, wouldn't it?_

_Of course, you probably already saw Courtney, Scott, and Alejandro's eliminations coming...but they were rather comical so I figured you'd let it slide. Then again some of you probably don't have a sense of humor..._

_Now then, let's see what happens next...I left you at a cliffhanger after all...and I don't want you to be left hanging for too long._

**Chapter 15: Zombies Have Eaten The Campers**

"Welcome back to Total Drama Insanity...unless of course you hate the show, in which case, go jump off the Thousand-Foot Gorge! Even your mother hates you! And she wishes that you were never born!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Now then, let me recap what happened at the start of the show...right now, the campers are playing a game of Plants vs. Zombies...since I hate Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself so much I decided to make them be the zombies...personally I'd like to see them enter the house considering how slow zombies always are..."

"Of course, that means Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot are going to be playing as the plants...I'm certain they can stop the zombies...I mean, think about it? When have the zombies ever won a game of Plants vs. Zombies before? You're the one that's playing as the plants, for crying out loud!" Blaineley continued.

"Now then, let's watch the challenge even though you already know that Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot is going to win this, shall we? I mean, come on, do you honestly expect Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself to win? They're a bunch of losers!"

_Let's check to see how Team Blaineley is doing, since Blaineley loves them so much and wants them to win this challenge..._

"Why am I a sunflower? I don't really understand how I'm supposed to fight against the zombies this way...I can't shoot a single pea!" asked Dakota.

"I guess Blaineley thought that you looked like one...although personally I think you look more like a Daffodil." answered Zoey, who was a Chomper.

B pulled out a picture of Dakota dressed as one, causing her to sweatdrop.

"Maybe I should start calling you something like that?" asked Mike.

Zoey's cheeks turned red as her hair.

"Funny, I thought that Coffee Beans were required to wake a Magnet-Shroom up during daytime levels...and yet I feel pretty rather energetic...by the way, when do you think Blaineley is going to release the zombies?" questioned Cameron.

Owen shrugged. "I guess she wants us to be ready for when they actually arrive..."

B nodded his head in agreement.

As it turns out, Dawn was a Marigold, and was producing coins. Unfortunately, zombies were unable to be bribed, as instead of wanting money they wanted brains.

"I don't see how this is supposed to help me during the challenge...although I can probably buy something nice later." she thought.

**Confessional: The zombies are coming!**

**Cameron: Zombies give me the creeps...did Blaineley really have to put me in a challenge filled with them?**

**Dawn: At least my team will get a consolation prize if we lose...those coins sure look valuable...**

**Lindsay: I don't get it...what am I supposed to do again? Am I supposed to shoot something?**

**Tyler: I heard that there are football zombies in this game...I wonder if zombies are better at playing sports than me...**

**Owen: Funny, part of me wishes that I was a zombie...I'd be able to eat anything I wanted...although personally I'm not sure if I want to eat brains...**

_Meanwhile on the other side of the lawn..._

"Ugh, I can't believe Blaineley is making me a zombie." stated Heather. "Do I even look like one to you?"

"I don't see why you're complaining! Izzy loves being a zombie!" exclaimed Izzy.

"That's because you're a freak that was engineered with no brain. Sheesh, I wonder why the RCMP haven't arrested you yet." answered the villainess.

"Actually, Izzy has an IQ of 180." pointed out Cody.

"Really? I personally wonder why Blaineley made her a mindless zombie instead of a plant." questioned Brick.

"Yeah, she doesn't really put it to good use though." continued the teen.

"How very odd." thought Sierra.

"We're going to eat their brains!" exclaimed Lightning.

**Confessional: For some strange reason, brains taste just like chicken. Except for the occasional one that tastes like asparagus.**

**Heather: Blaineley's probably laughing at me as we speak...I hate being a zombie so much...**

**Lightning: Being a football zombie is awesome! Lightning's going to reach the house for sure!**

**Cody: I'm just glad that they're aren't any lawnmowers to run us over...that sure sounds painful.**

**Sierra: If any of the plants shoot Cody they're in for it!**

After a few minutes had elapsed, Blaineley blew on a horn. Apparently it was time to begin the challenge.

"Here they come..." said Cameron nervously.

Sure enough, the zombified Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself members began walking towards the house.

"We can do this, my zombie friends!" exclaimed Brick.

"I sure hope so." said Cody.

Unfortunately, he ended up at a road block, in this case a Wall-Nut.

"Gosh darn it! How am I going to get through that?" he questioned.

Immediately, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot got ready to fire.

"Uh-oh..." Cody thought.

And to make matters worse, Zoey was waiting behind Mike, ready to eat any zombies that were behind her boyfriend.

"D'oh..." he murmured.

Unsurprisingly,

"Well, I guess my team is going to have to go on without me..." the boy murmured.

Unfortunately for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, this made Sierra really mad.

"You'll pay for this! I'm going to swallow you whole!" she bellowed.

And to make matters worse, she was a pole-vaulting zombie...which allowed her to leap over Mike.

"Uh-oh..." he thought.

She then began eating Zoey to avenge Cody...and before long, Zoey was out of the competition.

**Confessional: Roaring Rampage of Revenge.**

**Mike: At least Sierra wasn't a Pogo Zombie...they can hop over any Wall-Nuts they want instead of just one...**

**Cody: Whoa...Sierra must love me a lot...or maybe she's overly obsessed with me like she usually is...**

**Zoey: Sheesh...remind me not to try to kick Cody out of a challenge again...**

**Sierra: *her face is red with rage* Zoey...will...never...mess...with...my...Codykins. ..again!**

A few minutes after Sierra ate Zoey, more members of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself started heading towards the lawn.

"Funny, I personally wish that I was a Gatling Pea..." thought Brick.

As before, the plants began to open fire on the zombies. Fortunately for Ezekiel, he was wearing a bucket on his head, so they didn't harm him much.

"Funny, for some strange reason, I thought that this bucket would come in handy eh. I guess I was right." Ezekiel talked to himself.

"How are we going to get that bucket off his head?" questioned Dawn.

"Leave that to me." answered Cameron.

Unfortunately for Ezekiel, Cameron was able to take the bucket away from him.

"My bucket! No! Now how am I supposed to defend myself?!" exclaimed the farm boy.

This gave the other plants enough time to remove the boy from the competition...albeit not before he ate Dawn.

"I wasn't helping my team much anyway..." she thought. "Although I probably produced enough coins to give them a few dollars or so..."

**Confessional: Magnet-Shroom is the bane of players that play a game of I-Zombie.**

**Ezekiel: Darn it! Cameron took my bucket! What's the big idea, eh?**

**Cameron: I have to admit, being a Magnet-Shroom sure is useful.**

**Lindsay: Way to go, Kyle!**

**Tyler: Well, that's another zombie down.**

Suddenly, Lightning started running towards the house. Unfortunately for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, their peas bounced off of his football armor, and before long he ate Mike.

"Lightning's the powerhouse of this team!" he exclaimed.

This left the lawn with significantly less defense...and for a moment, it looked like he had doomed them.

Until Cameron removed his football helmet using his Magnet-Shroom.

"Where'd my helmet go?!" he exclaimed.

This dramatically decreased his defense, and before long he met a similar fate as Ezekiel.

Shortly afterwards, Brick tried tunneling underneath the plants so that he could reach the house, but for the third time, Cameron stole from the zombies.

"My pickaxe! I've been disarmed!" exclaimed Brick, right before he was pelted by peas and removed from the game.

"I guess we should be safe as long as Cameron is around." said Lindsay.

Suddenly, Heather dropped from the sky and picked up Cameron and his Magnet-Shroom. As it turns out, she had decided to become a Bungee Zombie.

"This is really embarrasing...but at least I got rid of that stupid Magnet-Shroom..." thought Heather.

**Confessional: See why Crazy Dave hates Bungee Zombies so much?**

**Lightning: Stupid Magnet-Shroom! I almost entered the house!**

**Heather: To be honest, that was way too easy...personally I wonder why my team didn't do something about Cameron before...probably because they're a bunch of morons.**

**Cameron: I guess Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself decided to do something about me and my giant magnet...**

**Blaineley: I am so glad that I made Cameron a Magnet-Shroom...they are so deliciously overpowered. Now Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is never going to win!**

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself continued fighting against Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, but it became clear that they were losing. They had already lost of their team...and several members of Team Blaineley were still standing. Were they going to have to vote off another camper?

"To be honest, I'd like to see us win this challenge now..." said Duncan. "They just took out Lightning for freak's sakes."

"We do seem to be a problem...personally I don't want to lose another challenge after what happened to Alejandro..." agreed Brick.

"I didn't like this challenge anyway...I'm on a team full of freaking zombies." pointed out Heather.

"By the way, where's Izzy eh? She seems to have vanished from the lawn all of a sudden." asked Ezekiel.

Ezekiel's question was answered when suddenly Izzy came by wielding a flag with a bunch of brains on it...and with her was an enormous horde of zombies.

"Uh-oh..." thought Tyler.

Shortly afterwards, the lawn was swarmed by zombies. To make a long story short, there were simply too many of them, and before long Izzy entered the house and started eating some brains.

"Nooooooo!" exclaimed Dakota.

**Confessional: What a twist that turned out to be, huh?**

**Zoey: Darn it! We were so close! I thought we were going to win for sure! Then again fate can be cruel like that sometimes...**

**Mike: Sheesh...Plants vs. Zombies seems like it was made for Izzy. That game is about as crazy as she is.**

**Cameron: I guess my Magnet-Shroom wasn't enough to stop the zombies after all...kind of a pity really.**

**Dawn: At least I don't predict that there's going to be a zombie apocalypse in the near future...I don't think we would do too well against a horde of them considering how we did during the challenge.**

_A few minutes later..._

"What? Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot lost again? To a bunch of stupid zombies! You have got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Sorry Blaineley...it looks like we failed. I sure hope that we'll do better next time...because you know, I want to stay in the game." answered Owen.

"Me too." agreed Tyler. "Then again I don't think that we've been losing that much lately...this is only the third time this has happened overall."

"Those zombies nearly gave me a heart attack. Why did they have to be so creepy? I'm going to have nightmares when I sleep tonight." complained Lindsay.

"Those zombies ate me! Well, they ate my plant costume, anyway..." said Mike.

"They ate me too...sheesh, I'm starting to question if Plants vs. Zombies is really for everyone ten years and up..." continued Zoey.

"You sure did! I guess now I'm going to give the Plants vs. Zombies CDs to Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..." she continued.

"Sweet! I'll make sure to play this game some time. Maybe when the competition is over..." said Cody.

"I'll play it with you!" exclaimed Sierra.

"Um..." said Cody.

"Oh please! After this challenge this game is going to be way too easy!" exclaimed Lightning. "I can take down Dr. Zomboss any day of the week!"

"I guess I'll be seeing you all at the bonfire ceremony...sheesh, I could have sworn all nine of you would make the merge...but I guess I thought wrong." she said.

**Confessional: Are you surprised that the plants lost?**

**Zoey: I'm voting for Dakota...mainly because she seemed upset with her boyfriend gone. That way they can both be reunited!**

**B: *he holds out a picture of Dakota***

**Dakota: I'm voting for Dawn...all she did was produce coins...she was supposed to fight back against the zombies after all...**

**Lindsay: Um, what's her name again? Dusk? Morning? Evening? I can't remember...but that's who I vote for!**

_A few minutes later at the bonfire ceremony..._

"Well, it's time to see whose going to be shot out of a cannon next...I'm pretty sure some of you did better at the challenge than others...even if it wasn't enough in the end..." said Blaineley.

"What can we say? We got swarmed by zombies!" exclaimed Tyler.

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. I'm going to hand you these marshmallows, OK?" the hostess explained.

"The first marshmallow goes to Cameron."

"Owen."

"B."

"Mike."

"Zoey."

"Tyler."

"Lindsay."

Dawn and Dakota sat without a golden letter. Both of them started to become concerned.

"Both of you didn't exactly do much to the zombies...one of you simply produced coins while the other produced sunlight...anyways...the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Dawn."

Dawn picked up her marshmallow while Dakota dropped her head sadly.

"Well, it looks like you're going to be joining your boyfriend, Dakota. Have fun at the Playa Des Losers with him." said Blaineley.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe this isn't so bad...I would have liked to get a bit farther in the game though." stated Dakota.

"At least you weren't voted off second this time." pointed out Lindsay.

"Yeah yeah yeah. I know." agreed the celebrity.

Dakota climbed inside the Cannon of Shame. Chef lit the fuse as she was sent flying into the Playas Des Losers.

"Come to think of it, are you sure being launched out of that cannon is safe?" questioned Cameron.

"Relax, you guys are all cartoon characters...the only thing that can kill is turpentine acetone benzene...also known as the dip." pointed out Blaineley.

"The dip? Is that for potato chips or something? "Because I eat those all the time. Speaking of which I think I'll go to the mess hall to get some right now." Owen said, licking his lips.

"Never mind. Just go to their cabins and dream about winning Total Drama Insanity or whatever you guys like to dream about...just don't dream about me being the Wicked Witch of the West, that's getting on my nerves." she stated.

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot shrugged and decided to go back to their cabins...except for the aforementioned Owen, who was eating potato chips like he did earlier.

"Where is everybody?" he asked.

_Later that night..._

"Well, it looks like Dakota has been eliminated...what a shame that she couldn't use her sunlight to grow plants like in the actual game...of course, now that I think of it, if she couldn't grow more plants, why was Izzy able to summon a ton of zombies using that flag?" questioned Blaineley. "Unless...darn it! I knew they were cheating!"

"Hopefully those cheating scumbags will get what's coming to them in the next challenge and have to attend another bonfire ceremony...of course, maybe if I'm lucky one of them will get injured again just like Alejandro...I sure would love to see him in a Darth Vader suit. Too bad I already booted him off the show. Ah well."

"So, I guess you'll have to wait for the next episode. So turn off the camera!"

Chef did as Blaineley demanded.

"By the way, Blaineley, I'm starting to get worried. I monitored the confessionals and noticed that two kids were using the confessional...one of them had a head shaped like a triangle while the other had a head shaped like a fire hydrant..." pointed out Chef. "You don't think that they could be Phineas and Ferb, do you?"

"Phineas and Ferb? Relax...how could they ever get on the show? They're only about ten years old or so!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Well, James wasn't a contestant...and that didn't stop him from somehow getting on the show...personally I'm starting to wonder if he's going to show his face around here again..." continued Chef.

"Oh right...but I'm sure Phineas and Ferb have been arrested by now! And even if they haven't, what are the chances of them attacking the island?" questioned Blaineley.

"I sure hope you're right." agreed Chef.

As the two of them left, they failed to notice that there were two kids hiding in the bushes.

"Ferb, I know what we're going to destroy today!" exclaimed Phineas.

Votes:

Cameron: Dakota

B: Dakota

Dawn: Dakota

Zoey: Dakota

Mike: Dakota

Dakota: Dawn

Lindsay: Dawn

Tyler: Dawn

Dakota: 6

Dawn: 3

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Cody, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam, Gwen, Alejandro, Dakota

_Well, it looks like Dakota is gone...and Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is once again on equal footing with Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

_And what are Phineas and Ferb up to? Surely they're up to no good...and they've already infilitrated the island...and most importantly, can anyone stop them before it's too late?_

_You'll find out in the next chapter of Total...Drama...Insanity!_


	16. Day 7: Total Drama Suffering

Total Drama Insanity

_In this episode, Total Drama Insanity will come under attack by two characters that interestingly enough are from another cartoon...can you guess who they are? And as you can tell by the chapter title, you should be hoping that the campers are ready for a lot of pain._

**Chapter 16: Total Drama Suffering**

"What happened in the last episode again? I can't seem to be able to remember...something about plants? Oh now I remember! I made the campers do a Plants vs. Zombies challenge." stated Blaineley.

"Due to the fact that Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself are so hideous, I decided to make them be the zombies...of course, that meant that Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot got to be the plants..."

"But guess what! Izzy pulled out a zombie flag and she summoned a bunch of zombies to dogpile the plants...I really don't know how she did that...but to make a long story short Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot lost again! Trust me, I don't believe it either."

"I don't really see why they lost a third time...but this time Dakota ended up getting the boot. Apparently, although Izzy was able to summon zombies she wasn't able to use sunlight to summon more plants...don't ask me what happened there. I don't know either!"

"Now then, will Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself cheat once again just like Izzy did? Or will Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot win like they should be doing and wipe out their opponents? Find out on this episode of Total Drama-

Blaineley was interrupted when suddenly a tranquilizer dart was shot into her neck and she immediately passed out on the floor. As it turns out, they were shot by two children...two named named Phineas and Ferb.

"Did we get her, Ferb?" asked Phineas.

Ferb nodded.

"Good. Let's go tranquilize the chef, shall we? We've got work to do."

_At the boys side of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot..._

As usual, Mike, Owen, B, and Cameron were wide awake communicating with each other, or in B's case, he was pantomiming. However, in this case, they were talking about strategy, mainly due to the fact that Izzy had steam rolled them during the last challenge.

"Well, it looks like Dakota has been reunited with Sam, for good or worse." pointed out Cameron.

"Ah yes...it's a shame that both of them got kicked out of the game early...I wish they could gone farther..." agreed Mike.

"Izzy sure is tough, isn't she?" pointed out Owen.

B nodded in agreement.

"I wonder how we're going to win the next challenge with her around?" inquired Tyler.

"I guess we'll just have to do our best...of course, she'll probably be a prime target for elimination once she gets to the merge..." stated Cameron.

"Won't we probably lose a bunch of team members to her before then?" pointed out the jock.

"Oh, right." answered the boy.

"Maybe if we're lucky the next challenge will be something that Izzy is bad at..." said Mike optimistically.

"But what exactly is Izzy bad at?" questioned Owen, scratching his head.

Mike simply shrugged.

"Hopefully we'll find out soon."

**Confessional: Izzy may be awesome, but she's a bad luck charm for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot.**

**Owen: I sure hope the next challenge involves food somehow...I'm great at pigging out.**

**Cameron: Maybe if we're lucky the challenge will involve mathematics or something...but considering how weird that would be maybe that's just wishful thinking.**

**Mike: I'm starting to wonder if I should use my multiple personality disorder to my advantage somehow...I know that other people have already been doing that...but how do I trigger one?**

**B: *he is wondering what the next challenge is going to be***

_Meanwhile on the girls side of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot..._

With Dakota now gone, there were only three girls left in the cabin...in this case, it was Zoey, Dawn, and Lindsay. All of them weren't too happy about the recent turn of events.

"I miss Dakota already...and to think her boyfriend got kicked out three challenges ago. Sheesh, I'm starting to wonder if Blaineley hated them or something." stated Zoey.

"Well, she did hate Gwen apparently. I heard that she had Heather decide whether Gwen or Cameron should leave..." pointed out Dawn.

"Who are we talking about again? I can't remember." inquired Lindsay.

"We're talking about Dakota." answered Zoey.

"Oh, you're talking about Nevada! Now I get it!" exclaimed the blonde.

Zoey sighed. Why was she always so forgetful?

Suddenly, Dawn's face turned even whiter than usual.

"Er, is something the matter?" inquired the indie chick.

"Horrible things are going to happen!" exclaimed the moonchild.

"What horrible things? Is a Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself member going to get hurt again?" inquired Zoey.

"Horrible things are going to happen to everyone!" bellowed Dawn.

"Well, that's no more fun. Are we all going to break a nail?" Lindsay inquired.

"I think it's going to be worse than that." answered Zoey. "I can only hope that Dawn is wrong this time..."

**Confessional: What could Phineas and Ferb possibly be planning?**

**Dawn: For some reason, my prophecy involved two kids...but what would kids be doing on this show?**

**Zoey: Is Dawn right? Are horrible things going to happen on this show? I sure hope Mike can protect me...*she whimpers***

**Lindsay: What horrible things are going to happen? Zoey is right...I just can't remember...**

_Now let's check on the Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef HImself boys..._

Ezekiel, Lightning, Brick, Duncan, and Cody were satisfied with their good fortune. Thanks to their teammate Izzy, they had recovered from a bad situation and had won another challenge.

"I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually going to win this show...so far my teammates seem pretty strong eh." stated Ezekiel.

"Dream on! Everyone knows that Lightning's going to win! Just like last season!" exclaimed Lightning.

"Don't count on it." answered Duncan.

"Be nice, will you? You can at least let him dream." Cody answered.

"But if he does that, The Springwood Slasher might get him." joked Duncan.

"Who's the Springwood Slasher? I've never heard of him eh." questioned Ezekiel.

"I don't think you want to know." answered Brick.

"He's scary, man! Of course if he went up against Lightning he would teach him a lesson! Everyone knows that he's no match for me!" exclaimed Lightning.

Ezekiel raised an eyebrow.

"Stop referencing horror movies and be supportive, will you? Otherwise we just might vote you off at the next bonfire ceremony." pointed out Cody.

"Whatever. I don't even like this show anyways. Chris and Blaineley keep making us participate on this show over and over again. Why would she make me compete again anyway? I already won a million dollars...of course, my parents used it to pay my lawyer so that I can avoid being sent to jail...but still!" exclaimed Duncan.

"Well, if you don't want to be on the show, why don't you just quit the competition?" Brick asked.

"Meh, I'm too lazy." answered Duncan.

Brick simply shrugged.

"Fair enough." he answered.

**Confessional: If you see Freddy Krueger, pour holy water on him! Or set him on fire! Whichever works best.**

**Cody: Sheesh, I'm starting to wish that I'm not on the same team as Duncan...I mean, why is he such a big fan of Nightmare On Elm Street?**

**Brick: Maybe Duncan should go to military school like me. Maybe that way he won't be such a juvenile delinquent.**

**Duncan: *yawn* I don't see why this show is so popular. It's really dull.**

**Ezekiel: I wonder what my parents will say if I won the game eh? They'd probably be surprised considering I got voted off first time...**

**Lightning: I'm ready for any challenge! Just watch me!**

_Let's check on the girls of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

As usual, Heather, Izzy, and Sierra were sitting in their beds talking to each other...or in Heather's case, ignoring everything they said.

"Why are you so happy, Izzy?" questioned Sierra.

"Because today two kids are going to pay this island a visit! It's going to be more fun than a barrel full of monkeys!" exclaimed Izzy.

"How do you know that?" she inquired.

"I saw it on the newspaper! Two criminally insane kids named Phineas and Ferb are going to arrive on the island and wreak all kinds of havoc!" she screamed.

"Why are you so excited then? That sounds horrible!" exclaimed Sierra.

"I know! Isn't it awesome! I can't wait to meet them!" squealed Izzy.

"You two be crazy and idiotic all you want. I'm going to the mess hall.**" **retorted Heather as she left.

"Why does she keep leaving the cabin? I'm starting to get the feeling that she doesn't like us much." inquired Sierra.

"I don't know!" exclaimed Izzy.

**Confessional: I don't see why Izzy is so excited either. Phineas and Ferb are EVIL! At least in this fanfic anyway...**

**Sierra: Are two criminally insane kids really going to invade the island? If so I need to protect Codykins!**

**Heather: What a bunch of baloney. What are the chances of what Izzy just said? They've got to be a million to one, for crying out loud! Sheesh...**

**Izzy: I'm waiting for you, Phineas and Ferb! Hurry up already!**

_Meanwhile in the mess hall..._

Chef was busy cooking food for the campers like always. However, he quickly noticed that Blaineley had not paid him a visit. He found that rather odd, as she had bothered him yesterday when he went to read the newspaper.

"I can't help but shake the feeling that she's gone missing...did she go on vacation without telling me? If so I might have to host the challenge this time...not like I look forward to that but anyways-Ouch!" exclaimed Chef.

"Bullseye!" exclaimed Phineas.

As it turns out, Phineas and Ferb had shot a tranqulizer dart in Chef's neck too. Rubbing his neck, he turned around to face his attackers.

"What's the big i-wait a minute! I know you two! You were in all those newspaper stories! I have to warn the other campers immed-

Chef was once again cut off when Ferb shot another tranquilizer dart...this time into his arm.

"Will you two cut that out already?" Chef Hatchet demanded.

"Uh-oh, these tranquilizer darts aren't working, Ferb! They're not strong enough!" exclaimed Phineas.

"Ah yes...it seems that his training in the military is serving him well." answered Ferb.

"You bet it is! Now if you excuse me I'm going to take care of you two and then call the police! I'm sick of your horrible crimes!" he exclaimed.

"Run!" bellowed Phineas.

And so the two kids ran away from Chef as he chased them all across the kitchen, who all the while was trying to grab them by the collar of the shirts.

Eventually, the two of them went into hiding, causing him to wonder where they went.

"Where'd they go?" Chef Hatchet thought.

Curious, he decided to check a nearby closet...

...only for Ferb to spray knockout gas in his face as soon as he opened the door.

"You...meddling...kids..." he stated as he passed out.

"Finally! I was worried that big lummox would never go down!" exclaimed Phineas. "Now then, let's tie him and the hostess up, lock them in this closet, and put on our disguises!"

"Don't forget to gag them." reminded Ferb.

"Oh right. Let's put duct tape on their mouths too!" exclaimed Phineas.

Ferb nodded, and went to grab his freakish latex suits of Blaineley and Chef.

**Confessional: Things are turning bad really fast.**

**Phineas: *he is disguised as Blaineley* Perfect! Our plan is going without a hitch!**

**Ferb: *he is disguised as Chef, and is flipping a patty***

**Blaineley And Chef: *they have been bound and gagged* Mmmph mmph mph mmphh! (For the love of God, somebody help us!)**

**Perry: Grugggg!**

_A few minutes later..._

"That's weird...shouldn't Blaineley have started a challenge by now? I can't help but shake the feeling that something is up." answered Cameron.

"I'm sure it's fine." replied Lindsay.

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen Blaineley at all...and I haven't seen Chef either! Where have those two hopped off too?" questioned Zoey.

"This is starting to become just what I feared..." stated Dawn.

Owen's stomach began to grumble.

"I really hope that Chef cooks for us soon...I'm getting hungry already." he said.

"I agree with you there, buddy." answered Brick.

"Hey everyone! Sorry I'm late!" exclaimed Phineas, who was now disguised as Blaineley.

"Er, is it just me, or is Blaineley...shorter than normal?" inquired Tyler.

"Why does her voice sound like a young boy all of a sudden?" questioned Heather.

"She probably took off her platform shoes." retorted Duncan.

"The challenge will be in just a few minutes. Until then, why don't you try some of Chef's delicious cooking!" he exclaimed.

Raising a few eyebrows, the campers decided to do as Phineas said.

**Confessional: Why haven't the campers already figured out who "Blaineley" really is? It seems pretty obvious to me.**

**Cameron: Why is Blaineley being so nice to us all of a sudden? I was expecting her to be mean to us as usual...**

**Tyler: Why did Blaineley say that Chef's cooking was delicious? I personally think that it's terrible.**

**Phineas: Those idiots will never figure out who I really am! They're just too stupid!**

As it turns out, Chef had cooked up some food...but for some strange reason, it tasted oddly delightful.

"That's weird, I don't remember Chef's cooking being this good..." stated Mike.

"Maybe he finally decided to give us good food for a change eh?" inquired Ezekiel.

Curious, the campers decided to look around. Soon enough, they saw Chef Hatchet cooking more food for them...but like Blaineley, he seemed to be rather short.

"Isn't Chef Hatchet a lot taller than this?" questioned Brick.

"Again, maybe they've forgot their platform shoes." answered Duncan.

"I don't ever recall them having platform shoes. Personally I wish I had them...I love shoes." replied Lindsay.

"We all know you do, Lindsay." retorted Heather.

After eating their surprisingly delightful breakfast, Phineas called them for their next challenge. As usual, the campers went outside. Once again, they became curious.

As it tunrs out, there wasn't much to see outside, except for several different chairs. About half of them were red, while about half of them were blue.

"Are these supposed to represent the teams eh?" inquired Ezekiel.

"Yes. Yes they are." answered Phineas.

Ferb was sitting on a nearby chair next to quite a few switches. B immediately scratched his head. What could all those switches be for? He started to get a bad feeling about this challenge.

"Now then, sit on the chairs." ordered the disguised boy.

Now more curious than ever, the campers decided to sit on the chairs. Ferb flipped one of the switches, and suddenly they found their hands and feet strapped. The campers tried to squirm free, but due to the fact that their restraints were made out of titanium this didn't work out too well.

"What the-" said Mike.

"Let us go!" exclaimed Zoey.

"Now that you're all seated, let me explain the challenge. To make a long story short, I'm going to torture you." said Phineas.

The campers gasped in shock. Was Blaineley really going this far?

"You wouldn't." murmured Lightning.

"Specifically, Ferb here, er I mean Chef Hatchet here is going to pull on these switches. These will activate the torture devices I have built that will cause you both physical and emotional pain." explained the incognito boy.

"He would." thought the muscular jock.

"This is horrific! Stop this this instant!" demanded Dawn.

B nodded in agreement.

"You want me to stop, do you? Alright then...if you want me to stop at any time during the torture session, just scream "Uncle" at the top of your lungs and you can run home to your mothers." continued Phineas.

B sweatdropped. Since when did he ever talk, let alone exclaim the word "Uncle"?

"Now then, let's get this party started!" exclaimed Phineas.

"Did Blaineley just say let's get this party started?" questioned Tyler.

Owen simply shrugged.

Suddenly, they were a sound of rustling in nearby bushes.

"Is that-"

"Graarghhhh!"

Cody was cut off when suddenly James hopped out of the bushes. As it turns out, he had a few words to say about the current challenge.

"CragmiteBlaster already used this challenge in his fanfic! This challenge is completely unoriginal! Ohforftheloveofpete is a thief!" bellowed James.

"Say, how about you sit in that chair over there?" inquired Phineas.

James shrugged and did as he was told, and found himself strapped just like the campers. He immediately started struggling like a caged wild animal.

"Oh dear, we might need to use the chains for this one." answered the boy. "Now then Fer-I mean Chef Hatchet, why don't you activate the pie-throwing machine? I've been dying to try it out on somebody...and for some reason this guy seems like the perfect candidate...or should we say test subject?"

Ferb nodded in agreement and he did as he was told. Immediately, the machine activated, and shortly afterwards pie after pie were thrown at James' face.

"I'll get you for this, Blaineley!" bellowed James.

"Now then, where were we. Ah yes. Activate the torture devices!" exclaimed Phineas.

Ferb flipped the switch, and suddenly a boxing glove on a spring emerged from the ground and started punching the campers in their faces. Unsurprisingly, this wasn't a fun experience, and the campers began to yell out in pain.

"Is this even legal?" questioned Lindsay.

"Somehow, I doubt it." answered Cameron.

Ferb continued pulling on the switches, and suddenly the boxing gloves starting punching the campers in the groins. This was not pleasant. At all. In fact, one of the campers screamed uncle.

"Uncle! Uncle!" exclaimed Cody.

Cody was subsquently flung out of the chair.

"Well, that's one camper down!" exclaimed Phineas.

"You're a monster!" exclaimed Cody.

"Yes, and so is my brother F-I mean Chef Hatchet." answered the boy.

Ferb blew raspberries at Cody. He simply shrugged and went towards the mess hall.

**Confessional: That was literally painful to watch.**

**Cody: I can't believe Blaineley is this sadistic...I mean, I knew that she was mean, but this is crossing the line!**

**Chef Hatchet and Blaineley: Mmph mph mph mmph! (Why won't anyone save us?!)**

**Phineas: How are Chef Hatchet and Blaineley using the confessional? I thought I tied them up! Maybe I should nail their feet to the floor.**

**Perry: *he is about to put on his fedora, but he then remembers that he's on TV***

_A few minutes later..._

"Well, what a challenge this is turning out to be! The campers are being tortured as we speak! Now we can find out which of the campers are a bunch of babies and which ones are macho! Find out after this commercial break...and yes, you'll get to continue watching the campers get tortured!" exclaimed Phineas.

_It looks like everyone in Total Drama Island is in deep trouble...can Blaineley and Chef free themselves before Phineas and Ferb ruin the show for both the campers and the audience? Will the torture even end? You'll find out in the next chapter of Total...Drama...Insanity!_

_Oh, and yes, Phineas and Ferb will be brought to justice for their crimes. Did you think that they were going to get away with them?_


	17. Day 7: Feel The Pain

Total Drama Insanity

_In this chapter, Blaineley and Chef will be rescued, Phineas and Ferb will be arrested for their horrific crimes (including torturing the campers), and for some strange reason another camper will be voted off._

_So let's find out what happens next...that's what you want, am I right? So far you all seem to be enjoying this story, so I'm going to try to continue it..._

**Chapter 17: Feel The Pain**

"Mwahahaha! Welcome back to Total Drama Insanity...or as this show is going to be when we're through with it...Total Drama Cancelled!" exclaimed Phineas.

"Prior to the commercial break, my brother and I abducted Blaineley and Chef so that we could conquer this show...and we wore disguises that we made out of latex so that nobody would know that it was us. Everything is going according to our evil plans!"

"Although the campers were suspicious, they decided to participate in the next challenge anyway...but guess what! It was a trap! Now they're being tortured just so they can win immunity and not have to attend a bonfire ceremony...but it's not going to matter because pretty soon Total Drama Island is going to get sued badly! This time nobody is going to win this season!"

"How long will this show stay on the air while we're in charge? How many of the campers will crack underneath the enormous torture? Well, you'll find out now." he concluded.

_Let's see how the poor, unfortunate campers are doing..._

"Alright Chef Hatchet, I think that's enough physical torture for now...how about we start doing psychological torture?" inquired Phineas.

"Ah yes...psychological torture might get some of the tougher campers to crack." agreed Ferb.

"Funny, Chef Hatchet seems to be awfully quiet today...maybe he's losing his voice? Then again he doesn't talk that much to begin with." thought Cameron.

Unsurprisingly, none of the campers were looking forward to being tortured some more. Well, almost none of the campers.

"Yes! More torture!" exclaimed Izzy.

All of the campers and James stared at Izzy.

"What? I love pain!" she bellowed.

"Stop hurling pies in my face now!" exclaimed James.

"Alright then, let's start hurling birthday cakes!" bellowed Phineas. "Guess you should be careful what you wish for...unfortunately, none of the candles on these are lit, so you won't be able to make another one! Hahahaha!"

"Does Blaineley laugh evilly like that?" questioned Tyler.

"Don't ask me...you're the smart one, Taylor." answered Lindsay.

"It's Tyler actually...although you were close this time." stated Tyler.

**Confessional: Poor James...how many pastries are going to get flung into his face before this challenge is over?**

**James: I want my mommy! *he is sucking his thumb***

**Sierra: I have to win this challenge for Codykins! Since you know...he left first.**

**Heather: I know I've done bad things in the past...but even I think this challenge is unhinged. Believe me, I should know.**

**Owen: I once read a fanfic on called Total Drama Torture which was kind of like this challenge...and it made me vomit up my lunch...and for some reason the author had Eric Cartman from South Park say "Die" about one million times.**

"Alright, let's start the tickle torture." said the boy.

"Tickle torture?" inquired Lightning. "That's for babies."

"You'll find out how bad it can be soon enough." retorted Phineas.

Metallic hands suddenly grabbed the hero's shoes and socks, leaving the campers barefoot. They then pulled out feathers and started tickling them horribly. Pretty soon they were all laughing more than a certain Total Drama Letterama character.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" demanded Zoey, who was laughing hysterically.

"Uncle! Uncle!" bellowed Cameron. Apparently he was highly ticklish.

Cameron was then ejected from his seat.

"It looks like the two teams are tied." answered Phineas.

"No thanks to your demonic tortures, you jerkface." retorted Duncan.

"For that remark, Duncan, I'm going to make you listen to make you listen to your least favorite song, Justin Bieber's Baby." stated the boy.

"What? No no no no-"

Duncan was cut off when suddenly headphones were placed upon his head and the music began to play.

"Aaugh! Already it's getting stuck in my head!" he bellowed.

Frantically, he tried to remove the headphones, but the metallic hands quickly noticed and held them firm.

"That does it! Uncle uncle!" he bellowed.

Phineas and Ferb shrugged and released Duncan from the torture chair.

"Where did Blaineley, hahahaha, get this kind of crazy technology? I don't think many people would want to design these..." inquired Brick.

"I don't, heeheehee, know! Then again I can't, hahahaha, think straight right now eh? Hahahaha!" answered Ezekiel, who couldn't stop laughing.

**Confessional: Yes, being tickled can be used as a torture method.**

**Duncan: *he is banging his head against the wall, trying to get Justin Bieber's music out of his head***

**Lightning: That was lame, man! And here Lightning thought that being tickle tortured would suck so much...**

**Cameron: Wow...Blaineley made Duncan listen to Justin Bieber? Now that is just barbaric.**

**Zoey: I feel sorry for my fellow campers...having to sit through all that just to win a challenge...**

After the tickle torture was over and the metallic hands returned their shoes and socks, Phineas and Ferb decided what they should do to them next.

"Hmm...what to do next?" thought Phineas.

"Maybe we could make them watch a horrible movie?" questioned Ferb.

"You're right...but what horrible movie should we make them watch? There was already a challenge where Blaineley made them watch cruddy movies...what movie didn't she make them watch?" inquired Phineas.

Ferb responded by pulling out a copy of Neverending Story III: Escape From Fantasia.

"Oh right...I think this will do nicely." Phineas nodded in agreement.

Once again Ferb activated another torture device. Immediately, several television screens appeared in front of the camper's faces.

"What are they planning now?" inquired Lindsay.

"It can't be anything good." answered Tyler.

Suddenly, the movie The Neverending Story III: Escape To Fantasia began to play on the TVs.

"What the-ugh! This movie sucks!" exclaimed Heather, who was overwhelmed with revulsion.

"Really? I think this movie is awesome!" exclaimed Izzy.

"I don't see it." answered Sierra, who also wasn't thrilled to watch such a bad movie.

B watched the TV with horror.

"I'm calling uncle!" exclaimed Cameron.

Cameron was released from the torture chair so that he would no longer have to watch the horrible movie.

"Who the heck made this film? It's more awful than a dementor!" asked Dawn.

"We're probably better off knowing." answered Brick.

**Confessional: Ironically, this movie put an end to the Neverending Story franchise.**

**Dawn: I once read a fanfic on called Total Drama Torture that was kind of like this challenge...for some strange reason Chris killed the campers in gruesome ways and then brought them back from the dead...how could he even bring them back from the dead? And how can he do that on live television without being arrested? Not to mention that it had Eric Cartman say "Die" about a million times...**

**Brick: I may be part of the military...but after seeing that movie I started to reach my breaking point. Blaineley has really gone too far this time.**

**James: *his face is covered with pies* Why does Blaineley have to be so cruel to me? I just wanted this show to be original!**

**Tyler: I wonder how many torture sessions are there going to be until one team throws in the towel...**

_Meanwhile near the interns' cabin..._

As it turns out, one of the interns was busy searching for supplies for the next challenge. Curiously, Blaineley and Chef had told her what appeared to be parts for a doomsday device. She began to wonder why they would want to build such a thing, but she decided not to question it.

As it turns out, it was Staci, the chubby girl who kept talking about her ancestors and all the things that they invented.

"They've got to be around here somewhere..." Staci thought.

Suddenly, she noticed that there was a door with a sticky note behind it...when she got close, she began to hear the sound of muffled voices.

"Where are those coming from?" she wondered.

Curious, she decided to read the sticky note.

_If you are reading this, please do not open this door. There is absolutely nothing behind it, let alone Blaineley and Chef, who we did not kidnap so that two kids that are not known as Phineas and Ferb could replace them on this show and ruin Total Drama._

Staci raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think anyone would mind if I just took a small look..." she murmured.

Taking a sneak peek, she suddenly slammed the door wide open when she discovered Blaineley and Chef inside, who had duct tape on their mouths and had been tied tightly together. She immediately peeled the duct tape off of Blaineley's mouth so that she could explain the crazy things that were going on.

"Owww!" she exclaimed. Unfortunately, Staci did not take off the duct tape slowly. She then reached for the duct tape on Chef's mouth, but he immediately shook his head.

"What happened?! Did you two tie yourself or something?" she inquired.

"It was Phineas and Ferb, not us! They invaded our show and tied us up! Now they're probably impersonating us for whatever harebrained scheme those two always come up with! Now hurry up and release us!" she demanded.

"You know, my great-great-great-great-grandfather invented rope, he thought he would be useful for tying th-"

"Stop making up facts about your ancestors and untie us already!" bellowed Blaineley.

Chef nodded his head in agreement.

"Fine fine fine." she answered.

_Back to the poor unfortunate campers..._

Unsurprisingly, the campers were in a lot of pain. And interestingly enough, so was James, who Phineas and Ferb had decided to torment even though he wasn't actually competing on the show. By now, he had at least a dozen pastries thrown in his face, ranging from wedding cakes to cupcakes to even urinal cakes.

"Now I can't even eat my way out of this mess...stupid urinal cakes." he thought.

As for the other campers, they were currently being spun around in their chairs like a record, similar to a certain song.

"Make it stop!" demanded Tyler.

"What's the magic word?" inquired Phineas.

"Please!" he exclaimed.

"What's the other magic word?" the boy asked.

"Uncle!" the jock bellowed.

Tyler was then released from his strapped chair, but due to the fact that it was still spinning he was sent flying quite a distance.

"Oops?" answered Phineas.

"Thomas!" bellowed Lindsay.

"This is the best chair ever!" exclaimed Izzy.

"How are we going to ever torture her? She enjoys pain, for crying out loud!" wondered the redhaired boy.

Ferb simply shrugged as he continued activating more and more torture devices.

This time, the campers found themselves dealing with hot temperatures as the chairs suddenly began to warm up...

"Ouch! Hot hot hot!" the campers bellowed...except for once again Izzy.

"Is there a barbecue somewhere?" she inquired.

This time, Lindsay decided to call uncle, due to the fact that her hair was starting to burn.

Phineas facepalmed.

"Now that I'm warmed you guys up...let's try putting you on ice!" he exclaimed.

Ferb flipped the switches yet again...this time, the chairs became very cold, and pretty soon the campers started to chatter their teeth.

"This challenge isn't worth it anymore. Uncle." answered Heather.

Phineas released Heather from her chair.

"I know what to torture you with now! Let's try that curse that Bellatrix Lestrange taught us!" they exclaimed.

"Bellatrix Lestrange?" inquired Dawn.

B's blood began to run cold. If it involved her, then what was going to happen next wasn't going to be good.

Suddenly, several different wands sprouted out of the ground and pointed themselves towards the campers. Judging from the red light that were charging in the wands, Phineas and Ferb were getting ready to use Cruciatus Curse.

"Uncle, uncle!" bellowed Mike.

"Not until you've experienced this curse at least once!" answered Phineas, who was too excited to quit now.

The other campers immediately braced themselves for the agonizing pain that they were going to experience from the horrific dark magic...except for Izzy, who was looking forward towards it.

"Stop right there!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Huh?" inquired Phineas.

Suddenly, Blaineley and Chef arrived on the scene. The campers suddenly began to wonder if they were seeing double.

"Those two are imposters!" bellowed Chef.

"Well, that explains a lot." answered Zoey, recalling how strange the show had been lately.

"Imposters? What are you two talking about? You two are the ones that are impersonating us." answered Phineas.

Suddenly, Perry the Platypus appeared out of the bushes and started licking Phineas in the face.

"What? How'd you get here, Perry? And not now! I'm in the middle of something!" exclaimed Phineas.

"Wait, doesn't that platypus belong to Phineas and Ferb?" inquired Brick.

"Shoot." answered Ferb. They were caught!

Suddenly, Chef pulled on Phineas and Ferb's heads, and removed their latex faces of Blaineley and Chef. The campers gasped in shock.

"It's Phineas and Ferb! They must have been trying to get Total Drama cancelled so that their show would be more popular!" bellowed Lightning.

"And we would have gotten away with it, too, if you weren't for you meddling hostess!" bellowed Phineas.

Blaineley called for security, and immediately her two bodyguards came to take Phineas and Ferb away. Hopefully they would be locked up for a long time. Chef then released the campers from their torment. Interestingly enough, this also released James, who at this point was covered with pies. He subsquently shaked them off.

Interestingly enough, Cameron noticed that Perry the Platypus seemed upset...which made him wonder why he had exposed Phineas and Ferb in the first place.

"Those two boys sucked! And what were they doing in a Total Drama Island story anyway? They don't belong in there!" exclaimed James.

"You'd be surprised how many people crossover Total Drama Island and Phineas and Ferb." answered Mike.

"Thank goodness you came eh. I couldn't take any more of that." answered Ezekiel.

Blaineley then noticed the torture chairs Phineas and Ferb are created.

"Say, maybe I could use one of these on Bridgette...but where was I? Ah yes, seeing though this wasn't an official challenge since Phineas and Ferb were in charge...I guess I'll decide who attends the bonfire ceremony tonight...and guess what! It's Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"What? That's not fair! With Izzy on our side we had a pretty good chance of winning!" exclaimed Sierra.

"Yeah yeah yeah, why don't you cry to your mommy about it? Now then, have fun at the campfire tonight...because I know I will!" she bellowed.

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself sighed. Why did they have to have Blaineley as a host? It seemed like every episode she was taking out her hatred on Bridgette on them.

**Confessional: Why does Blaineley have to be so biased?**

**Cody: Well, at least we don't have to be tortured anymore...anyways, I'm voting for Duncan...sometimes tells me if he provokes Blaineley we're all going to suffer for it.**

**Heather: I'm voting for Sierra. With her gone maybe I can get some peace and quiet...of course, I'll still have to deal with Izzy, but I can always vote her off later.**

**Duncan: Cody is a wimp...he was the first one to leave the torture chair. I'm voting him off.**

**Sierra: I'm voting with Cody. Duncan is out of here!**

_At the bonfire ceremony of doom..._

"What a crazy turn of events this day has been. At least now Phineas and Ferb are finally arrested and Chef can read about something other than them for a change...at least now one of you can relax at the Playas Des Losers after all this pain and suffering...as much as I hate to admit it." Blaineley stated.

"Lightning hated that challenge! Torture is not a sport! It's just plain cruel!" exclaimed Lightning.

"I'm sure everyone hated that challenge. Blame Phineas and Ferb. They're going away for a very long time.I can't say that I'm going to miss them...or am I going to miss whoever gets voted off. Now then, let's hand out the marshmallows, shall we?" she stated.

"The first marshmallow, unsurprisingly, goes to Izzy."

"Next up, is Brick."

"Lightning."

"Heather."

"Ezekiel."

"Sierra."

Duncan and Cody were without marshmallows. Both of them seemed surprisingly satisfied.

"And the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Duncan."

Cody looked rather surprised as Duncan went to take his marshmallow.

"Well, it looks like you're going to be using the Cannon of Shame, Cody. I bet Sierra isn't going to be too happy about this, now is she?"

"Noooo! Not Cody!" exclaimed Sierra.

"Too bad for you, Sierra. It looks like you're going to have to spend the rest of the competition without him...but I'm sure you'll just find some other camper you can be a fangirl of. Now then, Cody, use the Cannon of Shame!"

Cody sighed and entered the Cannon of Shame. He was then shot towards the Playas Des Losers.

"Say, I wonder if he's going to end up badly injured because of the rough landing. You never know!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Sierra began crying.

"Now then, maybe if you're lucky the show won't get hijacked again...now that Phineas and Ferb are busted I don't think we'll need to worry about that anymore...but anyways...see you losers later." she answered.

_A few minutes later..._

"Noooo! You can't do this to us!" bellowed Phineas.

"Yes we can. Remember that time you terrorized Danville using King Kong and Godzilla?" inquired the police officer.

"How could we possibly have forgotten about that." wondered Ferb.

"Take them away!" bellowed the policeman.

Phineas and Ferb were flown away towards a maximum security prison.

"Finally...I couldn't stand being on this island one second later with those two. To think they had the nerve to kidnap the hottest hostess alive." she said.

"Don't forget they kidnapped me too." Chef answered.

"Whatever." Blaineley retorted. "Now then...now that Cody's gone, how will Sierra cope? And can Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself win a challenge now that the show is no longer hijacked? Find out in the next episode...assuming the show doesn't get cancelled from all the trouble Phineas and Ferb have caused, of course." she said as she reached to turn off the camera.

Votes:

Izzy: Cody

Brick: Duncan

Heather: Sierra

Ezekiel: Cody

Sierra: Duncan

Lightning: Cody

Cody: Duncan

Duncan: Cody

Cody: 4

Duncan: 3

Sierra: 1

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam, Gwen, Alejandro, Dakota, Cody

_Well, this is another surprising and rather depressing elimination. Sierra has been separated from Cody...and as we all know, she's not going to be too happy about that. Is she going to go crazy like Izzy? Or will she try to win the show without him? Again, you'll find out more as we continue._


	18. Day 8: Blaineley & The Chocolate Factory

Total Drama Insanity

_In this chapter, we're once again going to check on the campers...who have been invited to a factory by Blaineley...a chocolate factory...which is a world of pure imagination...get where I'm going with this? I'm sure at least some of you do by now. I'm sure at least one of you have read Willy Wonka or have seen one of his two movies...I've seen all three, in fact._

**Chapter 18: Blaineley & The Chocolate Factory**

"In the last episode, very bad things happened to the island today. While I was doing another recap of this show...Phineas and Ferb shot a tranquilizer dart into my neck and abducted me...apparently they hitchhiked their way on the island. Don't ask me how they actually got there." recapped Blaineley.

"Apparently they somehow managed to kidnap Chef too, because they tied him up next to me...to be honest, I'm not exactly sure what happened in the rest of the episode...but what I know is that Phineas and Ferb then impersonated us and set up a fake challenge that involved being horribly tortured, and they were trying to cut Total Drama off the air simply to boost their own show's popularity."

"Thankfully, the morbidly obese Staci busted us out...and for some strange reason a platypus managed to expose the two imposters for the two little evil brats they actually were. They were subsquently arrested, and now everything is back to normal. Or as normal as this show can be, I don't know."

"Of course, since there wasn't an actual challenge, I decided to choose Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself to attend a bonfire ceremony...and since Cody was the first one to leave one of the torture chairs he got sent to the Playa. Now Sierra is without her little "boyfriend". Now then if you excuse me, it's time for another episode of Total...Drama...Insanity!" she exclaimed.

_One theme song later..._

Owen, Tyler, B, Mike, and Cameron were as usual conversing with each other about the events of the last episode. However, some of them had trouble sleeping due to the fact that Phineas and Ferb had traumatized them with their demonic torture chairs.

"Thank goodness those horrible boys were gone...who knows what would happen if they prevailed?" questioned Owen.

Cameron yawned. "I had nightmares about those two electrocuting me with an electric chair...suffice to say I couldn't sleep much after that...to think that two kids could be so cruel.

B nodded in agreement. Why they had become so bad he had no idea.

"Hopefully they'll receive a life sentence for their atrocities...maybe they were sent to the same prison as Chris." agreed Mike, rubbing his eyes as he did so.

"I feel sorry for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself though...because Blaineley was so biased she decided to make them boot off one of their members...I personally wonder if Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is going to be completely wiped out before the final three." Tyler stated.

"I'm actually starting to root for them too." answered Cameron.

"Personally part of me is hoping that Blaineley is going to get fired. She never seems to treat anyone on this show nice." answered Mike.

"You mean that she's kind of like Chris?" inquired Owen.

"I guess so." nodded Mike.

B scratched his head. Why did the hosts of Total Drama always have to be so cruel? It would be nice if there was a kind host for a change.

**Confessional: Let's hope that Blaineley gets canned like Chris did for his horrible actions on Revenge Of The Island.**

**B: *he is holding out a picture of Blaineley with a no sign on it***

**Owen: All I can say for Team Bridgette is to hang in there...of course now that I'm saying that I'm probably jinxing us. Ah well.**

**Mike: I just hope that the show doesn't get hijacked like it did on the last episode...I can still picture being tortured in them.**

**Tyler: What really makes me mad is that those two kids tortured Lindsay...I'm glad that they're behind bars. Hopefully they received a life sentence for everything they had done.**

**Cameron: I'm starting to wonder if there are people like Phineas and Ferb out there...if so, we might be in even more trouble than we thought. Are there other people that are trying to destroy Total Drama? It's making me feel rather paranoid. I might have to keep an eye out.**

_Let's check on the girls side of the cabin..._

Dawn, Lindsay, and Zoey as it turns out had also been traumatized by Phineas and Ferb. Lindsay's usually neat hair was rather messy, and Dawn and Zoey looked a bit on edge. Thankfully, the nightmare was finally over.

"I can't believe those two made us watch Neverending Story III: Escape To Fantasia...personally I'm starting to wonder why Mike didn't rescue me like he usually does...then again he had been captured too." shrugged Zoey.

"I'm starting to wonder if I should compete on this show anymore...that torture challenge was so painful..." Lindsay said.

"I agree...and to think I predicted something like this would happen...I had no idea that Blaineley and Chef would end up being kidnapped though...I've heard of identity theft, but that was just ridiculous!" agreed Dawn.

"Let's hope that the island doesn't get hijacked like that again." agreed Zoey.

"The island was hijacked?" questioned Lindsay.

"We were talking about it just a few minutes ago. Don't you remember, Lindsay?" answered Dawn.

"Oh, right. How could I have forgotten that? Then again I don't really want to remember what happened..." remembered Lindsay.

"None of us do, Lindsay. None of us do." replied Zoey.

**Confessional: Be grateful that Phineas and Ferb have been busted. I know I am.**

**Dawn: Thankfully, I don't predict that a disaster is going to happen this time...although I can't predict everything.**

**Zoey: I'm glad that the show is back to normal...I don't want to end up being tortured again.**

**Lindsay: Why are Dawn and Zoey having so much trouble sleeping again? I don't know! Of course I've been having trouble sleeping too...*she scratches her head***

_Meanwhile on the boys side of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

Duncan, Brick, Lightning, and Ezekiel had a rather bad day yesterday. Not only had Phineas and Ferb sabotaged the show, but they had been horribly tortured and had lost a member of their team. Duncan in particular had it the worst, as he was forced to listen to Justin Bieber. He was currently banging his head on the wall trying to get the song out of his head.

"What's the matter eh?" inquired Ezekiel.

"Well, what do you think? Phineas and Ferb made me listen to Justin Bieber! My ears are practically bleeding!" bellowed Duncan.

"I don't see what's so bad about him." answered Brick.

"That's because you're as crazy as your teammate Izzy!" exclaimed Duncan.

"What's so bad about Izzy? She's our star player! Well, aside from Lightning of course." answered Lightning.

"Whatever!" retorted Duncan.

"Well, Phineas and Ferb have been arrested, eh. Maybe my good luck charm is kicking in again!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

"We already know about that." answered Brick.

"Sorry." apologized Ezekiel.

"As much as Lightning hates to admit, I only honestly hope that the next challenge is going to be less eventful..." noted Lightning.

"Well, who else would want to hijack this show eh?" questioned Ezekiel.

"Let's not jinx it, shall we?" inquired Brick.

"Oh, right." answered the farm boy.

**Confessional: Does anyone want to make Duncan listen to more bad music?**

**Duncan: *he is banging his head against the side of the confessional***

**Ezekiel: If they really wanted to torture me, they'd make me pick up cow manure...*he sticks his tongue out in disgust***

**Lightning: Lightning should give Phineas and Ferb wedgies...but since they're in jail I guess I should let them slide.**

**Brick: Phineas and Ferb may be gone, but we still have to deal with Blaineley. Ah well.**

_Let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's girls..._

Sierra, Izzy, and Heather were in the cabin. In Sierra's case, she was crying uncontrollably. Apparently being separated from Cody had already taken a toll on her. Heather in particular was annoyed by her constant crying while Izzy was trying to cheer her up.

"I know that he's gone Sierra, but the fact is that he's gone! This happens on the show all the time! You should have known that this would happen sooner or later!" exclaimed Heather.

"Cheer up, Sierra! You can still win the competition!" bellowed Izzy.

Sierra wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"I hope you're right...but it's just not the same without him...you'd think he would do a bit better considering how far he made it on Total Drama World Tour..." inquired Sierra.

"Well, Blaineley did play dirty and force us to attend a bonfire ceremony even though it wasn't an official challenge...I'll admit that." answered Heather.

"I just don't think it was fair that he was eliminated like that..." murmured Sierra.

"Well, hopefully Blaineley will play fair this time!" exclaimed Izzy.

"That's easy for you to say. Considering how well you've done during challenges lately your team is never going to vote you off." answered Heather. "Of course, you'll have a heck of a time at the merge..."

"What makes you say that?" inquired Izzy.

**Confessional: Poor Sierra.**

**Sierra: *she is still crying***

**Izzy: Come to think of it, I would probably act that way if Owen was gone...*she lets out a sigh***

**Heather: Ugh...why couldn't I be on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot? That way I wouldn't have to put up with these two.**

_Now let's check on Chef...as well as a certain intern._

Chef decided to read the newspaper to see if anything crazy was happening. Curiously enough, the newspaper was about Phineas and Ferb being arrested. Apparently they had been sent to Smile Away Reformatory School, where they had their horrific imagination sucked out of them.

"Funny, I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for them now...then again their twisted imagination was likely the reason they decided to do those horrible things." thought Chef.

Suddenly, Staci entered the kitchen.

"Hello!" exclaimed Staci.

"Hey, Staci. Thanks for rescuing Blaineley and I from those two evil boys...are you asking me to repay you or something? Because you can help yourself to what's in the fridge, I guess." inquired Chef.

"Not really, I just wanted to pay someone a visit." she answered.

"Fair enough." answered Hatchet.

Staci then noticed that Chef was reading a newspaper.

"You know, my great-great-great-great-great grandpa invented newspapers...he wanted to keep people up to date on recent events." fibbed Staci.

"What exactly is your ancestor's name?" inquired Chef.

"Um..." answered Staci.

Chef simply sighed.

**Confessional: Liar liar pants on fire!**

**Staci: *sigh* I'm starting to wonder if I should have some counseling so that I can stop lying. If I competed on the show again I doubt my team would put up with that.**

**Chef Hatchet: I guess Staci isn't a bad person even if she is dishonest. She did save me from Phineas and Ferb after all.**

_A few minutes later..._

Once again, as the campers were eating (minus Duncan, who was mysteriously absent), Blaineley once again received a phone call.

"Funny, why do I get the strange feeling this has happened before? I think this might have happened at least once..." Blaineley said as she reached for the phone.

"Hey, I'm looking for Takeadump. First name Lemmy." explained Duncan.

"Alright then...funny, I get the strange feeling that I shouldn't say that out loud. I wonder why." answered Blaineley.

A few minutes later, she once again fell for Duncan's trap.

"Hey everyone! Is there a Lemmy Takeadump here! Come on! Lemmy Takeadump!" bellowed Blaineley.

As usual, all the campers began to laugh.

"If you want to take a dump, then use the bathroom! I'm sure the confessional has one!" exclaimed Mike.

Blaineley once again got angry.

"Listen here now! When I catch you, I'm going to vaporize you with a freaking laser cannon! You'll be reduced to ash and then scattered across the wind! You hear me?!" bellowed Blaineley.

**Confessional: Blaineley fell for the same trick again.**

**Duncan: Hopefully this will give me something to do so that I can get that music out of my head.**

**Owen: Funny, I believe I saw something like this on the Simpsons...**

**Blaineley: Stupid prank phone callers.**

**Chef: I have a feeling whose making these phone calls...but if Blaineley is going to be so hostile about it I guess I won't tell her.**

_Now let's see what the next challenge is..._

"Campers, it's time for the next challenge." announced Blaineley on the intercom.

The campers shrugged and decided to see what she had in store for them. This time, they noticed that it was a large factory.

"What's the challenge this time?" inquired Lindsay.

The campers then noticed that Blaineley was dressed in a Willy Wonka costume.

B immediately realized what the next challenge was going to be based on.

"Guess what? Today you're going to be on tour of a chocolate factory! A rather crazy chocolate factory at that..." replied Blaineley.

"You mean like that book?" inquired Dawn.

"Or that movie?" inquired Zoey.

"Or that other movie?" asked Mike.

"Yes, yes, and yes! I know you've all seen those movies or read that book before...I know i have. But this challenge should be simple even if you haven't. All you have to do is do exactly as I tell you to do and not get in trouble as we go on this tour. Whoever's still left standing scores a point for their team...understood?" inquired Blaineley.

"Yes, I think I understand." answered Cameron.

"Very good." nodded Blaineley.

"Wait, are there going to be Oompa Loompas?" questioned Tyler.

"As a matter of fact, yes. There is going to be an Oompa Loompa." answered Blaineley.

Suddenly, Chef walked up to Blaineley...who was wearing an Oompa Loompa costume. Immediately, the campers began to laugh.

"Oompa Loompa Boppity Birement...I'm starting to wonder if I should go in retirement..." murmured Chef.

"Now that we've settled things, let's go inside the factory, shall we?" inquired Blaineley.

**Confessional: Luckily for the campers, they did not have to find any Golden Tickets.**

**Owen: This challenge sounds sweet. Literally! I get the feeling that I'm going to enjoy this challenge...**

**Izzy: Yes! I love candy! I can feel sugar flowing through my veins as we speak!**

**Sierra: Ironically, I think Blaineley gives away grief like it's candy.**

**Chef: Do I have to sing even when I'm in the confessional? Personally I'm starting to hate this challenge already.**

The campers shrugged and did as she told them. Soon enough they found themselves in what appeared to be a garden of candy.

"Where did you get all this stuff anyway?" inquired Sierra.

"Don't ask me...ask the author." shrugged Blaineley.

"The author?" inquired Cameron.

"Yeah, you know, the guy that's writing this story at his computer. Have you ever heard of him?" she asked.

"I don't think we have eh." answered Ezekiel.

"Very well. Let's just say that he's the reason why we're all here right now and that he's in control of who wins the game and who loses." she explained.

"OK..." answered Mike.

"He's in control of who wins the game and who loses? In that case he better make me the winner." Duncan murmured.

"We'll see about that." answered Blaineley.

"Can you at least tell us where you got the chocolate river?" inquired Zoey.

"A wizard made it! A wizard who happens to be the author of this story!" she screamed.

"OK..." answered Zoey.

**Confessional: There is no fourth wall in this story by the looks of it.**

**Ohforftheloveofpete: Yes...I used my reality warping powers in this story to create this factory...why you ask? Because I want candy!**

**Mike: *he is bowing down outside the confessional* I am not worthy! I am not worthy!**

**Blaineley: Did the author just use the confessional?**

**Dawn: It's too bad that none of us are probably going to get to own the factory like in that book and that movie...then again we're not old enough to run it anyway.**

**B: *he is eating some chocolate***

Curious, Owen decided to drink from the chocolate river in the middle of the candy garden. Blaineley was not amused.

"Hey! Quit contaminating the chocolate river! Go eat the grass or something! That's what all the other campers are doing!" answered Blaineley.

"But I'm not a vegetarian!" exclaimed Owen.

Blaineley sighed.

"Just be careful not to fall in, you're standing awfully close to the-"

SPLASH!

Unsurprisingly, Owen hadn't been careful and he had ended up falling into the chocolate river.

"Good thing I can float..." he thought.

Izzy apparently thought that diving into the chocolate river would be fun, because she immediately started running.

"Cannonball!" exclaimed Izzy.

Blaineley promptly facepalmed.

Unfortunately for Owen and Izzy, they ended up being sucked inside a nearby pipe. And due to the fact that one of them was rather chubby, they ended up being stuck.

"Er, where are we?" inquired Owen.

"I don't know!" exclaimed Izzy.

Blaineley pulled out a flute and started playing a few notes on it. Chef arrived shortly afterwards.

"Chef, could you get them out of there?" she inquired.

Chef pulled out a plunger and got ready to dive.

"Oompa Loompa Boppity Bat...why does Owen have to be so fat?" sang Chef.

Using the plunger, he managed to get Owen and Izzy unstuck...they promptly were sent shooting up the pipe.

"Well, it looks like Owen and Izzy won't be doing the rest of the tour with us...thankfully for each and every one of you both teams are still tied. Now then, let's continue the tour, shall we?" she said.

**Confessional: Owen may be related to Augustus Gloop. You never know.**

**Owen: Gosh, I never thought that I would end up getting stuck in a pipe...then again I once got stuck in a honey tree...**

**Izzy: *she is licking the chocolate off of her face***

**Zoey: Funny, somehow I want to dive in a river of chocolate with Mike...they say that it creates love hormones or something.**

**Staci: I wish I could be an Oompa Loompa...**

Shortly after the chocolate river fiasco, Blaineley directed the campers towards an enormous boat...which unsurprisingly was large enough to seat all of them.

"Well, here comes the flashy boat tour. Hope you aren't scared easily." she said.

Cameron raised his hand.

"Yes?" Blaineley inquired.

"I'm afraid that I might have a seizure. Can I head to the mess hall?" he asked.

"Fine, but don't blame me if you end up being voted off at the bonfire ceremony tonight. You're putting your team at a disadvantage." she answered.

"Sorry to hear that." Cameron answered as he left.

"Now then, let's hope on the boat, shall we?" inquired Blaineley.

"Who's going to row the boat? We only have one Oompa Loompa." questioned Tyler.

"Shut up!" she screeched.

_It looks like the campers are going on a chocolate factory tour...is anyone else going to misbehave and get themselves removed from the tour? Or will they stay on their best behavior? You'll find out in the next chapter...along with who gets eliminated next. Once again, it's going to be depressing._

_But as usual, the next chapter is going to be rather comedic...so don't think it's going to be a tear jerker. I don't want to make you cry too much._


	19. Day 8: A World Of Pure Imagination

Total Drama Insanity

_It's time to see whose going to be the eighth camper voted off...like I said, it's going to be depressing...but considering all the eliminations that have been happening lately it shouldn't be too much of a surprise._

**Chapter 19: A World Of Pure Imagination**

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island. When we last left off, I decided to be nice for a change and take the campers on a tour of a chocolate factory...considering what happened to them because of Phineas and Ferb I thought I would be nice for a change. Yes, even I have a good side...don't expect me to show it to you often though." explained Blaineley.

"Unfortunately for both teams, some of them decided not to listen to my instructions and they got booted out of the tour...in fact, so far Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot has lost Owen and Cameron and Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself has lost Izzy...you'd think she'd be more useful for them after the previous challenges...but oh well."

"Now then, allow me to continue the tour, shall we? I've got a lot more to show the campers...but knowing them they'll probably break the rules and get themselves kicked out. You already saw what happened to Owen and Izzy, didn't you? Now then..."

_On the boat ride..._

"There is no earthly way of knowing which way where we are going..." sang Blaineley.

"Aren't we going deeper into the factory? Logically that would be where the boat would be taking us...since you know, this is a factory tour and all..." inquired Zoey.

"Silence!" she bellowed.

"Hey! Don't tell my girlfriend to shut up! That's really disrespectful!" bellowed Mike.

"Alright then! I'll tell you to shut up! Why don't you put a zipper on your lips while you're at it?" screamed Blaineley.

"Don't tell my boyfriend to shut up! Quit being mean!" yelled Zoey.

Blaineley promptly facepalmed. This was going nowhere fast.

"Let's just get this stinking tour over with...that way we can see which one of you gets to be voted off the island next. That's always a moment I enjoy." she answered.

B raised an eyebrow.

Pretty soon flashing lights began to appear as the boat continued traversing through the chocolate river.

"Can I have some of the chocolate? I'm feeling awfully peckish all of a sudden after visiting that garden..." asked Lindsay.

"No, you stupid blonde! Go get your own chocolate! Does it look like it grows on trees?" bellowed Blaineley.

"Don't call my girlfriend stupid!" screamed Tyler.

"Not this again." she murmured, rolling her eyes.

**Confessional: Did this scene give any of you nightmares as a child?**

**Zoey: I'm starting to see why Cameron decided to leave...and it wasn't just because of Blaineley's yap.**

**B: *he is shivering uncontrollably***

**Tyler: Blaineley really seems to hate Lindsay...I wonder why?**

**Duncan: Oh please. Blaineley will have to do better than this if she wants to scare me.**

Fortunately for the campers, the boat reached its destination before any of them soiled their pants.

"Well, we're finally here. Now to show you the factory where we actually make candy...you know, like Gobstoppers and all that." Blaineley explained.

"I want a Gobstopper. Can I have one?" said Lindsay.

"Fine, you can have a freaking Gobstopper. But don't blame me if you break your teeth" she answered.

"Blaineley!" bellowed Tyler.

Suddenly, Heather noticed that there was some bubblegum nearby. Curious, she decided to chew it in her mouth.

"Say, this bubblegum tastes surprisingly good. Maybe I should give Blaineley more credit." she thought.

However, Blaineley was quick to warn Heather not to eat it. Heather immediately became curious.

"Don't eat that!" she screeched.

"Why not? It tastes like like breakfast cereal...hmm, now it's changing to some chicken wings..." Heather answered.

"Spit it out!" bellowed Blaineley.

"You think I'm listening to you? Say, now it tastes like blueberries..." murmured Heather.

Suddenly, Heather began to turn blue.

"Um, Heather..." warned Sierra.

"What?" she inquired.

Shortly afterwards, Heather began to swell up just like a blueberry. In fact, she started to grow more and more filled with blueberry juice, up until the point where she became a virtual wrecking ball.

"And here I thought Owen and B were fat..." muttered Duncan.

"You think Gwen would die to see this?" inquired Owen.

As soon as Heather realized what had happened to her body, she promptly screamed in horror.

"I'm fat! I'm freaking fat! Why god why?! What kind of ingredients were in that gum? I thought this only happened to Americans!" she bellowed.

"Don't be racist towards Americans." demanded Tyler.

"The world may never know." answered Blaineley.

As before, Blaineley pulled out her flute and called for Chef.

"Yes?" inquired Chef.

"Take Heather to the dejuicing room, will you? Then again it's not like I don't like seeing her like this...maybe I could try this with Bridgette? Maybe she would like a piece of bubblegum..." ordered Blaineley.

"Oompa Loompa Boppity Bubby...who would have thought that Heather would end up so chubby?" sang Chef as he pushed Heather away.

**Confessional: Heather deserved it.**

**Heather: I'm going to get Blaineley, if it's the last thing I ever do! At least I'm not going to have a blueberry for a daughter...hopefully anyway.**

**Lightning: Lightning thought what happened was hilarious! Maybe I should try feeding Scott this bubblegum...once he gets out of his full body cast of course.**

**Brick: And that is why you always follow direct orders.**

**Dawn: I sure hope I don't end up turning into a blueberry on this tour...**

**Ezekiel: Someone should probably get a needle and deflate her. That's what I would probably do.**

"Well, it looks like both teams are tied again. Perhaps I'm going to need a tiebreaker? Of course, this tour isn't over yet..." Blaineley noted.

"Where else are we going to go now eh? You already showed us where all the candy is made...what else do you want to show us eh?" inquired Ezekiel.

"Well, I was thinking about showing you the squirrels...the squirrels I use to get nuts..." Blaineley answered.

Duncan chuckled to himself.

"Keep the jokes to yourselves, why don't you? Now then, let's get the show on the road!" she exclaimed.

Soon enough they were at their destination. Immediately they could see several squirrels doing their business.

"As you can see, when they find a good nut, they'll be delivered through the factory. If they get a bad nut, it gets thrown down the garbage chute." explained Blaineley.

"Aww, they're so cute!" exclaimed Dawn.

B nodded his head in agreement.

"I've seen lots of squirrels before eh...although I don't think they would work at a factory..." Ezekiel pointed out.

"I want to go pet one." stated Lindsay, who entered the squirrel pen to do just that.

"Um, I wouldn't do that if I were you." answered Blaineley.

Lindsay ignored Blaineley and went to go pet one of the squirrels.

"You're so adorable! Yes you are yes you are! I could hug you for ages!" squealed Lindsay.

The squirrels then noticed Lindsay, and promptly started to gather together.

"Hmm?" said Lindsay. What was going on?

Suddenly, the squrrels began to pile on top of each other to form something very dangerous...the Squirreltron!

"Did you know that they could do that?" asked Mike.

"No, I didn't." answered Blaineley.

"Hasta la vista, baby." said the Squirreltron.

"I don't get it? What does that mean?" inquired Lindsay.

Suddenly, the Squirreltron picked up Lindsay and tossed her into a nearby garbage pit. She screamed as she fell to the bottom.

"Lindsay!" bellowed Tyler.

Immediately, Tyler entered the squirrel pen and towards the garbage pit, hoping that he would be able to grab onto Lindsay's hand and pull her out.

But in the process, he forgot all about the Squirreltron.

"This is Sparta!" bellowed the Squirreltron, who immediately kicked Tyler into the pit.

"Well, that's what those two lovebirds get for ignoring my instructions." Blaineley said. As usual, she played music on her flute. Chef promptly arrived.

"Let me guess, more campers misbehaved and suffered the consequences for it." answered Chef.

"That they did. Go get Tyler and Lindsay out of there, will you? I want to see the looks on their faces now that they're covered with garbage." answered Blaineley.

"Oompa Loompa Boppity Biss, I'm not getting paid enough for this." sang Chef.

The four remaining Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot members sighed. Their team had been reduced to half, so their chances of winning did not look too good.

**Confessional: Contrary to what Blaineley believes, the contestants on the show are not trash.**

**Tyler: *he is covered with garbage* Ugh...that was disgusting...I really hope that doesn't happen to me again...**

**Lindsay: *she is also covered with garbage* My hair...my clothes...nooo...**

**Blaineley: I guess it sucks to be Tyler and Lindsay.**

**Lightning: Something tells me that Squirreltron would make a killer football player...or maybe a soccer player...**

After Tyler and Lindsay ended up falling into the trash, Blaineley decided to show the campers one last thing before the tour was completed.

"Guess what? Right now I'm sending chocolate into television! For some strange reason this device can transfer energy into matter! And yes...I'd need nine atomic bombs to do crazy things like that!" she exclaimed.

"Aren't we already on TV?" inquired Brick.

"Whatever! Now put on your goggles so you don't burn your eyes out." Blaineley demanded.

"Burn our eyes out? That sounds horrific!" exclaimed Zoey.

"I'm starting to get the feeling that this tour isn't safe." pointed out Sierra.

"Nonsense! Of course this tour is safe! Now put on your freaking goggles already! I don't have all day!" bellowed Blaineley.

The campers shrugged and decided to do what Blaineley told them to do since she was the one in charge.

"Now, as you can see here, using these TVs I can send chocolate to everywhere in the world I please...at least it has television sets." Blaineley explained.

"Where did you get all this technology?" inquired Dawn.

"From the author! I already told you all that! Do I have to talk to you about it again?!" screeched Blaineley.

"Sorry." apologized Dawn, feeling rather sheepish.

**Confessional: The wonders of modern technology!**

**Zoey: And here I thought Blaineley was spending all the show's money on hair gel just like Chris did.**

**Mike: Did the author really build all these machines? I'm starting to wonder how much control he has over this show...**

**B: *he looks amazed***

**Dawn: I wonder who the author of this story is...maybe he's God? I don't know anymore...**

"Can you send people into a TV using that device? It sure seems state-of-the-art if you ask me." asked Duncan.

"Well, technically yes, but-"

"Alright then. Let's give it a test drive and make history!" he answered.

Duncan suddenly went over towards the enormous space laser thingamobob and was zapped inside. He promptly reappeared inside a nearby television screen.

"Uh-oh...this can't be good..." thought Brick.

Unfortunately for Duncan, he ended up being trapped in a horror movie.

"Let me out of here! There's a freaking serial killer chasing me! And he's got a machete!" he screamed.

"Fine, but you owe me big time." answered Blaineley.

Blaineley pulled out a remote from her pocket and let him out of the television.

"Guess what, Duncan! You're out of the challenge! It sucks to be you today! Just like it sucks to be Heather and Izzy...well, maybe not Izzy." bellowed Blaineley.

"Oompa Loompa boppity bee...someone has been watching way too much TV..." sang Chef.

Duncan spat on the ground in disgust and went to the Mess Hall.

**Confessional: At least the movie probably wasn't as horrifying as Alone In The Dark.**

**Duncan: I love Friday the 13th movies...but I never thought that I would actually be in one.**

**Ezekiel: I wonder why people are obsessed with watching movies that involve people dying eh. I don't understand it.**

**B: *he is holding out a picture of Jason Voorhees* *he promptly shivers***

**Zoey: I wonder who would be the first to go if we all starred in a horror movie...maybe Cameron? I don't know.**

"Not like it really matters though, because this challenge is over! Let's see how you did, shall we?" inquired Blaineley.

The campers left the factory and went back towards the mess hall, where are the campers that had been booted out of the challenge were waiting for them.

"Good to see you're back." greeted Owen.

"So, how'd you do?" inquired Tyler.

"I think we'll find out in just a moment." answered Mike.

"Let's see now...Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot lost four members...while Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself lost three...wait a minute...that means...Aargh! Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself, you're the winners today!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself promptly cheered, except for Heather, who simply rolled her eyes. As for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, they promptly sighed.

"Since I'm feeling nice today, I'm going to give you all a bunch of chocolate bars so that you can celebrate your victory. As for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, you get nothing! You lose! Good day sirs!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Dawn, Zoey, and Lindsay raised their hands.

"And ma'ams! Whatever! Anyways, I'll be seeing you at the campfire tonight...so have fun voting one of your team members off!" she bellowed.

**Confessional: Who's going to be shot out of a cannon this time? You never really know until it happens.**

**Tyler: I'm voting for Cameron, he left us early on in the tour and wasn't even kicked out for misbehaving.**

**Cameron: Tyler has my vote...no offense, but right now he absolutely smells horrid.**

**Zoey: I'm voting for Owen...maybe if he hadn't been so gluttonous we might have won the challenge.**

**Owen: *he is sucking on a Gobstopper* Hmm? Who I am going to vote for? To be honest I haven't really decided yet.**

Blaineley once again was standing near the campers, and was holding out seven marshmallows for everyone that hadn't been voted off.

"Well, because you couldn't stay on your best behavior, guess what? You lost! And now one of you rulebreakers is going to have to use the Cannon of Shame." said Blaineley.

The Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot members sighed.

"Personally, I was expecting Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself to lose considering that Duncan and Heather were on their side...but I guess that's not how it turned out. Now then, let's start handing out marshmallows." she said.

"The first marshmallow goes to Mike." said Blaineley.

"Next up is Zoey."

"Dawn."

"B."

"Lindsay."

"Owen."

Tyler and Cameron did not have a marshmallow. Immediately both of them realized that they were in trouble and that one of them was going to get voted off."

"Well, let's see whose going to be using the Cannon of Shame this time? I know both of you didn't too well during the challenge...but as it is, the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Tyler."

Tyler went to pick up his marshmallow while Cameron promptly sighed.

"Sheesh, I personally thought you would do better considering that you were the runnerup of Total Drama Revenge Of The Island...but I guess your luck ran out after that season ended. Have fun using the Cannon of Shame!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Well, I suppose I made a few mistakes this season...I did end up falling into lava early on during the first challenge...and I did get myself injured during the fourth challenge...I guess I could have done better." Cameron noted.

"Well, it's too late to do anything about that now. Get off my island!" bellowed Blaineley.

Cameron did as Blaineley told him and boarded the Cannon of Shame. Most of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot were upset, and promptly waved him farewell.

Shortly afterwards, he was launched towards the Playas Des Losers. Blaineley in particular looked happy to see him gone.

"Well, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, you've managed to get rid of some dead weight. Maybe now you can do better during the next challenge...but of course you are tied with Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself again at the moment...I guess we'll have to wait and see." answered Blaineley.

The other Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot members decided to go to their cabins and get some sleep. They needed their strength if they were going to deal with an obnoxious hostess like Blaineley.

_A few minutes later..._

"Well, it looks like Cameron has screwed up this season...apparently he got rusty following his epic loss during Revenge Of The Island...sucks to be him. Can Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Really Hot continue to win challenges without him? You'll find out on the next episode of Total Drama Insanity!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Suddenly, Staci came by to pay Blaineley a visit.

"You dor ealize that the next episode is going to be the next Total Drama Aftermath right?" inquired Staci.

"What? It is?" questioned Blaineley.

Staci nodded.

"How do I know that you're not fibbing again?" she inquired.

"Because the eighth camper just got eliminated...there's one Total Drama Aftermath for every four campers voted off...don't you remember?" explained Staci.

"Oh, right, how could I have possibly forgotten...I guess I'll see you after the aftermath special then...because I know you can't stand this show when I'm not there!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Staci raised her hand.

"Hmm?" Blaineley inquired.

"I can stand being on this show without you." answered Staci.

"Oh for the love of-" Blaineley retorted before the episode ended.

Votes:

Zoey: Owen

Dawn: Cameron

B: Cameron

Mike: Tyler

Cameron: Tyler

Tyler: Cameron

Lindsay: Cameron

Owen: Cameron

Votes:

Cameron: 5

Tyler: 2

Owen: 1

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam, Gwen, Alejandro, Dakota, Cody, Cameron

_Like I said, I said that this elimination was probably going to be shocking...if only Cameron hadn't made the mistake of deserting his team during the challenge...maybe that way he could have stayed in the game...but apparently he decided to be cautious and not risk getting a seizure...oh well._

_So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter...feel free to leave me a review like always! And yes, like Staci said, the next chapter is going to be Total Drama Aftermath...so I hope you enjoy that..._

.


	20. Total Drama Aftermath 2

Total Drama Insanity

_It's time with another aftermath special...as before, Geoff and Bridgette are going to interview four voted off contestants...which of course will be joining the campers that have already been voted off._

_Get where I'm going with this? I'm sure you do considering I already posted a chapter just like this one...but if not I still think you should understand what's happening here..._

**Chapter 20: Total Drama Aftermath 2**

Geoff and Bridgette were once again sitting next to each other, ready to interview the contetants. Sitting in the peanuts gallery were Courtney and Scott on the bottom row, Gwen on the middle row, and Sam (who was busy playing a video game) on the top row.

"Hello, I'm Bridgette." greeted Bridgette.

"And I'm Geoff!" exclaimed Geoff.

"Welcome to another episode of Total Drama Aftermath! As before, we're going to be interviewing four more campers tonight." explained Bridgette.

"We sure have been dealing with some surprising eliminations lately." stated Geoff.

"Well, they can't all be predictable." answered the surfer chick.

"Hurry up and get this stupid aftermath special over with! I don't have all day, you know!" demanded Courtney.

"Courtney, be patient. We'll get you back to the Playas Des Losers as soon as we can. So until then, try to stay cool, OK?" answered Bridgette.

"Hey, Scott, how are your injuries healing up? You sure made a remarkable recovery since that mauling you got last season." inquired Sam.

"As a matter of fact, surprisingly they are. It's a good thing I'm a cartoon character or I'd probably be crippled for life." answered Scott.

"Could you please stop breaking the fourth wall? It's getting annoying." asked Gwen.

"Who cares? This is just a story...the author can do whatever he wants." retorted the devious teenager.

"Unlike you." answered Scott's conscience.

Scott rolled his eyes.

"Anyways, our first contestant of the night as before tried manipulating his fellow contestants and instead ended up being crushed underneath a plane, well, I suppose you don't have to welcome him..." said Bridgette.

Unsurprisingly, the audience did not give him a warm welcome. Instead, they threw tomatoes and whatnot at him. Fortunately for Alejandro, he was wearing a cybernetic suit to protect him.

"Why did Blaineley have to spend so little money on this suit? It sucks! At least it's not as cheaply made as the suit Chris gave me..." muttered Alejandro.

"You think being on this suit is bad? How about being completely paralyzed!" bellowed Scott.

"Sit down, please." asked Bridgette.

He promptly sat on the chair.

"So, I have to admit, I feel sorry for you after what happened during Day 5...who would have thought that you would end up being crushed underneath a plane? Then again it's rather ironic considering that spent most of your time on this show on one..." spoke Geoff.

"Yes, I know." answered Alejandro.

"So, now that you're wearing a suit that makes you look like Darth Vader, you'll become a Sith Lord or something? Then again I don't think you have any midichlorians so you wouldn't be able to use the force." pointed out Bridgette.

"If only I could get a lightsaber...that way I could win a season of Total Drama for sure." replied Alejandro.

"So, do you want us to read your fan mail? Unfortunately, I don't think you have much." asked the surfer chick.

"Sure, why not. At least I actually have some fan mail." answered the cyborg.

Geoff came by with a short sack of letters. Like Scott, he did not have too many fans. Bridgette decided to pull out three.

"Dear Alejandro, have fun in your cyborg suit because you suck! I personally do not feel sorry for you! From Luke." read Bridgette.

"Real mature. Go ahead and laugh me and my big cyborg suit...maybe one day you'll be burned by lava or end up being crushed underneath a plane and see how I feel." he answered.

"If only something like that would happen to Courtney." Gwen said.

"Hey!" exclaimed Courtney.

"I'm starting to feel a sense of deja vu here..." murmured Scott as Bridgette opened another letter.

"Dear Alejandro, quit treating women like objects, you sick freak! It's disgusting! You got what you deserved! From Sarah." read Bridgette.

"But it's fun...and it helps me win the game, too. Now, if only I had managed to avoid that plane crash..." said the cyborg.

"I really think that you should listen to her. You've eliminated more campers on this show than anyone else." said Gwen as Bridgette pulled out yet another letter.

"Dear Alejandro, you are so hot! It's too bad that you have to wear that Darth Vader suit again...otherwise I would go out with you. From Maria." read Bridgette.

Alejandro raised an eyebrow.

"Trust me, I don't get it either." answered Sam.

"Well then, Alejandro, feel free to take a seat." said Bridgette.

Alejandro shrugged and decided to sit next to Scott.

"If Alejandro's Darth Vader, does this make me Emperor Palpatine? I wonder..." thought Scott.

"You had better not be thinking of zapping people with force lightning." warned Scott's conscience.

"Of course not. How could I possibly do that?" he inquired.

"Well, like you said, you are a cartoon character." pointed out the conscience.

"Right..." answered Scott.

"Why are you talking to yourself again?" inquired Alejandro.

"It's my annoying conscience...he keeps bothering me whenever I think about doing something wrong...which I usually do." answered Scott.

"You have a conscience? I'm actually pretty surprised considering everything you did last season." inquired Sam.

"Yes, I do, unfortunately. I just don't listen to him much." he answered.

"Maybe you need to be a better listener." noted Dakota.

"Our next contestant of the night is very popular, is currently dating Sam, and thankfully did not become a mutant this season, please welcome Dakota!" exclaimed Geoff.

The audience promptly cheered as Dakota came on stage. Sam in particular looked happy to see his girlfriend again.

"Sit down, please." said Bridgette.

Dakota nodded and sat down in the interview chair.

"So, are you happy to see your boyfriend again? I know how unhappy I was when I got separated from Bridgette..." asked Geoff.

"As a matter of fact, I sure am...although I would have liked to win the million dollars for his sake." answered Dakota.

"Don't forget fifty cents." reminded Bridgette.

"Oh, right. Fifty cents too. Kind of slipped my mind." answered Dakota.

"Did you enjoy your time on the show? I know that you didn't become a mutant this time." answered Geoff.

"Well, I am glad that the government got rid of the toxic waste that was plaguing Total Drama Island ever since Chris decided to be so anti-enviromental...it probably wouldn't be healthy for me if I became a mutant again...so yes." answered Dakota.

"I still think you look pretty even as a mutant." spoke Sam.

Dakota's cheeks turned red.

"I think you look ugly even when you aren't mutated." Courtney retorted.

Dakota frowned.

"What did you say?!" yelled Sam.

"Um, nothing?" answered a frightened Courtney.

"Good answer." said the gamer.

Geoff came by with a huge sack of fan mail. Apparently, Dakota was really popular like always.

"Let me carry that for you for a change." said Bridgette, who went to carry the fan mail next to Dakota.

"Thanks." answered Geoff.

"Phew, that bag of fan mail was heavy...but at least now we can answer some of the fan's questions...or read what they have to say, anyway." said Bridgette as she pulled out five letters.

"Dear Dakota, you are so hot! Marry me so that we can run off together! From Timmy." read Bridgette.

"Sorry, but I already have Sam." answered Dakota.

"What a flirt." murmured Gwen.

"He reminds me of himself...good for him. Maybe he'll grow up to be a manipulator like me one day." stated Alejandro as Bridgette opened a new letter.

"Dear Dakota, how did you get so popular? I want to be famous just like you. From Oscar." read Bridgette.

"Let's just say that Total Drama wasn't the first time I was on TV." answered Dakota.

"It wasn't?" inquired Sam.

"No, it wasn't. I just thought that it would be nice to be on a reality show for a change, that's all." nodded Dakota.

Bridgette opened the third letter.

"Dear Dakota, can you become a mutant again? That would be so awesome! From Bart." read Bridgette.

"Sorry, I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. The government got rid of all the radioactive goop that turns animals into mutants and whatnot." apologized Dakota.

"I wish I could become a mutant...that way I could win this show with ease..." murmured Scott.

"Who would want to become an ugly mutant?" inquired Courtney.

"I wish you would become a mutant. You're a freak. " retorted Gwen.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"This argument could go on for ages..." thought Sam.

"Enough fighting you two! I wouldn't want to come over there..." exclaimed Geoff.

Bridgette read the fourth letter.

"Dear Dakota, what was it like to be a sunflower? I play Plants vs. Zombies in my spare time. From John." read Bridgette.

"It felt kind of funny to be honest. It's too bad that I couldn't put the sunlight to good use...that was what screwed my team over to be honest." answered Dakota.

"Not to mention how amazingly ugly you are." retorted Courtney.

"Shut up!" bellowed Sam.

Bridgette pulled out the final letter.

"Dear Dakota, why are you named after a state? From Ohio." read Bridgette.

"My parents simply thought that it would be a good name for me. I suppose I can see why you would ask that though." answered Dakota.

"Dakota, you can go sit with your fellow campers now." said the surfer chick.

Dakota nodded and went to sit next to Sam.

"Our third contestant of the night keeps being stalked by Sierra and was unfairly eliminated by Blaineley, please welcome Cody!" exclaimed Geoff.

As before, the audience went into applause.

"Thanks for the applause." answered Cody as he went to take a seat.

"So, it seems that Sierra still can't seem to stop paying attention to you, huh? She sure is awfully clingy..." Geoff noted.

"Ah yes...I'm starting to wonder if I should get a restraining order...I don't think that would stop Sierra though." pointed out Cody.

"I'm sure it felt bad that you were eliminated simply because Blaineley decided to be mean towards my namesake team again...sheesh, why does she think I'm so ugly, anyway? I don't understand." Bridgette said.

"I'm afraid so. At least now I won't have to worry about Phineas and Ferb torturing me...those two were evil." said the boy.

"I agree." answered Geoff.

"Now then, let's get your fan mail, shall we? You sure have a lot of fangirls to say the very least..." said Bridgette.

"Ironically enough, so do I." answered Gwen.

Geoff as before dragged in a heavy bag of fan mail. He started to wonder if he was going to injure himself doing this. As before, Bridgette decided to pull out five letters.

"Dear Cody. You are so hot! I want to kiss you! Let's go on a date! From Amelia." read Bridgette.

"Sierra, do I have a girl for you." noted Cody.

"Funny, didn't I receive a letter like that just a few minutes ago?" inquired Dakota.

"Yes, you did." answered Sam.

"This letter has a kiss mark on it!" exclaimed Cody.

"It's not from me, in case you were wondering." answered Gwen.

"OK, I suppose that fangirl got a little carried away...let's hope that whoever wrote this letter is a bit calmer." said Bridgette as she opened another letter.

"Dear Cody, you should lift some weights or sometihng. You look so weak! From George." read Bridgette.

Cody looked offended.

"Oh sure...make fun of me because you think I'm weak. I finished in third place on Total Drama World Tour, you know...and all the while I had to deal with Sierra trying to choke me to death...do you still think I'm weak after that?" questioned Cody.

"You've got a point there!" agreed Geoff.

"I still think you're weak. I threw you to the sharks, didn't I?" Alejandro inquired.

"Don't mention any sharks..." shivered Scott.

Bridgette opened the third letter.

"Dear Cody, it's a shame that Gwen doesn't love you back. But I know I love you! From Valentina." read Bridgette.

"It seems that Sierra isn't the only one that can't get enough of me." Cody noted.

"I can never have enough of my girlfriend." said Geoff.

Bridgette's cheeks turned red as she opened a fourth letter.

"Dear Cody, Sierra must be unhappy now that you're gone. Do you think that she'll be OK? From Mist." read Bridgette.

"All I can say is that I hope for the best." answered Cody.

"She sure has an unhealthy obsession with you, doesn't she?" pointed out Gwen.

Cody nodded in agreement.

"Why can't more people be obsessed with me?!" bellowed Courtney.

"Because nobody likes you." answered Gwen.

Bridgette opened the final letter.

"Dear Cody, I was expecting you to do better considering how far you got during Total Drama World Tour...maybe next time, eh? From Phil." read Bridgette.

"Ah yes...there sure have been some shocking eliminations lately...I wasn't expecting Alejandro to be the fifth one to go to be honest...I thought that he would last longer." agreed Cody.

"Unfortunately, I didn't. And it's all because of that freaking plane crash." pouted Alejandro.

"I'm starting to see why Owen is so afraid of them." noted Sam.

"I sure hope I don't end up in a plane crash." nodded Dakota.

"OK, you can go sit on the rafters now." said Bridgette.

Cody nodded and tried to sit next to Gwen, but she told him to sit on the far side of the middle row.

"What? I just wanted to sit down, that's all." said Cody.

"If you say so." answered Gwen.

"Our final contestant of the night used to be a bubble boy and is now a bubble man, and is rather shortsighted, please welcome Cameron!" exclaimed Geoff.

The audience as usual cheered as Cameron went to take a seat.

"So, I'm sorry to hear that you ended up being voted off eighth...I personally thought you would have done better." stated Geoff.

"I guess I didn't help my team out enough...I did it make it far during the fourth season...too bad I lost to Lightning at the end." noted Cameron.

"I know how that feels." agreed Gwen, recalling her surprising defeat during the finale of the original Total Drama.

"Let's read your fanmail shall we? You've got a large amount of it...just like Dakota and Cody here." noted Bridgette.

Dakota and Cody simply shrugged.

Geoff came by with a large sack of fan mail...personally he was beginning to feel glad that not everyone on the show was well-liked. As usual, Bridgette pulled out five letters. She immediately opened one.

"Dear Cameron, I think nerds are cute. From Lucca." read Bridgette.

Cameron's cheeks turned red.

"It's nice to hear someone say that." answered Cameron.

"I think nerds are cute too." agreed Dakota.

Sam promptly blushed.

Bridgette opened the second letter.

"Dear Cameron, why is it whenever you're scared, you always run up to Zoey? She already has a boyfriend, you know. From Wesley." read Bridgette.

"I don't know...we're just good friends, I guess. I don't know how I could have gotten so far on the show without her..." answered Cameron.

"You sure you're just friends?" inquired Geoff.

"Yes, I'm sure." he answered.

"Why won't anyone be friends with me?!" demanded Courtney.

"Do I really have to answer?" retorted Gwen.

"Personally I think if I was scared I would run up to Sam." noted Dakota.

"You would?" answered Sam.

"Of course!" exclaimed Dakota.

"If you think I'm the toughest man around...then go ahead." said Sam.

Bridgette opened the third letter.

"Dear Cameron...I'm going to give you a wedgie! From Larry." read Bridgette.

Cameron's face turned white.

"Does he mean it?" he inquired.

"He probably has too much time on his hands. I know I do!" exclaimed Geoff.

"I have a lot of free time in my hands too, nowadays...since you know, I'm freaking crippled!" exclaimed Scott.

"I thought you said your injuries were healing." answered Sam.

"Yes, but it's taking forever! You think that since I was a cartoon character I would heal faster..." he bellowed.

"I wonder if my injuries will heal..." thought Alejandro.

Suddenly, one of his bones began to knit.

"Huh. What do you know. I guess being a cartoon character does have its perks." he murmured.

Bridgette opened the fourth letter.

"Dear Cameron, please be my girlfriend! From Sheila." read Bridgette.

"I don't know...I think I should get to know you first...and I'm not sure if my mother would approve." said Cameron.

"Still a mama's boy, I see!" taunted Scott.

"Grow up, Scott." demanded Dakota.

"Yeah! Listen to her, why don't you?" agreed Scott's conscience.

Scott simply sighed.

Bridgette opened the final letter.

"Dear Cameron, have you ever gone to gym glass? From Jack." read Bridgette.

"To be honest, my mother never lets me go there...she says it's too dangerous for me to lift weights or things like that." explained Cameron.

"Sorry to hear that, buddy!" replied Geoff.

"Come to think of it, I'm surprised that she let me on this show in the first place. Granted, it was my father's idea...but being on an island full of mutated animals? Personally, I'm starting to wonder why I wasn't torn to shreds..." said Cameron.

"You got lucky, Cameron, you got lucky." answered Scott.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today. So far we've interviewed eight campers...and by the time the show ends, we'll have interviewed all twenty-two." Bridgette said.

"Sounds like something we should look forward to!" exclaimed Geoff.

"It is, Geoff, it is. It's always nice to answer other people's questions. So until next time, I'm Bridgette." said Bridgette.

"And I'm Geoff!" exclaimed Geoff.

"And we'll be seeing you next time." said the surfer chick.

All the voted off campers along with Bridgette and Geoff promptly left the stage.

_Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter...so far eight campers have been voted off...of course, at the rate I'm posting all these chapters I should probably be done with this story before long..._

_You probably want a preview for what's going to happen next...as a matter of fact, the next challenge is going to be a cookoff...hopefully the campers have more of a culinary talent than Chef does. Otherwise Blaineley won't be too happy with them._

_But for now I hope this chapter will keep you entertained for a while...so see you later!_


	21. Day 9: Bon Appetite

Total Drama Insanity

_In this chapter, the campers are going to be competing in a cookoff...are you wondering whose going to make the best dish? Before you ask, it's not going to be me...granted, I am the author but that doesn't mean I'm actually competing in this story...so no, I will not be participating in this challenge. Heh heh._

_Are you still asking? Well, if you're that curious, you're going to find out in the chapter that comes after this one...but for know let's simply start this episode..or day...or whatever.._

**Chapter 21: Bon Appetite**

"Well, welcome to another episode of Total Drama Insanity...thankfully nobody came to invade the show this time...anyways, in the last episode, I decided to make the campers go on a tour...specifically, a tour of a chocolate factory. You know, like Willy Wonka? I'm sure you've probably heard of him before..." explained Blaineley.

"I instructed the campers to stay on their best behavior or they would be booted out of the challenge...but guess what? Not all of them listened! Some of them ended up stuck in a pipe...one of them ate tainted bubblegum...two others fell down a garbage chute...and yet another got trapped in a television set...I guess they should have listened to me!"

"But guess what? Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself actually won again! And unfortunately for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot they had to vote another camper off...since Cameron wussed out of the challenge fairly early on he ended up getting shot out of the cannon. What a baby he turned out to be. I'm personally surprised he doesn't wear a diaper. Maybe he wears a pullup?"

"Now then, it's for the next episode of Total...Drama...well, you know what I'm going to say by now." said Blaineley.

_One theme song later..._

With Cameron now at the Playas Des Losers, it was now Owen, Tyler, Mike, and B. B and Mike in particular looked rather upset that he was gone, even if he had ultimately cost his team the challenge.

"It's a shame...I would have liked to see him win...but I guess that can't happen now. Why did Blaineley include a ride on her tour that involved us getting seizures, anyway?" questioned Mike.

B simply shrugged.

"I personally enjoyed the tour even I did end up being stuck in a pipe...the candy was just so delicious!" exclaimed Owen.

"I enjoyed the tour too...I had to take four showers just to get all the garbage off of me though." pointed out Tyler.

"Sorry to hear that. Who would have thought that those squirrels would toss you and Lindsay down a garbage chute?" answered Mike.

"I personally hope that the next challenge involves food too...I can never stop eating." said Owen.

"I think I already knew that. I bet when the season is over you'll be making a trip to McDonalds." replied Tyler.

"Silly me. And yes, I'll probably be going to a fast-food restaurant...whether I win this season or not. I just love fast food so much!" answered Owen.

B nodded his head in agreement.

**Confessional: As I said before, this challenge does in fact involve food.**

**Owen: If only I actually won a golden ticket so that I could visit a chocolate factory...**

**B: *he is reading Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory***

**Tyler: I just hope that the next challenge doesn't involve sports...I remember how badly we did during the baseball challenge...**

**Mike: I personally wonder how long it's going to be until the merge...so far nearly half of the campers have already been eliminated...I guess I'll just have to wait and see.**

_Now, let's check on the girls..._

Like the male members of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Dawn, Zoey, and Lindsay were once again communicating with each other about what had happened during the last episode. Like B and Mike, Dawn and Zoey were rather depressed about Cameron's elimination.

"It's a shame that Cameron had to go this time...he was a good friend of mine." said Zoey.

"Yes...to be honest, I didn't know him that well since I was on the Toxic Rats last season...but he seemed nice enough." agreed Dawn.

"Who are you two talking about?" inquired Lindsay.

"Cameron. He got eliminated last episode, remember?" spoke Zoey.

"Oh right. Why did I forget that? I was at the bonfire ceremony! Or whatever it was..." answered the blonde, scratching her head.

"I'm starting to wonder how many of us are going to be left before the merge...so far we seem to be on pretty equal footing with our opponents...I wonder if that's going to change though." noted Dawn.

"Did you make another prophecy again that involves bad things happening?" asked Zoey.

"Actually, no. I just wonder how we're going to do until the merge, that's all." answered Dawn.

"Oh, I see." answered the indie chick, letting out a sigh of relief.

**Confessional: That's a question you're probably asking too.**

**Dawn: *she is busy meditating* B is cute...wait, why did I say that while I was meditating?**

**Zoey: It would be nice to make the merge again...with Scott gone maybe Mike and I can make it to the finals together...**

**Lindsay: What is this merge that my friends are talking about? I don't know what it is!**

_Let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

Duncan, Brick, Lightning, and Ezekiel were satisfied with their latest victory, to say the very least. However, Duncan seemed to have been rather traumatized after his encounter with Jason Voorhees.

"For a moment there I thought I was going to die..." said Duncan.

"Sorry to hear that." answered Brick.

"Why would you want to get zapped into a television anyway, eh? You're already on TV!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

"I guess I didn't think that one through. Wait, did you just break the fourth wall?" agreed Duncan.

"What? People on this show do in all the time! Don't you know, eh?" answered Ezekiel.

"If Lightning was there, he would beat the crud out of Jason Voorhees! He's no match for me!" exclaimed Lightning.

"You do realize that Jason Voorhees has superhuman strength, right?" pointed out Brick.

"He does?" inquired Lightning.

"Yeah...I don't think taking him mano-to-mano would be such a good idea." warned Ezekiel.

"Aww..." pouted Lightning.

"I never want to ignore Blaineley's instructions ever again." said Duncan.

**Confessional: Hopefully Jason Voorhees will not invade this show like Phineas and Ferb did.**

**Duncan: And to think I actually enjoy watching Friday the 13th...after that little incident I don't think I'll be able to watch that again.**

**Lightning: Are they sure Lightning wouldn't be a match for Jason Voorhees? If so I wouldn't want to end up fighting him...**

**Brick: I don't think even an entire army could take out Jason Voorhees...then again, I'm just guessing.**

**Ezekiel: I wonder how Duncan would react if he got zapped into Teletubbyland.**

_Let's check on the girls side as we've done before..._

Heather, Izzy, and Sierra were sitting in the cabin on their bunk beds. Unfortunately for Heather, her mishap with the tainted gum had left her skin blue. She wondered if it would ever wear off.

"Ugh...curse Blaineley and her stupid bubblegum...now I'm probably going to be stuck like this for the rest of my life. Then again I am a lot more flexible now..." noted Heather.

"You should be glad that you didn't drink the Fizzy Lifting Drinks. Otherwise you would have had to burp your way out, and that would have been embarrasing." pointed out Sierra.

"Yeah! Otherwise you would have been torn to shreds by a ceiling fan! Your blood and guts would have been sprayed everywhere!" exclaimed Izzy.

"Ugh. Thanks for that disgusting imagery." answered Heather.

"What? It really would have happened! Those blades must have been going at a thousand miles per hour! I personally wonder if you would have been made into candy..." said Izzy.

"Who would want to make candy that was made out of human flesh?" inquired Sierra.

"I don't know! Ever read Soylent Green?" asked Izzy.

"I don't think I ever have." answered Sierra.

"Nor would you ever want to, apparently." responded Heather.

**Confessional: Thinking about Soylent Green makes my face green...if you get what I'm saying.**

**Izzy: I wonder if the flavor of Soylent Green varies from person of person...oh wait, I think it does!**

**Heather: I personally wonder if Izzy would actually eat human flesh...personally I think that she would eat anything...just like Owen apparently.**

**Sierra: Chef had better not cook Cody and serve him as a meal or he will be in for it!**

_Speaking of Chef..._

"Gee, I sure have a lot more fan mail ever since I saved the island from Phineas and Ferb...they must think I'm a heroine or something." noted Staci.

"Ah yes...if you ever compete on another season on this show you're probably not going to get voted off for a change..." agreed Chef.

"I know...being voted off first stinks! And to add insult to injury I lost all my hair to that toxic marshmallow..." pointed out Staci.

"Believe me, it wasn't my idea to introduce a radioactive marshmallow as part of a bonfire ceremony." answered Chef.

"I sure hope not." agreed Staci.

"Come to think of it, I don't know what Chris was thinking when he decided to turn the island into a wasteland...I personally liked the island the way it was...you know, before there were mutated animals that wanted to have the campers for their supper..." said Chef.

"I see." answered Staci.

"So, are you going to say that your ancestors invented something? That's what you usually do." he asked.

Staci simply shrugged.

"Oddly, I don't feel like doing that right now." she said.

**Confessional: Let's hope it stays that way.**

**Staci: You know, my great-great-great-great grandfather invented the confessi-Whoops, there I go again!**

**Chef: At least Staci is more bearable to be around than Blaineley and Chris are. Sheesh, what's up with those two?**

_Now let's see what Blaineley's planning.._

"Gee, that chocolate factory challenge sure made me feel hungry...in fact, I think my stomach is starting to grumble. Then again maybe it's because I eat a lot of fiber. I don't know." said Blaineley.

This gave Blaineley an idea for a challenge.

"Say...maybe I could make the campers make me a meal...that way I won't have to deal with Chef's crummy cooking...either that or I could help myself to whatever is in his fridge...for some reason, the food that's left in the fridge always tastes far more delicious than his cooking..." she thought.

"Nah! I'll just make the campers cook something...maybe if I'm lucky they'll bake me a cake or something." she said.

She then went to the kitchen to inform Chef of the challenge.

"Hi Blaineley! Is it time for the next challenge?" inquired Staci.

"In fact, I just came out with it...I'll call the campers in just a few minutes." she answered.

"What is the challenge, anyway?" asked Chef.

"It's what you do on a regular basis." answered Blaineley.

"Is it a military challenge?" asked Hatchet.

"Actually, I think it's a cooking challenge." said Staci.

"I guess you're slightly smarter than I thought! Now if you excuse me I'm going to use the headphones..." she said.

**Confessional: If they can't take the heat, the campers should stay out of the kitchen.**

**Chef: I hope that the campers know what they're doing...because if one of the ovens explodes, I'm going to be mad!**

**Blaineley: Seeing though Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself probably has no culinary talent, I think they're going to lose! Joy oh joy. *a wide grin forms on her face***

**Staci: I wonder what the campers are going to make...**

_A few minutes later..._

"Campers, it's time for the next challenge. Report to the mess hall." she said.

"But we're already in the mess hall." answered Owen.

"Oh. Well, never mind then." answered Blaineley.

Sure enough Blaineley came by wearing a cooking uniform.

"Oh! Is this a cooking challenge?" inquired Lindsay.

"As a matter of fact, it is! You're going to be making some food using the various ingredients I've set up for you...personally I hope you're better at cooking than Chef Hatchet is, because I'm going to giving you a score if I like the food you made or not." she explained.

Chef Hatchet promptly frowned.

"I see." nodded Tyler.

"Now then, report to the kitchen!" demanded Blaineley.

The campers nodded and did as Blaineley demanded. However, no sooner had the campers arrived did a familiar guest pay them a visit...

"Graarghh!" exclaimed James.

Suddenly, the door to one of the ovens opened, revealing a very angry James.

"This challenge already happened during the first season! This challenge isn't original at all! This challenge freaking sucks! Why can't Blaineley get her own ideas?!" exclaimed James.

"Well, there's no cursed idol to make one of the teams lose this time." pointed out Heather.

"Who cares? I still think this challenge sucks!" bellowed James.

"You know, my great-great-great-grandfather invented the oven-he thought it would be useful for cooking t-"

Staci was suddenly interrupted when James screamed at the top of his lungs once again.

"Will you just shut up?! Good lord you talk a lot! I'm glad you were voted off first during Revenge Of The Island! You were so freaking annoying!" exclaimed James.

"You're one to talk." retorted Blaineley.

Staci frowned.

"Hey, James." said Izzy.

"What?" answered James.

Suddenly, Izzy threw another pie at James' face. As before, he ran away crying.

"Sheesh, he really needs to calm down, doesn't he?" asked Zoey.

"It sure looks that way. Maybe he should take an anger management class or two?" agreed Mike.

**Confessional: James just won't mind his own business.**

**James: This time the pie was blueberry...which is ironic considering how blue Izzy makes me feel!**

**Izzy: Tossing pies in people's faces is so much fun! Maybe I should do that to Owen, I think he would like that...**

**Chef: Maybe I should bake some more pies...that way Izzy can keep throwing them at James' face.**

"Well, now that we've gotten rid of that annoying pest, we can resume this challenge. Now then, start cooking!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"What should we cook?" inquired Tyler.

"Does it matter? Just cook something I like! Or what you like! It doesn't matter!" bellowed Blaineley.

"If you say so eh." answered Ezekiel.

_Let's see what Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot has come up with..._

The campers then began to decide what they should make. There were so many possibilities they could use...but just what should they ultimately decide on.

"Maybe we could make her a hamburger or something." suggested Owen.

"I think that's probably not a good idea. In case you haven't noticed, Blaineley's pretty concerned about her good looks. I don't think she would want something greasy and fattening." disagreed Zoey.

"Oh, right. I guess we can throw that idea out the window then." agreed Owen.

"Maybe we could make her some pancakes. I'm sure that she would like that." said Dawn.

"Good idea, but I think she already had breakfast. It's already midday, remember?" contradicted Zoey.

"Oh...I guess you're right then...

"You think we should make her some milk? I like milk." Lindsay inquired.

"That's not food, Lindsay. That's a drink." replied Tyler.

"Whoops!" exclaimed Lindsay.

Suddenly, B pulled out a picture of some cookies.

"Say, I think that's a good idea, B! I think everyone here likes cookies..." Dawn said.

"I think we should probably model them after Blaineley's face since she's so vain...that way she'll like them even more." pointed out Zoey.

"Sounds good to me!" nodded Mike.

"Then it's settled then. We'll all start making cookies." agreed Tyler.

**Confessional: We're cooking cookies! Get it? Meh, not all puns are good.**

**Tyler: In retrospect we could have also made brownies...but I think cookies will make Blaineley happy too.**

**Lindsay: Maybe if we're lucky Blaineley will share the cookies with us!**

**B: *he is smiling, and he is wearing a chef's hat***

**Zoey: I think we're going to do well during this challenge...the only question if we can beat Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...**

_Now let's see if Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself can come up with something better..._

Like Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, the campers were busy discussing what exactly they should make to Blaineley. Since she said that any type of food would go, there were a lot of possibilites.

"Maybe we should give her some steak. I ate a lot of that when I was at military school and it tasted great!" exclaimed Brick.

"I don't know Brick, she's probably a vegetarian eh." pointed out Ezekiel.

"Good point." agreed Brick.

"Maybe we should give her some cookies that are shaped like baseballs!" exclaimed Lightning.

"I don't think she's a sports fan." disagreed Heather.

"Aww!" whined Lightning.

"Maybe we could give her some chocolate?" Sierra inquired.

"She just took on a tour of a chocolate factory. Why would she need chocolate?" pointed out Duncan.

Sierra frowned.

"Ooh I know! Let's make her a cake! I love cake!" bellowed Izzy.

"Say, that seems like a pretty good idea...let's add frosting to it saying that Blaineley rocks!" squealed Sierra.

"Blaineley rocks?" questioned Duncan.

"We want to get on her good side, don't we?" pointed out Brick.

"I agree with Brick. Let's be nice to Blaineley for a change eh. Even if she's never nice to us." agreed Ezekiel.

"I guess you guys are right. I suppose we should probably butter up Blaineley. That way she might tilt the game in our favor instead of our opponents." stated Heather.

"Fine fine fine. We'll add frosting to the cake showering Blaineley with praise. Are you happy now?" reluctantly agreed Duncan.

"Yes! Yes we are!" squealed Izzy.

**Confessional: Bake me a cake as fast as you can!**

**Izzy: *she is wearing a chef's hat* This challenge is going to be so awesome!**

**Heather: *she is rolling her eyes* Personally I think my team are going to screw this up...**

**Duncan: *he shrugs* I suppose I can do something nice once in a while if it means that my team wins a challenge.**

**Brick: *he salutes Blaineley with respect***

_And the cookoff has begun! Who's going to win, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot and their cookies? Or Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself and their cake? Of course, you'll find out in the next episode...which you're probably going to be anticipating judging by the reviews I've received for this story._

_And yes, there's going to be another shocking bonfire ceremony...I know I've said it before, but they can't all be predictable, now can they?_


	22. Day 9: Glutton For Punishment

Total Drama Insanity

_Well, it's time to see whose going to actually win this challenge...and whose going to be using the Cannon of Shame this time...like I said, it's probably going to surprise you..._

**Chapter 22: Glutton For Punishment**

"Welcome back to Total Drama Insanity. In the last episode, the campers agreed to start cooking something for me to eat...as I said before, I will be rating them based on how good or how bad it tastes...I figured that at least one of them will do well...personally I'm looking forward to seeing Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot win like always..." said Blaineley.

"Speaking of which I think they're making something as we speak...I personally wonder what it is! Then again I don't really feel like checking on them...so I guess I'll leave them to their own devices."

"Anyways, I suppose I should probably get back to the show now. Like I said, I'm looking forward to this challenge."

_Let's check on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot..._

"So, does anyone know where to get the cookie dough? I'm pretty sure we won't be able to make cookies if we don't have it." inquired Zoey.

"My guess is that it would be in the fridge. Blaineley did say that she got us some supplies that we could use." pointed out Mike.

"Good idea...Owen, why don't you check the fridge?" asked Zoey.

Owen shrugged and went to get the cookie dough, taking a few bites out of it as he did so.

"I wouldn't reccomend that if I were you, Owen. We need that for the challenge. And you might get salmonella!" exclaimed Dawn.

"What's salmonella?" inquired Owen.

B handed Owen a dictionary.

Owen read through the dictionary and eventually he understood.

"Oh. Why didn't my parents tell me about that?" asked Owen.

The other Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot members shrugged. Their parents had warned them about salmonella as a child. Why not Owen?

**Confessional: They really should have told him about that.**

**Zoey: I'm just glad that we still have more than enough cookie dough to make cookies.**

**Lindsay: I don't know what salmonella is either...but I agree with Luna...we should save the cookie dough for the challenge!**

**Tyler: I just hope that Owen can control his enormous appetite...otherwise we might be in trouble.**

_Now let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

"Ezekiel, get us the eggs, please." inquired Brick.

"Why me eh? Just wondering." Ezekiel said.

"No reason...I just figured you would be the right man for the job considering that you grew up at the farm your entire life." answered Brick.

"Sorry I questioned orders then, eh." apologized Ezekiel.

"No big deal. I did that back when I first started military school...didn't turn out so well for me." noted Brick.

"I never obey orders! Orders are for sane people!" exclaimed Izzy.

"You're not sane?" inquired Sierra.

Heather simply rolled her eyes.

Ezekiel came back with about a dozen eggs.

"Perfect." said Duncan.

Suddenly, he threw one of the eggs at Ezekiel, causing it to be splattered all over his face.

"Aaugh! Watch it, buddy!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

"What? I saw an opportunity and I went for it!" bellowed Duncan.

"That sounds like fun! Let Lightning try!" exclaimed Lightning.

"No Lightning, we need that for the challenge." answered Brick.

**Confessional: It seems that Duncan is egging Ezekiel on.**

**Ezekiel: In retrospect maybe we could have used a few of these eggs to make an omelette eh. But I'm not sure Blaineley would want that.**

**Lightning: You know, maybe Lightning could make some crazy sport out of all this. You never know.**

**Heather: My teammates are going to screw this up, I just know it. Why couldn't I have been on the other team?**

**Duncan: So what if I threw an egg at Ezekiel? We still have eleven more!**

_Back to Team Blaineley is Really Really Really Really Hot..._

B splattered the cookie dough across the pan, taking his time as he did so.

"You think we should add anything to those cookies?" inquired Dawn.

B shrugged.

"I suppose we should do that after we're actually finished with them...personally I think we should add frosting and some chocolate chips." suggested Zoey.

"That sounds good...do you have frosting though? I really think we should add frosting. I think Lindsay would like that." asked Mike.

Tyler went to investigate the cabinet and sure enough, he managed to find some on the top shelf.

"Do we have any frosting?" asked Owen.

"As a matter of fact, we do! Seeing though Blaineley is blonde maybe we should use yellow frosting..." suggested Tyler.

"Sounds good to me! I'm blonde too!" exclaimed Lindsay.

"I thought you dyed your hair." pointed out Tyler.

"Oh, right." answered Lindsay.

**Confessional: You'd be surprised about the things that Lindsay forgets.**

**Lindsay: Er, what are we making again? I can't remember.**

**Tyler: So far, so good. Hopefully we won't screw this up like we screwed up the chocolate factory challenge.**

**Owen: *he is rubbing his stomach* This challenge is starting to make me hungry...**

**Zoey: All we have to do now is stick the cookies in the oven!**

_Let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

"Izzy, go get the flour and make yourself useful, why don't you?" asked Heather.

Izzy nodded and went to get some flour.

"You should have asked me! Lightning would have brought the flour as fast as-"

"Lightning?" Duncan interrupted Lightning.

"Yes! Lightning!" bellowed Lightning.

"You sure asking her to give us some flour is such a good idea?" Sierra inquired.

"What could possibly go wrong eh?" asked Ezekiel.

Ezekiel's question was answered when Izzy suddenly came back covered with flour.

"I'm a spooky ghosty now! Oooh!" exclaimed Izzy.

"What happened? Why are you covered with flour?" asked Brick.

"You're as white as a sheet!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

"I thought that the flour would be fun to play with!" exclaimed Izzy.

"We need that for the challenge, Izzy." pointed out Sierra.

Duncan rolled his eyes.

"Oh, we do? Silly me!" exclaimed Izzy.

"She's got my vote if we lose." thought Heather.

**Confessional: Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters? RCMP? **

**Izzy: *she is still covered with flour* Fear me! I am haunting this island! Oooooooooo!**

**Ezekiel: If there's really a ghost on this island, we should probably call the Ghostbusters eh.**

**Sierra: Is there a ghost in this confessional? I heard oooing. If so, I wish Cody was here to protect me...**

**Heather: Izzy's so immature...probably even immature than Duncan is really.**

**Duncan: Izzy thinks that she can scare me...nice try. I was already in a horror movie with Jason Voorhees!**

_Hopefully Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot isn't playing with flour..._

Putting on some cooking gloves, B opened the oven and then stuck in the cookies. He of course then closed the oven and set a time and a temperature.

"I guess now we're going to have to wait...and hope that the oven doesn't explode." said Zoey.

Everyone stared at Zoey.

"What? Everyone knows that Blaineley never spends much on giving Chef cooking supplies." pointed out Zoey.

The rest of the campers nodded in agreement.

"Seeing though the cookies won't have finished baking for a while, what do you think we should do in the meantime?" suggested Mike.

"I don't know...go play a game or something?" inquired Owen.

"Maybe we could go on a nature walk." suggested Dawn.

"That's a good idea as any." agreed Tyler.

"What's a nature walk?" asked Lindsay.

Tyler whispered into Lindsay's ear.

"Oh. Alright then." answered Lindsay.

**Confessional: It's a good idea to play another game when you're playing the waiting game.**

**B: *he is smiling with satisfaction***

**Tyler: It looks like a job well done.**

**Owen: *he is thinking about food***

**Lindsay: I'm still not sure what a nature walk is...**

_Let's see if Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself have stuck their cake in the oven yet..._

"So, have you got the milk and the cake mix?" asked Brick.

"Yes I do." answered Sierra.

"Let's put them in then and start stirring." suggested Heather.

The campers agreed to this...and pretty soon the cake was almost ready.

"Now let's stick it into the oven and wait for it to cook eh." said Ezekiel.

Brick nodded and stuck the cake into the oven. Like B, he set a specific time and a specific temperature.

"Now let's wait a few minutes for it to cook." suggsested Brick.

"Wait a few minutes?! Izzy can't wait that long! Let's cook it now!" bellowed Izzy.

"Hmm?" asked Heather.

Izzy suddenly set the temperature up about two thousand degrees or so, and set the timer to a single second.

"No, Izzy, no!" bellowed Brick.

Suddenly, the oven exploded, sending the members of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself flying.

"Is everyone OK?" inquired Sierra.

"I think so." answered Ezekiel.

"Lightning's still in tip top shape." answered Lightning.

"Izzy, what were you thinking!" bellowed Heather.

"I thought it would be awesome!" exclaimed Izzy.

"Well, it looks like our cake is ruined. Sucks to be us." retorted Duncan.

"Actually, I think the cake is fine. Isn't it that over there?" pointed out Brick.

Miraculously, the cake was perfectly fine...and it was now fully cooked.

"I don't believe it!" exclaimed Heather.

**Confessional: I am well aware that a certain pirate already tried something like this.**

**Izzy: Yes! We're going to win this challenge for sure!**

**Ezekiel: Who would have thought that would actually work, eh? I certainly didn't.**

**Chef: Who blew up one of my ovens? Was it Izzy again?! Sheesh...the things I have to put up with.**

**Duncan: Personally, I would have liked to see that again...yes, maybe I'm as crazy as Izzy herself. Don't judge me.**

_Now let's check on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot..._

"Well, that nature walk was nice. Now let's check on the cookies." said Dawn.

Curious, B opened the oven to see if the cookies were ready. As a matter of fact, they were. He promptly smiled.

"I guess the only thing we have to do now is to start decorating them." said Mike.

Zoey nodded. She promptly started spraying the yellow frosting on the cookies, and then added chocolate chips to serve as eyes.

"Shouldn't we add lips?" suggested Tyler.

"Oh, right!" exclaimed Zoey.

Picking out some red frosting from the shelf, she then started spraying lips on each of the cookies.

"Looks like a job well done." she said.

The other campers nodded in agreement.

"Now then...Owen, you deliver the cookies. We'll head to the Mess Hall to see how this turns out." said Tyler.

"I sure we get a good score!" exclaimed Lindsay.

"I think we probably will." answered Mike.

The other campers promptly left Owen to his own devices.

Suddenly, the chubby boy's stomach began to grumble.

"Gee, I'm feeling awfully hungry...I don't think the campers will mind if I have just one..." he thought.

He then reached forward to grab one of the cookies.

**Confessional: I don't like where this is headed.**

**Owen: *he lets out a burp***

**Dawn: I just felt a chill go down my soul...or maybe it was that ice cream cone I had yesterday.**

**B: *he is grinning with satisfaction***

**Tyler: Let's hope that we don't lose this challenge...otherwise Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself will actually be ahead of us...**

_Now let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

Sierra pulled out some blue frosting and started adding lettering to the cake. When she was finished, it read "You rock, Blaineley!"

"You think that she'll like this?" inquired Sierra.

"As a matter of fact, I think she will!" answered Ezekiel.

"We should add candles to the cake! Candles are awesome!" squealed Izzy.

"Well, if you say so." answered Brick.

Sticking a few candles on the cake, he promptly lit them using a few matches he found in the top drawer.

"Sheesh...I'm starting to wonder if this whole kitchen is one enormous fire hazard." he thought.

They then went to deliver the cake to Blaineley.

"Oh, I see you finished first...and how'd you know that it was my birthday?" she inquired.

"It was your birthday? I mean...happy birthday, Blaineley!" exclaimed Heather.

After reading the text on the cake, Blaineley promptly blew out the candles.

"Well, consider yourself lucky, because you all receive a perfect ten!" she exclaimed.

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself promptly cheered.

**Confessional: Something tells me Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot isn't going to be as fortunate.**

**Heather: Huh, I guess I underestimated my team. Maybe they're not quite as dumb as I thought.**

**Ezekiel: Maybe it's my lucky pendant again...I don't know eh.**

**Izzy: Yes! Izzy knew that we could win!**

**Lightning: Lightning still thinks that we should have made the baseball-shaped cookies...**

_Now let's see how Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot are doing..._

"Ah, I see that you finished making your little treat as well. By all means, show me what you made!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot nodded and waited for Owen to arrive.

"Gee, he sure seems to be taking a while...I wonder what he's doing in there..." spoke Mike.

"Yeah, me too! I wouldn't want to keep Blaineley waiting..." agreed Zoey.

"I'm starting to sense a disturbance..." said Dawn.

B promptly frowned. That couldn't have meant anything good.

Sure enough, Owen came by with the pan of cookies...but much to Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot's surprise, all that was left was crumbs!

"What happened?!" exclaimed Lindsay.

Blaineley was not amused.

"Whose leg do you think you're pulling? I'm giving you a zero! Sheesh, to think that you would give me crumbs..." said Blaineley.

The other campers promptly glared at Owen.

"What were you thinking?! You just sabotaged your own team!" exclaimed Tyler.

"Sorry." apologized Owen.

"Sorry don't change the fact that you just destroyed all our hard work! Those cookies were supposed to be for Blaineley!" yelled Zoey.

"You should have behaved yourself, you whippersnapper!" shouted Mike, who was now in his Chester personality.

Owen simply sighed. His gluttony had cost his team the challenge.

"Well, considering the fact that Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself were the only ones that actually bothered to do the challenge correctly, they're the winners for today! As for you, you lose again! Have fun at the bonfire ceremony!" exclaimed Blaineley.

As before, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself celebrated while Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot lamented their loss.

**Confessional: Things aren't looking too good for Owen.**

**Owen: I'm voting for Lindsay...why you ask? Because she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer...no offense, Tyler.**

**Tyler: (outside the confessional) I heard that! Sheesh, first you sabotage your own team and now you insult my girlfriend! Ugh!**

**Mike: *he is still in his Chester personality, and he is snoring***

**Zoey: Sorry Owen, but I can't let you stay with us after what you did...**

_Here comes the next bonfire ceremony..._

Once again, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot were waiting for the results of the bonfire ceremony. Blaineley was holding out five marshmallows to represent who hadn't been voted off.

"Well, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, for the first time in the competition, you're going to be behind Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...in retrospect maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to throw the challenge." pointed out Blaineley.

Owen dropped his head sadly.

Now then. You know the drill, If I give you a marshmallow, you're still in the game. If I don't give you a marshmallow, then it's sayonara. And yes, you will have to use the Cannon of Shame." said Blaineley.

"I think I already know who's going to go." stated Dawn.

"Well, don't tell your campers then! You wouldn't want to spoil the surprise, wouldn't you?" answered Blaineley.

"I guess not." she agreed.

"Anyways...the first marshmallow of the night goes to...B. Not much of a surprise there." said Blaineley.

B nodded his head in satisfaction.

"Dawn, you're also safe from elimination tonight. Lucky you!" exclaimed Blaineley.

A smile formed on Dawn's face.

"Zoey, you're safe too."

"Mike."

"Tyler."

Lindsay and Owen still did not have a marshmallow. Lindsay looked nervous while Owen looked at the ground sadly.

"And the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Lindsay."

Lindsay accepted her marshmallow happily while Owen sighed.

"I suppose I deserve this." Owen said.

"Owen, it's time for you to be shot out of the Cannon Of Shame." explained Blaineley.

Owen nodded. He promptly walked away from the other campers and went to the Cannon of Shame...

...However, there was one small problem.

"Um, there's a problem with that. I don't think I'll be able to fit in there. It's too small for me." said Owen.

Blaineley raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm...you're right. I don't think you'll be able to do that...I guess we're going to have to think of something else." agreed Blaineley.

She then noticed the Boat of Losers that James had hijacked so that he could return to the island and continue harassing everyone on the show. She got an idea.

"Well, I guess we can just use the Boat of Losers over there. Chef!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"What? I thought you wanted me to shoot the campers out of a cannon?" inquired Chef.

"Well, Owen won't fit in the Cannon of Shame, apparently...so could you drive the Boat of Losers back to the Playa?" inquired Blaineley.

Chef simply shrugged.

"Well, seeing though Owen and I are on good terms, I suppose I could do this again just this once." agreed Chef.

"Funny, I never really thought I would end up boarding this boat considering that I never lost during the first season." said Owen.

"Well, I didn't expect this either. All aboard!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Owen nodded and went to board the Boat of Losers. It promptly sped off in the night.

Chef came back on the Boat of Losers without Owen a few minutes later.

"Well, with that rather interesting elimination aside...hopefully you'll do far better tommorrow now that Owen's not around to sabotage you. So have fun!" exclaimed Blaineley.

_A few minutes later..._

"Well, I'm actually a bit depressed about that elimination myself...to be honest, Owen was probably the only camper here that I remotely liked..." murmured Blaineley. "Personally I would have thought that he would have made it to the merge as usual...but oh well."

"So, now that Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is outnumbered by Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...how do you think they're going to do in future challenges? Can they recover from their losses? Or will they be attending another bonfire ceremony? Find out next time on Total...Drama...Insanity!"

Votes:

B: Owen

Dawn: Owen

Zoey: Owen

Mike: Owen

Tyler: Owen

Lindsay: Owen

Owen: Lindsay

Owen: 6

Lindsay: 1

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam, Gwen, Alejandro, Dakota, Cody, Cameron, Owen

_Well, there goes Owen. Like I said, this elimination was rather surprising...if only Owen hadn't eaten those cookies...maybe that way his team would have won? But he couldn't control his gluttony and he paid the price for it. Oh well._

_In the next episode, the campers are going to participate in a Quidditch match...you know, from Harry Potter...hope you enjoy that._


	23. Day 10: A Game Of Quidditch

Total Drama Insanity

_In case you were curious, yes, the merge is going to arrive in just a few more chapters...in other words, all the campers will be playing the game solo soon..._

_Of course, you probably want to know whose going to leave the island before the merge...so let's find out._

**Chapter 23: A Game Of Quidditch**

"Hello and welcome to another episode of Total Drama Insanity...in the last episode, I made the campers cook up a storm...and interestingly enough, that particular challenge was my birthday...yes, I know. What a coincidence, huh?" questioned Blaineley.

"Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot decided to bake me some cookies...while Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself decided to bake me a cake...and for some strange reason, I decided to give Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself a perfect ten."

"As for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, they ended up being sabotaged. Owen got hungry and ate the cookies that the campers had spent time and energy baking...suffice to say his team weren't too happy with him. In fact, they decided to give him the boot."

"Unfortunately, I wasn't able to shoot him out of the Cannon of Shame because he was chubby, so I decided to make him ride the Boat of Losers instead...nobody ever seems to use it these days except for that obnoxious, angry James fellow."

"With Owen gone, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot are at a number disadvantage for the first time in the competition. Can they recover from their losses and earn another victory? Find out on this episode of Total...Drama...Insanity!"

_Let's check on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot..._

With Owen gone due to his gluttonous actions in the last challenge, there were now three boys left in the Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot cabin. In this case, it was Mike, Tyler, and Beverly...or as he referred to himself B.

"I didn't really expect us to suddenly be at a disadvantage like this...before we always seemed to be tied with Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself at worst...but now we're short one team member...I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this..." stated Mike.

B in particular wondered what his team was going to do now that his team had lost twice in a row. It certainly was going to be harder to win this challenge than usual now that they were slightly outnumbered.

"Well, Owen did eat all the cookies and cost us the challenge. Curiously enough, he wasn't able to fit into the cannon and had to use the Boat of Losers...I guess he really needs to diet or something." pointed out Tyler.

B nodded in agreement. What was Owen thinking? He deliberately sabotaged his own team just like Scott did on a regular basis...and it was all because he couldn't control his appetite. What was his team coming to?

"If only he hadn't decided to eat our food...maybe that way we could have won the challenge and not lose horribly. But I guess it's just our fate...and yesterday it decided to treat us cruelly. Ah well." noted Mike.

B once again nodded. It seemed that Owen's gluttony had ultimately led to his downfall and got him booted out of the fifth season. Hopefully he wouldn't eat so much if he ever competed on the show again.

Then again, his team had allowed him to bring the cookies to Blaineley instead of delivering it as a team...apparently that wasn't such a good idea judging from what happened next.

"I sure hope that we don't get sabotaged this time. Baking those cookies was hard work and I don't want our efforts to go to waste this time." spoke Tyler.

"I agree, Tyler. I agree." nodded Mike.

**Confessional: Let's hope Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot do better this time.**

**Tyler: I'm sad that Owen that gone...but at least now we probably don't have to worry about being sabotaged.**

**B: *he has a pompom on his right hand, showing that he is hoping for his team's success***

**Mike: All of a sudden there's just three of us...it feels kind of funny...just a couple of days ago there were five...**

_Let's check on the girls..._

Dawn, Zoey, and Lindsay were feeling a bit depressed. For once, the odds were actually in Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's favor. This was a rather unusual experience for them, as before they were tied with their opponents at worst.

"This is turning out to be a bit of a twist, isn't it? We always seemed to do so well before...but now it looks like we might be in a losing streak...If only Owen hadn't eaten the cookies...maybe that way we wouldn't have had to tend a bonfire ceremony." noted Zoey.

"Ah yes...I hope that if we lose again B won't get voted off...I'd be rather upset if that happened." agreed Dawn.

"It's nice to see that you don't want to vote off your teammates." said Zoey.

"Yeah...it's going to be pretty hard on us if we keep losing team members...and not just because we need them for challenges." answered Dawn.

"I heard that Team Bridgette made a cake for Beverly...did you know that it was her birthday?" asked Lindsay.

"No, I did not. Then again I'm not sure if anyone would want to celebrate her birthday considering how mean she is..." answered Zoey.

"It's a shame we didn't realize that, though, we could have probably sent her a birthday card to get on her good side...assuming that she has a good side, of course." pointed out Dawn.

"I suppose we could have done that." agreed Zoey.

"Wait, whose birthday was it again?" inquired Lindsay.

"It was Blaineley's." Zoey answered.

"Oh, right." realized Lindsay.

**Confessional: Who could possibly forget Blaineley's birthday? Apparently everyone.**

**Zoey: Maybe if Blaineley was nice to people for a change people will give her presents and get her a birthday cake like Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself did...of course, what I'm saying is probably just wishful thinking.**

**Dawn: I wonder how B is doing...**

**Lindsay: Happy Birthday to you, Beverly! Happy Birthday to you! Oh wait, wasn't her birthday yesterday? And why am I saying this while I'm in the confessional?**

_Now let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself..._

Duncan, Ezekiel, Brick, and Lightning were happier than ever. For once, they had the advantage over Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot. Granted, it had occurred due to the fact that one of their team members had been careless, but they decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Woohoo! We've finally gotten a number advantage!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

"Ah yes...outnumbering the opponent's forces is an obvious military tactic..." Brick agreed.

"Is everything a military operation to you?" inquired Duncan.

"What? When you've been in the military as long as I have it kind of comes naturally to you." pointed out the cadet.

"You remind me of the time where my quarterback buddies and I dogpiled our opponents...it worked surprisingly well." spoke Lightning.

"Yeah...ambushing your opponent is generally a good tactic too." agreed Brick. "Remind me to do that if there's a paintball challenge..."

"Have you played paintball before, eh?" questioned Ezekiel.

"As a matter of fact, yes I have. In fact, I play it all the time." answered Brick.

"I usually play sports...that's what Lightning is best at, after all." replied Lightning.

"I'm best at giving nerds wedgies...it's my hobby." said Duncan.

"Why do you keep doing that, eh?" demanded Ezekiel.

"Why? Simple. It's fun!" answered Duncan.

"Not to the nerds, it isn't." retorted Ezekiel.

**Confessional: Duncan in the reason why many of the nerds at his school go commando.**

**Brick: If Duncan tried the things that he did if he was in the military, he'd probably receive some lashings...not a pleasant thing to think about, is it?**

**Lightning: So many nerds, so many wedgies to give!**

**Ezekiel: Why does Duncan have to be so cruel to nerds eh? I don't think they ever did anything to him...**

**Duncan: Maybe I should give Ezekiel a wedgie...I personally wonder how he would react...**

_As usual, let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's girls..._

Heather, Izzy, and Sierra were also rather happy about their victory to say the very least. For some strange reason, Izzy's tactic of setting the oven to an improbable temperature actually worked.

"You know, maybe bunking with Izzy isn't so bad...if she keeps winning challenges for her team then I suppose she can stick around a while longer. Of course, I'll probably want to make an alliance with her at some point...I don't think it would be too difficult...or maybe I should just get her voted off...it's not like that thought has approached me before..." thought Heather.

"Way to go, Izzy! Because of you we're ahead of our opponents now!" exclaimed Sierra. "It's a shame that Cody isn't here to see this..."

"It's OK...you'll be able to see him again at the Playas Des Losers!" squealed Izzy.

"That's only if I get voted off...and to be honest, I think Cody would want me to keep playing even if I do keep annoying him..." she answered.

"You two annoy me all the time." retorted Heather.

"What are we doing wrong?" inquired Sierra.

"Everything." she answered.

Suddenly, Izzy threw a pie at Heather's face. She promptly screamed in rage.

"Ugh! Why can't you do that to James like you usually do?" she demanded to know.

"I don't think he's here today!" answered Izzy.

"I'm sure he'll show up if Blaineley decides to be unoriginal again or you make references to other stories on ..." explained Heather.

"But this is a girl's cabin! He's not allowed in here!" exclaimed Sierra.

"Oh, right." answered Heather, rolling her eyes.

**Confessional: James may not be well-liked in this story...but so far the fans seem to like him. Ironic huh?**

**Izzy: Now to get more pies from Chef!**

**Sierra: Personally James scares me a bit...it's too bad I don't have Cody to protect me anymore...**

**Heather: How much longer is it going to be until the merge? I'm starting to go crazy just like Izzy here...**

_Now let's check on everyone else..._

Much to Chef and Staci's surprise, Blaineley was once again dressed as a witch. The only real difference was that this time she was holding a broom.

"Are you practicing witchcraft?" inquired Staci.

"No, I'm not. Why do you ask?" answered Blaineley.

"Well, now she resembles what she's like on the inside...I always knew that she was a witch...this isn't the first time she's dressed as one after all." thought Chef.

"Guess what Chef? Today there's going to be a Harry Potter challenge!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"You're not going to make me dress up as an Oompa Loompa again, are you?" he inquired, still embarrased about what he endured during at the chocolate factory.

"Of course not! You don't think we're going to do another Willy Wonka challenge, are you?" answered Blaineley.

"Thank goodness...I couldn't stand rhyming so much...it hurt my tongue." muttered Chef.

"Well, your cooking hurts my tongue, so I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine...or in this case, your own food!" retorted Blaineley.

"You know-"

"Silence! I don't want to hear anything about your fake ancestors!" Blaineley interrupted Staci.

"I just wanted to say that Charlie and The Chocolate Factory actually has a sequel known as Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator...it hasn't made it to the theaters yet though..." answered Staci sheepishly.

"Interestingly enough they decided to call the 1971 film Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory instead of the original novel's name..." continued Chef.

"Whatever! Maybe I should do a trivia challenge sometime featuring you know-it-alls...but for now I'm just going to do a Harry Potter challenge like I said..." said Blaineley. "And before a certain angry fanboy rages about the challenge being unoriginal...I'll have them know that the challenge is going to very different."

Fortunately for Blaineley, James did not actually show up.

"Maybe his parents finally took him home?" inquired Chef.

"I doubt it. He never wants to leave me alone...or this show for that matter." answered Blaineley.

"Maybe he invented stalking others?" inquired Staci.

"You sure it wasn't one of your ancestors?" answered Chef.

"I hope not." answered the chubby girl.

**Confessional: Where could James possibly be?**

**Blaineley: *she lets out a sigh of relief* Good grief...some of the fans of this show are crazy...I never thought that one of them would sneak into this show and start ranting about it though...**

**Chef: James didn't seem too happy about Blaineley replacing Chris to begin with...I wonder if he'll yell at me if I ever decide to retire from this show...**

**Staci: James is really mean...why can't he control his anger? Maybe he should take some anger management classes...come to think of it, maybe Blaineley should sign up for one...**

_It's challenge time!_

Once again, the campers were at the mess hall eating their lunch. As usual, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot was sitting at one table while Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself was sitting at another table.

"Funny, it seems that after we're all done talking to each other and using the confessionals, Blaineley suddenly decides to start a challenge." said Zoey.

"I know, Zoey! I have to admit, for a crabby hostess that seems to thrive off of our suffering, she really seems to be on a tight schedule." pointed out Mike.

"Blaineley should be here right about...now." said Dawn.

Sure enough, Blaineley showed up to direct the campers to their next challenge.

"Guess what challenge we're going to do again?" inquired Blaineley.

"Is it another horror challenge?" inquired Izzy.

"You're wearing a witch costume again...only difference is that you're now holding out a broom eh." noted Ezekiel.

"Good guess but no...we're actually doing a Harry Potter challenge." answered Blaineley.

"Funny...people compare me to Luna Lovegood sometimes...I wonder why?" inquired Luna.

"Specifically, we're doing a Quidditch challenge." said Blaineley.

"A Quidditch challenge? What's Quidditch?" inquired Lindsay.

"You'll find out." answered the hostess.

Blaineley took the thirteen campers towards an arena with six hoops...apparently that was where the challenge was going to occur.

"Now then, you all are going to ride around on these brooms. Since I'm feeling a bit lazy today I'm going to have one of the interns explain this to you." said Blaineley.

"Is it Staci?" inquired Lightning.

"Good guess but no. I'm actually going to have Harold over here explain it to you..." the hostess said.

As it turns out, Harold was nearby, and he was dressed somewhat like Harry Potter, and had the lightning scar on his head.

"Are you sure about this? I've only read the first book in the series...and I've just started the second book..." questioned Harold..

"Explain the rules or you're canned." answered Blaineley.

"Fine...here's how it's going to work...three of you are going to be playing as Chasers...your job is to knock the Quaffles into the hoops and score points for your team.

"What's a Quaffle?" asked Lindsay.

"It's kind of like a soccer ball." answered Harold.

"Sounds like a job for Lightning then!" exclaimed Lightning.

"Two of you will be playing as Beaters...your job is to keep Bludgers away from your team...and preferrably knock them towards your opponents." continued Harold.

"I'm starting to wonder if this game is safe..." questioned Tyler.

"Unfortunately, no. Apparently Blaineley values your lives as much as Chris does...or should we say as little." answered Harold.

"Fair enough." nodded Duncan.

"One of you is going to be the Keeper. Your job is to prevent your opponents from getting the Quaffle into the hoops." answered Harold.

"You mean like a goalie eh?" questioned Ezekiel.

"Yes, like a goalie." answered Harold.

"I'm starting to question if this is like a flying game of soccer." noted Brick.

"It has its similarities. The last player on your respective teams are going to be the Seekers...these are definitely the most important. Your job is to capture the Golden Snitch...as it's worth 150 points." explained Harold.

B promptly whistled.

"Well, that's how the game works. Any other questions?" inquired Harold.

Mike raised his hand.

"Yes?" he asked.

"We only have six players on our team instead of seven...how are we going to make a full Quidditch team?" said Mike.

"Well, I suppose two of you can be Chasers instead of simply three...anything else?" inquired Harold.

"I think we're good." answered Zoey.

"Alright...have fun...and try not to get yourself injured. Of course, you'll have to decide who gets to be who before hand." said Harold.

The campers nodded as they decided to come up with a strategy.

**Confessional: Yes, this is how Quidditch is actually played in the Harry Potter universe.**

**Harold: I'm surprised that I know all the rules of Quidditch to be honest. Maybe I'm more of a Harry Potter fan than I thought...either that or I just have a good memory.**

**Lightning: This challenge is going to be easy! Lightning's awesome at sports!**

**Izzy: Izzy hates flying! Why do we have to ride around on broomsticks?**

**Ezekiel: I never thought that I would one day ride around on a broomstick eh. But then again I never would have expected I wouldn't be voted off first.**

_Let's see who Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot picked to be who..._

"Can I be one of the Chasers? Just wondering." inquired Zoey.

"Sure, why not. You seem like a good candidate for the job as any." agreed Tyler.

"What's a Chaser?" inquired Lindsay.

"Harold just explained that. Don't you remember?" inquired Tyler.

"Oh, right!" exclaimed Lindsay.

"I guess I'll be the other Chaser then." agreed Mike.

"I'll be one of the Beaters...whatever that is." said Lindsay.

"I'll be the other Beater...and B over here says he wants to be the Keeper." said Dawn.

B nodded.

"I guess I'll be the Seeker then." agreed Tyler.

**Confessional: Game, set, match!**

**Tyler: I sure hope that I can find the Golden Snitch before our opponents can...I don't want us to be at an even greater number disadvantage.**

**Dawn: Those Bludgers sure sound dangerous...I should really whack them away from my teammates...**

**Lindsay: What's a Beater?**

**Mike: I'm not really sure what's the point of being a Chaser if a Seeker can just earn one hundred and fifty points for their team...**

_Let's see who Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself are going to be..._

"I want to be one of the Chasers! Pick me, pick me!" exclaimed Izzy.

"Funny, I was thinking that you were going to be the Seeker considering how much you've helped us out...but never mind. Speaking of which, I guess I'll be one of the Chasers too." said Sierra.

"Make that three eh." agreed Ezekiel.

Izzy and Sierra looked at Ezekiel.

"What? It's not like I'm sexist anymore...I learned my lesson the hard way." answered Ezekiel.

"I sure hope so." answered Heather.

"I'll be one of the Beaters...sending Bludgers after my teammates sounds fun." Duncan agreed.

"As much as I don't like you...I think I'll be one of the Beaters too." agreed Heather.

"I'll be one of the Keepers...I like the idea of defending my teammates..." said Brick.

"I guess that means Lightning is going to be the Seeker!" exclaimed Lightning.

"Yeah yeah yeah, just don't let it go to your head." answered Heather.

"You can count on me!" exclaimed the jock.

**Confessional: Lightning is as fast as...well, Lightning.**

**Lightning: Lightning's going to get the Golden Snitch easy! That flying ball can't outrun me!**

**Izzy: This challenge is going to be so awesome!**

**Ezekiel: It feels a bit funny to be working with two girls eh...but I guess that's just the way it is.**

**Heather: Ugh...the sooner the merge comes...the better...**

_A few minutes later..._

"So, are you all ready?" inquired Blaineley.

The other teams nodded.

"Well, unfortunately for you, you're going to have to wait a bit because we're cutting to commercial." said the hostess.

The campers groaned.

"Don't blame me! Blame all those stupid advertisers that use commercials to get money! I hate them with a vengeance!" she exclaimed.

"I don't see what's so bad about them." answered Chef.

"Well, I think they're evil!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"You mean like you?" inquired Duncan.

"Shut up!" bellowed Blaineley. "Just cut to commercial!

_Just to make things clear..._

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot:

Chasers: Zoey, Mike

Beaters: Dawn, Lindsay

Keeper: B

Seeker: Tyler

Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself:

Chasers: Izzy, Sierra, Ezekiel

Beaters: Heather, Duncan

Keeper: Brick

Seeker: Lightning

_Who do you think is going to win this? Will Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot recover from their loss in the last episode...or is Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself dig them a deeper hole?_

_Find out in the next chapter of Total...Drama...Insanity!_


	24. Day 10: The Golden Snitch

Total Drama Insanity

_Welcome to another chapter of Total Drama Insanity...as you can probably tell...in this chapter there's going to be another elimination...it's not going to be your standard elimination though...I can tell you fact, it's going to be rather depressing. Like I said, they can't be all comedic like Courtney's elimination...or to a lesser extent what happened to Owen...although like I said, it was a shame when it happened._

_By now, you're probably itching for me to tell what happens. Well, start reading!_

**Chapter 24: The Golden Snitch**

"Are we back on the air now?" inquired Sierra. "This usually only takes a few minutes...just asking."

"As a matter of fact, we are. You can start your little Quidditch match in just a few moments." answered Blaineley.

"Alright then. Let's get started." nodded Mike.

The campers promptly went to collect their broomsticks...and in the case of the Beaters, their bats.

"How do we fly these things?" asked Lindsay.

"Press the button on their handles." explained Blaineley.

The campers agreed and suddenly they started to lift off into the air.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Zoey.

"Are you all ready?" inquired Blaineley.

The campers nodded.

"Good...now start flying!" she exclaimed.

All of the campers started flying around the arena...looking for Quaffles to toss inside the hoops.

"Gosh, we're up pretty high eh..." noted Ezekiel.

"What did you expect? We're flying on freaking broomsticks!" exclaimed Heather.

"I know, but still!" answered Ezekiel.

**Confessional: Give Ezekiel a cape instead of a broom and he'd be Captain Obvious.**

**Ezekiel: I'm getting a little nervous about this challenge...I sure hope that we don't fall.**

**Heather: *she is rolling her eyes***

**Lightning: Ezekiel's being a bit of a baby...so what if we're high in the air! It's not like that we have to look down...**

"Where is the Quaffle anyway? According to Harold it should be around here somewhere...does someone else already have it?" inquired Mike.

"I think I see it over there, actually.." answered Zoey, pointing to one in the distance. "Either that, or I'm hallucinating. Hmm."

"Oh...well, it didn't take long for us to find one. I guess it's just our luck then. Speaking of which we don't seem to be doing too well during challenges." answered Mike.

Unfortunately for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, Lindsay mistook said Quaffle for a Bludger and whacked it towards Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself.

"Hey!" exclaimed Mike.

"What?" questioned Lindsay.

This gave Izzy the opportunity to toss the Quaffle as hard as she could...straight into the hoop past B's head...giving her team ten points. Harold promptly yelled on a loudspeaker to inform the campers.

"Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself has scored ten points!" Harold exclaimed.

"What?! You've got to be freaking kidding me! They have to be cheating or something..." bellowed Blaineley.

Chef sighed. Somehow, he doubted that Blaineley would ever let go of her petty grudge against Blaineley.

The other Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot members promptly glared at Lindsay for her treason.

"Whoopsie daisy!" exclaimed Lindsay.

"How she scored ninth place in the original season or why I let her join my alliance, I have no idea." noted Heather.

**Confessional: What an epic fail.**

**Tyler: *sighs* My girlfriend really screwed that up...let's hope that she doesn't get voted off at the next bonfire ceremony.**

**Lightning: Lindsay is making this way too easy! If she keeps it up, we might not even need the Golden Snitch to score a victory!**

**Dawn: Why can't Lindsay tell a Quaffle apart from a Bludger? Isn't it obvious? The Quaffle is red while Bludgers are silver...unless maybe she's colorblind.**

**Zoey: Hopefully next time Lindsay will bat a Bludger and not a Quaffle...I really don't want a fiasco like that to happen **

B sighed in disappointment. Already his team was losing 10-0...granted, the Golden Snitch would be well-above that if the Seeker managed to grab it...but that was a liability at best. He could only hope that he would do a better job at keeping the Quaffles away from the hoops.

Suddenly, one of the Bludgers rushed straight towards him...but due to the fact that he was somewhat chubby it ended up bouncing right off of him, causing him to scratch his head. Maybe his luck wasn't so bad after all.

To make things better for B, he managed to block the next few Quaffles from Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...and in a rather ironic twist of fate he managed to hit one of the Quaffles hard enough to send it flying through one of the hoops.

"Well, what were the chances of that?" inquired Brick.

"Meh, I've seen more impressive things in my lifetime." disagreed Duncan.

"Way to go, B!" cheered Dawn.

B's face promptly turned pink, while Heather's face turned red.

"You've got to be freaking kidding me. How could he have done that? The hoops were like fifty feet away from him! I think he was probably cheating... " she said.

"I thought that was totally awesome!" exclaimed Izzy.

"He sure is a good Keeper, I'll admit. I'm not even sure if I could do that myself. It sure didn't look easy." said Brick.

"I do admit that it was rather impressive. I wonder if Cody could do sometihng like that." agreed Sierra.

Heather promptly facepalmed.

**Confessional: Yes, sometimes that happens in soccer.**

**Zoey: We can do this! Well, hopefully we can anyway. I don't want to be lose three challenges in a row...**

**B: *he smiles in satisfaction***

**Dawn: I'm glad that B's on the same team as me...he's such a fine man.*her cheeks turn pink***

**Brick: I'm glad that B's such a good keeper and all...but I'm not sure how I'm supposing to compete with the likes of him...**

_Meanwhile on the bleachers..._

"Have the Seekers spotted the Golden Snitch yet? I want to see who wins this challenge...and who loses, of course." inquired Blaineley.

"I don't think they have...I know that the two Seekers are both looking hard for it...but judging from the fact that they're simply flying around all over the place rather than chasing after it, they don't know where it is..." answered Harold.

"How long is this match going to take? We don't have all day, you know! We've got a challenge to complete here!" questioned Blaineley.

"Well, the game only actually ends once a player has captured the Golden Snitch...in the Harry Potter universe, a game of Quidditch once took three months. Quite a long game, huh?" answered Harold.

"Three months?! We've got less than two weeks to get this season of Total Drama finished! Gosh darn it to heck!" bellowed the hostess.

"I'm starting to get hungry..." stated Staci, as her stomach began to grumble.

"Why do you think Chef made popcorn?!" bellowed Blaineley.

"I already finished my bag..." she explained.

"Well, go and get another bag then!" screeched the rather short-tempered lady.

"But I want to watch the game..." complained Staci.

Blaineley promptly began pulling on her hair.

**Confessional: Blaineley is throwing a temper tantrum once again!**

**Blaineley: Staci is hopeless...**

**Harold: I personally don't think this match will last three months...but I'm starting to question whether Quidditch was short enough to simply last for one episode.**

**Chef: Sheesh...if I knew that Staci was so hungry I would have given her a larger bag...oh well.**

Unfortunately for both teams, the duo of Bludgers were proving to be quite a nuisance. They regularly swept around the field, looking for campers to knock off their brooms.

Unsurprisingly, this made it harder to toss the Quaffle into the hoops. Thankfully, all four of the Beaters were doing their job pretty well...with the exception of Lindsay, of course.

"Ow!" exclaimed Zoey. Apparently one had hit her in the shoulder...and to add insult to injury had left a small bruise. Zoey began to wonder if she should expose as much skin as she usually did while playing the sport.

"Are you OK, Zoey?" asked Mike.

"I think so, yeah...those Bludgers sure are a doozy though. I'm just glad that it didn't hit me on the head or I might have gotten a concussion..." answered the indie chick.

"Sheesh, Quidditch sure seems like a brutal sport. Makes me wonder why people in the Harry Potter universe play it so much." noted the teen with multiple personality disorder.

"Well, there are iron balls of doom flying around looking for campers to knock off their brooms..." pointed out Dawn as she batted said Bludger away and towards Duncan.

"Ow! For a girl Dawn hits like a guy...has she been taking steroids or something?" muttered Duncan as he was almost knocked off his broom.

"I sure hope that nobody in the Harry Potter multiverse ever got seriously injured playing this game." worried Lindsay.

"Well, there was this one time where Harry Potter broke his arm because of a Rogue Bludger...it wouldn't stop trying to hurt him...Gilderoy Lockhart tried to heal him but instead he removed the bones instead and basically turned his arm to jelly." pointed out Dawn.

Mike stuck out his tongue in disgust.

"Yes...I know, it was kind of gross...and to make matters worse he had to drink this potion that caused him pain and tasted nasty just so that his bones would grow back." she continued.

"I feel sorry for him." answered Zoey.

**Confessional: Don't we all? He is an orphan, after all...**

**Dawn: Harry sure had to earn his happy ending, didn't he? Then again so did all the other campers on this show...**

**Harold: *he is reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets* There's a basilisk going around making people petrified? Sheesh...I'm starting to see why Dobby didn't want Harry to return to Hogwarts...**

**Blaineley: He's just a literature character! Why does he matter to them so much? Sheesh...I don't understand these teens.**

The challenge continued on and on, with both Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot and Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself getting the Quaffle through the hoops several different times. Eventually, both teams were tied 100-100...it looked like it could be anyone's game at that point.

All the while, Tyler kept looking vigorously for the Snitch. Wherever it was, it was hiding itself pretty well. Either that, or he simply wasn't looking hard enough. Why did finding the Golden Snitch have to be so hard?

Of course, he wasn't the only one that was searching. Lightning was looking for it as well...and he was getting rather frustrated. Apparently, the Golden Snitch was as fast as...well, lightning. It certainly wouldn't be easy to capture it and win the game for his team.

"Where could it possibly be? It's got to be around this arena somewhere...the only question is where exactly..." they both wondered.

Suddenly, Tyler noticed that there seemed to be something golden approaching him...he rubbed his eyes to see if it was the Golden Snitch.

"Well, speak of the devil." he thought.

Sure enough, there it was...and it sure was speedy. Apparently getting one hundred and fifty points for his team wasn't going to be easy.

Hopefully Lindsay would be proud of him if he managed to capture the Golden Snitch...although he wondered if she would even listen.

Unfortunately, Lightning noticed the Golden Snitch too. He immediately began to chase after it.

"Oh no you don't! The Golden Snitch is mine!" he exclaimed.

And the race was on to capture the Golden Snitch. They rode their brooms all across the arena, hoping to catch the snitch and earn their team a victory and not have to attend another bonfire ceremony.

"Give up already, Tyler! There's no way that you're going to get the Snitch before Lightning does!" bellowed Lightning.

"No way! I'm not going to let my team down!" answered Tyler.

"Fine...but don't say that Lightning didn't warn you!" he exclaimed.

"I certainly won't." he answered.

Although the Golden Snitch was fast, it wasn't too long before it was in the two Seekers' grabbing distance. Tyler quickly reached out his hand to grab the Golden Snitch...

...when suddenly a Bludger knocked him off his broom.

"Aaah!" he screamed as he hit the ground with a thud.

"Timmy!" bellowed Lindsay.

Seizing his opportunity, Lightning grabbed the Golden Snitch.

"Yes!" he exclaimed.

"Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself have captured the Golden Snitch and earn 150 points! Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself are the winners of this challenge!" Harold exclaimed.

Blaineley, who was drinking some soda at the time, promptly spat it in Harold's face.

"Hey! Take it easy!" demanded Harold.

As before, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself began to celebrate, while Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot grew even more depressed. How could they have ended up in such a bad losing streak? It seemed that luck hadn't been on their side over the past few days.

"Wait, where's Tyler?" questioned Dawn.

"I think he fell off his broom and plummeted to the floor..." pointed out Mike.

"What?!" exclaimed Lindsay.

**Confessional: Blaineley never takes it easy.**

**Harold: *he is rubbing his face with a washcloth* I know that she was surprised to see that Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself won, but did she really have to spit in my face?**

**Blaineley: *she is banging her head against the wall***

**Lightning: I told Tyler that he couldn't listen...no! Nobody beats Lightning! Why does he think that I won Revenge Of The Island?**

**Staci: Yay! Go Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself! You guys rock!**

**Chef: Well, wasn't that a victory...but what happened to Tyler? It looked like he took a nasty fall.**

Immediately, Lindsay lowered her broom so that she could see if Tyler was OK...

Unfortunately, he had been injured by the fall. In his case, his left arm had been broken.

"Ow...my arm..." he said.

The other campers noticed that Lindsay had rushed out of the sky to see if her boyfriend was alright, and decided to check on him as well. Blaineley, Chef, Staci, and Harold also left the bleachers to see if he was alright as well.

He was promptly taken to the medical tent. Nurse Hatchet promptly came out of the medical tent a few minutes later. Judging from the frown in his face, Tyler wasn't doing so well.

"I'm afraid that I've got some bad news...Tyler has fractured his arm...I'm not sure whether it was from the fall or because the Bludger hit him in the elbow...but either way, he's not in good shape." he explained.

The campers promptly gasped in shock...even Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself were rather upset about it. It was rather surprising information for both teams...although Alejandro and Scott had suffered greater injuries in the past.

"Oh dear...it looks like we're going to have to kick another camper out of the game, then. Tyler, guess what! You're out of here!" bellowed Blaineley.

"But he wasn't injured nearly as badly as Alejandro was...can't you cut him some slack?" pointed out Mike.

"So? We all know that you five are going to kick him out of the game anyway...I mean, thank about it? Do you want a guy with an injured arm on your team?" retorted Blaineley.

"Well, no, but-"

"Then it's settled! Tyler, have fun being launched out of a cannon! I'll see you later at the Playas Des Losers!" bellowed the hostess.

Tyler simply sighed, while Lindsay looked rather upset.

**Confessional: Poor Tyler.**

**Tyler: *sighs* Well, I've had a good run...although personally I would have liked it if I was voted off normally rather than being kicked out of the game with a broken arm...**

**Lindsay: *she wipes a tear out of her eye* Why did it have to end like this?**

**B: *he is frowning***

**Dawn: I actually didn't predict this would happen...although I did point out that the Bludgers were hazardous...such a shame...**

_Later at the medical tent..._

"Due to the fact that I'm actually about as happy about this as you are...I'll let you two lovebirds have some time together before Tyler here has to go. How does that sound?" Blaineley inquired.

Lindsay nodded in agreement. It was as good of a deal as any. She entered the tent to check on her boyfriend.

Tyler as it turns out was lying on his bed, looking rather forlorn. His left arm was now in a sling. He noticed Lindsay and smiled a bit.

"Hey, Lindsay! Did you come here to say goodbye?" he inquired.

Lindsay nodded.

After over a week in the competition, it was time for them to part...fortunately for them, it wouldn't last that long considering the fact the competition was about halfway over...but it wouldn't be easy for them nonetheless.

"Well, I hate to say it, but it looks like we're going to have to spend some time apart, Lindsay...hopefully we'll be able to see each other again at the Playa...whenever that happens." said Tyler.

"I'm going to miss you two, Tyler..." said Lindsay.

"Hey! You finally got my name right!" he exclaimed.

"I did?" she questioned.

"You want to make out? We've got a few minutes before I have to leave..." he said.

"Sure!" exclaimed Lindsay.

And so the two lovebirds began to make out...when they were finished, Tyler was covered in love marks.

"Alright, Lindsay...it's time for me to leave. Good luck in the competion without me." he said.

"You too, Tyler." said Lindsay.

"You got my name right again!" he exclaimed.

Lindsay looked rather surprised.

Tyler promptly went to the Dock Of Shame and launched him out of the Cannon Of Shame.

"Have fun at the Playas Des Losers...or whatever it's called." said Lindsay.

"I will!" he answered.

The cannon fired, and Tyler was sent flying to the Playas Des Losers.

"I sure hope he doesn't suffer more injuries from the landing...it sure looks like a bumpy ride." pointed out Mike.

Zoey, B, and Dawn nodded in agreement.

"Well, I know that you're upset about Tyler's elimination...but you'll get over it eventually. Unfortunately for you, you've now been reduced to a group of five! Tough luck! Hopefully you can avoid being reduced to four...but it doesn't really matter too much because the next challenge is right before the merge!" explained Blaineley.

"It is?" questioned Lindsay.

"What? I don't feel like it hiding it from you like Chris usually does...I mean, it happens every season...we can't keep you all in teams, forever you know. This game is more fun as a free-for-all!" she exclaimed.

"I like working as a team..." said Dawn.

B nodded in agreement.

"Well, too bad! Because pretty soon those days are going to be over! Enjoy being part of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot while you can, because it's not going to be long now before you all are playing the game solo!" she exclaimed.

The remaining members of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot members sighed.

"Smell you later!" she said as she leaved.

"Do we smell bad? I took a shower today!" inquired Lindsay, taking what she said literally.

"Sheesh...and to think that we're her favorite team on this show...I wonder how she treats Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself whenever they're at a bonfire ceremony." said Mike.

"She probably tells them what big losers they are...and that they don't even deserve to be in this game." pointed out Zoey.

B nodded in agreement. He started to feel glad that Blaineley hadn't put him on a team full of people she vented her anger against Bridgette on...or that she hadn't put him on the same team as Scott like Chris did.

"Well, hopefully we can win the next challenge...or failing that nobody else gets injured." said Dawn.

The other campers nodded in agreement as they headed for bed.

_Meanwhile at the Dock of Shame..._

"As usual, Tyler has proved himself to be somewhat of a wimp, he fell and ended up injuring his arm. Tough luck. And now Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is at an even greater disadvantage than before...can they make up for their losses? Granted, it doesn't really matter considering the fact that the merge is going to arrive after the next challenge..." said Blaineley.

"You're kind of killing the suspense here." pointed out Chef Hatchet.

"So what? It's not like I have to host this show the same way that Chris did...after all, he did get sent to prison for being such a jerkface and for trying to blow up the campers with a bomb..." stated Blaineley.

"And for polluting the island." pointed out Chef.

"Yes yes...but who the heck cares about this island? It didn't even get used during the second and third season...it just loitered in the ocean...personally I wonder if it's going to end up as a resort after this is over..." stated the hostess.

"Don't we already have the Playa for that?" said Hatchet.

"Yeah, well...why not have two resorts instead of just one?" questioned Blaineley.

"Good point." agreed Chef Hatchet.

"Anyways, I suppose I'll listen to you this time and act all dramatic like Chris does. Now then...will Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot finallyscore a victory after their horrible losing streak? Or will Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself win a whopping four times in a row? Find out on the next episode of Total...Drama...Insanity!" she exclaimed.

"Now that's more like Chris..." said Chef.

"Yeah yeah yeah...don't think I'm his spitting image...in case you were wondering, I don't actually plan on polluting this island...now that would just be weird." informed Blaineley.

"Really? I saw you drink a can of soda and leave it on the ground instead of recycling it..." pointed out Chef.

"I couldn't find the recycle bin, OK?!" she screeched.

"It's right outside the mess hall." explained Chef.

"Whatever!" she exclaimed.

Votes: None, since Tyler injured himself and was eliminated automatically.

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam, Gwen, Alejandro, Dakota, Cody, Cameron, Owen, Tyler

_Well, there's been yet another depressing elimination. Tyler has injured himself and Lindsay is now playing the game without her boyfriend...hopefully she can cope like Sierra did...that's how the game works, after all, unfortunately._

_As for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, they've been reduced to a simple five. They just aren't doing so well, are they? But as Blaineley said, soon the merge will be upon them, so they won't have to worry too much. But can they win the next challenge?_

_As Blaineley said...you'll find out in the next chapter of Total...Drama..._

_Well, you know what I mean._

_Oh, and in case you were wondering, the next challenge is going to be a Simon Says challenge...or in this case a Blaineley Says challenge...are you interested? I hope you are._

_So, adios!_


	25. Day 11: Following Orders

Total Drama Insanity

_Time for yet another chapter of Total Drama Insanity...in this chapter, the campers are going to participate in a Simon Says challenge...specifically, they're going to do whatever Blaineley tells them to do...unless of course she doesn't say Blaineley says..._

_If you're confused, Blaineley's going to explain the challenge like always...personally I think this challenge is going to be pretty simplistic though..._

**Chapter 25: Following Orders**

"Welcome back to Total Drama Insanity. Now, what happened in the last episode again? For some strange reason I'm having a hard time remembering..." said Blaineley.

She began to scratch her head, thinking of what had happened in the last episode. Why exactly was it so hard to remember? Did she hit her head before putting the show back onto the air?

"Oh. Now I remember...in the last episode I made the campers participate in a Quidditch match...you know, from Harry Potter. Don't judge me...I don't really see why people are so against witchcraft...people keep calling me a witch when I'm not even magical...why do they keep doing that? They must be crazy or something..."

"Anyways...both teams spent their time putting Quaffles into the hoops, trying to prevent their opponents scoring, batting Bludgers away from their teams, and searching for the Golden Snitch. You know, like the game is usually played in the Harry Potter universe. What? Did you not think I read the books?"

"In the end, it was Tyler that spotted the Golden Snitch...but guess what? Lightning spotted it too! Tyler almost managed to capture it, but at the last second a Bludger hit him and caused to hit the ground and break his arm. Tough luck."

"Unsurprisingly, this allowed Lightning to capture the Golden Snitch and win the challenge...and because Tyler injured his arm, he ended up being shot out of the Cannon of Shame."

"And guess what else? The merge is almost here! Pretty soon this game is going to become a free-for-all...but before that there's going to be one last bonfire ceremony for one respective team...who's it going to be? Find out on this episode of Total...Drama...Insanity!"

_Hope the theme song didn't get stuck in your head..._

Mike and B were now the only two boys left in the Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot cabin. Considering the fact that B never actually talked, it was rather quiet in the cabin...Mike personally wondered if a conversation with him would work out.

Nonetheless, he decided to talk to him.

"It feels funny now that it's just you and me...this team sure has gotten small, hasn't it?" questioned Mike.

B nodded in agreement.

"It's not something we should really worry about that though...Blaineley said that it was not going to be long before the merge...still, I wonder whose going to be the final pre-merge boot? I personally hope that we can win the last challenge...in case you haven't noticed, we just lost for the third time in a row." he said.

B dropped his head sadly. They always seemed to do so well during challenges before...had their luck finally run out? Was there only going to be four of them left by the merge? If so, they might be in trouble. The remaining Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself members would probably team up and decide to pick them off one by one. Of course, he was just guessing.

"By the way, do you ever talk? Just wondering...you just don't seem to say much, that's all." he asked.

B pulled out a piece of paper and began to write on it.

"Hmm?" questioned Mike.

B then explained to Mike that he can talk, he just doesn't really have much to say to others.

"Oh...now I get it...I sure hope that you can find something to talk about soon you know...I'm starting to feel a little lonely." he said.

B wrote down on another piece of paper.

"Oh, you're sorry to hear that...well, fortunately, a bunch of boys will be moving in with us soon...so I don't think it's a big deal." said Mike.

B nodded his head again. It felt funny being alone with another camper in the cabin...of course, said camper was his friend, but it still felt rather unusual.

**Confessional: When will B actually say something? We're waiting.**

**B: *he looks rather happy to have had a conversation with Mike, even if he didn't actually talk***

**Mike: Just one more challenge until the merge...I hope that we can make it through...**

_Now for the girls, of course...you should know the pattern of this by now...of course, the pattern's going to break pretty soon..._

As usual, Lindsay, Dawn, and Zoey were discussing what had happened in the last episode. Lindsay in particular was unhappy to see Tyler gone.

"I can't believe Tyler is gone...and it's all because he injured his arm...it's not fair!" said Lindsay.

"I see that you're finally getting his name right...you must be pretty close if you can remember his name so well." pointed out Zoey. "Personally I wonder if my boyfriend is going to get eliminated soon...this is the second couple on the show that has been split now...or third if you count Cody and Sierra."

"I personally hope that B isn't going to be eliminated in the next ceremony...it's a good thing that Heather is the only one here that would cheat someone out of the game at this point...I'm surprised that Scott and Alejandro went so quickly..." said Dawn.

"Apparently Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself realized what they were planning and got them booted out of the game as soon as possible." agreed Zoey.

"Wasn't Albert kicked out of the game after a plane fell on top of him? It sure looked like it hurt..." pointed out Lindsay.

"Well, in that case, we got lucky. Personally it's rather ironic considering the fact he spent the third season on a plane...of course, considering all the wrongdoings he did on World Tour, maybe it's karma." said Dawn.

"Didn't you predict that horrible accident would happen? I'm starting to wonder if you're psychic." inquired Zoey.

"As a matter of fact, maybe I am. Personally I wish that I would predict something positive would happen for a change... I actually feel kind of weird..." stated Dawn.

"I don't think you're weird." answered Lindsay.

"Thanks..." said the moonchild.

**Confessional: How many automatic eliminations are there going to be?**

**Zoey: Considering how many campers get injured on this show, I'm starting to wonder if this show is going to get sued.**

**Lindsay: *sighs* I miss Tyler...hopefully I'll see him again at the Playas Des Losers...**

**Dawn: Who will be the last camper to go before the merge? I wonder...**

_Now let's check on the Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself boys..._

Ezekiel, Brick, Duncan, and Lightning were all in a rather good mood...and considering the fact that they had won three challenges in a row, that was rather excited.

"Just one more challenge until the merge! We can do this, team!" exclaimed Brick.

"So what? It's not like it matters whether we actually win this challenge or not...the teams are going to get disbanded." pointed out Duncan.

"I still would like to win though eh." answered Ezekiel.

"Of course we're going to win this challenge! When was the last time we lost?" inquired Lightning.

"Well, the last time we lost the challenge, it was because Blaineley wasn't being fair to us...we ended up losing Cody...it was actually rather sad..." said Brick.

"Oh...I guess we must be invincible or something!" exclaimed Lightning.

"But we lost Courtney, Scott, and Alejandro too..." pointed out Ezekiel.

"It's not like they're going to be missed." said Duncan.

"Yeah, but still!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

"I think we're got a good chance of winning this. There's only five members of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot left...and there are seven of us. Of course, we still need to do our best, am I right?" inquired Brick.

"Lightning always does his best! Why do you think he's so awesome?" inquired Lightning.

Brick shrugged.

**Confessional: Is Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's luck finally going to run out?**

**Brick: Funny...I ended up being kicked out of the competition right before the merge...and it was all because I decided to help out my opponents...just my luck.**

**Lightning: Lightning's going to make it to the merge and he knows it!**

**Ezekiel: Am I going to make it to the merge this time? I thought I was going to end up being voted off first this time...I couldn't have been more wrong.**

**Duncan: I don't really see what the point of this challenge is...just start the merge already! I don't have all day, you know!**

_Finally, let's check on the girls..._

All three of the girls in Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself were excited about the merge. In Heather's case, it was because she finally would no longer be alone with Izzy and Sierra.

"Just one more challenge until the merge...then I won't be alone with these two. Such a pleasant thought." thought Heather.

"Can you believe it? We're almost at the merge!" exclaimed Izzy.

"That we are...I wonder if one of us is going to win this season." said Sierra.

"I'm personally hoping that it's going to be me." said Heather.

"Didn't you already win the third season?" inquired Sierra.

"Yes, but I lost the money to a freaking volcano, in case you don't remember...since, you know, you were there to witness it. Just my luck..." said the mean girl.

"Didn't you get your head shaved in the first season? It was completely and utterly hilarious!" questioned Izzy.

"Don't remind me...my hair took forever to grow back." stated Heather.

"Sorry to hear that." sympathized Sierra.

"Ah yes...that plane explosion ruined your hair, didn't it?" inquired Heather.

Sierra frowned.

"Chris might as well start selling wigs considering how many campers have lost their hair during the show..." said the girl.

**Confessional: Heather deserved what happened to her...Sierra, not so much.**

**Heather: I can't wait for the merge to come...I'm tired of sleeping with only these two freaks...**

**Izzy: This is going to be so awesome!**

**Sierra: It's a shame that Cody didn't make it to the merge...*she sighs***

_Now let's check on Chef..._

As before, Chef was busy reading his newspaper. Now that Phineas and Ferb were gone, the newspaper was probably not going to be as interesting. Nonetheless, he decided to see if he could find anything interesting.

Curiously enough, it was about Chris Mclean, the former host of the show before he got arrested and sent off to prison.

"What does it have to say about him?" he wondered.

Apparently, he had tried to break out of prison...and had almost succeeded. And it was all because one of the guards left behind a shovel that he could reach.

"Well, that's rather interesting. He almost dug his way out of a high-security prison? He must be smarter than I thought." Chef said.

It also said that he was stuck in a cell with a rather obese cell mate that would simply not leave him alone.

"I guess that's what he gets for being so arrogant. It's always about him, isn't it? Maybe he should think about people other than himself for a change...or maybe someone should turn him into a vampire. That way he won't be able to look at his own reflection. Heh heh." chuckled Hatchet.

Nonetheless, he wondered if Chris McLean would escape from prison one day. If so, he and everyone else on the show might be in trouble. Even before his arrest he never seemed to treat the campers well, would he blame everyone on the show for what happened? Would he try to get revenge?

"What are you reading? Is it the newspaper again?" inquired Staci.

"As a matter of fact, yes. In fact, it's a newspaper article about Chris...in case you don't remember, he got himself arrested for polluting Camp Wawanakwa...services him right for playing with nuclear waste...doesn't he know that it's dangerous?" questioned Chef.

"Probably not. He never valued our safety...personally I'm surprised that the show hasn't been sued yet. Then again, Courtney almost did...until Chris decided to bring her back on Total Drama Action." said Harold. "I'm glad that she got booted out first this time..."

"You think he would have caught on after all the wildlife began to mutate...I mean, just look at Fang the Shark! Did he not think that regular sharks were dangerous enough?" said Chef Hatchet.

"Just look at what they did to Scott." stated Staci.

"I just hope that Blaineley doesn't do something stupid on this show...like drop a nuke on it or something...otherwise we all might end up getting killed." worried Chef.

"Right..." agreed Harold.

**Confessional: At this rate, this island is going to sink to the bottom of the ocean.**

**Harold: Personally, I wonder if Blaineley is going to make a tsunami hit the island...considering the fact that we're surrounded by water that would be devastating.**

**Staci: I wonder if Chris invented being a jerk to contestants on your own show.**

**Chef Hatchet: The longer Chris stays in prison, the better. I really don't exactly look forward to seeing him again...**

_Now let's check on Blaineley..._

Blaineley thought to herself what exactlyshe was going to do for the next challenge. There was just one challenge away from the merge...suffice to say, the challenges would change significantly, as not as many campers would receive immunity.

Yet there were so many choices that she could use for one last challenge. It was actually rather tricky to decide. Just what should she choose?

"What should I do for the last challenge before the merge? I kind of want to end it with a big bang to be honest." she spoke to herself.

"Maybe I should make them jump into shark-infested waters? Personally I enjoyed what happened to Scott."

She then remembered that the campers' parents were likely watching the show, and if she tried that, she would likely get sued.

"Oh right...wouldn't want to lose money rather than make money...darn it! That would have been funny!" she exclaimed.

After taking that idea to the scrapboard, she then decided maybe it should be something that she enjoyed...and of course, at the other campers' expense. She did like making them go through grueling challenges about as much as Chris did, after all.

But what exactly could she do that would make the campers groan but would make her squeal?

"Maybe I should make the campers swim in a river of acid...it would be so funny to watch them melt..." said Blaineley.

She then remembered what happened to Chris, and if she tried that she would likely get arrested for murder charges.

"Darn it! If only I were above the law...that would be so sweet." said Blaineley.

She then recalled that she liked to boss the campers around, and suddenly she got an idea.

"I know! I'll make them do everything I tell them to do! I bet they wouldn't like that, heh heh." exclaimed Blaineley.

"Wait, don't I already do that with the interns? Oh well...who cares? Come to think of it, maybe I should make it a Simon Says challenge...it would be nice to be able to trick the campers every once in a while." she said.

"And of course, I'll probably get to save money with this challenge...the more money I get to spend on myself, the better!" exclaimed Blaineley.

**Confessional: Duncan isn't going to like this challenge...and neither will his teammates...or his opponents...**

**Blaineley: *she has put on a military outfit* I should probably start by making them drop and give me twenty...wait, should I ask them to do pushups or give me money? Then again, they probably don't have that much...**

_I think I know what you all are waiting for..._

The remaining campers were eating lunch at the mess hall. Interestingly enough, it would be the last time they did so at two different tables...

"Campers, guess what? It's time to report for the next challenge!" bellowed Blaineley on the loudspeaker.

"Well, finally, I was afraid that there wasn't going to be one today." answered Duncan.

"Of course there's going to be a challenge today! Why would you think that there wasn't going to be one?" inquired Blaineley.

Duncan simply shrugged.

"Lightning would be seriously disappointed if that happened! They're the best part of this show!" exclaimed Lightning.

"I actually agree with you on that one." nodded Blaineley. "I get to watch you all suffer."

"I would like to take a break...I'm still upset about what happened to Tyler..." said Lindsay.

"You've memorized his name pretty well, have you? I'm rather surprised!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"I have?" questioned Lindsay.

"Yes, you have." answered Zoey.

"Hooray!" cheered Lindsay.

"I always remember Cody's name...why does she have such a hard time remembering her boyfriend's?" inquired Sierra.

"Because she's a complete and utter idiot." answered Heather sarcastically.

"What did she ever do to you?" questioned Sierra.

"Nothing, I just think that she should wear a dunce hat, that's all." she retorted.

"Personally I think all of you should wear dunce hats. Now hurry up and go to the challenge already. I don't have all day, you know...or this entire episode." said Blaineley.

"Did you just break the fourth wall?" inquired Dawn.

"Yes, I did! This is a reality show! Who cares about breaking the fourth wall? Now hurry up!" demanded Blaineley.

**Confessional: Time for the next challenge.**

**Mike: Just one more challenge until the merge...I can do this!**

**Lightning: *he is flexing his muscles***

**Brick: Something tells me that this challenge was made for me...I wonder why.**

**Lindsay: *she is writing Tyler's name down, in case she forgets again***

"So, are you all ready for the next challenge?" inquired Blaineley.

"I need to use the restroom." said Ezekiel.

"Then do it lumberjack style! Sheesh, you campers are as slow as turtles!" bellowed Blaineley.

After Ezekiel had finished using the restroom, Blaineley explained to the campers what the challenge was going to be.

"Alright, your challenge is pretty simple this time. All you have to do is do exactly what I tell you to do." said Blaineley.

"That sounds pretty easy." said Brick.

"Not to me, it isn't. In case you haven't noticed, I never do what people tell me to do. Why do you think I'm such a delinquent?" said Duncan.

"Because you keep breaking the rules?" inquired Lindsay.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed.

"I love breaking the rules! It's so much fun!" squealed Izzy.

"It sure is." answered Duncan.

"There's a catch though...you see, you only follow my orders when I say Blaineley Says...if I don't say that, then don't listen to me..." said Blaineley.

"So this is kind of like Simon Says?" questioned Zoey.

"Yes, it's exactly like Simon Says...like I said, this challenge is pretty simple. However, whenever you disobey an order...or follow an order when I don't say Blaineley Says...guess what! You get kicked out! We'll keep going until one team is completely eliminated...understood?" said Blaineley.

"But we only have five members to Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's seven..." pointed out Mike.

"Too bad! You screwed up three challenges in a row and now you're going to pay for it! Consider yourself lucky that the merge is almost here..." said Blaineley.

"Yeah, I guess we are pretty lucky." said Zoey.

B nodded his head in agreement. What would he do if there were more challenges before the merge? His team would probably get wiped out...

**Confessional: Are you excited for the merge?**

**Dawn: I personally think that it's rather ironic that the merge is going to start once all the campers have been split in half...Blaineley already did that at the start of the season, didn't she?**

**Mike: Maybe I should start making some alliances...that should probably decreases my chances of losing...**

**Ezekiel: **

"Now then, you ready to get started?" inquired Blaineley.

The campers nodded.

"Good...Blaineley says, shower me with praise!" she exclaimed.

The campers groaned, and reluctantly began complimenting Blaineley, except for one.

"This challenge sucks. I'm out of here." said Duncan.

"Fine by me. I didn't like you anyway." said Blaineley.

Duncan wandered off to the mess hall.

"Should we vote him off if we lose?" questioned Brick.

"Lightning thinks we should keep him around...he'll probably meet a sticky end anyway." contradicted Lightning.

"If you say so..." answered Brick.

"Blaineley says...what's this? It's time for a commercial break!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"A commercial break?" questioned Ezekiel.

"We'll be back in a few minutes, don't worry. But for now, we're going off the air...so we'll be right back after these messages!" exclaimed Blaineley.

_It's the last challenge before the merge! Whose going to lose the last pre-merge challenge? Whose going to be the last camper not to make it to the merge? And what alliances will the merge bring? As always, you'll have to wait for the next chapter...so I hope you all are patient. Then again, you've never asked me to update this story more...so I guess I'm updating it frequently._


	26. Day 11: Paying Attention

Total Drama Insanity

_Here comes yet another chapter of Total Drama Insanity...in this chapter, we're going to see whose going to get voted off right before the merge...and of course, who's actually made it to the merge..._

_It personally feels funny being already halfway done with this story...I am thinking of making a sequel to it if you're curious..._

**Chapter 26: Paying Attention**

"Welcome back to Total Drama Insanity...since you know, you all love this show so much. In case you missed anything, I started another challenge...specificially, I'm bossing the campers around...why am I doing that you ask? Because I like bossing them around! It's so much fun!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"What am I going to make them do next? Surely there's got to be something else I can tell them to do...maybe I could make them give me a relaxing back rub...yeah, that would be nice...or maybe I could make them jump off the Thousand Foot Gorge...watching them scream would be hilarious."

"Aren't we supposed to be back on the air now? It's been a few minutes." inquired Dawn.

"Oh right...you probably want me to tell you what to do...alright then...tell Chef that nobody loves him, not even his own mother, and that the world would be a much better place without him!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Surprisingly, none of the campers actually did so. Blaineley promptly raised an eyebrow. She then realized that she hadn't said the magic words.

"Darn it! I forgot to say Blaineley Says...well, I'm not making that mistake again...tell Chef that his casserole tastes like manure!" she exclaimed.

The campers reluctantly decided to tell Chef the bad news.

"Your casserole tastes like manure. It makes me want to vomit all over the place." said Ezekiel.

Chef looked rather offended, to say the very least. In fact, his face promptly turned a rather dark shade of red.

"What did you say about my casserole?!" he exclaimed, pulling out a rather sharp-looking meat cleaver that was stained with blood. The campers slowly began to back away.

"Um, your casserole is awesome? At least I think so. I've tried it before." inquired Brick.

"And Brick is now out of the challenge!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Oh, come on! What did I do?!" exclaimed Brick. Why did Blaineley hate Chef's cooking so much? At least he was trying the hardest he could...

**Confessional: At least Blaineley's making them tell the truth.**

**Brick: That wasn't fair...I actually like Chef's cooking...why did Blaineley have to make me say things like that?**

**Chef: Did Blaineley really set the campers up to tell me that? And I thought I was insensitive...**

**Mike: This challenge might be harder than we thought...**

**Blaineley: It's true! Chef's cooking makes me gag! Maybe I should fire him and replace him with someone better...**

"Now then, Blaineley says, tell Staci that she's ugly and fat! And that she farts like crazy!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"What?! No way! That's just plain cruel! I know that she always talks about her imaginary ancestors...but that's a little extreme, don't you think?" bellowed Mike.

"If you're not going to listen to me, then get the heck out of here! You're out of the challenge!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Mike frowned as he went back to the mess hall. To think it was all simply because he refused to insult somebody. Zoey in particular looked upset about her boyfriend's unfair elimination from the challenge.

"You're really making this game unfair, Blaineley...making us insult the interns who work hard on this show..." said Zoey.

"Who said that I had to play this game fair? I like making this game as rigged as possible." she answered.

"Jeez..." answered Zoey.

Reluctantly, the campers decided to tell Staci the bad news.

"Um, Blaineley wanted us to tell you that you're ugly and fat. And that you fart constantly...like you've eaten dozens of burritos." said Sierra.

Staci looked upset. She promptly lowered her head. Was that really what people thought about her?

"Why'd she want you to tell her that? I always treated her with respect...why does she hate me so much?" inquired Staci.

"Let's just say that she's a horrible woman and that she shouldn't be the hostess of this show." answered Dawn.

B nodded. Why did the producer of Total Drama hire her in the first place? Didn't he know that she is just as bad as Chris MacLean himself? Hopefully if he decided to get a new host they would be a better person that Blaineley or Chris is.

"Oh...well, I'm starting to wonder why I'm even working for her then." said Staci. "And to think I once saved her and Chef from two delinquent kids..."

"I know...if it weren't for you Total Drama Island might have ended up being cancelled. agreed Zoey.

"And then none of us would have ended up getting the prize money." agreed Heather.

"Is money all you ever think about? I've seen you with money signs in your eyes before..." inquired Sierra.

"Why do you think I'm still competing after all this time? So that I can have fun on this show? There's a million better ways for me to spend my time, if you ask me..." questioned Heather.

"Oh...don't you think there are more important things in life than money?" answered Sierra.

"Not really." she answered.

**Confessional: Blaineley isn't being too grateful, is she?**

**Staci: Maybe I shouldn't have rescued Blaineley in the first place...then again, I don't think we could do this show without a host...**

**Harold: Wait, Blaineley made the campers tell Staci that she's ugly and fat after she saved her from being kidnapped? I'm having a bit of a hard time believing that...**

**Dawn: The sooner this challenge ends...the better...I can't believe Blaineley is making us say all these horrible things...**

**B: *he looks upset***

"Now then, what else can I make you do?" questioned Blaineley. "I know...how about you shower Bridgette with praise this time?"

The campers looked rather confused. Why would Blaineley do something like that? Did something hit her on the head? The last time they had checked, Blaineley and Bridgette were mortal enemies...and Blaineley had sent Bridgette to Siberia just to get rid out of her.

"Who is Bridgette anyway? You always seem to say mean things about her..." questioned Lindsay.

"You don't remember her? You were on the same team as her on the third season of Total Drama, for crying out loud!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"I just can't remember..." said Lindsay.

Blaineley sighed..

Not realizing that Blaineley hadn't said Blaineley Says, Zoey decided to compliment Bridgette.

"Um, Bridgette is awesome?" questioned Zoey.

"Psyche! You're out of the challenge! And seriously, who would say something like that about her? Everyone knows that she never should have been born in the first place!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Darn it! I forgot that you didn't say Blaineley says...why is that so hard to remember?" she said.

"Off to the mess hall you go! Say hi to your little boyfriend Mike for me!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Zoey sighed and went to the mess hall. First her boyfriend, and now this. It was just her luck today.

"I'm starting to wonder if we're going to lose again." she thought.

_Meanwhile in the aftermath studio..._

"I can't help but shake the feeling that Blaineley is saying mean stuff about me again..." said Bridgette, who looked rather upset. "What did I ever do to her? I don't ever remember wronging her in the past...**"**

"She just probably has way too much time on her hands..." agreed Geoff.

_Now back to the campers..._

"Now then...what have I not told you do to yet? Ah yes...Blaineley says slap yourselves in the face!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"What? You're making us hurt ourselves?" questioned Dawn.

"Of course! It's so funny to watch you all suffer! Now if only I had a bag of popcorn..." exclaimed Blaineley.

"You're really taking this challenge a little far, Blaineley...you better not order us to take a walk in a minefield..." said Sierra.

"A minefield, huh? That's actually a pretty good idea...maybe I'll do that for a future challenge." noted Blaineley.

Interestingly enough, Izzy was already slapping herself...and she seemed to be enjoying it...a little too much.

"But you know what, if you all insist, then fine. Wouldn't want to get sued...which surprisingly has never happened to Chris despite everything he's done that would make your parents angry...but anyways... Blaineley says call Bridgette a ugly, hairy ogre." said Blaineley.

"You sure you aren't talking about yourself?" inquired Heather.

"For that remark you're out of the challenge." said Blaineley.

"Fine...I didn't like this challenge anyway." she answered as she went to the mess hall.

**Confessional: Heather is right, Blaineley is an ugly, hairy ogre. I'm sure at least some of you will agree.**

**Ezekiel: What exactly is an ogre anyway eh? Some kind of fat guy that makes Owen seem skinny?**

**Izzy: *she is still slapping herself in the face* This feels totally awesome! I could do this all day!**

**Blaineley: What was Heather thinking? Everyone here thinks I'm beautiful!**

**Sierra: This challenge is starting to drive me crazy...Blaineley keeps making us do more and more horrible things...**

"Now then, why don't you all go and dunk your heads in the toilet inside the confessional? Feel free to line up..." inquired Blaineley.

The campers looked rather disgusted...thankfully, they realized that Blaineley hadn't actually said Blaineley says and decided not to do what she told them to do.

Except for Izzy, who came out of the confessional a few seconds later...suffice to say, the campers were even more grossed out.

"Izzy, she didn't say Blaineley says!" exclaimed Sierra.

"But Izzy wanted to dunk her head in the toilet!" bellowed Izzy.

"That's disgusting! What were you thinking?!" exclaimed Lindsay.

"You're supposed to dunk other people's heads in the toilet, not yourself!" agreed Lightning.

"Izzy is now out of the challenge! Sucks to be her!" bellowed Blaineley.

Izzy happily ran to the mess hall.

"She doesn't seem too upset that she's been kicked out of the challenge..." noted Dawn.

B simply shrugged. Perhaps she didn't realize that getting booted out left her team at a disadvantage?

"Now then, let's make fun of one of of the campers now! I know! Blaineley says tell Dawn that she's hideous beyond all belief!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Dawn looked upset.

Unfortunately for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, B found himself unable to do so.

"Well, B, since you didn't insult Dawn, you're out of the challenge! It looks like this challenge is going to be over soon..." said Blaineley.

B sighed and went to the mess hall with the now numerous campers that had already been booted out.

**Confessional: Whose going to win the last pre-merge challenge?**

**Dawn: I'm glad that B stood up for me...but now we're probably going to lose the challenge...**

**Ezekiel: First Blaineley tells us to insult Bridgette, and now she tells us to insult Dawn. What is she going to make us do next eh.**

**B: *he holds out a picture of Blaineley with horns on her head and a trident in her hands***

**Chef: I think Blaineley is using this challenge just so she can insult people...she already made the campers insult my cooking...**

"Now then, let's make fun of one of the campers that has been voted off. Blainey says, say that Cody is a monkey that is so stupid that he has a negative IQ." said Blaineley.

"You're making us say that our former teammate is a stupid monkey with a negative IQ? That's kind of harsh eh..." said Ezekiel.

"Very good! Anyone else?" inquired Blaineley.

Due to the fact that she was Cody's biggest fangirl in the universe (or at least the Total Drama universe), Sierra unfortunately found herself unable to do so.

"I can't say it...he's the best boy in the entire world...to say that about him would make me an abomination..." said Sierra.

"Then you're out of the challenge, Sierra. To the mess hall you go! Sheesh, what do you see in Cody anyway?" exclaimed Blaineley, pointing in its direction.

Sierra sighed and went to the mess hall. At least Cody would probably be proud of her for not insulting him.

"Now then, Blaineley says...give yourself a wedgie so that I can see your underwear! Maybe if I'm lucky you secretly wear Hello Kitty!" exclaimed the hostess.

"What? No way! That's humilating! Wedgies are for nerds, not for jocks like me! I'm not doing it!" exclaimed Lightning.

"If you're not going to listen to me, then get out of my sight, jock boy!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Lightning groaned and went to the mess hall. He was sure that he would able to win the challenge for his team like he did in the last episode...but apparently he was wrong.

The other campers reluctantly decided to give themselves wedgies.

"Good grief this is humilating..." said Dawn.

"Agreed." answered Lindsay.

"Now then...why don't you all shave Lindsay's head bald? I bet it would be hilarious to see her bald!" said the hostess, handing the three remaining campers some razors.

Lindsay promptly yelped and ran away. She couldn't stand the thought of losing all her hair. To add insult to injury, that would have caused all her hair dye she had used up to go to waste.

"Wait a minute...you didn't say Blaineley says..." noted Dawn.

"I know, I just wanted to see how she would react...it was priceless! And guess what else!Now it's down to you and Ezekiel!" squealed the hostess.

Dawn looked around and discovered that Blaineley is right...apparently all the crazy commands she had given had taken their toll on the campers.

**Confessional: Dawn vs. Ezekiel!**

**Ezekiel: I can win this for my team eh...of course, if I lose I might end up getting voted off...so I better make this count...**

**Dawn: I sure hope that I can win this...then again, even if I lose B will probably vote with me...**

"Now then, let's see if this command decides who manages to win this once and for all, shall we? Blaineley says...said Blaineley.

Dawn and Ezekiel listened closely...would she try to deceive them again? Or did she actually want them to listen to her?

"Take off Ezekiel's hat." said Blaineley.

"What?!" exclaimed Ezekiel.

Suddenly, Dawn reached forward and took off Ezekiel's hat.

"My hat!" exclaimed the farm boy, who promptly clutched his head. What was he going to do without it?

"And it looks like Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot wins the challenge!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Dawn cheered while Ezekiel looked rather upset about losing the challenge for his team.

"Can I least have my hat back eh? It's kind of special for me...in case you haven't noticed, I've worn it since the beginning of the show eh." inquired Ezekiel.

Dawn nodded and put it back on his head.

"Thanks..." he said.

A few minutes later, Blaineley came into the mess hall to tell the campers the good news.

"Guess what! Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot managed to win the challenge!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"Does this mean that we've made it to the merge?" inquired Lindsay.

"As a matter of fact, you have! Aren't you lucky!" she answered.

Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot promptly began to celebrate. They had finally managed to win another challenge!

**Confessional: Congratulations, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot!**

**Lindsay: I just wish that Tyler were here to see this...**

**Zoey: I've made it to the merge, again! Hopefully I won't end up getting eliminated by a jock this time...**

**Mike: Now that Scott is gone, I think I might actually be able to win this season...although personally I would like for Zoey to win too.**

**Dawn: *she lets out a sigh of relief* I thought for a moment that I was going to lose the challenge...**

**B: *he has a big smile on his face***

"As for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself, as usual, you're a bunch of losers! You're going to have to have one last bonfire ceremony before the merge...so it sucks to be you!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Suffice to say, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself weren't too happy about the turns of events...it looked like their winning streak had finally come to an end.

"Big deal. I never liked this show anyway." said Duncan.

"The incompetence of my teammates astounds me. Why can't I be on the other team? Surely they would be much more useful than these losers..." mumbled Heather.

"What did you say about us?" questioned Sierra.

"Um..." said Heather.

"I think Heather's insulting us..." Sierra informed to her other teammates.

Unsurprisingly, the other Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself members weren't too happy about the things that Heather had said, and promptly glared at her.

"Well, this doesn't bode too well for me..." said Heather.

**Confessional: It's time for the last bonfire ceremony before the merge!**

**Heather: I'm voting for Duncan...I can't stand being with him any longer...**

**Sierra: Heather, if you're going to act like Blaineley, then I'm voting you off!**

**Brick: I'm voting off Heather...she needs to treat her comrades with respect.**

**Izzy: Who should Izzy vote for? *she ponders her decision for a few seconds* I know! I'll vote for Duncan!**

_At the bonfire ceremony of doom (well, for one of the campers anyway, since almost all of the campers are going to stay in the game irregardless of who gets voted off)..._

"Well here you are...despite your number advantage against Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, you've managed to end up here once again...and only six of you are going to make it to the merge. Tough luck." said Blaineley.

"We did our best eh..." said Ezekiel.

"Well, your best wasn't good enough, because as we all know, you guys freaking suck! I'm personally surprised that you all weren't wiped out before the last pre-merge bonfire ceremony if you ask me..." exclaimed Blaineley.

"Why do you have to be so mean to us?" questioned Sierra.

"Yeah! What did we ever do to you?" agreed Brick.

"To be honest, I don't really know anymore. Let me ask you a question. Why do you guys suck so much?" said Blaineley.

"Something tells me that one of these days you're going to get what's coming to you eh." said Ezekiel. "Just saying..."

"Yeah right...my life is absolutely perfect! What could possibly go wrong! Now then, let me start handing out the marshmallows, shall we?" questioned Blaineley.

"Can I quit the competition? I feel like I've been on this show since the beginning of time..." asked Duncan.

"Since you asked so nicely...no!" answered Blaineley.

Duncan simply sighed.

"The first marshmallow goes to...Ezekiel."

"The next marshmallow goes to...Sierra."

"Brick."

"Lightning."

"Izzy."

Heather and Duncan stood on the stumps without a marshmallow. Duncan prayed for his ticket off the island while Heather simply stood on her stump looking confident.

"And the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Duncan."

Duncan looked rather surprised while Heather's face promptly turned red.

"Gosh darn it! This season sucked! It never went well for me at all! My teammates all sucked! And I had to spend the show with a freaking psychopath and a fangirl who won't stop talking about Cody! And I had to put up with the worst hostess in history!" exclaimed Heather.

"Sucks to be you. Now get into the Cannon Of Shame!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Heather spat on the floor in disgust and boarded the Cannon Of Shame. As usual, Chef lit the fuse and Heather was sent flying towards the Playas Des Losers.

"As for the rest of you, although you don't really deserve it, guess what? You've all made it to the merge! Consider yourself lucky!" exclaimed Blaineley.

The other Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself members promptly cheered...except for Duncan, who looked rather upset.

"I want to go home..." said Duncan.

"Well too bad! You're stuck here until the end of the competition...which is over a week from now! Deal with it!" exclaimed Blaineley.

"I wish Chris was still host..." complained Duncan.

"Well, he's not! He's stuck behind bars...he can spend a life sentence in there for all I care! Now go back to your cabin!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Duncan sighed as he and all the other members of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself went back to the cabin.

_A few minutes later..._

Blaineley once again stood on the dock, satisfied with the events of the episode. Her sworn enemies Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself had finally lost another challenge...and now there were only about half of them left.

"Well, I'm rather satisfied with how this has gone...Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot finally snapped Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's winning streak! I feel so good...and Heather got voted off too...I'm sure nobody's going to miss her." said Blaineley.

"And the next challenge is going to be the merge challenge...it looks like the campers will have to start making some alliances...I can't wait to see how that turns out!"

"So stay tuned for the next episode of Total Drama Island!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Unfortunately, the camera would not stop filming.

"Um, you can turn off now." said Blaineley.

The cameras would still not turn off.

"What's wrong with them?!" exclaimed the hostess.

The cameras stayed on.

"Chef, there's something wrong with the cameras!" exclaimed Blaineley.

Chef shrugged and decided to give them a check.

"It looks like they've somehow rusted..." said Chef.

"Son of a-"

Votes:

Duncan: Duncan

Brick: Heather

Sierra: Heather

Lightning: Heather

Ezekiel: Heather

Heather: Duncan

Izzy: Duncan

Votes:

Heather: 4

Duncan: 3

**Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay**

**Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Duncan, Brick, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning**

Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam, Gwen, Alejandro, Dakota, Cody, Cameron, Owen, Tyler, Heather

_And Heather is now out of the competition...you're probably happy to see her gone...after all, she's almost as mean as Blaineley is..._

_And in case it's not obvious, although it should probably be obvious considering how much Blaineley has talked about it, the merge has arrived, and pretty soon the campers will have to start playing the game solo..._

_But before that there's going to be another aftermath special...where as before Bridgette and Geoff are going to start interviewing the campers...what crazy questions are the campers going to receive this time?_

_You'll find out in due time...so try to be patient, will you?_


End file.
